"What did I miss?" Draco followed Frank into the living room, taking wide strides with his huge Goth boots. He swung his arms while he walked, "What are you reading, Alex?"
"Just a bad summary of our history and our vocal ranges, Draquito," said Alex, handing the tablet over to Frank, who looked overly excited, curious as always, "She didn't even mention that we wanted to kill each other when it all started."
"The author of this story used an article to tell readers a summary of our story?" Draco asked, "Wow! That's lazy writing!"
"Actually, there's more... I'll read," Frank said and cleared his throat. "We will start with the most famous face of the group: Zeth Rahman."
"Wait! Let me get comfortable to hear the wonders the article will say about me!" Zeth said, placing his hands behind his neck, sinking back into the couch with his eyes closed and a wide grin. At least this made him put his job aside, "Okay, now read it for me."
"There is a great deal of raw power in Zeth's raspy voice." Frank continued, "He is definitely the powerhouse of Monster Mash. His versatile range allows him to move seamlessly from the quiet passion of a tender ballad, to the near growl of aggressive rock vocals. He is a master of belting and fine harmonies. He is a total performer, equally at ease when singing, dancing or speaking directly to the audience, but still has his own issues with his arrogance."
"What?!" Zeth's sapphire eyes snapped open, and he sat up straighter, his face twisted into a furious expression. "Arrogance?! She dared call me arrogant?!"
"Maybe she means you're very vain?" Finn asked, "I mean, you're always front and centre in photos and interviews and concerts and even when we're walking down the street."
"Obviously!" Zeth replied, "You guys chose me as the leader of the band! It's not arrogance, it's just..."
"Ah Chingá, Chingá! And when exactly did the voting take place?" Alex crossed his arms, and Zeth dismissed with a hand.
"It was implied that I was to be the leader."
"I was the leader of the football team you know?" Alex raised an eyebrow, "And I was almost always the leader in all the school sports and projects. Why can't I be the leader?"
"I beg your bloody pardon?!" Zeth frowned.
"I mean, everyone assumes you're the leader, Zeth. Even the article says that," Alex flexed his biceps, wiggling his eyebrows, "But look at me. I'm an Alpha."
"Any man who must say he is an Alpha is no true Alpha," Zeth replied, "But if you want to be the leader, of course. I suppose you'll be more than capable of being the manager, singer, marketing team, and PR all in one."
"I said I'm an alpha, not a workaholic," Alex grumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Well, I think that article was not wrong then." Zeth smirked, almost mockingly. "Besides, I think being the heartthrob suits you well."
"Zeth's right, as always," Finn said, blushing a little. "He is the one who always solves all the problems, and does almost everything that an entire team should do. And he's always the one who sings the loudest."
"Give yourself more credit, Seamons, you sing louder and higher than I do, but indeed, I'm always right. Thank you, handsome," Zeth snapped his fingers and pointed at Finn, who blushed even brighter, "What can I say? I'm a very capable man."
"Hey, can I continue?" Frank asked, and Zeth nodded. "Good. Thank you! Where was I? Right! Oh! It mentions you too, Draco! It says... The funniest, most spontaneous, most adorable and joyful member of the group is Draco, whose desire to connect with the audience consistently shines by giving various fans in the audience a smile, a wave or high fives."
"I already love this article!" Draco began to hop around until Alex put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Come on! Read on! Read on, Frank! Read on!"
"Despite being a master of falsetto, Draco has an average 'pop' voice," Frank went on. "And it would be generic if it weren't for his ability to perform vocal acrobatics, which is key to the rebellious and care-free sound of Monster Mash. Draco has easily become the most notable trademark of the band more in image than in vocal power though."
"Am I... Average?" Draco asked, dropping his shoulders, his smile suddenly fading. He even pouted.
"There is nothing average about you, Draquito," Alex said, messing the vampire's scarlet hair a little. "And without you, our concerts wouldn't be as fun."
"Really?" Draco smiled widely, with marble-white fangs.
"You're like an Animaniac on stage," Finn said with a light laugh escaping his mouth, "You're the one who always makes the audience get crazy."
"Oh yeah! I'm their favourite!" Draco puffed out his chest with his hands on his waist.
"We all know I'm the fan favourite," Zeth crossed his arms and stood up, graceful as ever. "I mean, you all are great, but I'm the one with the most style... And I think we can all agree that I'm the most handsome."
"We are all handsome, Zeth," Alex put his hands behind his head and flexed his biceps, "And smoking hot too."
"I would never deny that," Zeth inspected his nails. "But I'm the most handsome, period."
"Shit. Guys!" Frank then gasped, "This woman wrote about me too! It says... Frank has an extensive chest voice and falsetto register. His powerful and melismatic sound lends itself to smooth as silk harmonies. Frank puts his heart and soul into every song and balances the sound, however..."
