Chapter 20: : Chapter 20

My phone buzzed at the same time someone knocked on my door.

I was just finishing dressing for the party, and came out of the bathroom when my door opened. Zoe came inside. I was speechless for a moment. She was in a full black leather suit with no back, just strips that ran over her shoulders, like the front of a halter top. Her whole face was shimmering with light glitter. It mixed perfectly with her skin tone. She had eyelashes on, and instead of the usual jewelry that adorned her during the day, she was naked. No rings. No earrings. No necklaces or bracelets. Nope. One piece of jewelry, a nose ring, and it was the smallest little diamond.

“Holy shit. You look amazing.”

She beamed, lacing her fingers together. I had to look, her shoes didn’t disappoint. They were black high heels. “It’s Skylar’s birthday today.”

My eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t know that. Are the roommates doing anything for her?”

“We could maybe do a roommate dinner tomorrow, but she didn’t want anyone to know. She doesn’t like to celebrate in a showy way.”

“Oh okay.” I was still going to get her a gift. I was weird. If people demanded gifts, I didn’t like giving them, but if they were like Skylar, I loved getting them presents. It was out of character for me, but I didn’t care. I liked Skylar and Zoe. They weren’t in my business, and instead had boundaries that almost rivaled myself. Plus, they were nice. “What’s up? What brings you to my door?”

“You’re going out?”

I nodded, checking over my outfit. A party at the hockey house was a little nerve wracking, and I rarely got nervous for parties. But Cruz would be there and with how we’d been lately, I wasn’t sure what to expect. We might not talk the whole night until at the end or… I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I wanted either. I’d enjoyed that he sat next to me in class, even if it was just for a bit, and then panicked because that was the whole point of how we needed to stop violating our own rules.

But I’d dressed accordingly, or tried. Black faux-leather leggings with pockets, ripped on some sections of my thighs and knees, and a few rips on the inside of my legs. On top was a simple white shirt, though it was transparent and hugged my entire frame. Under that was a black bra, and I ended it with tiny black shoes that looked like ballet slippers, but weren’t. They were ultra comfortable.

I was okay, but not in Zoe’s league.

“That’s why I came up. I was wondering if I could ask for a favor?”

“Of course.”

“Some of us girls in our group, we’re doing a party hop for Skylar’s birthday. We’re not going to be loud and do anything for attention, but we want to go to as many parties as possible and hang in each place. That’s it. I don’t know if we’ll even drink at every place, but I heard there’s a hockey party tonight.”

I nodded, getting a feel where she was going.

“You’re going, right? Miles mentioned it, said you know the team somewhat.”

“Yeah.” I coughed. “Somewhat.”

“Could we crash it? With you? Or you go, and we’ll come later, but you’ll be our to get in? Would that be okay?”

Her eyes were wide and her own excitement levels were obvious. She was almost standing on her tiptoes.

I nodded. “Of course, but you don’t need me to get in there. Just show up. Trust me, they’ll let you in.”

She laughed, her voice hitching. “I’m not Skylar. She’s more extroverted, not shy. I’m the opposite. I get nervous before doing parties. We’ve had a whole day already. I baked her three of her favorite birthday cakes, and for breakfast, she had her favorite waffles in bed. I even handpicked a whole bouquet of flowers and snuck it in before the guys saw. She didn’t want a fuss made over her, but that’s what I love to do. Making a fuss over who I love.”

“You guys seem really happy together.”

“I am. I think she is. I love her, a lot.” She gave another beaming smile, her arms stretched out and she wiggled her fingers toward me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She began edging back to the door. “I’ll give you a text when we’re close to the house.”

“You know where it is?”

Her laugh was abrupt. “Everyone knows where the hockey house is, even me.” One last wave. “See you later! And you look sexy as hell.”

That was nice to hear.

I heard Miles’ voice in the stairway and knew I had three seconds before he’d be bursting through my door. I looked around, making sure I had everything I needed. I trusted the guys at the hockey house so I didn’t need to take alcohol with me, but cash? Check. Keys? I grabbed them, putting them deep into my pocket. They were pushed down so far, I’d have to dig them out later. They’d be safe. And what else?

The door burst open. Miles threw his hands in the air, his face flushed. “Pre party drinking! Let’s do it, roomie.”

I was looking around. “What am I forgetting?”

“Phone?”

