Stefani slides the basket of bread across the table, offering me a rueful smile.
âBeautiful carbs, how Iâve missed you.â I grab a roll and slather it with butter. Screw dieting. My heart hurts in too many places for a salad to heal.
âYou donât need to diet. Youâre tiny, Lu.â
âItâs because I diet. Iâm five feet tall. If I ate what I wanted, Iâd blow up like a beluga.â
âI highly doubt it,â Stefani snickers. Weâre across the street from the hospital in a pub-style eatery, frequented by medical staff. Sheâs working today, but I havenât drummed up the courage to walk into the unit yet.
I took a few days off to handle my fatherâs injury, but Iâm mostly avoiding Owen. Itâs safer for my heart this way. My hormones arenât speaking to me at the moment, but no matter. My brain is riding shotgun, and it knows that Owen and I are too cosmically connected when weâre in the same room.
Hence, avoidance.
âHowâs your Dad?â
âHe has to go to rehab for a few weeks, but they donât think thereâs any permanent physical damage.â
âDid he know you?â
I shake my head, tears filling my eyes. âHe didnât seem to.â
âLu, he might be having a bad day.â
I nod, but we both know the truth. The fall knocked any remaining remnants of my fatherâs personality from his body.
Stefani toys with her napkin. Oh, I know what sheâs about to ask. Joy of joys. âSoâ¦Owen. Whatâs happening there?â
I shrug, grabbing another roll. Diet, sit down, and shut up. âNothing.â
âJust nothing? He told me heâs called you countless times, but you donât answer. He texts, but you donât respond. He stopped by your apartment last night and the night before, but you werenât home.â
None of this is news. Okay, the visits are a surprise, but my phone is fully aware of how many times Owen called. âI fell asleep at the hospital, so I got home late. Besides, itâs better if I donât see Owen. Seeing him only muddies an already precarious situation.â
Stefani swigs down her soda, tapping her fingers on the table. âWeâve been friends for years. Best friends.â
âRide or die.â
âBut I have no idea why you wonât date doctors.â She holds up her hand, preventing my interruption. âI know, you dated one, and he screwed you out of a job. Lu, that doesnât even make sense. Doctors donât hire nurses, and nurses donât directly report to doctors. Youâre not telling me the entire story. So, if you want me to have sympathy for your plight, spill it, girl.â
But I canât spill it. Not today, possibly not ever. The only person who knows the truth of the situation is Beth, the manager at the womenâs shelter where I volunteer, and it only spilled out during a drunken crying fit.
I run my hand along my right side, feeling the raised areas, now covered by ink. No, Stefani doesnât need to know this ugliness.
No one does.
âI have rules, Stefani. Those rules, however ridiculous they may seem to you, have kept me safe. Iâve been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. My parents did the best they could, but Mom was fragile, and Dad was always working. When you grow up alone, you learn to walk the straight and narrow, because when you donât, should you fall, thereâs no one to catch you.â
Her hand reaches across the table, squeezing mine, her eyes bright. âBut if you never leave that path, you wonât see all the people there waiting to help you. Iâm always here, Lu. That bastard deserves no more of your time or energy.â
âOwen? Youâre right, so heâs not getting any of either.â Am I deflecting? Absolutely. Am I lying? Oh, hell yes.
âSure. That hot, tattooed body hasnât been running through your dreams the last few nights? I know a load of crap when I hear one.â
âHeâs gorgeous. Delicious, in fact. But heâs off-limits. Itâs in the rule book.â
âItâs your lifeâand your rules, Lu, but the man is crazy about you. Maybe you should reconsider those rules as they apply to Owen?â
Thatâs the problem. I have considered it, but I canât get over the crux of the issue. âHe lied, Stefani.â
âI get it. Owen knows it was a shit thing to do. So do I. But you love him.â
âIâll get over it.â
âSo, you two are friends now?â
âWeâre work colleagues. Nothing more.â
âLiar.â
I flip her the bird as we stroll back to the hospital. I wonât admit it to Stefani, but I took extra time getting ready this morning, donning a navy-blue dress that Owen damn near ripped off me during our brief courtship.
Maybe Iâll get the same reaction today, sans any public indecency. I would love to make the bastard drool, though.
We round the corner of the unit, and my heart jumps into my throat.
