"Enough." I heard Ada's voice and released my body, under which lay an almost half-dead girl.
I took my knee, which was pressing on her neck, off her and stood up. I put my hands behind my back and straightened up before Ada came to us.
"Get up." She said without even looking at her. "And you." She looked at me. "You should train harder."
I took a deep breath and clenched my jaw to steady myself and not roll my eyes, for which I would have been in serious trouble.
"Do you want to tell me something?" She came closer.
"No ma'am."
"That's what I thought." She walked past me and almost knocked me to the ground when she bumped into my shoulder.
I struggled not to turn around and try to get kicked out for murdering a teacher.
I've been here for three years and this is the person I hate in the whole world. I don't know what she has against me, but whatever it is, she's an adult, she should think about herself. After all, I'm the kid here.
"Are you okay?" The girl I was training with stood awkwardly.
"Me? You were the one lying on the ground a moment ago, almost dead. How are you feeling?" I felt a little guilty.
"It could have been worse." She laughed. "I'm Aceso." She gave me her hand.
"Eris." I smiled and took her hand.
"I know. I've heard a lot about you."
"About me?" I frowned. "From who?"
"From some girls. They said you were really good for your age. Turns out you really are." She laughed.
"I'm trying to. I don't want to let anyone down."
"That makes two of us."
*
I woke up in the middle of the night and the place where Killian was sitting was empty. I must have fallen asleep after our conversation when I took the pills. I guess he didn't want to wait for me to wake up.
I don't blame him. I would do the same. He probably realized what he had done. It was a surprise for me when he came and in general that he confided in me about something.
But the thing is, I would probably do the same thing. We are so similar, yet so different.
We are both in a bad place and I guess we found comfort in each other. I don't know if it's good or bad.
But what I do know is that it's strange. From us pointing guns at each other to me washing the blood off his hands. And within weeks.
Life is really strange.
*****
This morning I officially got permission from the doctor to go for walks. He changed my medication, which is supposed to be weaker, and after which I won't be as tired as before. He warned me not to overdo it. As if that would ever stop me.
I decided to go for a walk later. Fresh air would do me good. I haven't left my apartment for five days. Which is way too much if you ask me.
I stayed here with Luna's flowers and the boring movies she left for me to watch in my free time.
Even though I had too much free time, I didn't watch anything. I'd rather be looking at a black screen. Luna's taste in movies is really bad.
"Oh come on." I rolled my eyes as I opened the nearly empty food storage container that Killian had brought me a few days ago. I have nothing else to eat, and this is certainly not enough.
My first walk seems to be to the store across the street.
I slammed the refrigerator door and took some money from the shelf.
I went into the hall and put on my shoes. I looked at myself in the mirror and just shrugged. The gray sweatpants had way too big and thick pockets that made my hips bigger than they were. The loose, blue t-shirt, which was a crop top style, had a few holes in it, but no one would notice that. I only go to the store. I don't have to look my best.
As I stood in the elevator, I couldn't wait to finally get out into the fresh air. Even if it's only to the store.
When I opened the front door and left the building, a wave of heat and the stench of car exhaust enveloped me.
I don't know why I imagined it somehow differently. I'm in New York after all.
I crossed the road and headed towards the store. The salesman raised his head towards me, but immediately put it back down in the newspaper when he realized it was me.
I guess he's still afraid of me.
The first thing I went for was obviously chocolate. I had no more supplies, so I suffered without it. While I was choosing which one to take, I heard the bell that was above the door.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guy who entered. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed his face.
"Finn?" He immediately turned to me when he heard his name. A smile appeared on his face, which was slightly damaged. He had a black eye, which healed quickly, and an eyebrow slightly split.
"Eris." He walked past the shelves to me.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm staying with a friend for a few days and this is the closest store. I never thought I'd find you here. I forgot you lived around here. No offense."
"Non taken." I laughed. "I just needed something to eat. But since me and cooking don't go together, it's going to be another dinner that I just heat up."
"There's a place a few blocks down that makes really good burgers." He pointed behind him. "I was thinking of going. You can join if you want."
"Hamburger sounds really good." I can't even remember the last time I had one.
"And they taste even better."
"Then why not." I smiled and put the chocolate back on the shelf.
We both started to walk towards the entrance as Finn passed me and opened the door for me like a gentleman. It was a nice gesture.
The whole way there we talked. Well, Finn was talking and I was listening. When we got there, we sat down and ordered.
"By the way, what happened to your face?" I asked as we waited for our food.
