"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Evie shouted.
She covered herself with a towel, walking among the darkness of her living room. The curtains were closed because tonight she didn't want to see either the moon nor the curtain wall from her huge window. Moving through the shadows was always comfortable anyway. The light sometimes made her head hurt.
She was still a little shaky after having submerged herself in an ice tub, with bruises all over, just like in her old hunting days.
"Who is it?" Evie asked.
"Your boss perhaps?" She heard Zeth's voice.
"I can't open the door right now," Evie said with her hair dripping ice cold water.
"Evie, this is important."
She sighed.
There was no point in telling Zeth to leave.
She quickly turned on the light and checked her apartment, just to make sure everything was in order.
There was a pile of psychoanalysis books on the coffee table between her two grey couches in the middle of this blue-walled room. She was not in the mood to put them all in the bookcases when she arrived.
Surely Zeth would think this was a mess.
She was being a silly girl again, stressing about what her crush would think of her home. As if he hadn't been here a million times before.
"For the record, I warned you." And she immediately opened the door. He widened his eyes. "Hey! Don't look at me like that, you're the one who came unannounced."
Zeth raised both eyebrows.
Her jaw clenched.
There was silence.
"Why are you here?" She crossed her arms, still trembling.
"Goddamnit baby! Not another ice tub! I will get you a blanket or something," Zeth entered Evie's apartment without permission or warning, and slammed the door shut. He went straight to the wall where the thermostat control was, turning it up quickly, "Why are you still doing that?" He glared at her over his shoulder, walking toward her room.
"Hey, this is my home, I do what I want here and no, you are not allowed to enter my room."
"Too late!" Zeth said, opening Evie's closet, "And just so you know, the castle is technically mine, and Draco's but..."
"Semantics, yeah, you now sound like him," Evie rolled her eyes entering slowly to her room on her tip-toes, sitting on the edge of the bed while Zeth pulled out a neon blue blanket and placed it around her shoulders, "You even know where I keep my blankets."
"I know a lot about you," he replied, sitting down next to her, "And about your left leg... I'm sorry I mentioned it earlier."
"And I'm sorry for... You know," She was very uncomfortable now, not because of his presence, but because of her lack of words to say.
"Here," he said, handing her the heart-shaped sapphire earrings, "You forgot them in my room the last time we showered together."
"Oh! Thanks," She placed them carefully on her nightstand. "So, what are you doing here, boss?"
"I... I need to talk to you about something." Zeth frowned, looking uncomfortable. She looked at him suspiciously, biting her lip to keep from asking any questions.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Zeth shook his head vehemently.
"Finn told me what really happened. Or at least he told me what he thinks he saw. A truck, you grapple gun-ing away leaving the driver in shock..."
"I got hit by a truck, no big deal, really. I have been run over many times before, too many."
"When?"
"When I was a hunter," Evie replied.
"Evie... You're fired," Zeth said, looking down, and she tightened her hands on the blanket around herself.
"W-What?" She looked up, shocked, and her mind raced. It couldn't be true, "But... Why?! What do you mean?!"
"If you stay in this business, then you'll end up dead," Zeth explained. "I want to make sure you're safe. I know you can't die from conventional wounds, but I also know you feel pain, and that you're not immortal and you don't heal yourself the way Draco or I do."
"And where the hell am I going to go now?" Evie stood up, but held onto the blanket tightly. Zeth looked down, avoiding her gaze, and she grunted, "Fine! A woman like me, who never had a home and made her own anywhere, can surely find something. I won't be here in the morning."
"Don't put words in my mouth that I didn't say, woman." Zeth grunted, "I said you're fired, not that I would kick you out of here. This is your home, with us."
"Then why are you firing me?!"
"Because your place is with us, Evie! Alive! Not in a body bag! Your place now will be being our girlfriend living a luxurious life and traveling the world with us without having to babysit us!" Zeth yelled, jumping to his feet, "Don't you understand? Do you think I don't know what you're doing?!"
