The act of crying over wrongdoing seems a bit unfair.
If you are definitely at fault, tears become a cowardly tool.
What a thing to say.
If you have done something wrong, the thing to do is not to cry.
All you have to do is to apologize sincerely.
But I was crying cowardly.
I couldnât stand Shihoâs kindness when I realized that I couldnât stand it.
âEh? Ah, ja? Ko-Kotaro-kun,⦠are you crying? Iâm not going to let you cry like that. Iâm going to cry too. Itâs all right, itâs all right now, okay? Iâm right next to you, okay?â
I guess she didnât expect me to cry.
Shiho came close to me and rubbed my back soothingly.
âNo⦠this is, you knowâ¦â
In a panic, I wiped away my tears.
I try desperately to pretend Iâm not crying, because I didnât mean to.
But the tears just wouldnât stop. No matter how many times I wiped them away, they kept flowing out one after another.
âIf you rub so hard, youâll get red and swollen â¦Iâll wipe it with my handkerchief, okay? Donât take away my expertise, Iâm the one who has to cry.â
Jokingly, she wiped my tears with the handkerchief she had taken out.
A gentle hand, like stroking.
It was like a puppy being groomed by its parent dog, and it was somewhat embarrassing.
I was definitely being treated like a child.
But I canât complain about that. Iâm sure anyone would have reacted this way if I had suddenly started crying.
âDo you feel any pain? Is there something wrong with you? Or did I say something bad? Can you tell me why you are crying? Iâll make it go away, okay?â
âNo.
Itâs not Shihoâs fault, itâs not that something hurts, itâs not that Iâm not feeling well.
These tears did not flow out due to suffering.
âItâs because Shiho is ⦠kind.â
Because of that, the tears overflowed.
This girlâs kindness was so warm that I lost my strength, or rather, the emotional strings that had bound me so tightly were loosened.
âI didnât expect you to forgive me.â
I thought I had hurt her.
I thought I would make Shiho feel bad because of me.
Because this girl loves me with all her heart.
She would be jealous, she would be sulking, she would be angry â thatâs what I assumed.
But she didnât seem to have any of those feelings.
âItâs not surprising, you know. I donât think Kotaro-kun would do something to hurt me on his own. Usually, Iâm a little jealous of him. But thatâs only half in fun,⦠and I mean Iâm not very smart,⦠but Iâm not so stupid that I canât understand how you feel.â
Itâs at times like this⦠that I feel strongly.
Shiho really is a pure girl.
She is so clear.
Her skin color is the same as the color of her hair, so clear and beautiful.
Therefore, she can believe in me.
I donât doubt it one bit, so even though Iâm in a situation like now, I still donât feel a shred of bad about it.
âThere is no way that Kotaro-kun would fall in love with anyone but me.â
And her words are full of confidence.
Shiho doesnât do the pathetic thing that I do, which is to be humble and self-deprecating.
âtâs a given that Iâm the one you love â¦â¦ as you are the one I love⦠It doesnât matter what you do with other girls. I love you, Kotaro-kun, and I know that you love me.â
For the charge of repentance, Shiho, with a merciful and kind heart, offered forgiveness.
That did not make my sin any lighter.
But it was true that my ⦠heart became easier to bear.
Shiho is still a benefactor to me.
Whenever Iâm going through a hard time or suffering, she always comes to my rescue.