Rule #44: Rebels Don't Mourn
Just get over it.
- () -
Xavier has haunted my dreams recently.
I don't know why. I thought I had gotten over him by now.
Sometimes, he's young and friendly. I dream about his suffocating hugs and teasing smiles. Like when he asked me on my first date. Or the encouraging texts he sent me when I applied for Varsity Swimming, promising that he'd do anything to get me in.
Other times - most times - he's older, snorting at something I say in class or laughing at my newly dyed hair. My nightmare tonight consists of a simple memory of me sitting at my desk, scrolling Gwen's twitter feed. All of the pictures are of her and Xavier, displaying their new relationship status.
By the time I open my eyes, it's ten o'clock in the morning and I'm exhausted.
Why the nightmares? Why now?
Maybe it's because they just broke up. Or maybe it's because of the fact that Bettie brought up the incident again to Archer and I can't stop worrying about it.
Probably the latter.
I close my eyes, trying to make up the sleepless hours from midnight.
A screech from a car stopping too fast comes from downstairs, reminding me of the time Archer nearly ran me over. It's followed by a series of honking and yells. I throw the pillow over my head and wait for them to stop making noise.
They don't.
I rip off my blankets and storm downstairs in my pajamas.
Now that the holiday season is coming, families are driving back to their own homes. All of Archer's cousins are due to leave today, he told me. This explains the line of cars outside, but it doesn't explain the huge commotion, in front of our house, that's stopped all traffic.
Melody and James are deep within the crowd, examining something lying on the road.
I grow closer to see what's the issue, but stop in my tracks once I spot the dead deer on the ground.
There's blood and cracks on a dark blue sedan next to it. One of the cars must have ran into a doe. Her body is oddly twisted in the middle, with two of its legs facing directly away from each other. Her head, surrounded by dirt and blood, twitches. Just barely.
I choke back a gasp.
James spots me first. "Peyton, you're awake!"
Melody turns around. "Peyton!" She tries to move so that I won't see the corpse but it's too late.
"Which asshole did this?" I demand, trying to shove past my siblings. They won't let me. "There must be consequences. We need to hold another courtroom trial and except this time I'm the judge and the punishment is jail -"
"Peyton, stop." James grabs my shoulders and turns my heads towards him. "There's nothing we can do now. It's dead."
"I need to avenge him, James."
"You need to go home and change out of your bunny PJs."
I run past him and make a beeline for the dead deer, intent on hunting down whoever's responsible for this tragedy.
James grabs me around my waist and pulls me up so I'm running in midair.
"Take her to Archer," Melody suggests. "He can calm her down."
James nods and throws me over his shoulder.
"Nothing is going to calm me down until I find out which monster killed an innocent deer and put him on the guillotine -" I protest as we enter the Raine house.
Archer, whose injured leg is propped up by a pillow, sitting on the couch. He glances up from his homework once we enter. I pause in my ranting about medieval torture techniques to wave hi. Archer, surprised but amused, waves hi back.
"Archer, you have to help me plan a murder," I say over James's shoulder. He throws me on the couch. "Ouch."
Archer slings one hand over the back of the couch and looks down at me. "You okay, bear cub?"
"No, I am most definitely not okay," I blurt out. James tossed me on the couch upside down, so I straighten up and toss my messy hair out of my face. "There's a dead doe outside!"
Archer raises both eyebrows. "A doe?"
"Yeah, like a female deer."
"I know what a doe is. I just wanted to make sure you weren't imagining animals again."
"What? Is this about Lucky? She's real and so is the deer. This car ran over her -"
"Did you jump in front of it?"
"What?"
"The car."
"No. Be serious, Archer," I punch him on his chest. "Somebody ran over a deer outside. Don't you see? We need to hold a trial -"
"We're not holding another trial," James interrupts.
"It's the only way to bring justice and respect to the deer."
"No, let's listen to Archer. He probably has a better idea."
"I do?"
"My idea is the best idea," I grumble, but turn towards Archer anyways.
Archer thinks for a moment. "How about a funeral?"
"A funeral?" James repeats.
"Yeah. We can bury it in the woods and create a memorial."
I mull over this for a moment. I think about creating a giant deer statue, a reminder for all who live in this neighborhood about the importance of wildlife and driving safely.
"Oh," I say. "That is a better idea."
Archer tucks his pen behind his ear, the hint of a smirk crossing his lips.
- () -
I run the idea to hold a deer funeral by the parents. There were a few disagreements, like my grandmother, but most of the them agree to my idea.
"As long as the kids don't see the actual animal, I think it'll be fine to let them participate in making preparations. It can be a learning experience," Stephanie's mom tells me.
And so, the rest of Archer's cousins and I head inside the house to make funeral preparations.
