Evie couldn't be happier. Jade and Kasey got along just perfectly against all odds.
They had been singing Monster Mash songs since they had left Lyonfort with the radio blaring, acting like teenagers in the backseat of the blue Camaro.
The volume was so loud that the car windows vibrated with the sound of this strutting, brass-laden pop anthem with a very obvious military sound mixed with cats hissing and meowing.
"I have nine lives just... I have nine lives just... I have nine lives just like a cat! Sing with me, Angry Blonde!" Jade said, using one of the batons Evie had given her as a microphone.
"I have nine lives just... I have nine lives just... I have nine lives just like a cat!" Kasey sang at the top of her lungs, and Evie was surprised that she knew the lyrics to this song. "I'll survive. Uh, hu. Hey! Eh! Eh-eh! Eh! Eh! Eh-eh! Uh, huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You sing, girl!" Kasey said, handing the baton back to Jade, who began singing even louder and, honestly, horrible.
"I did something bad but, baby... What is life without some danger? Dangeeeer!" Jade started doing a pseudo-sensual dance that had Kasey dying of laughter, even slapping her own thigh with tears in her eyes, "Hit it, Angry Blonde! Sing Finn's part!"
"Yeah! YEAH! OOOOHH-Oooh Oooh-Ooooh Woohoo!" Kasey sang and Evie was quite surprised at how easily she hit each and every whistle note. Singing Finn's parts was a nightmare, but here she was, blonde and carefree singing like it was no big deal, "I'LL LAND ON MY FEET! I'LL LAND ON MY FEET! Yeah! Yeah! Oh YEAH! YEAH!" Kasey was completely letting herself go. "Oooohh! I'LL LAAAND ON MY FEET-HEY-YEAH-HEEEEY-YEAH-HEY! Woah-oh! Woah-oh! Woah-oh! Woah-oh! LIKE A CA-A-AT!" Kasey finished the song and both girls laughed and bounced on their seats, as if they were close friends.
"It's not Monster Mash's deepest song," BC-13 muttered from the passenger seat.
"Bravo!" Evie said, clapping a little.
"Thank you, thank you. I teach on Saturdays," Kasey said with a cocky grin, "I have to admit I like the style of this new album. What's it's name?"
"Neon Wights," Evie replied. "The album is not yet released in its entirety."
"Well, I love it!"
"Please, no more," BC-13 already had a headache, one look was enough to know, "I preferred them a few hours ago when they were killing each other over Zeth!"
"For our next song... 'Hunter In Disguise' so, put it on replay, Evie!" Kasey ordered and Evie replied with a salute.
"As you wish, boss!" Evie played the song and both Kasey and Jade started screaming like this was a concert. BC-13 had already lost his left ear twelve songs ago.
"Could you please pick another one?" BC-13 said, "That's the boys' second most shouty song and that's saying something!"
"Hey BC-13. Remember how I told you to take the back seat?" laughed Evie, driving slowly behind the Monster Mash tour bus, "It's a good thing you didn't listen to me."
"We should have put your fake-sister in the trunk," BC-13 rolled his eyes and Evie nudged him.
Kasey and Jade soon began to sing.
"Pack your guns and say goodbye! 'Cause I don't wanna die tonight! I'm so sick of your lies! âCause youâre a hunter in disguise!" Kasey and Jade shared a laugh, "Didn't know my life was on the line. Were your love songs little white lies? Never thought true love could be weaponized." Kasey handed BC-13 the baton, "Hit it, boy!"
"A kisser and a killer? What a double life." But BC-13 poked it gently.
"You are such a party pooper," Kasey took back the baton and Jade laughed, "This is how you sing, Mr. Fancy Pants... You play pre-teeend! Acting's easy for you, child's play! When will this eeend? No one is safe from your hunting game! Hit it, Evie!"
"Did you... Need to make me feel like prey? What was real and what was fake?" Evie sang loud, and BC-13 started banging his head against the window glass. "You had... Weapons and gadgets AND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT NAAAMES!"
