Warning: Mention of poison and death.
If anyone asked, âWhat kind of person is Aesvin?â There was only one answer to which I would answer.
She was peculiar.
Yes, she was somehow different from the first meeting.
Since childhood, survival has been my top priority.
The existence of a young and powerless first prince of the empire was enough to be seen as a thorn in the eyes of others.
My fatherâs general secretary and Empress Isabelle were unhappy with my existence.
It has become blatantly worse since she gave birth to her son, Steven.
At first, it was a level of notice, but she moved on to act as I grew older.
When I was seven years old, I collapsed after taking poison for the first time.
Fortunately, I could survive, but it was shocking to me.
Even if I was careful, she repeatedly poisoned my food from time to time and managed to survive after collapsing.
It was fortunate that my indifferent father wasnât directly cut off because he wouldnât hurt me.
The more outspoken Empress Isabelle was, the more people around me disappeared.
When I was eight years old, I felt desperate.
âW-whyââ
Even though I was somehow resistant to poison, blood rushed up to my throat.
It hurt my heart more than the burning pain in my stomach.
âIâm sorry, Prince. Iâm sorry.â
It was abominable to see him crying and begging for forgiveness.
I believed him.
No, I was bound to believe.
Because he was the only family that stayed with me when everyone left.
The drink that my trusted uncle gave me was poisoned.
I collapsed with a terrible feeling and wished I could die like this.
Iâd rather be glad it ended like this.
âI donât have to live desperately anymore.â
But I survived.
When I opened my eyes again and found out that I had lived, the emptiness was greater than the relief.
I wanted to ask who saved me and why he saved me.
I pressured the servant, and she said fortunately a woman who passed by saved me.
Her father had no choice but to step up at the childâs cry.
She did something useless.
I couldnât trust anyone anymore.
Even my family has changed so much, who should I trust?
After that, I began to distance myself.
I didnât even look for my benefactor, the father and daughter.
They would have saved me just by the whim of the moment.
No matter how much you looked around, there was no end to the vigilance.
Some people changed their minds and got caught while putting poison.
Some showed suspicious behavior and had to be expelled.
If there were any doubt, they would be sent out of the Prince Palace.
Like an empty palace, my heart became empty.
I thought about it every day, many times, countless times in the cold palace.
Iâd rather be a child of an ordinary family.
No, Iâd rather not have a family.
If so, would I have enjoyed my life?
Could I laugh and chat like other kids?
I felt like I would die of exhaustion, but at times I was lonely.
It seemed okay, but it was a dark night.
It was sad and scary to be alone in a gloomy palace.
The darkness seemed to devour up.
âItâs okay. Iâm all right.â
At that time, I would bend my knees and hug them, constantly muttering to myself that I was okay and staying up all night.
Then it seemed a little better.
I didnât know why I had to live, but I just lived with the goal of survival.
Then came the day when my life became special.
It was the day I realized Aesvinâs existence.
It was one day when I was 9 years old.
I attended a tea party held by Empress Isabelle every year.
This tea party was a boring time.
Everyone knew that it was a tea party held to further isolate and laugh at me.
Knowing all that, I couldnât be pleased with the situation where I had to sit and be ridiculed.
âPrince Luciano, are you alone again this year?â
Empress Isabelle had the audacity to create a friendly face.
âIs there anyone out there who can get along with Prince Luciano? Iâm very worried that the prince is so alone.â
An indescribable smile appeared on Empress Isabelleâs lips, who pretended to be concerned about me and insulted me.
âFinding Prince Lucianoâs playmates.â
I had expected it, and I had not experienced it once or twice, but misery came whenever I received the pitiful gaze from all the nobles.
Itâs okay. The heart that I held on to was about to collapse.
It was disastrous to go through such a horrifying situation every time.
âMe!â
A clear voice broke through the silence.
A girl with dark reddish-brown eyes and bright hair that seemed to embrace the sky had very innocent eyes.
The girl smiled and shouted brightly.
âIâll be the princeâs friend.â
The girl was so bright that I couldnât recognize properly what she said.
It had been long since Empress Isabelle feared that no one would step into my business.
One girl could easily break the tacit silence.
âItâs Aesvin Samuel. Count Benjamin Samuel is my father.â
Aesvin Samuel.
Daughter of Count Samuel.
It was when the girlâs name was remembered in my mind.
Seeing her always answering in a bright voice, I thought she was a very unusual girl.
âI was taught to be friendly to my peers. Do I need a reason to be friends with someone? Didnât everyone learn like me?â
Aesvin didnât listen to Empress Isabelleâs warning and only smiled softly.
