âJay, I need to talk to you. Can I come to your office?â
âIâve got a lot going on today, Danny. Can we talk tonight?â
âPlease? I really need someone to talk to.â
âIs everything okay?â
âNot really.â
âDo you want me to reshuffle and meet you for lunch?â
âIâd like to come to your office where no one will overhear what I say.â
âOkay, come to my office then. Iâll order in some lunch.â
A short time later, he shows up at my office, looking like a wreck.
âYou know how I was in LA for a meeting?â
âYeah, howâd it go? Did you decide to do the underwear ads?â
âYeah, I did. But this is about something else. You canât tell anyone.â
âOkay.â
âNot even Phillip. He wonât understand.â
âUmââ
âPromise me.â
âAll right, I promise.â
âWhen I was in LA, I met someone.â
âIâm sure you met a ton of people.â
âYeah, I did, but this particular someone is a girl.â
âOh,â I say slowly, the implications of what heâs trying to tell me sinking in.
âPlease talk to me. I have to talk to someone. Tell me what you consider to be cheating.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âLike, I wouldnât consider flirting with someone as cheating, would you?â
âUm, no. I guess not.â
âWhat about kissing? Making out?â
âWell, I certainly wouldnât want Phillip kissing anyone else. But I suppose, on the cheating scale, itâs toward the bottom.â
âWhat happened with Bradley that night you were at the bar? Nick told me the two of you went in the back, alone.â
âHe leaned into me. Pressed his body against mine. Had his hands on my shoulders, and I thought he was going to kiss me.â
âHow did it feel?â he asks.
âAll wrong.â
âWhat would you have done if it had felt right?â
âProbably wouldnât have gotten married. Danny, why donât you just tell me what happened instead of asking me twenty questions?â
He lets out a deep sigh and starts talking. âOkay, so you know my agent, Carter Crawford.â
âYeah.â
âHis brother is also an agent, but he represents people in the entertainment industry as opposed to sports. He invited me to a party, so I could meet Aiden Arrington.â
âAiden Arrington. Heâs engaged to that hot Hollywood actress, Keatyn Douglas, right?â
âYes. And they own a vineyard. One of their wines is called Moon Wish, which is not-for-profit and raises money for charities.â
âIâve seen the ads for that wine. Keatyn is in them.â
âThatâs right, and they are getting ready to start a new ad campaign. Carter thought maybe Aiden and I could work together. I could be one of the athletes in their advertisements, and they could donate to Diamonds in the Rough.â
âSo, you got to meet Keatyn and Aiden?â
âI did. The party was at their home in Malibu.â
âIs Keatyn as pretty in real life as she is on the big screen?â
âSheâs gorgeous, and they seem very much in love. So, that all went great. I think weâll end up working together. Youâd like them. They seemed very normal.â
âThatâs really cool, Danny. And it would be great for your charity.â
âYeah, I know. So, thatâs all good. Anyway, while weâre talking, this girl bounds up to us. Sheâs cute as can be and a little tipsy. Keatyn introduces me toâyouâre never going to believe this eitherâJennifer Edwards and Knox Daniels.â
âOh my God! Knox is so hot! That Jennifer is one lucky girl. Not only is she our age and has been in huge blockbuster movies, but sheâs also dating Knox Daniels, who was voted one of the sexiest men alive!â
âSounds like you have a crush.â
âI do. Even Phillip knows that Knox is on my list. Like, if I ever meet him, I can have sex with him, and Phillip will understand.â
âWho does Phillip get to have sex with?â
âNo one,â I tease. âActually, Iâm pretty sure his list is full of swimsuit models.â
âSo, are you telling me that I could have slept with Jennifer, and it would have been okay if she were on some sort of celebrity list?â
âWell, theoretically, yes. Uh, but Iâm not sure because youâre really not ever supposed to meet them. Wait. Is Jennifer the girl who it with?â
He nods. âYes. Sheâs all personality. You would love her. Sheâs so freaking funny.â
âYou liked her because she was funny?â
âI mean, of course, sheâs really pretty, but there are a lot of pretty girls in the world.â
âSo, it was her humor that made her different?â