"Frank, maybe you should stop reading," Finn said with a worried face, but his friend ignored him.
"Hold up... What? Frank struggles with... Breath control? And he always sounds like he's whining when he sings?" Frank looked up and pouted, swallowing hard. "Do I sound that bad? Do I really run out of breath that much? Oh Jesus! I should quit smoking! I mean, I do smoke a lot but... Damn! I should have stopped reading. Why didn't anyone tell me to stop reading?! Now I'm going to overthink all night!"
Finn sighed.
"That's not true," Draco frowned, "You don't have any struggle with breath control, Frank. You just lose your breath in the final choruses." Draco finished with a huge fanged smile.
There was an awkward silence afterwards.
"That's exactly what 'struggle with breath control' means!" Frank threw his hands up, and Draco just pursed his lips and looked away.
"Let me take a look at that article," Zeth extended a hand and Frank handed him the tablet, "All this is already putting me in a bad mood, you know?"
"Does it say something about me?" Finn asked, then he drank an entire bottle of water in one go.
Annoyed and grumbling, Zeth cleared his throat to read.
"The best way to describe Finn is as an emotional singer. He pulls from deep within himself, giving all he has to give. Finn has incredible vocal endurance and power, able to fire top notes back-to-back with resonance and phenomenal usage of vibrato. He can sustain these upper belts for extended amounts of time, even while dancing. His high notes and vocal skills are impressive, and he almost always belts F5 or above. However..." Zeth made a pause, gritted his teeth and continued, "Finn sometimes crosses the line between singing and yelling by getting carried away by his emotions, though it is never painful to the ears."
"Yelling?" Draco raised his eyebrows, "What is she talking about? Finn speaks so quietly that we never hear him!"
"Well, I admit that when I sing, sometimes my emotions and my desperation to be heard..." Finn began, but Draco interrupted him again.
"Guys! This is so wrong!" Draco paced in circles, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's all our fault! It's probably because Finn is desperate to be heard!"
"That's what I just said," Finn huffed.
"Finn is an artist in every sense of the word, underrated but extremely talented," Zeth continued reading, "His only fatal mistake is always living in the shadow of his peers."
"Living in your shadows... Not the first time I've heard that," Finn looked down and sighed.
"This is unacceptable!" Zeth yelled, "Frank, Draco, Seamons, don't pay attention to this garbage! She'll see! I'm going to sue her! I mean, how dare she say that Draco is average? Nobody messes with Draco!"
"I don't really care that much," Draco said but Zeth was already pacing left and right with a finger on his chin.
"How dare she say that Frank can't sing?!" Zeth threw his hands up.
"Umm, Zeth? She didn't quite write that," Frank raised an eyebrow.
"How dare she say Finn just screams?! That's not true!" Zeth stomped his foot.
"Umm, Zeth, she didn't write that." Finn scratched his head.
"And she called me arrogant! I'm not arrogant! It's not my fault I was born perfect!"
"I don't think you're arrogant, Zeth," Draco said with a huge smile, "You're just bossy."
"And a bit of a control freak," said Alex.
"And a bit vain too," Finn whispered, "But it suits you."
"And a bit obsessive about details," Frank said.
"The devil is in the details," Zeth replied, "No! This article is irreparable moral damage! You all have talent! You were all born to be stars! You are all under my protection! You are all my family! Nobody messes with my family! Guys. I swear, I swear I will make sure she..."
"Hey! Hey! Zeth!" Alex snapped, patting his friend on the shoulder, stopping his frantic pacing, "Relax for fucks sake!"
"I can't relax!" Zeth was furious, and it was almost impossible to make him lose his sanity like this.
"Okay, Zeth. Hear me out," Alex said, "Yeah, she wrote that article, so what? It won't change anything, right? So! What will you do?"
"I will sue her," Zeth replied, "I will sue the fuck out of her!"
"No, no. You, my friend, will take the high road." Alex insisted, "Say it with me... Take. The. High..."
"Sue. Her." Zeth insisted.
"Ooookay. A ver, a ver, vamos a bajarle tres rayas para no subirle a cuatro," Alex said, in the most reasonable voice he could, "Remember, those who can't sing, teach. And those who can't teach, become critics."
"So you don't care about what she wrote about you, Alfaro?" Zeth raised the tablet.
"Of course not! I..." Alex tried to remain calm, but from one second to the next, his emotions took over. "Fine! Let me read that!" Alex snatched the tablet from Zeth, proceeding to read aloud. "Alycandro is handsome and flirts bilingually. He has a distinctive voice with a very sultry, sometimes operatic sound, but what good is it for this boy to have a great voice if he believes that singing is just flirting with rhythm or shouting with style?"