âYour Majesty, can I be friends with Prince Luciano?â
The foolish Aesvin who didnât even know what everyone else was avoiding.
âPrince Luciano, letâs be close like Your Majesty had said!â
The moment I met her eyes and saw her brightly smiling face, I had no choice but to nod slowly.
At that time, I thought it was just a small incident.
It was just passing by at the tea party.
She came forward because she didnât know what kind of situation Prince Luciano was in.
As Empress Isabelle said, it was out of pity for the prince, who seemed alone.
After she got home and listened to her parents, I thought she would draw her attention from me.
Or maybe her parents would stop her.
However, not long after the tea party, Aesvin came to visit.
âHello, Prince Luciano,â
I was silent because it was an unexpected visit.
âYou look great today.â
The moment I saw a bright Aesvin who naturally complimented me.
âWho said you could come?â
I instinctively felt that I had to stay away.
âPrince Luciano agreed to be close with me before.â
The child was in danger as she stepped closer.
âI didnât say that it was okay to come rashly.â
I spoke coldly and deliberately pushed her away.
I left my seat, leaving her as it was.
I thought that such rude behavior would hurt her pride and give up on approaching me.
But her letter arrived.
I kicked him out for coming in without permission, and it was about making an appointment.
I didnât reply to refuse.
After ignoring her several times, she sent me a selfish letter saying that if there were no reply, she would think of my silence as permission.
As soon as I read it, I couldnât help but laugh.
But I couldnât accept it, so I sent a reply of rejection.
Then the formal correspondence arrived immediately.
It was sent as soon as I checked the letter I had sent.
Aesvin repeatedly requested a visit, and I returned the refusal.
The modifier became more interesting, and I replied with a laugh.
Was it wrong to write to each other several times a day?
âPrince Luciano, with whom do you talk so interestingly?â
Empress Isabelle came as an unexpected visitor and greeted.
She was the one who had come to this desolate palace for a very long time.
âWhatâs the matter?â
âI hear something that worries me. I heard that the prince exchanged diligent correspondence with an outsider today. Who is he messing around with?â
I knew I was always under constant surveillance, but Empress Isabelle was shameless not to hide that.
âMessing around. Thereâs no such thing.â
âReally? So, who are you correspondence with in such a hurry?â
Empress Isabelleâs voice was sharp.
She isolated me like that.
Are you still so vigilant that I might create an outside force?
No one would take risks for me.
There was a possibility that problems might arise if it continued like this, so I told her honestly.
âThatâs Aesvin Samuel.â
âCome to think of it, when she had been here the other day, youâve been back in a minute. Do you want to get along with her?â
It was a word thrown to escape the situation, but Empress Isabelle expressed her curiosity in a different way.
âIsnât she the friend whom the Empress gave me? I have to be polite.â
I meant that would I accept what you might have attached?
Empress Isabelle, who had been silent for a moment as she was thinking, smiled.
âThank you for recognizing my efforts. Try to get along with her.â
Perhaps she realized that I had not done anything stupid, Empress Isabelle left with confidence.
Several letters on one side caught my eye.
The sender never dreamed of creating such a difficult situation.
It was really troublesome.
I thought it was dangerous to keep sending her correspondence, so I sent the last letter.
[Alright. Iâll allow you to visit tomorrow.]
* * *
âHello, Prince Luciano.â
Aesvin greeted me with a surprisingly bright face every time.
âYouââ
âPlease call me Aesvin comfortably, Prince.â
And, even more surprisingly, she wasnât afraid to approach me.
âDo you tend to hear that youâre not good enough?â
âNo? Iâve heard a lot of people say Iâm smart.â
When I asked straightforwardly, she answered strangely.
And the way she smiled was ridiculous.
I couldnât help laughing when I heard something like that.
âThen, why canât you understand what people say? I told you over and over again, but you just do it.â
I said it more harshly.
âI got it. I understood, but I pretended not to know because I wanted to meet the prince.â
I got a surprising answer.
âWhat theââ
âWhy?â
Why did you want to be friends with me?
Didnât you hear about me when you got home?
âWe-weâre supposed to be close!â
Didnât you know it would be unreasonable to be with me?
Didnât your parents stop you?
âSo why should we be close?â
âI told you last time. Iâm going to be close to everyone.â
Were you going to be friends with everyone?
It sounded ideal.
Somewhat vain and angry came simultaneously as I heard the foolishly kind answer.
So a colder voice came out.
âYou canât be friends with everyone. Go to the others who accept you.â
I watched Aesvinâs expression harden, but I didnât give a kind explanation.
This was the right thing.
You shouldnât have approached me with such a vague feeling.