"Evie! For fucks sake! Eyes on the road!" BC-13 shouted, "God! We're going to die! Don't you know what road safety is?!"
But Evie kept singing...
"Don't say it's lo-oh-Oh-OOOHHH! Oh! LOVE! I can't fall for someone I don't kno-oh-Oh-OOOHHH! Oh! KNOW! So now! PACK YOUR GUNS AND SAY GOODBYE! 'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA DIE TONIGHT! I'm so sick of your lies! So leave before you stab my ba-ah-Ah-AAAHHH! Ah! BAAACK!" Evie sang loud, as happy as she never had felt, "I'm done and I don't want you ba-ah-Ah-AAAHHH! Ah! BAAACK! 'Cause you're a hunter in disguise."
"Please, Evie! It's not right to not pay attention to the road! Please!" BC-13 smashed his head against the glass over and over again, then lowered his window, and began to yell, "Help! Someone! I'm a victim of auditory torture!"
"Oh please!" Jade tapped the boy on the shoulder, "It's an amazing song!"
"I agree. The voices, the drum and bass and the catchy guitar loop are to die for, and it was a nice touch that the guys added the sound of a grapple gun and gunshots here and there, but the three of you sing horrible!" BC-13 replied.
Evie laughed.
Oh! This was quite a family road trip!
It was nice.
They had left Hallow Woods behind a couple hours ago, and for half an hour the enormous city of Phantown had been left behind. Now they were in a deserted place, there was only grass everywhere and a single paved road.
They hadn't stopped at a rest stop to have snacks or drink something to cool off after their long trip from Lyonfort but Evie did not mind at all.
They'd been on the road since sunrise and she loved it.
"I thought your sister didn't like this band or their music," BC-13 covered his ears and Evie laughed.
"Never underestimate Monster Mash."
After some loud ten minutes, Evie finally saw the Tour Bus pulling into a parking lot, and she followed it.
"Girls, I don't want to interrupt the concert," Evie then stopped her car, "But we're here."
"Well then what are we waiting for?" said Kasey, reaching for the door handle from behind, kicking BC-13's seat, "Come on, Mr. Ball-Squeezing-Fancy-Pants! Get out of the way! I want to get out!"
"I have a feeling you and Alex are going to be very good friends, Kasey," Evie looked at her fake-sister through the rear-view mirror with a smile.
It was good to have her back.
"So this is the place?" BC-13 asked, stretching a little once out of the blue Camaro, "I don't think it complies with sanitation rules, and it looks like it's going to collapse."
The place was a single-story building with weather-beaten walls. It was painted yellow, but it had worn out. Tall grass surrounded the car park and there was a sign with the words 'Teddy Fuzzbear's Pizza' on it.
"Charming! Love the shithole-diner aesthetic," Kasey said, closing the door of the Camaro. The air was fresh and the sun shone grey against her skin.
The Tour Bus rocked a little, there were grunts that made Evie, Kasey, Jade and BC-13 turn, and then the door burst open.
"At long last!" Draco got out of the tour bus and ran towards the old building, arms wide open, hugging the corner of the restaurant, "Oh! It's like a dream come true!" and then he started kissing the wall.
"Draco, don't do anything stupid," Alex said, getting off the bus. Behind him came Paul, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
"What's that hottie doing here?" Kasey asked. Paul waved sleepily.
"Zeth asked him to come because, first, he was the only one who could talk to you without you wanting to kill him and second, because we need his powers to film quickly," Evie said, looking at her phone. But then she looked up, "Wait. Did you call Paul a 'hottie' or was it my idea?"
"Oh come on, Evie!" Kasey rolled her eyes, "Paul's almost as handsome as the Ken Doll."
Frank, Finn and Everett came out of the tour bus slowly.
"We came all the way here for this?" Frank raised an eyebrow, "We could have filmed in the diner where my mum used to work and no one would have noticed!"
