Knoxville
Lying in this hospital bed, the gown theyâve given me feeling too thin and flimsy. Fearâs got a tight grip on me. I canât shake the worry that this IVF wonât work, just like it didnât for his wife. I thought I was ready for the discomfort, and the pain, but the reality of it all has me reeling, caught off guard by the intensity.
Leonardâs on his way to see me, but part of me, the part thatâs scared and vulnerable, wishes he wouldnât.
Itâs too much, too real.
Mariahâs sitting right next to me, her presence a balm to my frayed nerves. Just having her here makes everything a little more bearable, even if itâs just a tiny bit.
âSo, his lawyer is coming instead of him?â she asks, and I hear the frustration in her voice.
âYeah,â I answer, feeling a swirl of disappointment and confusion. Why isnât he coming himself?
âWhy didnât he come? I thought you said he was,â Mariah probes further, her eyes searching mine for answers I donât have.
âThatâs what he made me believe,â I admit, feeling a sting of betrayal. âWhen we talked, he made it seem like heâd be here, in Knoxville, tonight. But then, out of nowhere, he changed his mind. I donât understand it.â
Mariah lets out a sigh, and I can tell sheâs disappointed too. âItâs not fair to you,â she says softly.
I nod. âI know,â I whisper. âI had all these ideas in my head, you know? Like heâd walk through that door, be here for me. But now, itâs just his lawyer. Itâs like heâs keeping his distance on purpose.â
Mariah takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. âWeâll get through this, no matter what. Youâre strong, Simone. Donât forget that.â
Her words are meant to comfort me, but they stir something in me, a mix of gratitude and a fierce determination. Iâm in this, deep and irrevocably. The fear, the disappointment, itâs all part of this journey. And with Mariah by my side, I feel just a bit more ready to face whatever comes next.
âWell, Aisling is back now. I guess itâs hard for him to leave,â I try to reason out his absence, even though deep down, Iâm not convinced.
Mariah looks at me, skeptical. âHe could have made up an excuse. Itâs not that hard,â she points out.
âHe could have, yeah. Itâs Friday, after all,â I agree. It would have been so easy for him to be here.
âDo you think he would have come to see you?â Mariah asks, her eyes piercing mine.
âWhy?â I ask, not sure where sheâs going with this.
âWouldnât people recognize him?â she presses, her tone serious now.
I try to lighten the mood, âWith a cap, glasses, and a fake mustache? He could easily hide.â
She nods, but thereâs no humor in her eyes. âRight,â she says, but itâs clear sheâs not really convinced.
The frustration Iâve been trying to keep at bay bubbles up. âI hate his lawyer,â I say, the words laced with anger.
âMe too,â Mariah quickly agrees. âYou too, right?â
I nod. âYeah. Heâs so rude. I still remember the way he talked to me last time. It was so condescending.â Itâs like he doesnât trust us.â
Mariahâs eyes harden. âExactly. Heâs just stupid.â
Just then, her phone starts ringing, cutting through our conversation. She fishes it out of her bag, her expression changing as she looks at the screen.
âWhoâs that?â I ask, my curiosity heightened despite everything.
âItâs my mom,â she says, and her voice softens. She steps away to take the call, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Lying there, I canât help but feel a mix of emotions. Thereâs the lingering disappointment in him, the frustration with his lawyer, and this underlying fear about the IVF. Itâs all a jumbled mess in my head, and I wish more than anything that things were simpler, that he was here, and that I wasnât lying in this hospital bed, feeling so utterly alone.