CH 42

If you don’t resent or get angry, then forget it

The carriage came to a halt in front of the grand house, from which she had been estranged for many years. The imposing door bore the inscription “Prince Yu’s Mansion” in large seal script.

After returning to the capital at the age of sixteen, Murong Yan had encountered numerous trials and tribulations in the thirteen years that followed. Now that she was back here, she felt as though she had traveled through time.

A good-looking young man dressed in armor and a red robe paced nervously back and forth by the gate. At the sight of the carriage that had journeyed a great distance, he finally eased up and broke into a smile.

“Yue’er!” he exclaimed.

The man who had been stationed in the military camp for years called out Murong Yan’s childhood nickname, ignoring formalities as he opened the carriage door and extended his hand to assist her. However, he was taken aback by the small tiger that tumbled out of the carriage.

“Elder brother,” Murong Yan lifted her dress and silently accepted Murong Can’s hand, taking slow, dragging steps as she disembarked from the carriage.

“The journey must have been exhausting for you, Yue’er,” Murong Can observed his younger sister, who now appeared weak and hobbled, with half of her hair already turned white. She was as frail as a willow branch and seemed like she could be toppled over by a mere gust of wind.

Upon seeing her, he felt not only surprise but also an overwhelming heartache that he could not contain.

Murong Yan maintained a calm and impassive demeanor as she entered the mansion with the man, while the little tiger trailed behind, trotting along and curiously sniffing at everything in the unfamiliar surroundings.

After traversing a vast garden and a fish pond, the surroundings became unfamiliar to the woman. As they approached the main hall, Murong Yan signaled to the little tiger to remain outside and play before she entered with her older brother.

Seated at the head of the hall was Prince Yu, draped in a red python robe and sporting an exceedingly long beard. Despite his advanced age, he remained vigorous due to his long-standing martial arts practice, and his complexion was still ruddy.

Although the princess consort of Prince Yu had passed away, the seat next to him was not vacant. A woman adorned in exquisite attire sat upright, exhibiting the posture of a lawful wife. Beside her sat a slightly older young man in a blue shirt, who appeared thin and frail, making it difficult to discern that he was born into a martial arts family.

Murong Yan approached Prince Yu slowly, disregarding the presence of her stepmother and stepbrother beside him, and courteously bowed to her father.

“Thank you for your hard work during the journey, Yue’er,” Prince Yu addressed his daughter, who had undergone a significant transformation in appearance due to their extended separation. He then paused and inquired, “Is everything well in the capital?”

“The Crown Prince staged a rebellion, and the Emperor passed away. I presume Father has already received the news,” Murong Yan replied, showing no interest in engaging in idle chatter.

She retrieved a cloth bag from her sleeve and presented the edict and the tiger charm to Murong Can, who stood by her side. “Before his demise, the late Emperor issued a decree that the throne should be passed on to the Eleventh Prince and entrusted this daughter with the responsibility of informing Father. Please aid the Eleventh Prince in ascending to the throne, Father.”

Realizing the urgency of the situation, Murong Yan understood that she needed to convince the man in front of her as soon as possible.

Prince Yu’s expression darkened as he received the items from Murong Yan and inspected them in silence for a prolonged moment.

“Father,” Murong Yan interjected, “This was the late Emperor’s final request.”

Seated high on the main throne, Prince Yu glanced at his daughter, but then hesitated as he stowed away the edict, stating, “This is a perilous matter. The Crown Prince has already established himself in the Eastern Palace, and it would be more fitting for him to ascend to the throne. I am unsure…”

Murong Can furrowed his brow in confusion upon hearing his father’s hesitation and spoke up, “Father, you hold both the military order and the late Emperor’s edict declaring the Eleventh Prince as the rightful heir. It is only reasonable to assist him in ascending the throne.”

However, their half-brother, Murong Wen, who had been quiet until then, interrupted, “Let Father decide on this matter, Brother. Do not interfere!”

Murong Wen was about to say more, but his eyes met with Murong Yan’s, who had lifted her head.

Her expression was cold and contemptuous, and she silently stared at him, causing Murong Wen, who had always considered her as his legitimate younger sister, to involuntarily fall silent.

Murong Can pondered for a moment and then tried to persuade his father once again, “If we don’t support the Eleventh Prince, he will have no way out in the capital. Allowing the Crown Prince to ascend the throne will lead to corruption and greed among the court officials, and this will not only delay the supply of grain and forage to the Northern Border, but also put us at risk of being attacked by the barbarian court.”

“But… this…”

Prince Yu remained indecisive, looking at the edict and then at his daughter. He spoke with hesitation, “Yue’er, this is a delicate matter that requires careful handling. The Crown Prince has the rightful position in the Eastern Palace, and his maternal relatives hold considerable power. I’m afraid…”

Despite anticipating her father’s response, Murong Yan couldn’t help but feel irritated by the farce unfolding in front of her.

As the woman pondered over the uncertain fate of Ming Qin, whom she was trying to protect, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness and absurdity about everything that had happened.

In a bitter tone, she curled her lips and remarked, “It’s amusing how Father can easily slay barbarians, yet he struggles to eliminate bandits and corruption within the court to fulfill his own elder brother’s final wish.”

She paused briefly before asking, “Does Father not feel any remorse?”

Her voice was firm and unwavering.