Standing directly in our line of sight is Nicole Hedges, aka Hot Doc. Iâm serious, thatâs what they call her on the units. Everyone with a penis, and many without, lust over the woman. Right now, sheâs lusting all over Owen.
She isnât even trying to be discreet. Her hand rests on his arm as she bats her lashes in his direction, her high-pitched giggle carrying throughout the unit. Itâs all systems go for Hot Doc.
But itâs Owenâs reaction to her advances that make me see red. Heâs grinning down at her with that wide, dimpled smile that is an equal mix of flirtation and sex god.
Stefani shoots me a pointed look. She knows my fiery temper firsthand and is likely placing bets on how long it takes for my feelings surrounding our new cardiologist to become public knowledge.
Sorry to disappoint, Stef. I will maintain my outward facade of calm, even if Iâm seething on the inside.
I stalk into my office and riffle through papers, my ears keen to the conversation between our two most eligible doctors.
âDid Ken mention that dinner with Sanofi? You must come. It will be a wonderful introduction for you, and theyâre holding it at this five-star seafood restaurant that just opened. Their food is divine. Besides, we can get to know each other better.â
I glance up, catching Owenâs gaze. He knows Iâm hearing every word. If he values his life, or his balls, heâll tread lightly.
âSounds like a plan. Thank you for the invitation, Nicole.â
âIt is black-tie, but Iâm certain you can fill out a suit.â
Is she fucking serious right now? I hold back a gag, pretending to be terribly interested in a staff newsletter. God, I hate women like herâall pretty and confident and sexually brazen.
âI have one just for this type of occasion.â
Wow. If I thought I could hit him from here, Iâd pitch my stapler right at his handsome shaved head. The son of a bitch made plans with another woman.
In front of me.
How typical.
I feel Owen looking at me, but this time, I donât give him the benefit of eye contact. Screw him. Actually, Iâll leave that for Nicole, who likely will be before too long.
âLu, I have a proposition for you. One that will set your panties on fire.â
My head flies up, smiling at Eric, one of the surgical techs. Behind him, I notice Owen hovering, his jaw tense, our roles reversed from only moments ago.
The banter between Eric and me is innocentâwe are strictly work buddies. The man is happily married to Jeff in the Emergency Department. And I mean . Romance film level happy.
But Owen doesnât know that fact. All he knows is some good-looking young guy wants to set my panties on fire.
âA statement like that will certainly get my attention. Whatâs up, Eric?â
âI have someone for you to meet. Get this, he loves punk music, heâs inked, heâs cool as fuck, and sexy as hell. Heâs also off tonight and looking very forward to meeting you.â
I clear my throat, chancing another glance in Owenâs direction. The man is borderline furious. I can continue poking the bear, or I can dead the situation.
As tempting as poking one handsome hunk doctor sounds, Iâm not in the mood for a mid-unit tussle. âI donât know, Eric.â
âI showed him your picture. He thinks youâre beautiful.â
That did it. âTally, can I speak to you for a minute?â I swear Owen is puffing his chest out, as if he needs to look any bigger. He already towers over Eric.
âHey,â Eric grins at Owen, earning a forced smile in return, before swinging his gaze back to me with a shrug. âJust think about it, Lu. You need a good man in your life. Unless youâre dating someone. Itâs been a while since we talked.â
Of all the questions he had to ask, he chose that one. Right in front of Owen.
I mumble the only two words that describe my current situation. âItâs complicated.â
âIsnât everything?â Eric retorts with a wink. âWell, back to the dungeons. See you later, Lu. Call me if you change your mind.â
Owen closes my office door, flipping the latch to the locked position. âWhat the hell was that?â
âBy all means, make yourself comfortable.â
âIâm not kidding. Iâm about to lose my shit.â
He cannot be serious. This man just made plans with another woman in front of me. Now heâs giving me crap? Oh, hell no. âIf youâre having issues, contact HR.â
His fist hits against my desk, making me look up. âOh good, weâre back here. I wasnât sure which Tally Iâd get today.â
âWhich Tally? No doctor, unlike you, I only have one version. And you, I donât make dates in front of the staff or former relations. But then again, I donât lie, either. So, you and I have very little in common.â
Owen huffs as he plops into a chair. âYou went MIA on the man youâre dating. So much for taking the high road.â
I want to hit him. Hard. It wouldnât hurt him, but it would shock him into silence. âWhat the hell are you talking about?â
Owen turns on his phone, scrolling through his call log. âTwenty phone calls and forty texts over the last few days, all unanswered. Not to mention, I stopped by your place the last two nights, but you were conveniently out. Me? I look like an obsessed psychopath.â
I hate how much my heart warms, hearing how desperate he was to see me. Then, my brain reminds my naïve heart that this man made plans with another woman.