Meanwhile, my dad hides the dead deer in the fridge in the basement, making my siblings and I promise not to tell mom about it.
Melody and James corner me as soon as I enter the house.
"Peyton, can I make the gravestone? Please? I have such a good quote to use for it."
"...Sure."
"No fair," James whines. "I wanted to make the gravestone."
"You can write the eulogy."
"Deal."
What's wrong with my family?
After that weird conversation, I designate everybody into roles for the funeral. Archer's in charge of creating the deer memorial, which he constructs out of paint (that I found from our basement) and a large canvas (that I also found from our basement).
When it comes to volunteer for digging the actual grave, nobody raises their hand. Then, Julia, Archer's little sister, hops down the stairs.
"Don't tell me you just woke up," Archer says, wiping brown paint of his nose. "It's one o'clock."
"It's the weekend. I can sleep however long I want to," Julia rubs her eyes. "What's going on?"
"We're planning a funeral."
She drops her hands. I don't think I've ever seen her this interested in something. "Really? Whose? Is it Uncle Justin? Tell me it's Uncle Justin."
"It's a deer."
"I'll take it."
"We need somebody to make a grave," I tell her. "Are you up to the task?"
"Yes. I love making graves," She jumps down the stairs. "Where do I dig the hole?"
"In the forest so it doesn't smell. The shovel is in the -"
Julia already running off to the backyard. "I don't need a shovel. I'm going to bury it with my bare hands."
"No, you will not!" Archer calls.
"Watch me!"
Archer sighs and asks one of his cousins to follow her. "She's probably not going to do something that stupid. But you never know with her."
"I like Julia. She's a cool little sister," I say.
"Not as cool as Melody."
I snort. "Yeah, right."
"It's true."
"Then, let's trade sisters."
Archer laughs. My heart flip-flops.
What's going on with me?
I change the subject before I become too flustered. "So, uh, what do you want to name it? We can't keep calling it 'the deer' forever."
Archer taps the wooden end of the paintbrush against his lips. "Let me think - there's Holiday, Autumn, Willow, Doerothy -"
"Doerothy?"
"Yeah. Like Dorothy, but with a Doe."
"I like that one."
"I thought you would."
With Archer and my family's efforts combined, we manage to get everything done by sunset.
While Melody calls the others to join the funeral, Archer and I walk over to the woods to make sure everything's properly set up.
The area we used is behind the treehouse. We put strings of fairy lights into the trees and set up beach chairs in rows. Archer's memorial, a painting of a herd of deer, lies in front, next to podium we used for the trial.
I sit on a log and admire the view.
Maybe it's because of the mystical lights or the cartoonish painting, but I'm feeling a little bit sentimental.
My mind wanders back to Doerothy. Nobody managed to find a herd, or any other deer, nearby our neighborhood. She must have wandered off all alone. She must have been so scared. The thought makes me a little upset.
I jump when Archer sits besides me.
"Should you be out here right now?" I ask. "Your leg is injured."
"Your head is injured," He points out. "I'll be fine."
Archer's sitting awfully close to me. Usually, this wouldn't affect me. But today, I can't help but be aware of every move he makes.
"Give me your arm."
"Why?"
He takes out his pen.
"You're going to draw on it again?" I ask, trying not to panic. The last time he drew on my hand, I nearly bit my tongue off trying not to laugh.
"It's not as if I can use my own," He says and motions for me to come forward.
Why is my face so hot?
"You can't use my arm."
"Why not?"
"Because it tickles."
Archer's subtle smirk turns into a full-blown grin.
"Well, we don't have to use your arm."
He shifts closer. I can't move away because I'm at the edge of my log. My heart is racing. And it nearly stops once he touches my shoulder. He traces little figures on my skin, making goosebumps appear.
"I can draw in a place where it's not as ticklish, if you want. Like on your shoulders," His fingers plays with the hair on the back of my neck. "Or your neck. Or your back..."
"F-fine," I slap his hand away and try to maintain a composed expression, which becomes increasingly difficult once I see his teasing smile. "Use my hand."
"Thank you, bear cub."
"Whatever."
Archer clicks his pen and begins to draw on my arm, starting with lower part and rolling the ink all the way to my shoulder. It doesn't tickle at much first, so I watch him as he traces a figure of a koala bear.
My heartbeat echoes in my ears. His quiet breathing and the darkening sky just make it twice as louder. I swallow nervously, trying to come up with some way to distract myself.
"I want to talk," I blurt out.
"That's a first."
I roll my eyes.
"What do you want to talk about?"Â Archer shades in a part of the ear.
"Well, you never reacted to what Bettie told you. You know, about the incident in freshman year with Xavier, the swim team, and," The word gets stuck in my mouth. "And the nudes."