“Risking one’s life for the country on the border, only to be suffocated by the shackles of food and supplies, doesn’t that cause frustration?” Murong Yan took a step forward, her tone devoid of any pretense.

Pausing for a moment, she continued, “Doesn’t Father feel any anger?”

She lifted her skirt, revealing the cold glint of her artificial limb as she sneered, “His own daughter had her leg severed in a premeditated attack, and was held hostage in a tall tower by the Crown Prince for six years. Doesn’t that arouse his anger?”

“If you don’t feel resentful or angry,” she added, the curve of her lips disappearing.

Murong Yan gazed up at her father, standing tall above her, and spoke with fervor. “Why is it so hard for you to raise an army for justice, support the Eleventh Prince’s ascension to the throne, stay loyal to our family, seek revenge, and eliminate the Crown Prince’s faction?”

“What is stopping you, Father?”

The main hall fell silent as Murong Yan’s passionate plea hung in the air, and even Prince Yu remained quiet.

“If you don’t feel resentful or angry…”

As Murong Yan looked at the man in front of her who remained silent, her already icy heart began to grow numb.

With a hoarse voice, she sighed, “Forget it then.”

Turning away, she seemed indifferent to whether or not she had convinced her father.

She couldn’t bear to remain in that stifling room any longer, as her desire to protect Ming Qin filled her heart and provided the only source of warmth remaining within her.

Only Ah Qin, only Ah Qin.

Ah Qin would be angry unconditionally for her own plight, and cry for her when faced with injustice.

Murong Yan grabbed the hair tie wrapped around her wrist.

It was as if only by holding it tightly could she breathe.

“Yue’er! Yue’er!”

As soon as dinner was over, Murong Can hurried to Murong Yan’s courtyard and knocked on her door.

When she answered, he burst into the room with a smile on his face.

“Yue’er, Father has agreed! We’ll march with the troops as soon as the snow melts in early spring next year.”

Murong Yan remained seated on the cushioned wooden chair, her face betraying little emotion upon hearing the news brought by her twin brother, Murong Can. Without a word, she poured him a cup of clear tea, which he gratefully accepted and took a sip from.

It had been eleven long years since they last saw each other, when their mother had passed away. As he savored the familiar warmth of the tea brewed by his sister, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over him.

“Yue’er, please don’t be angry with Father. He has his reasons,” Murong Can spoke up, attempting to console his beloved twin sister.

“What reasons could Father possibly have?” Murong Yan retorted, her voice tinged with frustration.

Murong Yan calmly finished her tea before responding, “What kind of situation could make a husband refuse to personally bury his own wife, a father neglect his daughter’s imprisonment for years, and a minister defy the Emperor’s orders?”

“Is it because of the barbarians?” she sneered. “It’s simply because he’s far away and chooses to turn a blind eye.” She slammed her cup down on the table, causing a loud noise.

Looking at her brother, Murong Yan continued with a hint of sadness, “Brother, there’s no need to make excuses anymore.”

“Yue’er…” Murong Can was at a loss for words, gazing at the transformed Murong Yan before him. He felt a pang of sadness and longing, “I’ve missed you so much.”

He reminisced about their childhood, when they would ride horses together across the vast grasslands. Her radiant smile could outshine even the sun breaking through the clouds.

When she was sixteen, Murong Yan and their mother traveled to the capital. While Murong Can was fighting on the battlefield, he heard about her dazzling performance at a poetry gathering during the Spring Festival. It was no surprise to him that she had captured the hearts of all the young men.

At twenty-one, he learned of her heroic bravery in defending the Emperor against three assassins during the autumn hunt. Despite losing her right leg, he felt both proud and saddened by her unyielding loyalty and courage.

After many years of separation, Murong Can was finally holding his sister in his hands, who was once as bright as a spring flower. However, he couldn’t help but notice how emaciated and lifeless she had become, as if she had been trampled upon by someone.

With a heavy heart, he explained, “Yue’er was sent to the capital as a hostage.”

These few words were surprisingly heavy.

What on earth had happened?

Could it be true, as the rumors suggest, that the reason behind her captivity was the Crown Prince’s unrequited love?

“… Yue’er, can you share with me what happened to you?” Murong Can’s voice was parched. Despite being almost thirty years old and renowned as the undefeated general, he still felt lost when confronted with his beloved sister.

“It doesn’t matter what we talk about… as long as Yue’er wants to talk to me.”

She gazed at Murong Can, the only person she still had some attachment to in Prince Yu’s mansion, and recounted her escape from the capital, her arduous journey, and how she evaded her pursuers.

As she mentioned Ming Qin, Murong Yan kept her emotions in check and swiftly moved on, as if revealing any hint of her feelings would unleash the pent-up sorrow within her.

Despite the brevity of her account of the treacherous journey, it was enough to set Murong Can’s heart racing.

Before he could respond, a commotion interrupted them. A growling voice, akin to that of a wild animal, and a child’s enraged cries could be heard coming from the entrance.

“Ah! You little beast, how dare you hurt me? Guards, seize it and beat it to death!”

The chaotic footsteps of several servants echoed through the corridors of Murong Yan’s mansion, accompanied by the cries of a young and tender voice belonging to a small animal.

“Get rid of the creature that dared to bite this young master! Kill it!”

Murong Yan’s face contorted as she ignored Murong Can’s offered hand, hastily making her way towards the door to investigate the commotion.