Chapter 22: The Choice
Tears burned my eyes and I didn't know the reason why.
Just hearing his voice was a huge source of comfort to me.
It always has been since the day we met.
He just had a certain aura about him; it didn't only come in his voice but also his presence, his touches and his eyes.
Those strangely beautiful silver eyes.
Everything about him had been out of the norm since day one but within that, there was a sense of gravity pulling me towards him. It was as if I knew he had something to do with me. I had a hunch that he would play a role in my life or had played a role in my life, however fleeting it was. I knew Angelo represented something greater for me.
It was a pity that I just couldn't remember it at all.
He lifted his head and it took a lot of effort for me to reopen my eyes. To meet that searing stare of hisâto become accepting of the twinkles that light reflected onto his irises. When I did, the tears slipped free before I could control myself and he cupped my chin.
He didn't look the least bit surprised as I trembled in his hold.
There was a surge of emotion coming from deep within me, something so ancient, hidden. I couldn't decipher what it was and why I was suddenly feeling so much for this man that I hadn't before.
But his words...
It was his words.
"Your heart is the reason for my existence, Isabelle."
They felt nostalgic and the weight of them made me want to cry whether I wanted to admit it or not.
"You feel it, don't you?"
My eyes blinked at him through the wet lashes, "Feel what?"
"Our bond reconnecting."
"What bond?"
His eyes dimmed a bit at my question, the elation he had been suppressing at me showing such a reaction to his affectionate words disappeared.
"I'll explain it to you some other time," he said and kissed my forehead before getting up.
I wiped my eyes. "Now seems to be a better time than ever. Why do you always tell me things in fragments? I'm already confused as it is by you entering my life and everything that comes with it. You acting like this doesn't help me understand anything at all, Angelo." My body shook with fury, not at him, but at the feeling of not knowingânot remembering while everyone else did. "IâI hate it so much."
He looked hurt by that.
He scrambled to me and his voice was carefully casual. "I'm not trying to hide anything from you, Isabelle. I'm trying not to overwhelm you all at once. It's not just a day's or week's worth of information you've forgotten, it's centuries. I don't want to pressure you."
"I'm already pressured. Do you think I feel comfortable with the way you look at me with such affection in your eyes and I don't know what to doâ"
"You don't have to do anythingâ"
"I want to!" I shouted and he winced at it.
I'd actually managed to make him show signs of cowering.
I wasn't pleased by it though.
I felt awful and guilty seeing him uncomfortable but I had to air out my concerns.
"I want to, Angelo," I said much quieter. "I want to know of the past between you and me, no matter how gruesome and toiling it was. I want to be able to relate to whatever stupid jokes Cupid tosses my way. I want to understand the eternal damnation that Genie was at risk to meet that being best friends with a shitty humanâ" His nostrils flared. "Was a better choice on her part. I want to forgive her for her deceits." His eyes softened at that.
"But most of all, I want to remember us."
His breath hitched.
"I want to remember how to react to your gazes, your touches and how to reciprocate your...your feelings. I want all of that and more, Angelo. So please, tell me."
His throat bobbed. "Do you think I don't want you to remember?" Within that gaze of his was mercury so thick and complicated, it swirled with vexation. "I want you to remember us. God, I want you to remember me so badly. I had sworn to surrender everything I have to the heavens just so I could have you before me right now and you think I don't want you to remember?"
He had done what?
His skin was luminescent, flared with a blinding light I had never seen before as he came closer. His chest heaved as stars sparked between the complexities of his eyes.
And before I knew it, it was like a hurricane had begun forming inside the room.
Misty shadows loomed in all four corners, gathering from the floors and swirling all around in the background.
My mouth gaped at him as his powers grew into a stronger form of whatever this was.
I was scared to move, in case it would set off some kind of trigger reaction, so I remained on the bed. The safest place in this room.
"I've wanted you to remember me the second I found you in this mortal world. I was heartbroken to know that you still hadn't recovered your memoriesâa punishment I was willing to bear for the neglect you said I put you through. That wasn't anything in comparison for what I had to bear in the heavens. No, not even a thousand lashes from lightning bolts could have stopped me from loving youâfrom pursuing you with everything I had."
As the bed began to shake, I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach.
"What did you just say?" I was on the verge of crying, hearing what he had endured.
So that was the mysterious punishment he had gotten.
A thousand lashes...from lightning?
How was that physically possible? And how did he manage to still be in front of me, alive and well after going through that?
How much strength and willpower did it take to still be breathing after that?
