The next day passed in a blur of draught-dampened Heat, and she leaned deeply into her prayers, each bite of her meals somehow perfect, seasoned with a nostalgia of a time that was not yet in the past. She slept poorly, dreaming of darkness, of scales against her skin that were not her own.
Finally she had one day remaining, and was gifted freedom from her classes. The morning offering came, she said the words with perfect reverence.
Steady the hands.
Steady the jaw.
Steady the pitch.
There is no self.
She wasnât sure what to do with herself as the others left breakfast for lessons. She sat alone for a moment, helping herself to a winter fig before the Unsung Sisters cleaned up after breakfast. But finally she left, her thoughts nowhere, walking aimlessly until she realized she was standing before her cell. She entered, but couldnât bring herself to sit.
A knock came. It was familiar, softened by hesitation. Tanel.
She opened the door.
He held a plain clay mug cupped in both bare hands. The steam rose thick with licorice root. Her stomach turned at the smell, but she stepped aside to let him in.
Tanel ducked slightly under the lintel, the way he always did, even though he wasnât quite tall enough to bump his head on it. His black hair curled a little with sweat near his temples. He didnât speak at first, just moved to the desk and set the mug down quietly.
âYou didnât come for your draught last night,â he said.
She nodded once. âI forgot.â
It wasnât true. Sheâd remembered exactly when the evening bell tolled. Sheâd just wanted to see how long she could go without it.
He didnât press. He turned the mug so the handle faced her, then took a step back. âThis batch is a little stronger. I added fen bark.â
âFen barkâs so bitter,â she said, with a slight tilt of a smile.
âThatâs the point.â His eyes flicked to hers, then down again. âYou seem well.â
âIâm managing.â She picked up the mug but didnât drink yet. It was too hot. She cradled it in her hands and let the warmth bleed in. Tanel looked like he wanted to say something else. His brow twitched, and he half turned toward the door, then stopped.
âTheyâre calling in the Unsung Sisters today,â he said. âTo bless the baths. They donât always do that this early.â
âSo Iâve been told,â she murmured.They would only do this if they meant to bless the baths twice. The bitter steam stung her nose. âTheyâre taking precautions.â
Because she was Kelthi, but she didnât have to say it aloud.
He nodded.
She sipped the draught. It was worse than usual. It wasnât just the bitterness â the aftertaste had a sharpness to it, something that bit back. She swallowed and closed her eyes. The Heat shifted, then stilled again.
âWill it hurt?â she asked, not looking up.
Tanel didnât answer right away. He moved to the windowsill and leaned there, arms folded. The early light caught in the lines beneath his eyes. He didnât look old, but sheâd seen how his face had changed each year, to soften at the edges.
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âThe resonance?â he asked. âOr the offering?â
âEither.â
He took a breath. âYouâll feel both. But not for long.â
She set the mug down. âI donât want to make a mistake. I donât want to⦠lose the song.â
âYou wonât,â he said. âEven if you do.â He turned to face her fully. âItâs not just yours anymore. I think the Sisters donât explain that properly. Once itâs in you, it⦠remembers.â
She nodded, but the answer didnât settle her. âWill you be there?â
Tanel blinked.
âAt the altar,â she clarified. âWhen it happens.â
His mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out at first, as if he were deciding how honest to be. âThat depends on the High Glinnel.â His voice was careful now, professional. âThe circle may be closed.â
Lain looked away. âI see.â
He stepped forward, not close enough to touch.
âIâll be there if I can,â he said.
She picked up the mug again, drained the last of it, and wiped her mouth with the edge of her sleeve. Tanelâs gaze lingered on the bell at her throat. He stepped to the door as if to leave, then nodded for her. âCome. Bring your shawl.â
She followed.
They didnât speak as they descended the inner stairs, through the gatehouse, past the chapel wing. The day was bright. Her eyes adjusted slowly. Outside the cloister wall, the stone path held pockets of snow where the sun didnât reach; sheâd done well diverting the storm. The wind carried the distant bell-sound from the eastern watchtower, dulled by cold air.
They passed no one. After a few minutes of walking â and when sheâd thought perhaps this was the point of it, just the silence and the motion â he stopped beneath a bent-limbed elder tree that grew between the outer wall and the slope beyond.
Tanel reached into the inner pocket of his robe. He handed her a small cloth bundle, wrapped in faded blue. She unfolded it.
It was a small bell, no larger than the pad of her thumb. It was made of pale ceramic, with a coil pattern around the base. The glaze had spidered in fine lines over time, but it hadnât cracked. The clapper inside was bone.
She turned it in her fingers.
âYou were swaddled with it,â he said. âWhen I found you.â
Lain didnât speak. It wasnât marked by any Dagorlind sigil. It wasnât a design sheâd ever seen before, round and curved sweetly.
She blinked once, the wind stinging her eyes. Or perhaps it didnât.
âThank you,â she said. She slipped it carefully into her jacket pocket.
Tanel nodded. âI wasnât going to bring you anything. But then you said ââ
He paused, then reached into his coat again and withdrew a second bundle. A rough napkin. He unwrapped it carefully.
It was an apple.
Its skin was dimpled, red muted with time, a soft bruise on one side. It had the look of something that had traveled far in a coat pocket.
âItâs not perfect,â he said. âI had quite the time getting my hands on one. No one at market had them. Finally a sweet servant girl from the Cinnebel house tugged at my arm and said they still had a few in their cellar and â well, we met a bargain.â he laughed. âNot sure Iâll be paying that one off any time soon.â
She took it in both hands. The scent hit her first â not fresh, but wild. She bit into it. It was full of the taste of late summer, memory more than fruit. The flesh was soft, a little dry, but still so wonderfully sweet.
The sound it made when her teeth sank into it was louder than she expected. She chewed.
Then she covered her mouth with one hand, and the tears came, and the ache came behind them, like a doorway opening where no door had been before.
Tanel shouldnât have put an arm around her, but she was grateful he did.
âItâs just an apple,â she said, voice small.
âItâs not,â he said.
They turned to face the tree, to stand with their backs to the sun. When sheâd taken another bite, she held it up to him.
He shook his head. âI canât. Itâs yours.â
âDonât make me eat it alone. Itâs too good not to share.â
He chuckled. âI suppose it must be, to get that kind of reaction out of you.â
An unexpected laugh erupted from her and she prodded him in the side with one hand until he acquiesced, taking only the smallest bite. He handed it back to her.
âWell?â she asked.
âItâs good,â he admitted. âBut if youâre expecting tears, youâll have to dip it in caramel.â
They passed the apple back and forth, watching the birds flit from branch to branch.
They only walked back when she was ready.