âIâll wait for you in the car,â I mutter, pulling the keys from my pocket and storming out the front door.
Itâs not the friendliest gesture, but itâs the best I can manage.
To think the day started on such a promising note.
Tally and I spent the last couple of hours at the womenâs shelter, sans Beth, who was at the hospital, functioning as a victim advocate.
Marla, the newest resident, is skittish as a beaten dog. The bruises covering her slight frame prove that my assessment is on target. Her son, Brad, is in better shape physically, although I canât fathom what the boy has witnessed in his young life.
But theyâre no match for Tally. My tiny vixen exudes a quiet power. She knows firsthand what itâs like to live in fear, and although she wonât disclose the details, I see the terror living in her eyes. The son-of-a-bitch better pray I never meet him. He wonât make it three steps. Iâll make damn sure he pays for what he did to Tally.
âDo you like card tricks?â Tally asks Brad, winking at me over his head.
âI love them! Can you show me a card trick?â
âNo, but I can,â I interject, settling down next to the boy. At first, he shirks away, his natural fear of men coming into play.
But Tally is smart. She knows that Bradâand Marlaâneed to learn that not all men are evil. Not all men hurt. Not all men hit.
Hopefully, my darling girl can figure that out right along with them.
I flip through the cards, showing Brad the trick Iâve performed countless times. His eyes widen, and he chuckles, a genuine belly laugh that is the most incredible sound Iâve heard in ages.
I spend the next fifteen minutes showing Brad the sleight of hand behind the trick, before gifting him the deck of cards. Itâs the best five dollars Iâve ever spent.
I find Tally in one of the bedrooms, her arms wrapped around Marla as the woman weeps. Itâs impossible to know if they are tears of anger, frustration, sadness, or denial. Likely all of those emotions.
âI didnât mean to interrupt. Iâll wait in the kitchen.â
Tally shoots me a grateful smile before returning to her unofficial counseling session.
âMay I help you?â
I turn to see Beth standing in the kitchen doorway, a guarded expression on her face. I suppose men arenât a welcome sight in this house. Canât say that I blame them. âSorry to startle you. We met the other day. Iâm here with Tally.â
Her eyes widen in recognition. âHello, Dr. Stevens. I apologize, I didnât recognize you from behind.â
âNo worries, sorry I crept up on you.â
âItâs fine. Weâre happy to have you here. Where is Lu?â
I smile at my girlâs nickname. Everyone in the world calls her Lu. âIn the back with Marla. How did she get the nickname Lu?â
Beth contemplates the question for a moment before shrugging. âIâm not sure. You donât call her Lu, do you?â
âI call her Tally, but it seems only her father and I do that.â
She snaps her fingers as if a lightbulb of realization sparked in her brain. âForgive me for being forward, but didnât you and Tally date? I didnât realize you were still friends. Thatâs nice.â
âFigures you two would hole up in here,â Tally interjects, joining us in the kitchen. âBeth, you remember Dr. Stevens.â
âI do. We were just touching on your dating history.â
Tallyâs eyes widen, her gaze swinging between us. âWhy were you discussing that?â
âWell, itâs nice when two people remain close after a break-up,â Beth states, pulling groceries from the bags.
âRight,â Tally sighs, nodding in agreement. âDr. Stevens is a wonderful man. It would be an enormous loss if we werenât friends.â
I hope she can feel me burning holes into her, waiting for her to admit that although we did break up, we are very much together again.
Iâll be waiting for a long time.
Instead of confessing the actual status of our relationship, Tally changes the subject. My blood runs hot as I realize sheâs not going to divulge anything. Not today, possibly not ever.
Once again, Iâm a dirty secret. The details are different, but this is a repeat of the situation with my ex, Charlotte. She came from moneyâoodles of it, and her Daddy disapproved of her slumming it with a studentâa tatted, hardcore student, to boot.
