Chapter 18: The Brazen: Chapter 17

“SO.” Kerrigan’s fingers fiddled in her lap.

“So.” I studied her profile, doing my best to keep my heart from galloping out of my chest.

She’d stayed. After I’d left her place tonight, I was sure I’d have to be the one to hunt her down.

Silence stretched as she glanced around the small hotel room.

This was the same room I’d stayed in before, number seven. The white comforter was soft and smooth over the king-sized bed. I’d put the small blanket down for Elias because he tended to spit up and that smell was not easy to get out.

The floor was crowded with Elias’s things. This was our first trip out of Denver and if there was a way to travel light with a baby, I’d failed spectacularly. A portable crib. Diapers. Clothes. Bottles. Formula. Blankets. We had a traveling nursery. I’d brought one suitcase for myself and the rest of the SUV had been packed for the bundle in my arms, who was inhaling his bottle.

“Does he sleep all night?” Kerrigan asked.

“If he goes four hours, it’s a good night. He usually takes a bottle around one or two.”

She hummed, her eyes darting to him before she stared straight ahead to the TV on the wide oak dresser. “Does your nanny help?”

“She does during the day while I’m at work. She helped in the beginning too. But now it’s mostly me and my boy.” I smiled down at him as he chugged.

It was too early to tell if he’d favor my features or Heidi’s, but he had my brown eyes and my dark hair.

“Where is she? The nanny. Didn’t she come along?”

“She did.” I nodded. “But that was mostly just to help on the drive. Her husband followed us in their own car. They’re using the trip as an excuse to visit Montana. They’ll be going to Big Sky and then spending a week in the Bozeman area.”

“And then you’ll go back to Denver.”

“They will. I won’t.”

She met my gaze. “You’re staying here?”

“Not in this room, but Montana, yes. My plan is to stay at the cabin for a while.” And if I was lucky, I’d convince Kerrigan to come along.

“Are you getting ready to sell it?”

“No. I might actually keep it.” I’d had every intention of selling Grandpa’s cabin. My time limit was nearly up and soon I’d be free to do so. But when the club had sent over the preliminary paperwork, I hadn’t been able to sign it.

Maybe that would change one day. My feelings were jumbled about the house and my grandfather. But there were good memories there.

Like Kerrigan, I hadn’t been able to let it go.

“How long will you stay?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” It depended on her.

“What about work?”

“There isn’t much I can’t do over video conferencing. It’s how we interact with our clients. I don’t need to be in the room to be effective. Having Elias, I’ve taken a step back already. This is simply a continuation of the same. And Nellie just got a promotion so she’ll be helping when I can’t be there in person.”

Her eyes softened. “How is Nellie?”

“She’s good. Living to give me a hard time about my life’s decisions.”

“I feel awful. We talked so often and then I ghosted her. Does she hate me?”

“Never.” I leaned over to brush my shoulder against hers. “She knows why you didn’t call her back.”

Kerrigan blew out a long breath, then looked at the baby and smiled. “He’s out.”

Elias’s mouth was hanging open, the bottle empty. I shifted him to my shoulder to pat his back. Usually he had a burp or two to work out and if I didn’t give his stomach a chance to settle, we’d be in for a long night.

“I’ve spent more time in a rocking chair than I ever expected. We sit like this, him asleep and me just rocking, over and over. I listen to your voicemails on the nights it’s hard for me to go back to sleep.”

“What voicemails?”

“The ones from this fall. In the dead of night, I’ll pull out my phone and press it to my ear. Just to hear you call me Mr. Sullivan.”

The corner of her mouth turned up. “You were such an ass.”

“I love those voicemails.” I chuckled. “The emails too. I love that you didn’t give up. Even when I ignored you.”

“I feel like such an idiot.” She covered her face with her hands. “Me and my little business and I called you every single day.”

“Your business isn’t little.”

Defeat clouded her expression as her frame slumped. “No, it is little.”

“Not to you. Not to me.” Her heart was involved and that meant the world.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.