“Phone!” I snatched it, shoving it into my other pocket and knowing that’d also be work to get out so it was safe for the night. “I’m ready.”

His grin was crooked as he came over, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “I’m in the mood to get fucked up tonight.”

“Atwater found me yesterday on campus to make sure I was coming today. He said this is supposed to be a small thing?”

He snorted, walking me to the door. “We’ll see if that happens.”

It didn’t happen.

The house was overrun when we got there. Bass music was blasting, though more muted than I was expecting. As we walked inside, the whole first floor was filled with people talking, standing around. A bunch had congregated in the kitchen, where as we walked in, we found Atwater busy finicking over food.

He saw us, and did a double take. “Finally! You’re here.” He threw down a towel that’d been over his shoulder. A red apron was tied around his waist. He snatched up his phone, typing on it. “I’ve been waiting for you to arrive.”

Miles and I shared a look.

He asked, “You’ve been waiting for us?”

Atwater gestured to me with his phone. “Daniels. You don’t know the lengths I went to get you here, and now you’re here, and I’m going to let the person know who wanted you here.”

I frowned. Cruz? But that didn’t make sense…

“You told me yesterday this was supposed to be a small shindig.”

He looked around, half glaring, before blowing a puff of air that dislodged some of his hair. His curls fell back in place. “It was supposed to be. Keys is going nuts. Also, Angela was supposed to meet new friends, but guess who took her under her wing? Bianca. Labrowski is not happy with me, so yeah. Basically my ass is going to get beat every day in practice for the rest of the season.”

I had no clue who Angela was, but Gavin came in from another room. Seeing us, he raised his hands in the air. “My people. Finally.”

Two of his frat brothers were with him. They circled us in the kitchen, began eating some of the food. Atwater had put out bags of chips. Salsa in a bowl. Three boxes of pizza, and a whole tray of egg rolls. Fast food wrappers were stacked on one of the counters, along with a plethora of alcohol bottles.

“Sorry to say, but you are looking seriously hot, Daniels. In a way where I want to do dirty things to you.”

I showed my teeth, rounding on Gavin, but it wasn’t him that spoke. It was one of his brothers, who I didn’t know his name.

I glared instead.

Gavin laughed, touching the guy’s forehead and shoving him back. “Down, boy. She ain’t like that. You can look, but don’t approach. Trust me. She took my balls on more than a few occasions.”

The brother was wasted, his eyes almost cross-eyed, but he stared at Gavin. Something mean and dark flashed in his gaze. He opened his mouth, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear whatever he was about to say, but Atwater exploded. Again. “Finally!”

He pushed past us, shoving the frat brother back, and Gavin into me.

I was winded from the impact. It took a little before Gavin extricated himself. He was that drunk, which I figured he would be. I figured most would be since everyone started drinking before the game today. They won, but lost yesterday, so there would’ve been a renewed sense to drink in celebration.

It was then that I saw who Atwater was greeting. A pretty girl. Long dark hair. Hazel eyes. She was tall and slender, and looked a little familiar. She was with another girl, and a guy. Both of their faces were turned away, but they looked at me, and my stomach dropped.

I recognized the girl. She was on the same floor as myself last semester, and the girl with her was Tasmin Shaw. Taz’s boyfriend was on her other side.

“Daniels.” The same frat brother fell into my side. His bourbon breath wafting over me. “They got a whole dance floor set up downstairs. What do you say? Wanna go and grope each other in the dark?” He belched, but remained smiling at me.

Two things happened after that.

I saw Cruz across the room. He was standing by the wall, talking with a bunch of people. A girl was there. He pushed up one of his arm sleeves, his fingers going through his wet hair. He must’ve just showered. He was wearing jeans that hung from his lean hips, and a Grant West vintage hockey shirt. His number was in the top left corner, over a pair of crossing hockey sticks. The back would have his last name in big and bold faded print, some parts of it chipping off. It was the design of the shirt, but I had a weakness for those types of clothes.

God. I could feel the press of him against me. How he ran his hands up the inside of my legs, how he spread them.

My body went from cold, to inferno levels, back to cold because that girl was on him, almost literally. She had a hand on his bicep, and another just above his wrist.

She was tracing his arm.

The air seized out of me. An icy rage had formed in me.

He looked down, his eyes going to hers as her head was tipped up towards him.