"I feel like someone is going to kill me in there," Finn gulped, "Or that we'll find a body in a bag."
"I like this horrendous place," Everett inhaled deeply, "It's quiet, in middle of nowhere. There will definitely be corpse inside."
"Where's the Ken Doll?" Kasey asked and Jade rolled her eyes, pointing with a finger, "Hmm. He's not even paying attention to anything."
"Sure, talk to the manager of my hotel later and tell him I want champagne, not wine," Zeth got out of the bus talking on the phone, with Egor at his side holding up a clipboard. Zeth signed the paper his assistant was holding for him, and then hung up the phone. "Okay guys, everyone line up like at school and... Draco! Stop dry humping the wall!"
"I hope the shootings doesn't take too long," BC-13 stood next to Evie. She looked over her shoulder at her fake-sister once. there were no signs of her trying to escape. Oh! Paul had really changed her! "You okay, Evie?"
She nodded without saying anything, staring at the place. So this was what Draco had dreamed of seeing?
It did suit him though.
"Shall we go in now?" Draco asked, pulling at the doors desperately, "Come on! Let me in! Let! Me! In!"
"Relax, Animaniac," Zeth pushed him off the double doors gently, "There might be people inside. And the door opens inward," He pushed the doors open and Draco went in ahead of them, laughing like crazy. He was almost cartoonish, like a child in a toy store, "Okay guys! Line up and go in after me. And remember, if Draco breaks something, we'll fix it so that when someone else touches it, they'll be to blame. We can't waste any more money on our little Animaniac's nonsense."
Everyone followed Zeth inside, looking for a staff member.
Evie tried not to stare too much at the posters on the walls.
The place was gloomy. The tables were stacked, the walls were yellow, and there were no animatronics on the stage.
There wasn't any light either, and it made the whole building feel eerie.
"Hello!" A man in a purple suit approached them with big grins plastered all over his face, "Welcome to Teddy Fuzzbear's Pizza. My name is William. You must be Monster Mash."
"Uh..." Frank cleared his throat, "Yeah... We are."
"Yeah, um, we're here to film a music video?" Finn looked around. "And hope we don't die while doing it, maybe?"
"They told me there are contracts to read," Zeth said, and Egor behind him gave him another document to sign, "My hand is going to fall off at this point."
"My face is going to fall off if I don't sleep two more hours," Paul said, yawning and scratching his butt.
"I told you to get some sleep on our way here, Paul," Zeth said.
"I slept a little but it wasn't enough," Paul yawned again.
"Do you want to go to sleep and..."
"No, Zeth. I'll be professional. You asked me to come to help you with the filming and that's what I will do." Paul shook his head, "I'll be fine."
"Well then. We'll film our separate scenes first so Paul can go to sleep," Zeth told the man in purple, who nodded.
"Of course. The cameramen will be ready in ten minutes," William said.
"Yes. I need you all to sign a non-disclosure agreement," Zeth said, "Paul has skills that will help us film quickly and I don't want anything to be known when we leave."
"Sure. You will also be required to sign similar contracts in case you go missing, get hurt or killed while filming here. We will not be held responsible for any damages." William nodded. "Does anyone have any questions before we start?"
"Where do you hide bodies?" Everett looked around.
"Oh! OH! The rabbit man hid the bodies in the animatronics, Big Guy... Oh God! They have everything here! Even the Pirate Cove! I love this place!" Draco was running from left to right, "Oh! OH! WOAAAAH! The stage is just like in the video game! But where are the Animatronics? Where are they? WHERE?! I want a picture with them!" And then he backflipped, "God! This is great! I am going to faint. Yes, I'm going to faint. Please someone catch me if I faint! Oh! WOAAAAH! GUYS! Guys, look! Look!" Draco then bent down to pick something up from the floor, "Look! I've found a glass eye! And it's brown! I'm going to keep it."
"Creepy, abandoned... Seems like a good place to bring a girlfriend," Alex wiggled his eyebrows at Jade, "Don't you think?"
