Chapter 38: Start a War
Angelo ran an eye over me. "Are you scared, Isabelle?"
His voice came out scratchy; like nails on a chalkboard.
It gave the impression of being deliberate and I hated the truth of the matter...that even within this moment he had the upper hand between us two.
Did he really think that would be the case till the very end of my existence? I began to brood over that possibility.
The very thought of it set me on fire once more.
Like a warrior ready to start a war.
It didn't matter that I wasn't prepared for the brawl. I was far too gone. I had become a deranged personâthe one I had turned into since he entered this heavenly chamber. Thus, my eyes snapped open and I faced him head on.
The overwhelming appearance of him startled me initiallyâas it would anyone. This certainly was not something you would see everyday as a normal person.
But then again, nothing about our encounters have been "normal".
The weight of his soulless stare remained but I was more angry than intimidated. There was a fight going on inside of me; the practical part being petrified by this strange 'thing' he had become. But the other part found it convenient that the fury I felt slowly overshadowed that. It had escalated to the point where nothing scared me anymore. After all, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
For some reason, me fearlessly meeting his gaze had the corner of his lips lifting up and for a split second, I saw a glimpse of the real Angelo from within. A flicker of excitementâperhaps a little disbeliefâthat I had the guts to do so. That cockiness triggered me like a pin pulled from a bomb.
"Is there something funny?" I snapped irritatingly.
His hand that had lifted towards me, inciting my terror before somehow had traveled to the side of my head, resting there on the wall. I had closed my eyes so I never actually saw its journey. It brought me temporary relief and partial guilt that a tiny part of me thought that he would actually harm me.
"No," he mused; still looking like a war monster.
A mixture of a beautiful and deadly one.
He licked his lips before casting a spiteful look my way. I fixed my eyes on it, wondering where it was coming from. "It's just that I find it ironic that even in this moment, angry and filled with contempt, you manage to come across as endearing to me. You have no idea how beautifully tragic that is. Especially when the only sentiment you carry for me is now hatred."
I was left speechless.
His words were laced with deep affliction.
Why did it feel like I was talking to a mere reflection of the man I once knew?
It was jarring. Hearing those words from him in this state.
They didn't sound flattering or sweet. If anything they sounded like a hidden threat.
"You have no idea..." he whispered once again before reaching for something in his trousers that were now tattered shorts after his transformation. His shirt had been completely eradicated as well. I tried not to focus on his abdominal muscles and the way they flexed when he did so. They looked bigger and more toned than before. "But you will soon." He finished, gaining my attention as the heavy tone struck a chord inside of me.
I watched as he took out two pills of opposing colors from his pocket.
One was white and the other was black.
I looked up at him questionably.
What did he expect me to do with those?
"It's your choice," he explained, resting them both in his opposite palms towards me.
"The white pill is if you choose to not want to have anything to do with me and this world anymore. It will make this entire ordeal you have gone through to become nothing more than a long dream. You will not have to deal with demons, angels or anything of that sort. You will never be referred to as Elisabetta again. You will become only Isabelle."
My eyes bulged out of their sockets and I began to panic.
"What are you talking about-"
"The black pill on the other hand is if you choose to not only remain in the present but also have knowledge of the past. It will share with you the things you have lost; the moments of your life before this one. It will explain to you the things I have failed to out of cowardice. It will show you the world you have left through an unjust death, but also will revive an even more intense feeling of want for me that you oh so loathe. It will make you become a variation of all the identities you once shed...Elisabetta being the main one."
I looked at him with my jaw on the floor. He couldn't be serious. There was no way in hell he was doing this now. How was this even possible? And why was he presenting me with a choice now after everything that has happened? Did he really think of me as a fool?
"This has to be a joke..." I muttered more to myself than him.
He shook his head, not fazed by my complete and utter disbelief. "It is not. I have asked our Lord for help with this situation and he has granted me the gift of these two pills. I should have been more insightful and lowered my pride from the get-go and asked for His help, but as you can see from my bound wings...we have a bit of a fallout going on."
Without realizing it my mouth flew open, masking concern with clenched teeth. "He did that to you? Why?"
Was being struck by lightning bolts not enough of a punishment? I thought woefully.
Just how much more had he endured during this entire trial of us?
Things just kept piling up on top of each other.
Matters were made even worse because of how alarmingly disarming he was at the moment.
I didn't like what was happening right now more than he did, but why did he make it seem like he was doing me a favor? As if I had been waiting for a way out all this time and he was finally granting my wish?
"I can never seem to figure you out, Angelo." My face was scrunched up with the revulsion seeping from every pore of me. He looked at me, but it didn't seem like he was. It was like he never really did. "You have me wondering if I ever knew you in the first place. Or if you even did me. I've never been more disappointed than I am at this moment."
"There is an option for your disappointment." Was all he said, showing no regret.
My heart felt like it was struck by a thousand arrows.
I laughed, laughed and laughed some more.
Thinking back, I really should have not had my expectations set so high. Everything that happened between us had not much of a difference than a silly fever dream. I could always wake up from it.
As he said, it was my choice.
"Close your eyes." I commanded him.
Angelo looked at me, clearly taken aback by my cold request. If he had expected me to be civil about this in any manner, he had another guess coming.
We both knew what that meant for him and me.
Even in our final moments, the decision I made would be unbeknownst to him.
He didn't deserve the privilege of being at ease knowing my choice like this.
It was only fair with how much of the same thing I had endured since I had met him.
Sparing me one last sardonic smile; one that showed acceptance and defeat, Angelo closed his eyes. I knew enough to see that it wasn't directed at me, but our reality. The image of him right then and there was unbearably satisfying but also pitiful. A powerful being like him being at the mercy of a mere human being's decision. I hated how after all this I still felt sorry for him.
I glanced down at the two choices before me.
My mind went blank.
At first being faced with them both, I was sure of which one to pick. It wasn't a secret that that one made more sense between the two choices.
Then why was I hesitating?
My hand reached out for the white pill, but only hovered over it.
I never truly chose it.
Against my volition, my eye flickered over to the black one.
Then they got control of themselves and focused on the white one again.
However, my peripheral vision became manipulative. My eyes started becoming blurred, mixing the two colorsâa distinctive gray being the only thing I could see. Like the storm clouds I had once been running away from which I had thought held a silver lining beyond them. Such a lasting impression of someone I once knew staining me like I had never been before.
Angelo...my heart wept.
Goodbye, my mind bade.
Then I made my decision.
As I swallowed the pill, I felt myself falling to the floor after consumption. The choice I made became reactive inside my body like an invasion, fully monopolizing my entire being.
The last thing I remembered was a pair of desperate arms clinging onto me before I hit the ground.
The last memory of him.
I was sure I didn't imagine it.
It was enveloped with a remembrance of teardrops slowly caressing my cheek followed by the sound of a sob violently racking his body.