"Ouch," Finn frowned. Alex huffed but kept on reading.
"From the lows to the top, Alycandro retains a great masculine quality, but by not exploiting the potential of his riffs and runs, he falls short compared to the rest of the group. However, he obviously knows how to work an audience, and he always does so with genuine enthusiasm." Alex lowered the tablet. "What?! Is that supposed to be a compliment?!"
"What were you saying about relaxing, Alfaro?" Zeth asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow and smiling. "Who doesn't sing gets critical? That I shouldn't take it seriously?"
"That woman is going to pay dearly for that article she wrote!" Alex yelled, the veins in his neck and temples popping out and his ears becoming more and more pointed.
At this rate, there would be a huge bipedal wolf destroying the entire suite in a few seconds.
"Okay, Alex..." Frank tried to keep up with him as he paced back and forth with the device in his increasingly hairy hand, "You are squeezing my tablet too much. I just bought this one, and you've already broken four."
"In fact, the fourth one was me," Draco admitted and hung his head. Frank gave him a strange look and Draco nodded with red cheeks. Who could get angry when he made his cute, repentant puppy eyes? "Yeah, well... Turns out it's not a good idea to play Angry Bats hanging from the ceiling... Ãmi pare rÄu."
"Could you give me my... Ouch!" Frank gasped when Alex smashed the tablet into his chest, grumbling and growling with his nails turning into long black razors.
"Flirting with rhythm?" Alex's teeth began to sharpen, "I swear I will..."
"You guys talk lot and say very little." A deep, monotone voice said.
"A su pinche madre!" Alex jumped in fright and turned around just to see Everett behind him, chewing on a frozen burrito, "Cabrón no mames! At least make a noise or say hello or something!"
"At least that kept you from turning into a wolf," Finn said.
"And from destroying my suite," Zeth put his hand to his chest, taking a deep breath.
"Since when are you just standing there without talking, Big Guy?" Draco asked Everett, cocking his head.
"A while," Everett replied.
"We'll have to put a bell on you," Alex said, with a hand on his heaving chest.
"We're reading an article by a vocal coach," Frank told Everett, but then frowned, "Hey Big Guy, why is your hand bandaged? What happened?"
"Secret word was napkin ring," Everett replied.
"Evie had to stop the van and treat his sprained wrist," Alex replied with a roll of his eyes.
"It was your fault," Everett growled at Alex.
"I didn't think you were actually going to jump out of a moving vehicle!" Alex yelled.
"Frostakov! Alfaro! Calm down or I'll calm you down!" Zeth snapped his fingers. Alex and Everett stopped growling at each other, "Fine. Now take one step back," and both obeyed Zeth without a word.
But then Everett got weird, wandering off into infinity.
"Everett?" Draco asked as the Big Guy started walking in circles, "Everett? Are you okay?"
"Mozart, Mozart where are you?" Everett lowered his cold gaze, staring at the floor while repeating over and over again, "Mozart, Mozart where are you?"
"Oh no! I think we broke him!" Draco gasped and covered his mouth.
"No, I think he's repeating something he heard somewhere," Zeth raised an eyebrow and Everett nodded, pointing a finger at the balcony, "See? I'm always right."
"I'm in love, very much in love with girl," Everett whispered, shocking everyone, "She's very confident and she..."
"Everett!" Finn yelled, losing his mind, "Did you read my journal again?!"
"You have a diary?" Alex asked Finn.
"It is a journal!"
"Are you in love with a girl, Finn?" Draco asked, and Finn covered his face with his hands. "Awwwww! How cute!"
"Everett!" Frank gasped, "The article talks about you too!"
"I think it's better not to know what Cadence thinks of Frostakov," Zeth said with a huff, "He isn't the type to take criticism well, he either ignores it completely, or solves it with a Death Match which I must remind you, Big Guy, is illegal," Then he pointed a finger at Everett, who took another bite of his burrito, staring blankly at Zeth, "Nah. I think you don't care about what Cadence thinks of you."
"Everett! Listen! It says..." Frank cleared his throat. "Everett has a strong, dark, and distinctly deep voice that has the power to wrap around your soul and make you feel the song."
"I'm perfect." Everett said, his face expressionless, nothing new.
"Cadence seems to like you," Frank continued reading. "It says... Everett's voice is a finely tuned instrument. Even when he's singing quietly, he remains on-key. His vocal power is unmatched and artistically beautiful, a force of nature with near perfect..."
"Frank, you can stop reading," Finn said, pointing to the balcony where Everett was, lost in the horizon, finishing his burrito. "Everett's already gone. He doesn't care."
"Told you so," Zeth laughed a little, "Don't you guys get tired of me always being right?"
