Chapter 15: I Am No Angel, I Never Was

~“I’m not an angel, I never claimed to be, but I never hurt you. It’s not my fault. You see those eggshells, they’re shattered now. A million fragments scattered across the floor.” —Birdy.~

Chapter Theme Song: “No Angel” by Birdy.

HARMONY

As the room bursts into applause and standing ovations, I see Blaze quickly rise from his seat, his head bowed as he hurries through the glass door.

My heart sinks. He didn’t enjoy it. I told him I didn’t want to do this and now it’s clear that I’m terrible.

Justine’s reaction to my performance is a mix of awe and resentment, while Mal gives me two enthusiastic thumbs up, a broad, impressed smile on his face.

I manage a small smile in return, but all this applause means nothing if the one person I was hoping would appreciate it…didn’t.

So, after an awkward bow, as if I’m on a Broadway stage, I quickly make my way down the aisle, push open the door, and step out into the quiet hallway.

The warmth of the setting sun immediately hits me as it bathes the empty corridor in its golden light.

I look left and right for him, my frown deepening when I see no sign of the boy in the black tank top. ~Did my voice scare him off so much that he had to leave the entire scene?~

I bite the inside of my cheek in disappointment and turn to go back inside, but just as I’m about to grab the metal handle of the door, I catch a glimpse of his familiar figure, sitting on the pavement at the corner of the wall.

A smile lights up my face, and I quickly walk over to him. His head is bent as he seems to be plucking leaves off a small stalk in his hand.

I step onto the dirt track and gather the hem of my dress before sitting down next to him on the concrete ground. His head lifts and he turns to look at me.

“Found you.” I grin, as if we were playing a game of ~hide and seek~.

When he doesn’t respond, my smile fades into a scowl as he drops his gaze back to the stem in his hand.

His face is etched with sadness, and I fear that his gloom is because I did a terrible job on stage. ~Is he disappointed?~

I sigh and look down at my fingers. “You hated it.”

He looks at me, shaking his head. “No. No, I didn’t, Harmony. I loved it...a lot.”

I force a tight smile as I nervously smooth my dress over my knees. “You did?”

He nods, closing his eyes slightly. “Yeah.”

I find it hard to believe. He usually compliments me right after I sing, but today I had to coax it out of him.

I frown. His face is saying the complete opposite. “Then why do you look so sad?”

He stares at me for a moment then sighs, looking away quietly.

“Blaze?”

Our eyes meet again, and his look so vulnerable that it tugs at my heart. I’ve never seen him like this. ~Is he okay?~

“What’s wrong?”

He opens his mouth to say something when a voice interrupts us.

“Harmony.”

I look up, squinting against the bright sunlight to see Malcolm’s face. I smile as I stand up, dusting off my dress.

“Hey, Mal.”

His expression is stern as he glares at Blaze, who returns the look with equal disgust. I glance between them, confusion washing over me.

~What’s going on? Instant dislike?~

“Um...” I shift uncomfortably. “I’m glad you’re here, Mal. I want you to meet—”

“Blaze, why the hell are you hanging around her?!” Mal shouts, catching me off guard. ~Do they know each other?~

I blink, confused. “You guys know each other?”

I find it strange because the last time at Blaze’s dorm, he had asked me who Mal was as if he had no idea, but now it seems they know each other?

“Of course I know him!” Mal snaps, showing a side of him I’ve never seen before. He’s furious, his usually calm hazel eyes now blazing with anger.

“How could I forget this arrogant asshole who almost made my sister kill herself?!”

My mouth falls open in shock. ~What?~

I turn to Blaze as he stands up, tossing the stalk away. He casually shoves his hands in his pockets, and I wait for his response to Mal’s accusations.

~Accusations~ because I can’t believe what he’s saying is true.

Even though everyone sees Blaze in a negative light, I want to believe there’s more to him than meets the eye. That deep down, he’s a good person, not as immoral as everyone makes him out to be.

I want to form my own opinion of him, and so far, the image I’ve created is of a complex and mysterious person who just needs to be understood.

But my assumptions waver when a smile spreads across his face as he scratches his forehead nonchalantly.

“Seriously? Are we back on this stupid topic again? She’s not dead so why are you bothering me?”

I stare at him, speechless. Is that his response?

“You son of a bitch!” Mal lunges at Blaze but I quickly step in his path, trying to hold him back as his fists clench so tightly they turn white.