"I want to think it's safe and healthy to film here," BC-13 said, "But I don't think a health inspector has been here in years. And if any ever came, they probably didn't come out alive. There must be enough dust and germs to kill a thousand pop bands!"
"Monster Mash, follow me," William smiled, walking towards a booth, "Let's take a look at your contracts. Then we'll start rolling."
After reading and signing the contracts, the man in purple gave the guys some information about the company and offered to give them short tour of the premises.
Draco accepted and everyone agreed to let him live his dream.
"Jade, come with us!" Draco waved effusively, "You're a fan too!"
"Oh! I don't think I should..."
"Come on, go with them," Evie winked, "BC-13, Kasey and I will make sure there are no murderous waiters around here."
"Thanks, Evie," Jade nodded, and then rushed to catch up with the guys who were already walking down a long hallway to the left.
"Hey Everett," Jade said once she reached the group, and the Yeti just nodded at her...
It felt like years since they had talked.
"J-Jade," Had Everett stuttered?
"Oh! What's up, Big Guy?" Jade asked.
"I'd like to talk to you privately when we get out of here," Everett said as William showed the guys ahead of them the security guard's office. It was a square, blue room, almost empty except for a couple of tables and many turned-off monitors.
"Sure, I'd like to be alone with you," She bit her lip and looked down.
"Jade, I'd like to know something," Everett said as William showed the other guys the parts and service room. There were quite a few props and costumes lying around, pieces of metal scattered on the floor, some power tools too, "Frank told me in locker room at strip club that it was good idea to ask you out."
She smiled at him.
"Of course I will go on a date with you, Big Guy," She took his huge hand in hers, "You're such a sweetheart..."
He shook his head lightly.
"No, I'm not sweetheart, Jade. And this is very important to me because I want to have perfect date with most special girl in world."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just worried that maybe I'm not... Social enough," Everett, giant and muscular Everett, looked much smaller now that he was acting nervous and blushing, "I guess I'm not very romantic and I need some lessons to understand romance."
"And you want me to go on a perfect date you don't know how to pull off?" Jade looked confused.
"It's just that I am monster in love," Everett sighed, "But I don't want to be cold and distant Yeti I always am with special girl, but I don't know how to be more... Loving. I don't understand many things. Am I too cold? Because I can change! I've been practicing social skills to be better boyfriend!"
That melted her heart.
"Oh Everett," she stopped in the middle of a dark hallway, looking into his eyes, "Everett, you are amazing. You are kind and caring. I couldn't ask for anyone better than you. You're handsome, strong, funny and you're really thoughtful. I like spending time with you."
"Jade, I prepared Test Poem for you to listen," he took her small hand in his huge one, then put a knee on the floor to be eye level with her and cleared his throat, "Dear Jade. I remember every detail of night I first saw you lying like squashed spider on bed in suite," he moved a strand of her hair from her face to see her smile better. She was not smiling though. Maybe he should add a more poetic tone? Yes, perhaps he didn't sound entirely honest, that must be what had her looking at him with a constipation face now, "Oh dear Jade! OH! oH dEaR JaDe! You clumsy mountain goat! I remember looking for first time into your drunken piglet eyes and thinking... Oh! She's so scrawny and her hair is horrible! Oh! Poor ugly thing! She must be teased all time for being so..."
"You're not being very romantic," she frowned.
"But I was trying to say that inside is what matters," he said, cocking his head, "Now, do you think I'm romantic? I think it's pretty clear that I am."
"I... I feel many things right now, but I can't feel anything that can be remotely romantic and... Why did everyone suddenly shut up?" Jade looked around.
There was no sound. Quite literally.
"Oh Jesus," Jade gulped, "Everett?"
"Yes, Jade?" he asked and she pointed forward.
Everett rose up and turned to see William gaping, and all the boys in the band making uncomfortable faces.
"You were listening, right?" Jade closed her eyes tightly and everyone replied...
"Yeah." in unison.