"This?" He pointed to his face. "I had to relax somehow. A fight sounded like a good idea at that point."
"Really?" I laughed. "You have bad ideas."
"Makes two of us. I noticed how you were walking. Something hurts."
"Wow. You've learned to perceive well." I laughed. "I got stabbed. It wasn't by choice, but it happened. It's too late to change it."
"Sometimes it's too late to change things. Or people." The tone of his voice was slightly sad.
"Are you talking about Killian?" He looked up at me and looked at me in surprise. "He came to see me after you left."
"He came to see you?" He raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess, he told you how very ungrateful I am." He snorted.
"He was scared." My answer surprised him. "He was afraid he was losing you all while trying to protect you."
"Did he tell you that?" I nodded. "He will say this to a stranger, but not to his own siblings." I could see that he was irritated.
"He's just trying to protect you all."
"You sound just like him, you know that? I never asked him to protect me."
"And who would protect you if not him? I don't know anything about your parents, but it doesn't look like they're around. So if he's not taking care of you, who else? He's trying to keep you all alive, and if you don't care, that makes you a fool."
"And what do you know about it?"
"I know that one day Killian won't be here and you'll regret everything. But then it'll be too late. That feeling will eat you alive every day for the rest of your life. He's here now, alive. Sit down with him and tell him what's wrong, no yelling. Do it before it's too late."
"Sit with him?" He snorted. "He can't find five minutes for Val."
"Val?" I frowned. Who is Val?
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that it's not easy with Killian. You have to know that."
"I know it's hard for him to open up. But he did. With me. There's no reason why he can't do it with you. He's just suffocating all his emotions because he thinks that if he shows them or gives in to them, it can get you killed. He's just trying to protect his family, and there's nothing wrong with that."
"He won't listen to me."
"Try it. You owe it to each other."
"If it doesn't work..."
"Just try it." I interrupted him. "Please."
"Fine." He exhaled heavily. "I'll try."
I felt a pleasant feeling in my heart after his words. I don't even know why I'm trying to fix Killian and Finn's relationship. I have nothing to do with it. But I couldn't help myself.
"What was his name?" Finn snapped me out of my thoughts. "Your brother."
"I don't have..." I took a breath. "Lukas." I swallowed hard and felt tears welling up in my eyes. "His name was Lukas."
That's the first time I told someone his name. And really, it feels good.
"I said I don't want to be disturbed." I shouted when I heard a knock on the door. The answer was another knock. "I'm working!" When someone knocked for the third time, I got up from my chair and started walking towards the door. "Don't you understand? I told no one to... Finn." I paused as I opened the door.
"Can we talk?"
"Yes of course." I stepped back from the door so he could enter and closed the door behind him.
He looks a little better than three days ago. His face is healing quickly.
I walked around the table and sat down while Finn did the same. He sat across from me and looked at the desk full of papers.
"I can come later if..."
"No, no." I interrupted him. "This can wait."
"All right." He exhaled heavily.
"Finn..."
"No." He cut me off. "I want to say something first. Please just hear me out."
"All right."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I treated you. Everything I said, I know isn't true. I know you care about us, and you want to protect us. It was foolish of me to say anything else. Now I know. I just feel like we're not brothers anymore. And that's the worst feeling in the world." Tears welled up in his eyes. "You took care of us when you didn't have to and you still do. And you were right, I never said thank you. You're a good brother and it was idiotic to say or even think anything else. I hope you can forgive me."
Without hesitation, I stood up and walked around the table to him. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his feet. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and gave him a big hug. Before long I felt him hug me back.
"Please Finn, don't ever leave like that again." I exhaled. "I love you little brother."
"Me too." He gripped me tighter.
Everyday when he wasn't home and I knew he was out there somewhere hating me broke my heart. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't stand it. It was impossible.
He is my brother after all.
We stood there for a few more minutes just hugging each other. We both probably needed it.
"You stepped out of your comfort zone." Finn said as we pulled away. "Hug me this long?" He laughed.
"It wasn't that bad." I smiled. "If you're hungry, we can call Kai and go out to eat together, how about that?"
"I already ate. With Eris actually."
"Eris?" I frowned.
"We met by chance and went for a meal. She opened my eyes there. Otherwise I probably wouldn't be here." He laughed nervously.
"Did she really do that?"
"And she paid for my meal." He smiled. "She's cool when she's not pointing a gun at me. You're quite similar in some ways."
"I guess we really are in a way."
*****
Yeah I like the relationship that Eris and Finn have. It's cute.
Hope you enjoyed. <3