âYeah, and she was fun with a capital F. She flirted with me. Made me laugh. And then â¦â
âAnd then what?â
âWe went for a walk on the beach.â
âShe left Knox freaking Daniels to go for a walk with ?â
âWhat?â he says, holding up his hands. âYou think I canât get the girl?â
âWere you to get her, Danny?â
He rubs his face. âI donât know. Kind of. Yes. Definitely yes. I totally turned on the charm. I couldnât help myself.â
âOh, boy. Did you sleep with her?â
âNo.â
âBut you wanted to?â
âYeah, I did. If I wasnât married, Iâd still be in bed with her.â
âItâs been three days.â
âI know. Um, itâs been a while since Iâve felt that kind of passion. We talked all night on the beach. I told her stuff I havenât even told you. Next thing we knew, the sun was coming up, so we watched the sunrise and then got breakfast. Neither one of us wanted the night to end. She drove me to the airport, and when she dropped me off, I wanted to kiss her so bad. There were so many times that night Iâd wanted to kiss her. She gave me a couple of air kisses that connected and then slowly backed away, like she was testing my self-control. All I wanted to do was devour that sexy mouth.â
âDanny!â
âI know! I know! But I didnât. I kissed her hand, which was almost worse because my lips touched her skin. She told me she wanted to give me something to remember her by.â He rolls up his sleeve, showing me his autographed arm. I also notice there is a heart on top of the I in her name. âI feel like a tween who met his favorite pop star. I donât want to wash it off. And weâve been texting.â
âSo, youâre going to be just friends?â
He shakes his head. âThatâs the problem. It doesnât feel like weâre friends. Although we didnât sleep together, we were emotionally intimate. I realized thatâs what is missing from my relationship with Lori. We haveâwell, âa good physical relationship, but she doesnât seem to get me. She thinks Iâm immature. Really, she thinks we both are. She seems to think being an adult means you canât have any fun, like when she yelled at us for the rubber-band war. Would Phillip have yelled at you for that?â
âNo. He wouldâve gone and gotten a box of them, MacGyvered together some rubber-band machine gun, and whooped us.â
âExactly. Heâs smarter than us. Heâs very organized and responsible, but he still likes to have a good time. And the novelty of learning about football has worn off for Lori. She didnât even attempt to watch the Super Bowl. She talked the whole way through it. Sheâs pissed Iâm leaving for camp. If it wasnât for the money football brings in and the bit of status that goes along with it, she would tell me it wasnât a grown-up job.â
âI noticed sheâs wearing the necklace.â
âDid you also notice she touches it a lot? Especially when sheâs mad at me. Itâs like sheâs rubbing the necklace to remind herself of what sheâd be giving up if she left me. When we got engaged, you said she grounds me. Maybe she did in college, but she doesnât anymore. Iâm not sure she still even likes me. All I know is, I want to kiss my father on the lips for making her sign a prenup. And, if it wasnât for Devaney, Iâd divorce her tomorrow.â
His head is down, and I can tell this is tearing him apart. I put my hand on his leg and give it a little squeeze.
âBut I donât want to be that guy. I want to be with my daughter every day. Sometimes, when Loriâs asleep, I sneak out of bed and just go sit by Devaneyâs crib. Sheâs so beautiful and innocent.â
âSo, what are you going to do?â
He shakes his head. âThatâs why Iâm here, Jay. Iâve been thinking about it for three long days, and I donât know what to do.â
âDanny, I canât tell you what to do. Itâs obvious that youâre not happy in your marriage right now, but I donât think you should be texting Jennifer. Are you still in love with Lori? Do you think things are salvageable?â
âI donât know.â
âWell, we know you used to love her.â
âYeah.â
âWhat did you love about her?â
âHonestly, she was a challenge. The fact that she didnât know who I was. The fact that she didnât know anything about football. She was sort of a novelty. The novelty has definitely worn off.â He studies me. âTell me the truth. Are you and Phillip going through any of this? Are you happy?â
I nervously rub my eyebrow.
