âIâm so nervous,â I tell Phillip as we enter the doctorâs office.
âIâm excited,â he says. âThis is going to be so incredible. Weâre going to see our baby for the first time.â
âI know. Iâm so excited, too, but Iâm scared. Afraid to get my hopes up. Especially after you were talking about all the different types of miscarriages. With the blighted ovum one, you can feel pregnant, even start to show, but thereâs no baby. Just an empty sac. That would be so sad. And what about the other one you read about, where they couldnât find a heartbeat? I donât know what Iâll do if that happens, Phillip.â
He grabs my hand and squeezes it. âEverything is going to be just fine. Iâm sure of it.â
I nod. âYouâre right. It will be fine,â I say, but Iâm still a nervous wreck. Itâs weird. I know Iâm pregnant. I know my body is changing, but sometimes, I donât feel pregnant, which makes me question if everything is okay.
âDo you care if I record the ultrasound?â he asks me. âDanny said we should even though they will print us out a picture.â
âYeah, I think we should.â
âDid you drink enough water?â
âMy teeth are floating.â
Phillip laughs, and it helps break the tension. âThat ought to be good enough then.â
We get set up in the ultrasound roomâme on the table with my shirt pulled up and Phillip sitting next to me, his phone ready to record.
Our ultrasound tech comes in. She puts gel on my stomach and rubs the wand across it. Grayness moves across the screen in front of us. She frowns at the screen.
I squeeze Phillipâs hand tighter, worried thereâs no baby to find.
But then she slides the wand to the other side of my abdomen and says, âThere we go.â
On the screen is a little black oval, and inside of it, at the bottom, isâ
âIs that it? Is that our baby?â
âYes, it is. See there? Thatâs the babyâs head,â she says, directing us with the pointer on the screen. âAnd there are the facial bones. You can see the cord coming out of the belly here, and thereâs its bottom. How far along are you?â
âEleven weeks.â
âItâs moving,â Phillip says, sounding a little worried.
I want to look at him, but my eyes are glued to the screen.
âIt is very active,â she says. âThe last baby I had was quiet and napping. This one is bouncing all over the place.â
âLook at his little arms move. And his legs are kicking. Itâs amazing.â
âThe baby is moving a lot. Is that normal?â Phillip asks.
âItâs completely normal. Letâs see if the baby will hold still long enough for me to get some measurements.â She makes a few clicks and then says, âYour baby is measuring at eleven weeks and two days, so its size is as expected. Your due date should be accurate.â
âLook at the baby! Itâs going crazy. Is it because Iâm nervous?â
âNo,â she says. âYour babyâs putting on a show for you. Oh, look, thereâs its hand. It just waved at you. Hello, baby.â
âOhmigawd! Hi,â I say.
âHello, Baby Mac,â Phillip says.
I turn to look at him. Thereâs joy written all over his face, and heâs practically vibrating; heâs so excited. He pulls my hand to his lips and kisses it.
âCan you believe thatâs our baby?â he says to me.
âI canât believe I canât feel the baby moving. Itâs all over the place.â
âWell, the babyâs not very big yet,â the tech says. âIn a few more weeks, youâll feel all of this. At first, like a flutter, and then later, youâll feel hard kicks and elbows to the ribs. Look at him showing off. That was a somersault.â
âDid you see that?â Phillip says. âThe baby just opened its mouth.â
âAnd swallowed,â the tech says.
âThatâs amazing. This is all so breathtaking.â
âLetâs hear the babyâs heartbeat.â
The room fills with the kind of sound you would expect to hear in a submarine. An odd, sonar-like whooshing sound.
âThatâs your babyâs heartbeat,â the tech says.
âThatâs crazy. I canât even believe this. Iâm sorry. Itâs just suchââ I get choked up.
âA beautiful sound, isnât it?â she says. âI never get tired of hearing it.â
âThe heartbeat seems fast,â Phillip says.