Blaze is smiling as he looks at Malcolm, as if he’s nothing more than a pitiful creature beneath him. “Calling my mom a bitch is rude. I mean, I didn’t like the woman much, but you don’t get to call her that.”

“Wipe that smirk off your face, you idiot! My sister is still struggling to get back to her normal self!”

Malcolm circles me, ready to pounce on Blaze, but I slide in front of him, my petite five-foot-four frame acting as a barrier. “Mal, don’t...please.”

My voice trembles, and I’m not sure why. Maybe because I’d been hoping Blaze wasn’t the person everyone said he was. I’d been hoping they were wrong.

I’d been hoping my theory was right. That he wasn’t a jerk, that somewhere deep down, he was a good person. But his reaction is making me question everything.

Malcolm clenches his jaw. “Harmony, stay away from this guy. He’s nothing but trouble!”

“Your sister was a nutcase,” Blaze retorts, his voice flat.

“She got clingy after just one touch. If she wants to off herself, what the hell does that have to do with me? You should be grateful she’s still breathing, you idiot.”

I run a hand through my hair. “Blaze, stop.”

“Keep going!” Mal goads. “Keep talking, you jerk!”

“Fine. I’ve slept with a lot of girls, she knew that. I don’t know why she thought I’d suddenly want to settle down with her. She was an easy lay, and that worked for me.

“She needs help. I mean, I’m messed up, but she’s even more messed up to slash her wrist because a guy tells her he doesn’t want her!”

~Slap!~

Before I know it, my hand has connected with Blaze’s cheek.

His head barely moves from the impact, and his eyes darken before returning to their natural color.

And I can’t help but think that if anyone else had done that, they’d be nursing a black eye by now.

“Stop!” I cry out.

He sighs softly, rubbing his cheek with his tongue, a bright pink mark from my hand visible on his skin.

“I’m going to kill you,” Mal threatens, but I quickly spin around to face him. “Mal, leave.”

“Harmony, don’t stay here with this waste of space!”

“Just go, okay? I’ll follow.”

He hesitates, but I plead with my eyes. I know Blaze can be unpredictable, and I can’t forget about the knife he keeps in his bag. I don’t want any more trouble.

Finally, he sighs, shooting Blaze a venomous look before storming off.

I let out a breath and turn to face Blaze, crossing my arms and looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “So, this is who you really are?”

He just stares at me, his face blank, and it infuriates me.

“Do you think it’s cool to not care about other people’s feelings? Do you think it’s fair to them? How can you be so heartless?!”

He shakes his head, his expression unreadable. “Are you surprised? I told you I was messed up. Why are you so shocked, Harmony Skye?”

~He’s right. I’ve been warned, but I still wanted to believe there was good in him.~

I wipe away a tear and take a deep breath. “Maybe because I was stupid enough to believe in you. I thought—I thought they were all lying. I thought you weren’t a bad person.”

A flicker of hurt crosses his face before it’s replaced with his usual blank expression. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“That you’d stop trusting me and run away. I told you that today, didn’t I? That when you saw how messed up I am, you’d leave.

“Let’s be honest, you never trusted me to begin with, did you? You were just waiting for me to screw up so you’d have an excuse to believe everyone else.”

“Don’t turn this on me. You almost caused someone to die, Blaze!”

“Harmony, what makes you say that?” His brows furrow, and he gives me the same terrifying look he did in the hallway this morning. He looks so scary.

“What do you know? Do you know her? Do you know what happened between us? Do you?!”

~No. ~I don’t know anything about what happened between him and Malcolm’s sister. I don’t have the full story, so I don’t have any basis for my judgment.

I’m judging him without knowing his side of the story.

I don’t know what to say, so I look down, feeling humiliated.

“See? You don’t know anything,” he says harshly. “But you’re so quick to judge me!”

I meet his angry gaze, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Then stay away from me!” he snaps, and my heart shatters.

He turns to leave, and I grab his hand. He looks back at me, his eyebrows raised, and I look down, swallowing hard as tears well up in my eyes. “D-do you mean that?”

He shakes off my hand and turns back to me. He looks furious, and it’s tearing my already broken heart apart.

“If you don’t trust someone, why are you hanging around them? That’s just stupid, Harmony! Just stay away from me, okay? Do yourself a favor!”

He walks away, leaving me crying on the sidewalk.

~^”I want to tell you that I’m sorry but that’s not for me to say. You can have my heart, my soul, my body if you can promise not to go away.” —Birdy.^~