Charlotte didnât want to anger her father, so she never brought me around to any public place. God forbid anyone saw together us. But her father was no fool. Mr. Auerback met me outside my university one evening, with a bribe to stop seeing his daughter. I should have accepted the offerâit was ten grand, and I was brokeâbut I tore up the check and tossed it in his face.
It wasnât until I started working as a cardiologist that he even deigned me worth speaking to; it wasnât until I helped spearhead the robotic cath lab that he approved of my relationship with his daughter.
I thought, when I left San Francisco, that Iâd escaped that feeling. A gnawing in the pit of my stomach that Iâm not enough. At least not to be seen in the light.
Such bullshit. Iâm a good-looking, smart guy with a wicked talent in cardiology. I know this. But sometimes, when I look in the mirror, all I see is the man who doesnât fit the bill.
Tallyâs behavior just proved my reflection right.
But this time, Iâm not sticking around to be shoved into a corner. Fuck that.
Tally opens the car door not five minutes later, but Iâm no calmer. If anything, my aggravation has reached new heights.
âEverything okay?â she questions, sending me a quizzical look as she fastens her seatbelt.
I have two options. I can pretend that everything is fine, or I can let her have it. With both barrels. I understand that option one is a safer route, but my emotions are too twisted to care.
âEverything is fucking great. Canât you tell?â I jerk the car out of the parking spot, my foot leaden on the gas pedal.
âOwen, what the hell is going on? Did something happen at the shelter?â
I swerve to the side of the road, throwing the car into park, before turning my glare on her. âNo, something happen at the shelter, thanks to you.â
âIâm trying to decipher what youâre talking about, but youâre not making any sense.â
Running a hand over my scalp, I release an agitated huff. âAre you ashamed of me?â
Her eyes widen with shock. âAbsolutely not. I think youâre way out of my league.â Her hand touches my forearm, but I jerk it away. âWhy would you ever think that?â
âI guess weâre fuck buddies, huh? Good to know,â I mutter, gritting my teeth. âAre we exclusive, or do I get to whore myself all over town?â
That did it. Now Tally is as pissed off as I am.
Good.
âWhat the hell is your problem? Do you to whore yourself all over town? Go ahead, donât let me stop you. Iâm sure you have an open-ended invitation with Nicole.â
âLeave her out of it.â
âAww,â she hisses, her eyes narrowing, âdid I upset you when I dissed your girlfriend?â Tally throws open the car door. âScrew this shit. Iâm out of here. Go live your life, however you choose. Iâm done.â
I reach across the interior of the car and grasp her arm, preventing her exit.
âLet me go, Owen.â
âNo,â I reply, tightening my grip.
She swings her gaze to me, as those soft, dark eyes fill with tears. âWhy would you say something like that? Why would you ruin a beautiful day?â
âWhy would , Tally?â
âWhat did I do?â she screams, throwing her hands up in frustration.
I scrub my face with my hands. I have to calm down. The two of us are combustible when weâre both heated. Especially when that heat is fueled by insecurities. âWhy didnât you tell Beth that we were together?â
Everything freezes at that moment, and for the first time, Iâm not confident that we can overcome our differences. Tally might make me pay for my deception forever.
When she finally speaks, her voice is low. Uncertain. âIâm not sure what we are, Owen.â
âYouâre not? I thought we patched up everything last night.â
âBecause we had sex?â Tally scoffs. âIs that why you think everything is hunky-dory? That the lie you told and the fact that youâve been hanging out with Dr. Hedges would magically disappear when you gave me an orgasm? Please, tell me that isnât what youâre saying.â
How did I end up in the hot seat again? âSo, last nightâand this morningâmeant nothing?â
She grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. âIt always means something with you, Owen. Iâm the woman who didnât have sex for two years, remember? Iâm hardly the type to fall into bed with people. Until you, anyway.â
Itâs her attempt at levity, but Iâm not in a jovial mood. Iâm angry and hurt and beginning to realize that I have little right to be.