âWhat?â he says. âYou can tell me. Please tell me the truth.â
âHonestly, Iâm happier than Iâve ever been.â
âWhy didnât you want to tell me that?â
âBecause I feel bad about it.â
âYou shouldnât. Has your pregnancy been that easy, or do you just suck it up?â
âI donât think any pregnancy is easy, Danny. I was kinda sick the first trimester. I wear out easily. Food is at the top of the priority chain right now, possibly above sex.â I chuckle. âOkay, maybe not. But close. I have weird aches and pains. My feet get sore. I try not to complain, but Phillip also babies me.â
âWhat do you do for Phillip?â
âI keep his beer fridge stocked,â I tease. âI try to give him massages before he goes to sleep. When heâs had a stressful day, he lays his head on my shoulder, and I run my fingers through his hair. And this sounds stupid, but he loves when I rub his temples. He says it takes the stress out of his eyes. We go jogging together. I donât know if thatâs for him or not; we usually donât even talk when we run. But, when we get home, we conserve water by showering together.â
âSo, even as far along as you are, sexy times are still happening?â
âPregnancy hasnât really changed our sex life much. Weâve had to be a little more creative from a timing standpoint. Like, when I was first pregnant, morning sex was out because thatâs when I felt sick. Can I be honest?â
âMaybe. Yes. What?â
âLori doesnât respect you. To me, thatâs the problem in your marriage. She doesnât even speak nicely to you. And, every time she snaps at you, it makes me mad.â
âWhy does it make you mad?â
âCan I quote Phillip on that?â
He laughs. âSure.â
âItâs like youâve lost your balls, Danny. Why do you let her talk to you that way? Why arenât you speaking up when she does something with Devaney that you donât agree with? Youâre a born leader. You can talk just about anyone into anything. Why does she make you back down?â
âI donât know. Phillip chewed my ass for not standing up for you when Loriâs been mean.â
âYou said you would go down with the ship.â
He hangs his head. âI just might.â
âSo, maybe you need to fix the ship instead of letting it sink.â
âSo, weâre back to the same question. What should I do?â
âIf it wasnât for Devaney, what would you do?â
âLeave Loriâs ass and go screw Jennifer for days. And, if it was as good as I imagine it would be, then Iâd probably marry her. On the spot.â
âMarry her?â This is serious. âAt least I wouldnât have to worry about her marrying you for your money,â I joke, trying to make light of it.
âLori also blames me for her not going to medical school, which pisses me off because I encouraged her to go. She acts like she made this big sacrifice for me. I told her just the other day that she should stop bitching about it and go to school if thatâs what she wanted.
âAnd my connection with Jennifer is different. The way we were together reminded me of you and Phillip. I invited her to come to a Nebraska game this fall. Youâll get to meet her.â
âDanny, Iâm not sure â¦â
âThat itâs a good idea?â
âYeah.â
âI can have friends, right?â
âYes, you can have friends. But the fact that you wanted to be more than friends is the part that makes this tricky. It sounds like you need to reconnect with Lori. What if Phillip and I babysit tomorrow night? You can go out to dinner. Talk. Go home. Have uninterrupted sex. Pick Devaney up late or even let her spend the night.â
âThatâs what Jennifer said I needed to do. So, yes, Iâll take you up on that.â
âOkay, but can I make another suggestion?â
âSure.â
âI think you need to talk to someone who has been married for a while. Your dad. Mr. Mac. Someone on your team maybe? Someone you can ask if this is normal after having a baby.â
âActually, someone spoke to me about it. Dirk Nathaniel. He and his wife have four kids. He asked how I was doing after mini camp, said I looked exhausted, and it caught me off guard. I sort of spilled my guts to him. Want to know what his advice was? Get a nanny.â
âThatâs actually not a bad idea, Danny. Maybe, if Lori felt like she got a break, she wouldnât be such a bitch.â
âThatâs what he said.â