"What do you mean?! I am doing everything to keep you and your friends alive! I put myself at risk all the time and..." she nodded, looking away, "Yeah, I've just heard myself."
"Evie, you are a part of us, of each and every single one of us," Zeth put his hands on her cheeks, turning her head until their eyes met. "That means more than just being our Chief Bodyguard. That includes being with us as a friend, family, girlfriend, and we want you to be a part of that, to be with us and..."
"Really?" Evie scoffed. "Are you seriously going to talk about the poly relationship thing right now?"
"No. I am going to talk about how we all want you alive and healthy."
"And I will be, Zeth. You don't need to worry about that," she walked towards her closet, taking out a bathrobe and platform sandals, "All I ever wanted was to keep you safe."
"And you have done that, and much more," Zeth replied, but gasped when she let the blanket, and towel, fall to the floor. He looked away from her nude body instantly, and she chuckled.
"Zeth, come on. You've seen me naked before, and I've seen you naked before... On top of me," She said, and Zeth looked at her face, not even sparing a glance at her exposed body.
"I don't want to talk about it," Zeth kept looking into her eyes, and he didn't have any intentions of seeing anything else.
Evie laughed while she put on her bathrobe and sandals.
"Maybe, but you sing about that every night... Black Magic Nights? Isn't that song always on the track list?"
"You know every show is unique and we always sing different songs."
"But that one is always there, Zeth. And you know it," Evie crossed her arms, "And the release date? It was exactly the same day, but a year later, that you and I became lovers."
"Who told you that's what the song is about?" Zeth asked and she laughed.
"I'm not stupid, Zeth. The lyrics literally say 'We'll get naked 'round a hash bonfire. Let's dance with the devil one more time and never speak of our black magic nights' and I don't think you were talking about potatoes."
"And do you at least like the song?" Zeth asked, "Or do you want me to remove it from the track list?"
"I think it is a misguided dance stunt, out of place. It succeeds to dazzle. And you went overboard with the witch sounds in the background." Evie replied, "Covers well-worn-electro-pop territory, shows you unflappable vocal power, but it would work better as a rock song."
"Ouch," he laughed sarcastically, "Do you really think that?"
She sighed.
"No. I think it's an amazing song, a true classic, and it's the second best song from 'Stitched Together' and one of your most iconic songs too."
"I guess you regret it, and I mean our thing," Zeth sighed, "Maybe I gave you wings and then cut them off."
"Don't think you're so special. I always knew it would be just pleasure and no feelings. You said it."
"I do not recall telling you that," Zeth said quietly.
"Yes you did," Evie walked towards him, standing inches away from him, "I remember it perfectly. You said it would only be to release some stress from time to time, that I could call you and you could call me if we needed that and that we should keep it a secret because Frank was one of your best friends, and I agreed, saying that Frank and I were not together anymore, and we never would be."
"Well what an asshole I was. Best friend of the year, huh?" Zeth hated himself so much, but looked at her with narrowed eyes, taking a step forward until their noses almost touched, holding her hands in his. "Why did we do that, Evie?"
"It would be easier to say that we were drunk, but you don't drink and neither do I. It was all quite immoral," Evie looked up at him. He was so close to her, holding her hands, his face filled with some weird emotion she knew nothing about. She felt her heart pounding inside her chest, and he surely noticed how quickly it had sped up because her cheeks turned red. "The night I got your number and called you to meet, to talk about Frank and beg you to let me see him so I could apologise... You and I went to that bar to talk and I thought it would all be very innocent, that the worst thing that could happen was that you would yell at me, but no. The worst thing was ending up under the sheets with you. And I still had the guts to wake up the next morning smiling in your arms."
Zeth took a deep breath.
"We should stop talking about it," Zeth muttered, but didn't move from his spot.
"No! Please! Let me finish!" She begged. "You said... You said you didn't want me around Frank ever again, not after what I did, and then you gave me a chance to speak, and I just don't understand how we went from a passive aggressive conversation to..."