“What did I say?”

“Nothing.” She waved it off. “And you’re right. My business isn’t little, not to me.”

In all my years of meeting with entrepreneurs, it was the ones like Kerrigan who always made the long shots worth it. Her heart was in it. Her passion. I’d bet on someone like her ten times over a person who might have perfect financials but a disconnected heart.

“I’ve been following you,” I said.

“You told me.”

“What you’re doing on TikTok is brilliant. A woman who’s not afraid to pull out the nail gun and lay some tile is going to take off. Just watch.”

“It hasn’t yet.”

“It will,” I promised because I believed in her to the depths of my soul. “My favorite post of yours is the one of you on First. Your hair is in a bun and you’re wearing that long-sleeved top with on the chest. Behind you is the street and you can see down the sidewalk.”

“That’s your favorite? Why?”

“Because it reminds me of the day I met you.” A day I’d never forget. The day my eyes had landed on her perfect lips and she’d captured my attention.

She leaned her head against the headboard, her gaze flicking to the door. “Why did you kiss me? That first night?”

“When you were yelling at me on the street, I couldn’t stop staring at your mouth. It had been a long time since I’d wanted to kiss a woman so badly. It unnerved me. And when you showed up here, I’d had enough to drink that I just decided .”

“Better watch the language, Dad.” She jerked her chin to Elias.

“There’s no hope he goes into kindergarten without dropping the f-word a time or two.”

She giggled. “My sister is a teacher. She always talks about her first year teaching. She was subbing because full-time positions don’t come open very often here, but when another teacher got divorced and moved away, Larke was able to pick up a spot for fifth grade. She started midyear and this kid walks into the room and asks, ‘Who the fuck are you?’ To this day, he is her favorite student. He’s in middle school now but stops by to see her once a week.”

I laughed, then swung my legs off the bed and stood, carrying Elias to his crib. The moment I laid him down, his hands, like always, went straight above his head. With him settled, I returned to the bed and stretched out on my side, propping up on an elbow. “Tell me more.”

Kerrigan shifted, turning sideways to face me. “About what?”

“Anything.” I’d listen to her tell me stories all night, every night. “What’s next for your business?”

She blew out a deep breath, sinking deeper into the pillows. “I am thinking about selling my house and buying another one to remodel. If I live there for two years, I won’t have to pay taxes on any capital gains.”

“Smart plan. And it gives you so much opportunity to post content.”

“Exactly.” Her eyes lit up. “I looked at a place on Tuesday. The exterior is in pretty good shape so I could probably get away with just some fresh paint and new shutters. The interior is a mess though.”

“Tell me about it.”

We spent the next hour talking about the three-bedroom, one-bathroom house. She talked about what she’d need to remodel and how much work she could do on her own versus what she’d have to hire out. The place needed two bathrooms to compete as a single-family home and though I didn’t doubt she could do it on her own, she wasn’t comfortable tackling an addition without professional help.

“I don’t want to get myself in a financial bind again,” she said. “But I think I’ll make enough profit on my house to pay for the remodel work on something new.”

“Then go for it. As long as you don’t mind living in a construction zone, it doesn’t sound like there’s much downside.”

She thought about it for a moment, then she gave me a sure nod. The look of determination on her face was one I’d seen before. “I will. I’m going to do it, no matter what my family thinks.”

“Your family doesn’t approve?”

“Not really.” She sighed. “They’re supportive in their own way. If I ever fall, they’ll be there with a safety net. But their idea of success is working for the family business.”

“The car dealership, right?”

She nodded. “It’s so strange because my granddad built that business on his own. And then my dad was the one who pushed to expand it. People told him that Calamity wasn’t big enough for a dealership of that size, but he proved them wrong. He’s built so much, all without a college degree. You’d think my parents would be all for me doing the same. But they don’t support me like . . .”

“

grandfather,” I said as she trailed off.

“Yes,” Kerrigan said. “I don’t know if I should talk about him or not.”

“You should.” Because he’d been important to her. And to me.