She leaned more into him, swaying, giving him a great view of her cleavage. Or hell, if he could see down her shirt.

Pain sliced through me because he wasn’t shoving her hand off. His lips were moving. He was talking to her.

Her head tilted back. She was laughing and as she did, she swayed back into him, using the movement so her whole body was almost pressed into his.

It was all happening in slow motion now, and she reached for his neck, and stood up on her toes. Her head angled for his.

The second thing that happened: Tasmin started for me. I noticed it from the periphery of my eyes, and I wanted to look anywhere else, but I couldn’t. I was watching a bad dream happening in real life, right in front of me, and I couldn’t stop it.

She caught him, her hands going to each side of his face, and she smashed her lips to his.

My stomach dropped to my feet.

I ripped my gaze away.

Taz had started to approach me, but she paused at seeing my face. “Mara?”

My gaze went past her, seeing Flynn Carrington walking into the house with a bunch of his brothers and girls. One girl was hanging on his arm, but he saw me, and a cocky smirk came over him.

Then a body passed between us. It was Cruz.

I wasn’t thinking anymore. I shoved past Taz, going for him.

I could feel Carrington’s eyes on me, but it was nothing compared to the burn inside of me from seeing Cruz and that girl.

He noticed me a few steps away. “Mara—”

I took his arm, a tingling already starting from just the one touch, and dragged him down into the basement.

My head was swimming. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew I needed to do something. Anything. I needed to get away, but the burn was rising in my body.

His hands found my hips. “Wait.”

He tried halting me, but I kept going, shaking my head. I was digging in here. “No.”

Gavin’s friend had said dancing in the dark, but I hadn’t known what he meant. I knew now. They set up their main living area in the basement as the entire dance floor, but it was almost completely in the dark. Dark shadows could be seen, grinding against each other, as the music was blaring from the corner.

I stopped at the end of the stairs. Did I want to do that? Dance in the dark with him?

Cruz took over, taking my hand, and led the way this time. He wound us through the couples until we were in a far corner. My back was to the wall, and he was in front of me. Over me. His hands went to both sides of me, and he leaned down. His head was bent towards me. He was so close, his hips touching mine. I reached down, touching his sides, intending to push him away.

I pulled him in.

I felt his breath as he asked, “I know you don’t do personal, but it’s obvious something is wrong.”

“Did you kiss her back?”

He went rigid. “What?”

“That girl. I saw her. Did you kiss her back? Do you want to fuck her?”

He didn’t answer.

I expelled a savage curse. “If you do—”

His hand cupped the back of my neck. “What? If I do, then what?” His body pushed further against me. I was pinned against the wall, and he moved one of his legs between me, lifting me up so I was straddling him. “You’ll do what?”

Lust was warring with anger. Goddamn him.

That burn was in me, and it was searing me. Like it was tattooing the feeling of watching her kiss him permanently inside of me. I’d never be rid of it.

“You’ll do what, Mara?” His voice was like silk, though it wasn’t true. He was pissed. It was radiating off of him, but so was I.

I was livid.

“You fuck her, we’re done.”

He lifted his head, his nostrils flaring, and he stared at me for a minute before he took my hand, and moved me further into the dance floor. There were others around us, others that could see us, but our movements were still shadowed.

The music was covering our conversation, but it went up a whole level so normal conversation, even this close was barely audible. Cruz leaned down, his mouth right at my ear as he grated out, “Rules are that we don’t sleep with others. That’s it. That’s all.” His hand went to my hip, his fingers slowly wrapping around me.

He began moving against me, in rhythm with the music.

“What are you doing?”

His mouth moved to my ear, his hand rising up, slipping under my shirt. “You’re going to say that shit to me?” His teeth nipped my ear, pulling on my lobe. He yanked me further against him, lifting me a little so I was again almost straddling his leg. His hand slid down to my hip, and he pressed me into him. He began moving me, slow, with purpose, and it was .

Heat surged through me.

His breath was caressing me. “Like I don’t know our agreement?” His mouth dipped, finding my throat.

Desire spread through me, pushing the other emotions away, overriding them.

His mouth moved to the other side of my throat, and he grasped my throat, moving my head for him. He began kissing me, sucking, and a pounding began to take over inside of me.