"Ending up in a motel," Zeth clenched his fists, "I am so sorry... If I hurt you, I am sorry. And I guess I should apologise to Frank too but... I am a coward."
"The next morning, I remember that you and I went into the shower, and we fell again into the same abyss, and that's when you decided to bring me to Lyonfort to talk to Frank and... You offered me to be your bodyguard and I just keep wondering if..."
"No, wait. Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say, woman," Zeth let go of her hands, "Oh Evie! Do you really think I hired you because you and I... Well damn! What kind of a man do you think I am?! You think you're my Chief Bodyguard because we're lovers?! Because the idea of you being our bodyguard was never mine. It was Frank's."
"What?"
"Yeah, it never crossed my mind," Zeth admitted, and he was smiling, "And I must admit he did right. You are the best bodyguard ever."
"I always thought it was your idea," Evie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I thought that, perhaps, it was the beginning of a new life, or the end of the previous one, one or the other, never both."
"Is this not a new enough life for you?" Zeth raised his eyebrow, caressing her cheek.
"I was stupid to think you hired me because of that night, I... I'm sorry I thought badly of you," she told him, lowering her gaze, "And I guess the decision to fire me was Frank's?"
"No, that's me," Zeth replied, his lips inches away from hers, "I'm the one to blame. I'm sorry. But my decision is final. I don't want to lose you."
"It's fine," Evie sighed, and then looked back up at him.
He was looking at her with regretful sapphire blue eyes, biting his lip, and then there was that look, the one they both knew well.
Complicity was the only word that could fit it.
"Oh fuck it," Zeth whispered.
"Yeah, fuck it," Evie replied.
And then they both put their arms around each other, and their lips crashed desperately.
They melted into the kiss.
He pulled her body to his, his arms wrapped around her waist, and she couldn't help the moan that escaped her throat. His tongue slipped inside her mouth, and she welcomed him in, feeling her heart beat wildly against her ribcage.
Zeth's body pressed against hers so warmly, so invitingly. Her hands ran through his hair. He placed his right hand on her cheek, and the left one on her hip, slowly lifting her bath robe up and making her gasp softly as he slid his tongue between her lips, tasting her.
Evie then slid her hands down, to the elastic waistband of his sweatpants, hooking her thumbs inside and pulling them down, taking them off completely and throwing them aside. Then she pulled his shirt off, and tossed it aside leaving him in his boxer briefs only.
Zeth was trembling.
He kissed her roughly, she kissed him back desperately, her fingers tracing his solid pecs, going lower to his abs with such tenderness he moaned against her lips and shuddered.
She grinned against his mouth, moving her fingers lower until they found the waistband of his underwear, sliding his boxer briefs downwards.
They fell at his feet.
Kissing her with hunger and desire, fighting for control of the kiss, Zeth fumbled to untie her bathrobe, and it fell to the floor.
"Make me yours again, Zeth," she begged, pressing her nude body against his. His warm hardness against her cold, soft navel made her squirm.
"Evie... Evie, wait." his eyes remained locked to hers, his breathing was heavy, "Evie... We can't do this."
"Because of Frank... I know." She rested her forehead on his, her face warming up with his breath, "And I understand."
Evie stared at his lips, glistening from the moisture of their kisses.
She reached out and touched his face. The moment her fingers brushed over his cheek, he shivered.
"I'm the worst man in the world for doing this to Frank," he cupped her face, his thumb running across her bottom lip before he stepped away, bending over to pick up his underwear.
"We can't keep doing this, Zeth." Evie said, putting her bathrobe back on, tying it tightly. "Not like this."
"But maybe..."
"I said no," she cut him off while he put his boxers back on.
"No, no... You don't understand..." Zeth walked over to her, and with his finger slowly made her look up, "Evie, a polyamorous relationship could save us from..."