“Gabriel never doubted me. My family does.”

“Have you talked to them about it?”

“Yes and no. It falls on deaf ears and sometimes it’s just easier to tune them out. My family is huge. If there’s a fight, it becomes this big thing. The argument gets totally blown out of proportion. Privacy is nonexistent. Everyone is expected to choose a side.”

“And you’re worried that no one will pick yours.”

“Yes,” she confessed. “I consider myself to be a confident person.”

“I would agree.” It was that confidence that had made her call me each and every day. That confidence was what had made her fight.

“When it comes to my family, I’m not as tenacious. With so many feelings involved, it’s too exhausting to fight. Which totally messes with my mind because you’d think it would be the opposite.”

“I get it. They feel comfortable questioning you, so they do. And then you question yourself.”

“Yes.” She touched the tip of her nose. “Exactly.”

“Grandpa was that way with me.”

“But it didn’t mess with your head.”

“Of course it did. Why do you think I had to leave his company? I needed to prove to myself and to him that I could stand on my own two feet. The minute I shut out his voice, I learned to rely on my own instincts.”

“My brother is the worst. Zach is the oldest. He acts more like a parent than a sibling. We got into an argument earlier tonight. It’s happening more and more these days, and I just don’t know what his problem is.”

“Family is hard.”

“It is.” Her eyes drifted to Elias’s crib. “He’s beautiful, Pierce. Truly.”

“I didn’t know that I needed him. But I did. He put everything into perspective.”

Hate. Anger. Resentment.

Joy. Hope. Love.

With him, it was easier to let go of the bitter emotions and focus on the good.

“When I got that check, I thought I’d lost you,” I said, holding her mesmerizing gaze. “I don’t want to lose you, Kerr.”

Her eyes searched mine. If she was looking for raw honesty, it was there.

“That guy from earlier.”

“I broke it off.”

I blinked. “When?”

“Before I came here.”

“Why?”

“I’d planned to before you showed up. He wasn’t the guy for me.”

“And who is?”

She didn’t admit it was me. She didn’t have to because I saw it on her face.

Surging across the bed, I crossed the invisible line that separated us. Then my mouth was on hers and the rest of the world melted away.

Her lips parted and I slid my tongue inside, savoring her sweet taste. A moan came from deep in my chest, like that knot that had been there for months was finally unraveling.

Her hands came around my ribs, holding me to her as she leaned in, giving as much as she took. We kissed like kids in the backseat of a car, rushing to get it in before curfew.

My cock swelled as she shifted, taking more of my weight. God, what I wouldn’t give to sink inside her body. To feel her grip me as we came together.

I slid my hand under her top, feeling the silky skin over her stomach. She arched into my touch, breaking her mouth away to kiss at the underside of my jaw.

Diving under her bra, I cupped her breast. She moaned as I rolled her nipple with the pad of my thumb, then her hands were between us, going for my zipper.

A squawk came from the crib.

I froze.

Kerrigan froze.

When no other sound came, I breathed, ready to keep going, but when I met Kerrigan’s gaze, the moment was gone.

“We should probably slow down,” she whispered.

Fuck. Cockblocked by my own kid.

“Yeah.” I swallowed hard, rolling to my side of the bed and staring up at the ceiling. My breaths came in pants and the bulge behind my zipper was painful. “Want a glass of water?”

“Sure.” She sat up against the headboard and brushed the hair out of her face.

I jackknifed off the bed and walked to the bathroom, checking on Elias as I passed. He was sleeping, his eyes fluttering behind his lids. With the door eased closed behind me, I braced my hands on the counter and took a breath.

Screwing Kerrigan in a hotel room with my son just feet away was not a great idea. My dick didn’t agree but . . .

I’d kissed her twice tonight.

Both times, she’d kissed me back.

That was a damn good sign this might be moving in the right direction. If I could just have more time with her, we might get back to the place where we’d been, the place where the two of us had been so in sync that it was like we’d known each other for years, not days or weeks.