Heart, return to icy exterior immediately.
âI didnât think we had anything to discuss.â I speak the words without emotion, but they elicit one from Owen. I swear, the man winces at my statement, and me, being a marshmallow in armor, feels immediate guilt over his reaction. âI turned my phone off last night. I stayed in the hospital with my Dad. I didnât want to leave him.â
Heâs on his feet, his bulk pinning me against the filing cabinet. âIs there any improvement?â
I nod. âHeâs going to rehab tomorrow or the next day.â Thatâs his cue to back up. A cue that Owen ignores as his fingers trace along my collarbone, and I bite back a whimper. This is the trouble with amazing, mind-blowing sex. When it ceases to occur, your brain and body go on strike, and the slightest touch can hurtle you over the cliffs of madness.
Iâm clinging to a bare root on the edge of that cliff.
âIâve been so worried about you, Tally. I havenât heard from you since the other night.â
The night he gave me a hickey, fed me Chinese, and put me to bed. But when I awoke, he was gone. Itâs funny how, after only a couple weeks, Iâm used to his presence.
âYou snuck out.â
âI didnât sneak out. You fell asleep. I had an early call and didnât want to wake you.â
The truth of our reality seeps back in. Heâs off-limits, and the sooner my heart gets with the program, the better. âLook, I have a ton of backlog here. Itâs been a rough few days.â
He presses his forehead to mine. âIâm sorry.â
âFor what?â Itâs an honest question. There are multiple things he can apologize for right now.
âAnything that hurt you.â
âYou hurt me.â
âNot intentionally.â
My anger flares at his qualifier. âYes, intentionally. I donât know what, if anything, I should believe from the last few weeks.â
A muscle ticks in his jaw. âWhat is that supposed to mean? How do you think I feel, Tally? The woman Iâm dating wonât talk to me. For days. Then she waltzes in, looking so good I can barely contain myself, and agrees to be set up with another man!â
I love how he remembers a totally different version of events than the one I took part in. âThat is rich, Dr. Stevens,â I scoff, pushing my hands against his chest. âI didnât agree to anything. You, on the other hand, simpered all over Dr. Hedges. I have a tux just for the occasion.â
He captures my wrists, holding them captive. âThatâs different. Itâs a work event, Tally.â
âItâs not different. Not for her. Itâs a segue. Youâre too smart not to know that, so spare me whatever bullshit excuse you have for making plans with another woman in front of me.â
âI want to take to the dinner.â
âSure you do. I heard you inquire about that part real clearly.â
âI was going toââ Owen takes a step back, running his hand over his beard. âFuck, Tally. Can we please stop fighting?â
âSure. You came into my office, yelling at me and making demands. If youâre quite done, thereâs the door.â
But Owen is an immovable mountain. Heâs not going anywhere.
I have to get back to work. I pull open the filing cabinet, bending over to grab a file. Yes, itâs a cheap party trick, but I never claimed to play fair. Work with what youâve got, right? âSince you wonât leave, what do you want?â
âTo rip off your underwear, bend you over this desk and lick every inch of your pussy until youâre screaming my name.â
I whirl around, my jaw slack, but my body overheating at his words.
âYou asked,â he responds with a wink.
Iâve never met a man with such an obsession for my lady parts. Oh, sure, Iâve met men addicted to sex, but they were more concerned with getting themselves off. Owen loves getting me off. And I love letting him.
The trouble is, sex canât fix our issues.
âItâs all about sex, isnât it? Men are so typical,â I sneer, acting as if his statement didnât send my hormones into an uproar.
âThatâs a load of crap. Why havenât you returned my calls? Weâre never going to work through this if you donât spend time with me.â
A knock sounds at my door, and Owen unlatches it, pulling it open a few inches. Oh, joy. Itâs Hot Doc, come to collect her new man. âHi, Lu. Owen, a few of us are grabbing a drink later. Did you want to join us?â
âNot today, Nicole. Thanks,â Owen replies, his tone clipped, his gaze intent on me.