âIt is. About one hundred and sixty beats per minute. Your baby has a nice strong and normal heartbeat. Everything looks great.â
Phillip puts his lips across my knuckles again, only this time, he keeps his head down. When he finally looks up at me, his eyes are glistening with tears. âThis is really happening.â
Seeing Phillip get emotional causes tears to flood my face.
I nod at him. âWeâre really doing this. Weâre really having a baby.â
We walk hand in hand to the car, not saying much. I think weâre still both in awe.
âI could have stayed all day and watched that. Have you ever seen anything so amazing?â he asks me.
âI havenât. Could you believe how much it was moving? It was crazy.â
We go get lunch, but neither of us eats much. Weâre too busy watching the ultrasound video over and over.
Later that evening, Phillip strolls in from work as Iâm getting ready to run over to see the progress on Loriâs kitchen. His tie is slightly loosened, and he looks delectable.
âHey,â he says, putting one hand on my ass and kissing my neck. âWhere are you going in such a hurry?â
âI was just running over to see the kitchen progress before you got home.â
âMy parents wonât be here until late tonight. They have a benefit dinner.â
âYeah, I saw your mom was all dressed up. She looked really pretty.â
âDid you show her the ultrasound video?â
âNo, I wanted to wait for you,â I tell him, giving him a kiss and running out the door. âIâll be right back.â
When Iâm standing in Loriâs kitchen, looking at a newly framed wall, I realize that I just missed out on an opportunity. âLori, does Danny have a sexual tell?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âLike, in poker, a tell is how you can tell what kind of hand they have.â
âI donât know. Iâve never thought of it. What does Phillip do?â
I walk up to her, put one hand on her ass, and pretend to kiss her neck just as Danny breezes in.
âCan I play, too?â he asks. âI knew you were gonna be a good neighbor.â
Lori and I look at each other and laugh. Danny struts across the kitchen and pulls Loriâs waist in tight to his but gives her just a sweet kiss on the cheek.
âOh my God!â She bursts out laughing. Danny looks confused, but Lori points at me and screeches, âThat was just it!â
âWhat was what?â he asks.
âNothing,â she says to him.
âWell, on that note,â I say, âIâd better leave you two alone.â
âGood idea,â she says, not even bothering to walk me to the door.
When theyâre finished with whatever they were doing, they come over for dinner. Since Phillipâs mom isnât here, we eat delivery pizza at the kitchen island.
Phillip and Danny both stand and eat. Something she would not approve of.
And that makes me happy in a sadistic way.
âSo, Mac,â Danny says, âdid you know our wives have started hooking up behind our backs? I mean, the least they could do is let us watch if we canât play along.â
Phillip squints at me as Iâm setting down a plate of brownies.
Lori giggles in a way that makes her look guilty.
âWhat are you talking about?â Phillip asks.
âWhen I walked in tonight, your wifeâs hand was on Loriâs ass, and she was kissing her neck. It was pretty hot, Iâll admit. Been a while since the days of two girls kissing.â
âWe werenât kissing, Danny,â I say.
Danny waves his hand at me and goes, âWhatever.â
âDid you do that in college?â Lori asks him. âLike, two girls at once? A threesome?â
Phillip and I remove all expression from our faces. Iâm pretty sure this is not something Lori wants to hear about right now.
I say to her, âOf course not.â Then, I turn to Phillip. âI wasnât kissing Lori. I was demonstrating your sexual tell.â
âMy sexual tell?â
âYeah, what you do when you want sex. You grab my ass and kiss right here on my neck. And Danny pulls Loriâs hips in tight to his, but then he just gives her a sweet little kiss on the cheek.â
âI do, do that.â Danny laughs. âLori has one, too, though. She rubs her hand up under my shirt.â
âSo, we had the ultrasound today,â Phillip says with a beaming smile.
âReally?â Lori says. âWhy didnât you tell us?â
âJJ was nervous,â Phillip says. âWe wanted to be sure everything was okay.â
âAnd?â Danny asks.
âWe have a video,â Phillip says proudly.