âI donât want to do this halfway, Tally. Iâm not looking for a no-strings fuck buddy. Not with you.â
âYouâre turning down every manâs dream,â she snorts. âIâm joking. Please smile.â
âNot in the mood for smiling right now.â
She fiddles with her long braid, her nerves apparent. âIâm scared, Owen.â
I grasp her chin, forcing her to look at me. âOf what? Me? Us? A future together? What scares you? I told you that first night, I canât fix it if I donât know what youâre thinking.â
âI was furious that you lied to me and more furious with myself that I didnât figure it out sooner. But then, it seemed like the moment you walked into the hospital, you were surrounded by all sorts of women, begging for attention.â
âTally, I donât want those women.â
âThen why did you spend time with Nicole? You knew she was after you, but you did it anyway. Hell, you gave me an ultimatumâforgive you or youâd shack up with another woman.â
What the hell? I didnât say thatâ¦did I? âThat is how I meant it, Tally.â
âYou sure about that? I think itâs exactly how you meant it. Now youâre angry because Iâm not jumping straight into the relationship ring with you again. Our situation is complicatedââ
âNo,â I cut her off, shaking my head, âitâs not. I want to know where I fit into your life. Do you want to be with me or not?â
She wipes away a few stray tears. âI do, Owen. But we work together, and after what happened to me before, Iâm terrified of enduring that again. I donât think I could survive it twice.â
I slam the steering wheel, making Tally jump. I cringe from my action, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. âIâm sorry, I didnât mean to scare you. I would never hurt you, Tally.
I would take a bullet for you.â
âYou better not,â she warns, clasping my hand again.
âHow long will I be chasing ghosts, Darlin? Iâm sorry that scumbag hurt you. Iâm not him, but you need to figure that out because I can tell you until Iâm blue in the face, and you wonât believe me. And until you believe me, you wonât let me anywhere near your heart. I worship more than your body, Tally. I want the entire package. Iâm not willing to settle for having pieces of you.â
Tally chews her lip, her gaze averted. Well, the ball is in her court. Iâve laid out what I want, but she has to decide if sheâs on board with that decision. âCan we keep it quiet?â At my frustrated groan, she squeezes my hand. âOnly at work, and only for the time being. Let me wrap my head around everything. Iâm sorry, but with our situation and my father getting injured, Iâm a bit out of sorts. Can you please compromise with me on that?â
I want to hold out, but when her lips press to my hand, I cave. Iâm such a pussy for this woman. âWe arenât dating anyone else, right?â
I expect a sigh of relief, but her eyes darken until they shine black. âIs that something you want?â
âNo, Iâm just asking. Christ, Tally.â How do I keep managing to step in it? Every. Damn. Time. âDo you think Iâd be jumping through hoops if I wanted anyone else? Come on, give me some credit.â
A smile splits her face. âSorry, I got a bit defensive.â
âI take the cake on that one, Darlin. Today, at least. Just donât push me away. Iâll play by your rules, but I really hope youâll want to play by our rules soon.â
âFair enough,â she whispers, leaning across the car to offer a chaste kiss.
Screw that. I need passion, and I need it now. I grasp both sides of her face, pushing my tongue into the sweet recesses of her mouth. My fingers twist in her dark locks, and a low groan sounds from us both when her hand settles on my cock. âI need inside you.â
She laughs, that husky, âI want to rip your clothes off,â chuckle that is my own personal Viagra. âThankfully, weâre only a few minutes from the apartment. Think youâll make it?â
âI donât know,â I mutter, pulling back onto the highway, bucking my hips when she scratches her nails over my bulge. âYou keep doing that, and we wonât make it another ten feet.â
But my tiny vixen doesnât listen. All Tally hears is a challenge. Get me as hot as she can, while I canât do anything about it. By the time I pull into her driveway, Iâve damn near busted a nut. But once I shut off the car, she knows.
Iâll torture her with orgasms the rest of the night.