âAre you sure? Well, hereâs my card, if you change your mind.â She slips him her digits, sending me a pearly smile before ducking out of the office.
Iâve got to hand it to the woman, sheâs persistent.
Owen taps the card against his shoe before shoving it in his pocket. âYou know, I have an answer for all of our issues.â
âHold my head underwater until the voices stop talking?â Iâm kidding. Mostly.
âYouâd better not.â
âIâd totally haunt your ass,â I reply with a smirk. This time, Iâm not joking. I would be his worst phantasmic nightmare.
âI might spend more time with you that way.â At my scowl, he chuckles. âIâm kidding.â
âWhatâs your answer to all our problems?â
Owen pulls me into his arms, his lips capturing mine without warning. Sneaky bastard. Lucky for him, he tastes delicious. âWe tell people that weâre in love and moving in together. That puts all interested parties on notice.â
Just like that, the glitter fades, and the truth rears its ugly head once again. âNot an option.â
âWhy?â
âYou know why. I donât date doctors.â
Owen throws his head back with a groan. âYeah. I heard you the last hundred times. But I donât want you to date some random doctor. I want you to date . I want you to move in with me. I miss you, Darlin.â
See? Thatâs where he gets me, because I miss him, too. I ache for Owen. But this time, I have to protect my heart, a heart that got wounded watching the man I love make dinner plans with another woman.
In. Front. Of. Me.
Love looks better from a distance. Itâs like an impressionist painting. Close up, itâs sticky and messy and riddled with uncertainty. Far safer to keep it at armsâ length.
âOwen, even if I threw out my rule, which Iâm not saying I will, we arenât allowed to be together.â
His eyes narrow at my words. âWhy the hell not?â
He told me a lie. Now itâs my turn to spout one. âWe work together. In the same unit. There are rules against that sort of thing.â
Owen shakes his head, chuckling. âThey never enforce those rules, and you know it. But, just in case, I plan on reading the employee handbook.â
âWhy?â
âBecause I donât believe you, Tally.â
What a smug bastard, being allâ¦right and everything. âWell, now weâre on equal footing. I donât believe you, either.â
Another knock at the door. Like I said, the bitch is persistent.
âSorry to interruptââ
âAgain,â I mutter, forcing a grin in her direction.
âThe rep from Sanofi is here and would love to meet you. Do you have a minute, Owen?â Her face is so eager.
Truth be told, I understand. I fell into Owenâs lap that first night. Literally.
âIâll be right out.â Now itâs Owenâs turn to force a smile. What a banner day weâre having at Memorial.
I cross my arms over my chest, motioning toward the door. âNicole is waiting.â
âTally, so am I. Iâm not going anywhere.â
âExcept to dinner and drinks with Dr. Hedges.â
He rubs his hand over his brow. âNot that I was going to do anything, but I wonât go for drinks or to the dinnerâon one condition. You agree to give us a chance.â
Oh, good. An ultimatum. Either I renege on my morals, or I can watch Owen saunter into the sunset with another woman. âWow,â I manage. Truthfully, itâs about all I manage as my anger careens into the red. âYou have some nerve.â
âI donât mean it like that, Tally. Iâm desperate to spend time with you.â
âI told you, we arenât allowedââ
âBullshit. Thatâs complete garbage, and you know it. Youâre so unwilling to bend your own rules that you would rather let me walk away? I know you love me, Tally. God knows that I adore you. Why isnât that enough?â
âYou lied to me. You betrayed me, Owen.â I blink back tears. âMy faith in people is all I have, and you broke it. Then you make plans with a beautiful woman in front of me. What did you think would happen? Did you think that would make me cave? You hurt me, and then you hurt me again, and now Iâm the bad guy? No way.â
âItâs not a date, Tally. But youâre right. I will speak to Nicole and let her know Iâm involved.â
I shrug, chewing my lip. âBut youâre not. Youâre a free man, and youâve already made plans with her. On multiple occasions, and in front of me, I might add. Have fun.â The words fall like acid from my mouth, destroying everything the sound waves touch.
His eyes blaze at me, and I swear heâs going to throw something. âFucking great. Thanks for that, Tally.â
He storms out of the office, and for once, I donât care whoâs watching.