Chapter 38: Scarred: Chapter 36

The guilty must pay for their sins.

I stare at the scrawled note—the one that was written by me—before placing it down on Michael’s desk and looking up at him.

“And what have you done to be guilty of, brother?” I ask. “What has Xander done?”

Michael’s eyes shift from left to right. “Nothing, of course.”

My boot presses on the wood floor, causing it to creak, and his body jumps. Amusement rains down my insides and I remind myself to smother the grin wanting to spread across my face.

“Do you ever think about our father?” he asks, his fingers white-knuckling the back of his chair.

The question makes my stomach twist, like it does any time I think of our father.

“Did mother put you up to this line of questioning?” I glance around, half expecting her to be in the room. Truthfully, I’m not sure if she’s even still in the castle, but I can’t be bothered enough to care either way.

He shakes his head.

I place a joint in my mouth and walk to the sitting area, bending over the coffee table to light the end on a candelabra, puffing a few times as I make my way back toward Michael and offer it to him.

He stares at the burning paper as though he doesn’t trust it not to be poisoned.

“If I were to kill you, brother, I would make sure you knew it was coming.” I nod at him. “Take it. It will ease your conscience. At least for a while.”

He swallows, reaching out and gripping it between his fingers, bringing it to his lips and scrunching his face as the smoke cascades like a waterfall from his nose.

“Do you believe in God?” he mutters, staring down at the hash.

I place my hands in my pockets, tilting my head. “I do.”

“You hardly attend mass.” He peers at me from under his brows.

“There’s a difference in beliefs and blind worship, Michael. One builds a sense of self, and the other strips it away.” I move back to the sitting area, settling into the chaise lounge and leaning back. As I gaze at the ceiling, anticipation flies around my stomach like buzzing bees, opportunity staring me in the face. “However, if you’re speaking of life after death, I think there must be. How else could I see our father’s ghost?”

I snap upright to a sitting position, slapping my hand over my mouth.

Michael’s eyes widen and he stomps around his desk, the joint burning in his fingers as he fumbles his way across the room, plopping in a chair across from me. “Say that again.”

Shaking my head, I scoot back, running a hand through my hair. “No, I… I don’t know why I said that. Ignore me.”

“Tristan.” He leans in. “Do you see our father?”

I rest my elbows on my knees, drawing down my brows and making my breathing stutter. “I think I might be going crazy.”

Michael laughs; a light, tinkling sound. One that bleeds with relief.

Imbecile.

“It’s when I’m sleeping mostly,” I lie, raising my head to stare into Michael’s eyes. “He warns me of things to come. At first, I… I thought they were just dreams. But lately…”

Michael nods, his eyes wild, their amber sheen hazy and unfocused. “Lately?”

“Lately, the things he says… they’ve been coming true.” I scoff, pushing myself to a stand. “You must think I’m mad. Forget I said anything. Please.”

I rush toward the door, but before I can even make it halfway across the room, I’m stopped by the sound of his voice.

“I see him too.”

This time, a smile does creep along my face.

I find Sara in the servant’s kitchen, sitting at the small wood table, her head thrown back in laughter. My heart clenches at the sight.

Simon, Paul, Timothy, and one of the ladies-in-waiting surround her, beaming as if she’s the center of their world. My muscles tighten, a sick feeling swimming in my gut at the thought of other people getting to enjoy her; of them getting the pieces she only ever shows me.

“Tristan!” Simon squeals, jumping up from his stool and racing over, grabbing onto my legs in a tight hug.

“Hello, little lion.” My eyes scan across the table. “What do we have here?”

“Just enjoying some tea, Your Highness,” Sara says. “Care to join us?”

Paul scrambles to a stand, rushing to the kettle sitting on top of one of the stove’s burners. “Yes, yes, let me get you something.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

He pauses, dropping his arms to the side. “Oh.”

I walk over, Simon hot on my heels, and take up the spot that Paul just vacated, my gaze never leaving my little doe’s. “How’s your uncle’s hand?”

Her shoulders stiffen. “Just fine, thank you. How’s His Majesty?”

“Depends on who you ask.” I tilt my head.

“Did you know lady could fight?” Simon says to me as he plops down at my side.

My blood heats as I trail my gaze along her body. “Can she?”

“Good to see your annoying habit of answering questions with questions extends to beyond just me,” she cuts in, grinning.

Smirking, I turn my attention to Simon. “Let me guess, she taught you to be valiant and brave? Honorable and strong?”

Simon scrunches up his nose. “No, she said to drink water.”

“I said to be water.” She laughs.

She picks up her tea, bringing it to her lips. My eyes zone in on her throat as she swallows the liquid, my cock springing to life when I notice the tiny cut on her bottom lip.

The memory of her flavor teases my tastebuds, and I find it almost impossible to look away from the mark, aching to split it open again, just to hear her moan as I soothe her pain with my tongue.

“Being honorable only works when both sides play by the rules.” She glances to Simon, leaning across the table. “Enemies never stick to the rules.”

Simon nods, gazing at her with adoration; a look that, until this moment, I thought was reserved only for me.

I don’t blame him for falling under her spell when even I can’t outrun it.

“That’s right.” I nod. “The trick is, little lion, to be smarter, not stronger.”

“Oh?” Sara answers instead, her lips lifting in the corner. “Is that the trick?”

My fingers tap on the table, the tip of my thumb rubbing the underside of my father’s ring. “One of many I could show you.”

Her eyes flare, lips parting.

“Milady,” the young girl at her side interrupts. “Don’t forget, we have an outing in less than an hour. Should we head back to get dressed?”

Sara’s cheeks flush as she breaks our stare, smiling over at her. “I’m ready whenever you are, Ophelia.” She turns toward Timothy. “Are you ready?”

“An outing?” Simon asks. “Can I come?”

Paul walks back from the stove, placing a plate in front of Simon, his gaze briefly locking on Timothy’s before turning away. “Simon, your mama will whoop you black and blue. You know you can’t go into town.”

His face drops. “I’m never allowed to go anywhere.”

“Never?” Sara grins down at him, cupping her hands over her mouth and whispering loudly. “One day, I’ll take you.”

Paul and I share a look, but we say nothing.

The royal bastard of Gloria Terra is the castle’s best-kept secret.

I don’t tell her the reason he doesn’t go anywhere is because no one can know he exists. That, whether we want to admit it or not, if word got out about a brown boy with the same striking eyes as the king, chaos would follow.

Or how, if my brother simply acknowledged him, Simon would be the rightful heir to the throne.