"And what do you think?" Everett asked, giving a thumbs up, "Test Poem was cute, right?"
"You've become quite the Don Juan," Alex said, rolling his eyes.
"You have an impressive memory, Frostakov, and you didn't memorize any of the predetermined phrases I gave you for your test date on our way here, right?" Zeth closed his eyes in frustration, blindly signing a document that Egor was holding for him.
"Why do you put the word 'Test' right in front of the word 'Date' anyway? A date is a date!" Jade shouted.
"I did memorize it, but I sounded too much like you, Zeth," Everett said, turning to face Jade, "I preferred to be original. Frank told me that being honest was important."
"Did you tell Everett that being honest was a good idea?!" Finn nudged Frank, "Better give him a hammer and tell him to hit Jade on the head! That would hurt less!"
"I know! I know! My mistake!" Frank closed his eyes tightly, putting two fingers on the bridge of his nose. "I didn't realise the magnitude of my advice until I heard the part about the squashed spider and the drunken piglet eyes."
"I wonder if it's because of that brutal honesty that Everett is the favourite of all those Masher Mums?" Finn frowned.
"No. It's because he's cute and looks like a giant, murderer teddy bear," Draco put his hands on his cheeks, "Hey! Speaking of bears! Where's Teddy Fuzzbear?!"
"O-Over here," William said, leading the boys down the hallway, but Everett and Jade stayed where they were.
"Guys, am I really awake or is the world around me an illusion?" Paul staggered but managed to follow them, "Because I feel like my life is nothing more than a Wattpad book and that I'm going to be an important character in the future."
"Jade." Everett said, holding her forearm before she could walk away, "Sorry, I didn't mean anything hurtful... I just..."
"Everett, I'm not angry," she replied, "I actually liked the intent, although not the words very much."
"Jade, I'm not emotional Yeti, nor do I understand people very much, but I know one thing... I'm logical Yeti, and my logic tells me that I..."
"You what?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, first. Would you go on test date with me?"
"Yes I would," She smiled, "And please, instead of 'test date' just say 'Date' okay? Just Date."
"Okay," he gulped, "Well... I just wanted to say that I think I..."
"Say it," She nodded eagerly, "Say it please!"
"I think I have strong feeling of affection for very special girl and I want to know what you think of Just Date after it is over," he said, quietly, blushing deeply.
"It's the most complicated 'I love you' I've ever heard in my life," her eyelids fluttered and she could hear her own heartbeat thudding rapidly in her chest. He smiled at her awkwardly, his ice blue eyes sparkling in a deep gaze. "So tell me, what do you think of your 'special girl' Everett?"
"Well... Every little detail of night we met will stay with me forever. I always live in my memories and that's why I seem little absent, but nothing compares to having love in my present. My heart was hard and cold like life, but one day, angel knocked on my door, brought by seductive alpha male, and all ice in me melted until I drowned in need to love like no one had ever hurt me before. Perfect, beautiful, that was her, the girl who managed to climb mountain and put her blue flag on top of my heart. I didn't know I was naked in blizzard until she smiled and brought spring to me with awakening of her new and majestic self."
Jade was transfixed, enthralled. Did he really think she was an angel? Like, the part about Alex being a 'Seductive Alpha' sounded a little gay, but to each his own. And that part where he mentioned how he saw her wake up in bed, just wow! She thought Everett didn't want her here but it turns out waking up changed his life? That was amazing!
"That was beautiful. Why didn't you do that right from the start?" Her voice sounded shaky, "Oh Everett! Any girl would be crazy to date you after hearing that!"
"Thank you," he answered, and he smiled at her again, "Do you want to go on Just Date with me after we are done filming?"
"I would love to go on a date with you, Everett," She whispered.
"Jade, I..."
"But what the hell is this? Costumes?! The animatronics are costumes?!" Draco shouted in a room down the hall, way too offended, "I came here for animatronics! And you tell me that you will only give me people in costumes?! This is a scam!"