"I'll make sure to gasp dramatically next time."
"You know that's not what I mean."
He doesn't say anything, choosing instead to drag the pen further up my arm. Shivers run down up my arms.
Archer hides a smile.
It takes me another minute before I muster up the courage to ask him another question.
"You really don't think of me any differently?"
"Why would I?"
"Because of the nu - the pictures. Most people think of me differently after they find about the pictures."
"Pictures or no pictures, you'll still be my adorable bear cub."
A huge weight that I didn't know was lying on my shoulders lifts. Archer's voice was light and teasing, but his words make me feel ten times better.
Why though?
Why does his opinion matter so much to me?
Archer bends his head closer to my arm. Strands of his dark hair fall on my skin, making my nerves stand on edge. In a good way. A pleasant sensation washes over me, like a ray of sunshine brushing over my head.
I cross my legs, then uncross them, trying to get rid of this ridiculously good feeling.
Archer looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. "Am I tickling you?"
Fireworks erupt in my stomach.
Stunned, I shake my head. "Y-you're fine."
He returns to his drawing.
What's wrong? All of these thoughts that I'm having towards him aren't normal for a friend. I shouldn't be getting butterflies in my stomach if I thought he was just a normal guy. The last time I felt something like this is when I was with Xavier. Except this feeling is stronger. And more powerful.
Oh no.
I know what's going on.
I have a crush on Archer Raine.
Archer Raine, oblivious to my epiphany, draws some leaves for the koala to munch on. It's so cute, but I'm too busy panicking to pay any attention.
When did this happen? How could this happen? I made specific rules to stop this very thing from happening! I even made a list of things to avoid in a boy after I got rejected by Xavier in my freshman year.
Peyton's List of Traits to Avoid in a Boy:
1) Good-Looking: Handsome males tend to slow down your thoughts and make you think things about them (smart, kind, etc.) that aren't even true. And not even on purpose.
2) Popular: Popular males have a ton of minions that can follow them. If you anger one popular male, you anger all of his minions too.
3) Arrogance: Arrogant males know their charms and how they can use them against you. They also think they're so cool that they don't even need you. You're nothing but a little toy they use to amuse themselves with.
4) Athletic: They can beat you up.
5) Friendly: This is most dangerous quality in a male. Even if they're ugly or unpopular, a little of kindness in a dangerous situation can be just thing it takes to get into your hea
Oh my god.
Archer's all of these things. I have fallen for fourteen-year old Peyton's greatest nightmare.
I'm screwed.
"Finished," Archer signs his name at the edge of my elbow and pushes himself up to his full height again.
Our eyes meet.
My mouth is dry. I'm saved from saying anything stupid by the guests that arrive.
James presents his eulogy, which is filled with little puns about deers and other animals, and gets a few laughs from the audience. Melody presents her gravestone - RIPÂ Doerothy. You were deer to our hearts - and Archer presents his memorial.
Both get a round of applause.
Then, all of Archer's relatives start to leave again, this time without the dead deer.
I make sure to give all of the dogs from Archer's family a farewell hug before they go. I try to give Spots the Snake one too, but his owner stops me from doing so. Mom tells me to go keep Archer company on the porch, so that's what I do.
"I'll buy you a snake for your birthday," Archer reassures.
"I don't need a snake when I got Melody."
He laughs, causing my heart to flip-flop all over again. I look down at my present and smile a little bit, unable to help myself.
"Are those blueberries?"
"Yeah. They're for Stephanie. She thinks they'll make her hair blue."
"Sweet. You two have gotten close."
"I guess. Kids aren't as bad as I thought they were."
Archer hums in agreement, leaning back on his palms. We watch the cars sneak out of the driveway. I keep a lookout for Stephanie.
"If we had a kid, let's name him Parker."
"What?" I splutter.
"Parker. It's a mix of Peyton and Archer," Archer turns his head to the side, sees my expression and bursts into laughter. "I'm kidding."
I shake my head, even as my face warms. "You're an idiot."
"You still love me."
"Keep dreaming, Raine."
I'm so screwed.
- () -
Next Chapter: Peyton's going to deal with one of her biggest fears.
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Wow, Cracker's is sure getting a lot of treats this time! Thanks to Annie_Hickman, Ninjapinapleprincess, _foreverdreaming281_, weridoisme123, XoxoHannaoxoX, NICKY875, HalaSolo, elaine0223, Bexo101, WhateverForever2313, xcinnamonrolls and JustASappyGirl.
And another thanks to FeminismOnFleek, who made the lovely cover. It's my first fanart ever and I love it :,)
Thanks for reading!
QotC: What are some moments you'd like to see between Archer and Peyton ? It can be anything. Anything at all.