My jaw clenched at the information.
They had whipped their own commander, the one who protected them and took control with armed forces in times of danger...all because he'd fallen in love with a human girl?
How much more brutal could the heavens be? I thought, devastated.
I didn't have the time to ponder longer because the room had grown drastically darker, resembling a horrible thunderstorm.
It looked so real I trembled for being caught up in it.
"Do you think, Elisabetta," I noticed how glossed over his eyes were. How unlike himself he seemed with each passing moment. I felt his control slip away through his finger with every word he sent my way. I knew it was bad when he used that nameâthat godawful name to address me by. "Do you think I'm weak and so smitten by you that you get to question my decisions when all of them revolve around you to begin with?"
I opened my mouth, feeling stung by that question.
"Iâ"
He snapped his fingers and his clothes vanishedâall of themâand he was suddenly hovering above me.
It was within that moment that I realized I was naked too.
My hands went to cover my chest automatically and I looked up at him, horrified.
"What have youâ"
"Do you think doing something like this with callous indifference hasn't crossed my mind?" He growled as I felt my eyes widen at the ferocity in it.
His hands trailed up the length of my bare legs and I felt myself stiffen, finding the predicament I was in too unbelievable.
I was shocked.
Shocked that this man before me was Angelo.
I had never seen him so...cruel. I'd never had the displeasure of witnessing this side of him.
Until now.
"After all, you're mine," he resonated as the clouds over his head became alit with the rage he was no doubt experiencing. "Mine to do whatever with. You're my betrothed, my lover, my wife. What lengths shouldn't I go to get back that version of you?"
I swallowed.
Would he really...
"Why should I feel...guilty about you giving your body to me when you've done it so many times before in the past?" His eyes flickered with something such as an internal struggle.
I laid below him, still scared to push him off or even object as his hand journeyed inward, further to the area that curved into where he desired.
"I shouldn't feel this way. After all, you'd forgive me for bringing us back together." He tried to sound sure of himself but there was a wobble of uncertainty in his voice.
"Angelo,"
I couldn't help how sympathetic my tone sounded.
He looked so...broken.
I didn't know how to react to this state of the confident man I was used to.
He picked up on my judgemental gaze and angled his head to devour my lips nevertheless.
I was struck by the raw desire from the taste of his lips...the desperation.
I was speechless as his hand moved further inwards. That's when I realized what was happening.
He was willing to take advantage of me, consummate our relationship just to lift the veil on my memories and have me back.
The old me.
Elisabetta.
At the price of breaking the current me.
Before I was aware, a sob racked through my body.
He stilled immediately.
"Stop it." I said but he'd already done so.
He looked at me terrified, god he looked so scared it hurt me more than I'd like to admit.
But I was wounded too.
My heart felt like it was being torn to shreds after what just happened.
"Stop," I repeated once more, undoubtedly looking as defeated as I sounded even to my own ears.
I saw his hands twitch with the need to touch me, to soothe my ache but how could he when he was the cause of it?
"You said I had a choice," he was listening keenly to me, but his eyes were focused on the single tear that ran down my face. The clouds hanging in the ceiling darkened to the point of combustion. I was worried they actually would.
"You said I had a choice between being Isabelle, Elisabetta or whoever I want to be." I clarified.
His face reflected a sign of him remembering how he had reassured me with those words.
"No matter the time, place or hour, I will always desire you, Isabelle. Or Elisabetta. Whatever you wish to go by, it's fine. It doesn't change the fact that I want you and only you."
"I wish to go by Isabelle," I said fearlessly, breaking his reminiscent bubble.
He looked at me as if he could read my mind before I said the words. I could see him literally bracing himself.
"I'm Isabelle and only Isabelle. You say it doesn't change the fact that it's me anyway but I think you can't forget her...you can't forget Elisabetta. And you need to come to terms with the fact that I'm not her. I have my own characteristics, my own habitsâmy own dreams and aspirations. You need to accept that there's a possibility that I'm never gonna be her."
His jaw tightened painfully.
He didn't utter a word.
Now his body had gone cold above my own. Like a soulless statue.
"You claim that your Elisabetta loves you so much she'd forgive you for what you were about to do to me. However, I, Isabelle Crew, would never forgive you for such a barbaric act."
And the clouds burst and the rain poured all over us.
The droplets soaked me to the core and Angelo stayed unmoving above me, the water trails on his hair being the only contact with my skin. I was immeasurably cold as I looked into his frigid eyes and I feared they were going to be like that for a while.
Maybe even longer.