“You got how many fuckers hanging around you? Wanting you?

you they want you? And you go crazy over one girl? A puck bunny?” He lifted his head, but his hand still held my neck captive. His eyes were burning into mine. His nostrils flared again. “You think I like seeing that shit?” He was moving to the music so if anyone was watching, they’d think we were still dancing, but we were barely dancing. His hand spread out over my hip, moving to my ass, and he was lifting me, helping me grind over his leg. His head bent back down. His nose up the side of my chin, my cheek. Tingles spread out in his trail.

The need for him was building. I grasped for his arm, where she had touched him.

Fuck her. Fuck him. But my fingers pressed down, and I used that to help me climb more up him, rubbing against him as I began to take over.

He shifted, almost bouncing me up. Both of his hands were on my ass, and he was walking us somewhere. I was beyond caring, beyond caring who saw us, beyond remembering why I had cared in the first place.

God.

I was riding him and he was helping me, lifting me, until my back hit a wall. We were in a corner. There were still others by us, but I hoped the darkness was covering us because I had slipped past the point of sanity. A frenzy was in me, and I began riding him harder, then slow, and he cursed, his head bending to my neck again. He was tasting me. His leg was digging up into me. I climbed myself more up on him, and he adjusted so I was straddling him, not just his leg now.

We both stilled as we came into contact.

I almost sighed, feeling him where I him, where it felt right to have him there.

This. Him and me. This was our deal, no one else’s. Just him and me.

He pushed me back against the wall, a hand on my shoulder, and he raised his head to glare at me. His eyes were burning right back at me. “You want this?” His other hand went between us, pushing down into my leggings and finding where I was wet. His finger slid inside, and I bit my lip, almost mewling. That felt so fucking .

He thrust in. A slow drag out of me, and back in. He was drawing it out, until I was panting. My chest was lifting up and down. “Cruz,” I whispered. I reached for his hand, but I didn’t know if I was going to help him or stop him. I did neither, I only held it as he tunneled once more into me. His hand moved and a second finger joined inside of me, shoving deep, and holding. His thumb went to my clit. He could make me come, right here, right now. I was helpless to stop him, my body screaming for him to keep going, but he held.

“Cruz.” I reached for his neck with my other hand, my hips moving, trying to ride his fingers. I needed release.

Then he leaned close, kissing my ear before growling, “You didn’t watch long enough, babe. She kissed me, and I shoved her off. I was leaving to call . And there you were, but you messed up.” His fingers were moving smooth and deep into me, grinding, holding, before continuing. But he paused again, as his voice came out ragged, “I don’t like threats, especially when they’re not earned. I’m changing the rules. This. What I can do to you?”

I was on the brink of coming. It was right there. A part of me wanted him to hold off, I wanted to draw this out, but the other part of me wanted to finish because I wanted him inside of me. I wanted him over me, filling me, taking me.

Then his fingers were gone, and I quaked in protest. A cry left my lips.

He smashed them, silencing me in a hard and punishing kiss right before he ripped away. “You want me? Tough shit. I own this. It’s mine any time I want, I want. I could bury my dick inside you, no matter where we are, and you’d close around me. You’d pump me back because you want to know why?” His fingers slid back in, one smooth push in before pulling out. “Because you’re mine, and this ends when say we’re done.” With that, he dropped me back down, and raised his fingers, and tasted them. He stared hard at me. “But I’m not done with you. Yet.”

My head was back to swimming, and goddamn, my body was aching. When I went back upstairs, everything was louder. Taz was in the kitchen, with Skylar and Zoe. Some of their other friends. Zoe saw me first, yelling my name. It sounded like she was shouting for me under water.

Then she was in front of me, her hand touching mine. Her eyes grew concerned. “Mara? Are you okay?”

I looked past her.

Gavin was there. Miles. Atwater. Other hockey players, and in the middle, leaning against one of the counters was Cruz. His eyes met mine. The music faded. Everyone else blurred to the background. It was just him and me, and I remembered the feel of him inside of me. How he looked at me, his eyes almost loathing.

I He had that same look, the intensity burning my insides.

“Mara?” Zoe’s voice got through to me, pulling me back to the room.

I blinked, trying to shed some of my thoughts away. “Sorry. Yeah. I’m okay. Wait.” I reached for my phone, pulling it out. “Did you text?”

I heard her answering as I opened my messages, but her voice droned on, falling to a distance again.

I saw the texts.

There were others, from earlier.