"Zeth, no. Stop," she shook her head, tears forming in her eyes, "Please, stop. You don't even know if I want that!"
"Tell me, Evie... What do you want?"
"I want to love you all," she replied, "But I've made a thousand excuses to hide the truth of why I don't want to do it either."
"Well, I can tell," Zeth was really trying to stay calm and collected, "Frank loves you, but you evade him even when he has forgiven you. Draco loves you but you always reject him because you don't want to ruin his non-existent romance with Alex. Alex has asked you out a thousand times and you always say no. I mean... Have you seen the way Everett looks at you?! Or Finn? Fuck, Evie! Even though I'm here, desperate for you, all you do is shut me out!"
"I shut everyone out because I'm afraid of loving someone and watching them die!" Evie walked away, towards the window. The silence was painful now. But it didn't last long. "The night Alex had his heart attack, that's when I knew the only battle I could never win was against death."
"I know what you're feeling," Zeth said, "That's why I'm afraid to love someone too. I have lived longer than anyone else, I have seen many die, I have loved and lost, and I have taken refuge in work to ignore what I have ever felt for each person I have fallen in love with. I'm scared to see the vast majority of my band die, I'm scared to show what I feel, but Evie, we can..."
"We can try, but we will never defeat death," she replied dryly.
"You and I, and this clandestine romance or affair or whatever you call it... It's not right, you're absolutely right." Zeth picked up the rest of his clothes, slowly dressing himself as Evie sobbed silently, "But a polyamorous relationship is an option, and if you want to be a part of that..."
"Just go, Zeth," Evie whispered, not even turning to look at him.
"I won't fire you. You'll still be our Chief Bodyguard, if you want to be." he said, "But I warn you, if you play kamikaze again and stupidly put yourself in danger, I won't give you a choice, in case you survive."
Then she heard her bedroom door close, and she finally collapsed to her knees, sobbing loudly, her shoulders shaking and her body in utter pain.
No. This would not be the way she would fall.
Not again.
"Keep it together, Evie," she whispered to herself after taking a few deep breaths, then stood up, tightening the knot of her robe and walking to the bathroom. "You did not die from bullets, and you will not die today from a broken heart that you yourself broke."
This obsession, this desire to be with the boys in an intimate way, the desire to form a family with them, to shout to the world that they were more than just an employee and a boss... It had to stop.
"Fuck you Frank, fuck you Draco, fuck you Alex, fuck you Finn, fuck you Everett and Fuck You Zeth," she cursed as she turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on her face, trying to cool herself down, "And fuck you, Evie, for being so damn stubborn."
Was this her fault? Or were the boys to blame?
Zeth had offered her a chance to love everyone in the band, and she would have loved to be a part of that but... Fuck! She couldn't get over this fear anymore. Visiting Paul, and the fear in his eyes of losing the one he loves most, that was what made her so self-aware of the fragility of life and mortality right now.
There was a knock at the door, and after looking in the bathroom mirror, Evie wiped away her tears and walked to her living room, trying to hide her emotions as usual just to open the door.
"Zeth," she groaned, "I told you to... Oh! Hi!"
"Hey, Evie." Frank was there, rubbing his hands nervously, evading eye contact, "I... Came over to see if you were okay... I mean, I heard Finn saying something about an accident." He blushed, "Ummm... You're only wearing a bathrobe so, I guess I better leave."
"No, no. It's okay," she pursed her lips, "I'm glad to see you here."
"I am here too," Draco said, poking his head from behind Frank, waving effusively.
"And I am here too, mamacita," Alex was walking down the hall with a hand up, and Everett was just behind him, growling.
"Hey! Why didn't you wait for me?!" Finn came running quickly after them.
"Guys, I'm... Fine," Evie nodded.
"Yeah, everything's perfect," Evie heard Zeth say.
Turning around, she saw him sitting in one of her grey couches, reading one of her books.
Oh fuck. Did he hear her curse them all?
Probably.
How embarrassing.
