Iâm exhausted and headed home from work on Friday afternoon.
Itâs been a long week.
Weâve moved all the office furniture into the new building and added all the decorative touches.
No one has let me do much because Iâm pregnant, but Iâve been on my feet the whole time, overseeing the process. The company grand-opening party is next Thursday, and I want everything to look perfect.
Iâm so incredibly proud of how it has come together, but right now, all I want to do is go home and soak in a warm bath.
Unfortunately, I donât get to do that.
Danny begged me to try to get my friendship with Lori back on track.
I told him she needed to apologize first.
But then he told me that he decided to stop talking to Jennifer. When I asked him why, he said it was because he really liked her, and if he kept talking to her, it would eventually destroy his family.
As I ring their doorbell, I feel torn about his decision. On one hand, Iâm proud of him for being responsible, for not giving up on his marriage, and for making his baby a priority. On the other hand, my heart aches because I want him to be crazy happy in love.
Lori answers the door, and upon seeing me, she says, âWow, youâve gotten huge!â
I rub my growing belly. âI know,â I say sweetly, trying to kill her bitchiness with kindness. âIsnât it exciting? I only have three and a half weeks left.â
âYou know, just because youâve had an easy pregnancy doesnât mean youâll have an easy birth.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âYouâve skated through your pregnancy. That means, youâll have a rough delivery. Itâs just how it works.â
My blood starts to boil. âIt almost sounds like youâre my delivery wonât be easy. Like itâs some kind of sick payback for yours being crappy. And, personally, I think thatâs a pretty shitty thing to say to a friend. Although I donât know why Iâm surprised. You havenât been my friend lately. The only reason I even stopped by is because Danny, who I love, begged me to. And, since you arenât on medication anymore, Lori, what is your excuse for being such a bitch?â
She starts to speak, but I hold up my hand. âDonât bother replying. I already know the answer. You donât have one. And Iâm sick of it. Sick of the way you treat me. Sick of the way you treat Danny. He might be stuck with you, but Iâm not! Have a great life, Lori.â
Iâm pissed off when I march into my house.
Iâm barely through the front door when Phillipâs mom grabs me. âI have a surprise to show you!â
She leads me toward the nursery.
But she has.
Phillipâs old crib is shoved into the corner where the rocker is supposed to go, and there are ugly cartoon animals stuck to the beautiful paint I spent weeks agonizing over.
And thatâs when I lose it.
Tears stream down my face as I storm out of the nursery, grab my suitcase out of the hall closet, take it down to my room, and start throwing stuff in it.
âWhat are you doing?â she asks, following me.
âIâm leaving. Iâm leaving my dream house. Because it doesnât even feel like my home any more.â
âWhat do you mean?â she asks as I slam the suitcase shut and wheel it down the hall.
âI didnât have a picture on the dining room wall because Phillip and I were waiting for the Plaza Art Fair where we were going to find the perfect piece of art. Something that would always remind us of the place we went every year as kids and where we got married. Instead, thereâs some horrible picture of a place in Paris that weâve never been to and wasââI can barely get out the wordsââmass-produced. And we didnât have a kitchen table because we found a beautiful custom table that our kids and friends would carve their names in. But, because the artist only makes one at a time, we have to wait another month before it will be done. And, in the meantime, I have a table that doesnât match the style of my kitchen at all, and not only that, itâs made ofââI start crying harderââpressed wood!â
I storm by the kitchen.
âAnd I freaking hate chickens. No one under fifty has chickens in their kitchen. No one! So, you and Phillip can live here because itâs not even my house anymore.â I grab my portfolio, take out my dream-house sketchbook, and throw it on the counter. âI guess I wonât be needing this anymore. And, just for the record, no one knocks on our front door at night. We were having sex because thatâs what newlyweds are supposed to do!â
I waddle out of the house, slamming the door behind me.
I throw my suitcase in the car and pull out of my driveway.
I have no idea where Iâm going.
Once I get a few blocks from my house, I pull over.
I can barely see the road through my tears.
I donât even know where to go.
I pat the top of my belly as the baby gives me a swift kick in the ribs, and I intuitively know that I need to calm myself down.