Another cry echoed from the main room and I hurried to fill two of the hotel’s glasses with some tap water. I opened the door, glasses in hand, ready to deliver one to Kerrigan and then collect my son. But as I stepped into the room, she was settling on the bed with Elias in her arms.

“Shh.” She cooed. “You’re all right.”

He squirmed and puckered up his face. I opened my mouth, ready to tell her that he probably needed to let out the burp he hadn’t after falling asleep with the bottle in his mouth, but there was no need.

Kerrigan hefted him up against her shoulder, patting his back like she’d done it a hundred times.

I stood there, my mouth agape, as she rocked back and forth. If I’d thought there was a sight more beautiful than her naked, then I’d been wrong. Totally fucking wrong. Because this, her sitting cross-legged on a motel bed with my son in her arms, was the most breathtaking sight I’d ever seen.

Her eyes met mine. “You’re staring.”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because I can.” Because I’d gone too long without her face.

Her cheeks flushed and she continued to rock Elias.

I moved to her side of the bed, setting down a glass, then bent to kiss her forehead before retreating to my side. The invisible boundary had returned, so I reached for the TV remote to take it off mute. “Want to watch something?”

“Sure.”

“Want me to take him?”

“No, I’ve got him.”

I grinned and hit the volume.

An hour into a movie on HBO, I got up to shut off the lights. As the credits rolled, Kerrigan shifted and laid Elias on the safari blanket still on the bed, keeping him between us.

And when she didn’t make a move to leave, I chose another movie.

A SUNBEAM STREAMING through the motel’s window warmed my face. I jolted awake, frantically scanning the room for my son as my heart raced. It should be dark, not light. He was overdue for a bottle. Something had to be wrong.

Except Elias was exactly where Kerrigan had laid him earlier, my son still asleep.

“He slept through the night,” Kerrigan whispered. Her hands were folded under her cheek on the pillow.

I breathed and pressed a hand to my racing heart. Then I glanced at the clock. It was past six. “He’s never slept this long.”

It had to be the sound of my voice because one moment he was out, the next his mouth turned down in a pout and his eyes blinked open.

I bolted off the bed for the bathroom to mix him a bottle. By the time I was shaking it up, he was crying, a sound that broke my heart every damn time.

“Here you go, pal.” I walked into the room, and like last night, Kerrigan had Elias in her arms.

She murmured to him, holding out one hand for the bottle.

When I handed it over, she gave it to him and my boy chugged.

“Easy.” She laughed.

His eyes were open wide now, his gaze fixed on her. Already under her spell.

“He’s got such expressive eyes,” she said.

“He does. My mom said mine were the same way at that age.”

Kerrigan took in such a long breath, it was like she was filling every piece of her lungs. Then it came out in a rush, and she breathed, “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“Were you mad at me when I kissed you last night?”

“Yes.”

“And through the movies?”

“Yep.”

“But not anymore.”

She shook her head. “No, but you’re on thin ice.”

“Then I’ll be on my best behavior.” I smiled so wide it pinched at my cheeks. “Go on a date with me. Today.”

“I can’t. Today is my grandma’s ninetieth birthday party. We’re having a big celebration at the community center. It’ll be exhausting and emotionally draining.”

“Then tonight.”

“I doubt I’ll be very good company.”

I sat on the edge of the bed. “Then what if I came to the party with you as your buffer?”

Her eyes widened. “Really? You’d go?”

“Sure. We have no plans today.” Other than chasing her.

“It’ll be awkward, that I can promise. My parents and sister and brother know about you. Actually, the entire town knows about you. Our argument on First was the favored headline with the rumor mill for nearly a month.”

I frowned. “Does your family know about the cabin? About us?”

She shook her head. “Only my sister and that’s just because she was there when you came to my place. But she never asked and I never shared. I doubt she mentioned anything to anyone else.”

So it was likely that her family simply knew me as the guy who’d nearly bankrupted her.

.

But eventually, I had to meet them. A party might be better if there was a crowd. Why not get it over with?

“Okay. We’re in.”