"You never left?" Evie asked and Zeth shook his head, turning a page.
"I wasn't going to leave you alone with your thoughts, I just left the room so you could calm down." Zeth laughed, "It'll take more than a tantrum for me to give up."
"Tantrum? Calm down?" Frank raised an eyebrow, "What happened here?"
"Frank, Draco, Alex," Evie stepped aside with an open arm, "Finn, Everett... I don't know if you want to come in or something but, make yourselves at home I guess."
"Why are you here, Zeth?" Frank asked as he and the guys walked into the room. Zeth half-shut his eyes, looking straight at Evie, who was already biting her lip.
"Evie has been up all night, so I asked her not to report to work until it's show time. That's why I am here." Zeth said, a total lie. "And I also came to talk about a couple of personal things."
"About the poly relationship?" Alex asked. Evie gulped.
"Personal stuff means it's between her and me," Zeth looked into her eyes, "And I also came to ask you a favour, Evie."
"Are you going to ask her to be Jade's bodyguard tomorrow?" Frank asked as he sat down on one of the couches, right between Alex and Everett.
"Yeah, that's exactly it," Evie whispered, closing the door once everyone was inside, "I think it will be good for this 'Jade' and I to get to know each other better."
"I'm glad you want to meet Jade, she's fantastic!" Draco said, sitting next to Zeth on the couch, and soon, Finn sat next to the vampire.
"Guys I... I have to confess something," Evie whispered, looking at Zeth, "I know I've rejected all of you, over and over again but... I just... I'm sorry."
Evie looked up at the sound of Frank's voice.
"Don't worry about it." he said, with his bionic hand sparking a little.
"Yeah, we get it, Evie." Everett smiled sadly and rubbed his shoulder, "We know you might not be ready to mate."
"Awful word choice," Finn whispered.
"Hey, I understand if we're a pain in the ass sometimes," Alex said with his hands behind his head. "And I admit that I may have flirted with you more than once and it was inappropriate."
"We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Evie," Draco said with his cute little eyes downcast, "It wasn't intentional. We just wanted you to understand how happy we are whenever you are around."
"And we're not going to push the poly thing, okay?" Finn gave her a thumbs up.
"Unless you want to tell us something to change all that?" Zeth closed the book he was reading quickly.
"Seriously?" Evie took a deep breath and started laughing, more out of hysteria than joy. "Oh guys! Guys, I have never felt uncomfortable! And I would love to talk about this with you, but right now, I need some sleep."
She really wasn't sure if this was the right moment.
She didn't feel ready to let go of the fear of loving and losing yet.
"We were leaving anyway," Zeth stood up with a grunt, dropping the book on the coffee table, "Guys, come on, we still have a long night ahead of us."
"Sweet dreams, Evie," Draco said, and blew her a huge kiss with both hands, "See you in the morning!"
"Sleep tight, beautiful," Alex winked.
"See you later," Finn waved, Everett just nodded goodbye.
"I hope you'll consider the option, Evie," Frank whispered and she nodded, "Hey, will you be free tomorrow night?"
"I guess so. It'll depend on the show," Evie said, "Why?"
"Oh! Just to be sure, I guess." Frank bit his lip, "Anyway. Good luck tomorrow with Jade."
"Don't make too many plans yet, Frank. We don't know how long it will take to put together this little show you put on our schedules out of the blue," Zeth said, and as the boys walked out of the apartment, he approached Evie, whispering something in her ear... "You can lie to yourself all you want and even delay the inevitable, but you and I both know what your heart really wants."
"Good night, Boss," she whispered in an annoyed tone.
"You know, I would never force you to do anything, not to be with us, not to get away from us," Zeth patted her on the shoulder, Then he turned to see the rest of the group already several feet away in the hallway. "You deserve more than just fantasizing because you are afraid, Evie. Sleep well."
"Zeth," she whispered before closing the door, "I love you."
"I love you too, Baby," he winked.