"Maybe I'm not as good a singer as I thought I was," Frank brought his bionic hand to his mouth, "I can't be a good singer if I lose my breath! How many times did Draco sing my high notes because I couldn't breathe? Many! Too many!"
"Has that woman tried to sing and dance for two hours straight without a break?" Alex growled, gritting his teeth. "It's like running a marathon breathing through your mouth after smoking!"
"If I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day instead of two, do you think my breath control will improve?" Frank asked.
"I doubt it," Finn replied.
"This article is going to end our career... I want a lawyer right now!" Zeth took out his gold-cased phone and typed furiously. "I'm going to sue her! I'm going to call Sue's dad!"
"Mr. Cubbus must love it every time you sue someone, Zeth," Alex said, "You've probably already paid for his great-great-grandchildren's college tuition by this point."
"I don't care," Zeth replied, "I'm not going to let anyone talk nonsense about you, guys."
"Don't you think you're exaggerating, Zeth?" Finn asked, opening another water bottle. "I mean, Cadence is influential, but it's not that bad. I think she mostly said good things about us. This can help us improve and..."
"That's stupid, Seamons," Zeth rolled his eyes, "No! I'm going to sue her for damaging our morale and image! It is for the sake of our pride, guys. I'm going to show that woman that nobody messes with Monster Mash!"
"Hey Zeth, maybe this isn't so bad," Frank said, "Finn is right. We can improve thanks to that article."
And Zeth immediately stopped breathing heavily to nod, apparently calmer.
"Well, I think you're right, Frank. You are always very optimistic." Zeth put his phone in his pocket, reaching for a coat rack to grab the gold and teal, ridiculously expensive fringed jacket made of bandages that he had bought in Cairo, "I'm going out, I need a cigarette right now."
"But you don't have lungs," Finn said but no one heard him.
"I would like to smoke a cigarette, or two, or three, but I guess..." Frank looked down, "I think I smoke too much and it's already affecting my condition, I mean that woman said so... I'll pass."
"That's a first," Finn raised his eyebrows.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing either," Zeth raised his bushy eyebrows, "But I guess it's a change for the better... As you said, Frank. We can always improve."
Finn's jaw dropped.
"But, Zeth. It was Finn who said that," Frank tried to correct him.
"Really?" Zeth asked. Frank and Finn nodded, "I'm sorry, Seamons. I guess I was too angry to pay attention."
"N-No problem," Finn nodded, lowering his gaze.
"Wait, Zeth," Alex said, snorting. "I'm coming with you. Anyone else?"
"I'll go with you, I also need a smoke," Draco nodded, too effusively.
"Hey, Draquito. If you come with us..." Alex put his hand on the shoulder of the vampire, "Please stay close. Last time you almost got hit by a car. I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to you. Will you promise to behave like someone your age?"
"Alex, I..." Draco and Alex stared into each other's eyes. "I mean yeah, sure."
They both smiled at each other.
The wolf could be many things, even grumpy and hot-headed, but he always cared for Draco.
Sometimes it seemed that he was the only one who took all the nonsense his friend did seriously. What if he got hurt? Did no one care that Draco had a habit of almost always getting into trouble?
Maybe Alex was being overprotective, but he had suffered a lot when he lived in La Villa de Alfaro. He had lived under the same roof as his father, mother, brothers, sisters, half-brothers, half-sisters, stepmother, stepfather, step-brothers, step-sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins all at once and it had been hell.
But Alex had gotten into new and different trouble for becoming so attached to Draco because, honestly? None of Alycandro's relatives were anywhere near as chaotic as Draco could be.
"Guys?" Zeth was tapping his foot, standing under the door frame, "Want to keep gazing into each other's eyes or you want to go downstairs?"
"What?!" Alex laughed, "Stop reading fanfics, Methuselah."
"Oh. Oh! OH! I read a really good one the other night! Steamy!" Draco said, fanning himself, "Alex was sick and I made some chicken soup for him and then, and then, and then Alex and I gazed into each other's eyes like, like for a long time and, and, and then we kissed and then... Oh! And Frank was a sexy neighbour who did the lawn every weekend and Zeth was the president of the neighbourhood council and Everett delivered milk and I don't remember if Finn was in the story but, oh, OH! There was a very hot scene! I walked into the room and found Alex watching...."
"Draco," Zeth lowered his eyebrows, "Can we go now? I really need a smoke."
"Come on, Animaniac," Alex patted the vampire on the shoulder, "I wanna fuck up my lungs a little."
"I like that nickname, when did you come up with it?" Draco asked.
"Finn said that a while ago."
"Really? I didn't hear him," Draco said, closing the door behind himself while Finn covered his face with his hands and grunted.
"The story of my life."