Chapter 17: Put Your Hand In Mine

~“Is it you or are the lights getting brighter in the night?” — Grace VanderWaal.~

Chapter Theme Song: “Ur So Beautiful” by Grace VanderWaal.

HARMONY

“Finally, the boots are here!” April announces, bursting through our dorm door with a beige shoebox in her hands.

“Okay, hurry up, hurry up!” Yuna calls to her, her voice filled with excitement. April laughs and quickly joins us on the bed.

“Here we go!” She opens the box, and the scent of fresh leather fills the room as she lifts out a pair of black boots identical to her own. “Ta-da! Size six!”

I’m surprised she knew my shoe size, and she seems to read my thoughts as she chuckles softly.

“I checked one of your ballet flats.” She hands the boots to me. “These are for you, Harmony.”

I’m at a loss for words. I’m usually hesitant to accept gifts. My mom taught me to be satisfied with what I have, and I don’t like the idea of someone going out of their way for me.

She notices my reluctance and frowns. “Come on, Harmony, please. They’d look great on you.” Tia and Yuna nod in agreement.

“I hope it wasn’t too much trouble,” I say, and she quickly shakes her head.

“Not at all. I got them half off, if that makes you feel better.” She grins.

I manage a small smile and sigh. “As long as it wasn’t a problem—”

“Harmony, just take the damn boots!” Tia laughs, and they all join in as I finally accept the gift.

I look at the boots for a moment, feeling a wave of gratitude. I’ve only known April for two weeks, but she’s already shown me such kindness.

I feel lucky to have met such genuine people. I don’t know how I would have survived my first weeks at Homewood without them.

“Thank you, April.”

She waves me off with a playful smile. “Oh, stop it, pretty girl. Now let’s find you something to wear to the party!”

Yuna and Tia cheer in excitement, and I chuckle, confused by their enthusiasm. What’s so exciting about helping someone get dressed?

***

Soon enough, we’re all dressed and ready to head to Blaze’s party. My face feels heavy from the makeup April applied, and the powdery smell keeps making me sneeze.

I’m not used to wearing makeup; it’s just not my style. But I let them ~doll~ me up for tonight.

It’s a party, after all. If I’m going to step out of my comfort zone by going, why not go all the way?

She finishes by applying lip gloss to my lips, then steps back and puts her hands on her hips. “Okay, stand up and let me see you.”

I stand, tugging at the hem of my denim skirt. The girls stare at me with their mouths open, and I immediately worry that I look ridiculous.

“Do I look bad?” I ask, my forehead creasing with worry. If I look terrible, I’ll just stay in tonight and never even think about going to a party again.

April shakes her head quickly, her smile wide and bright. “No, you look amazing. Oh my God, look.”

She grabs my hand and pulls me over to the full-length mirror on the wardrobe, holding my arms as she looks at my reflection over my shoulder. “Look how great you look.”

I’m surprised by my reflection. I look...~different~.

My curly hair is styled into tight curls, giving it a fluffy look as it falls over my shoulders. The light makeup really makes my emerald eyes pop.

I’m glad April kept it simple with just a touch of strawberry lip gloss, instead of the thick matte lipstick I see women wearing in movies. I don’t think that would look good on me.

“You’re so pretty, Harmony,” Yuna says, and I blush and smile.

“So are you... So are all of you.” I laugh a little, and they join in.

Feeling curious about my new look, I take another look at myself in the mirror.

April lent me one of her tops, a black off-the-shoulder blouse with lace, mesh sleeves.

The skirt is a bit shorter than I’d like. I’m a little self-conscious about my legs, and this outfit doesn’t leave much to the imagination.

But I don’t want to ruin their hard work, so I decide to just be brave and wear it. Just for tonight.

If my mom saw me right now, her protective instincts would go into overdrive. She’d put me in her car, drive me home, and forbid me from ever setting foot in this university again.

I smile at the thought.

“Someone’s going to be turning heads tonight,” Tia says, swaying her hips. The girls laugh, and Yuna hits her with a pillow.

I giggle. “Thank you all for helping me get ready.”

April pats my shoulder gently. “Don’t mention it.”

“Okay! Let’s go.” Yuna grabs her purse, and I sit on the bed to put on the boots.

The girls make a fuss about how well the boots go with my outfit, and it gives me a boost of confidence. Enough to get me through the night.

I just hope it’s enough to help me handle being around Blaze.

***

My mouth falls open in awe as Blaze’s house comes into view. It’s a sleek, modern building perched on a hill, with walls made mostly of glass.

It’s a two-story house surrounded by lush, green grass, looking more like a luxury penthouse than a home.

It’s a stark contrast to the house he took me to in the woods, and I find myself wondering what his father does for a living.

That thought reminds me that I don’t know much about Blaze Xander. He seems to keep a lot to himself.

“Here we are,” April announces, guiding her car into a parking lot brimming with vehicles.

The bass from the music inside vibrates my seat, and I see groups of teenagers scattered across the lawn, chatting, dancing, and generally enjoying themselves.

A wave of anxiety washes over me. This is all so new to me, and I have no idea what to expect.

April switches off her Honda, and I step out into the chilly night air, feeling it sting my cheeks and nostrils. I wrap my arms around myself, waiting for the girls to join me.

Yuna is touching up her makeup in April’s rearview mirror, while Tia adjusts her bra straps. I take the opportunity to survey the surroundings, admiring the landscaping.

Roses line the walkway, and lights are embedded in the grass at intervals. Whoever designed this place had a keen eye for detail.

“Sorry to keep you waiting out here.” April grins as she steps out of the car. “You look cold. We probably should have brought a jacket for you. That top can get chilly.”

The girls are wearing strapless tops and short skirts, but they seem unfazed by the cold. Clearly, they’re used to partying in chilly weather.

“It’s almost Christmas season, so the air is a bit nippy,” Yuna adds.

“Let’s get inside quickly,” Tia urges, fixing a fallen earring.

We ascend the steps leading to the large, wooden doors of the house. April knocks a few times, and soon the door swings open to reveal a room full of people and a grinning James.

He looks good. He’s wearing a blue, striped dress shirt with black ripped jeans. His brown hair is faded at the sides, with loose curls on top, and gold stud earrings glint in his ears.

James is undeniably attractive; I can’t understand why April doesn’t seem to like him.

“Good evening, ladies.” He greets us, his smile particularly warm for April, who pretends to be uninterested as she picks at her nails.

“Are you going to let us in?” she retorts, and he steps aside with a wide grin, allowing us to enter.

“Wow, you look nice, Harmony,” he compliments as I walk past him, causing my cheeks to heat up.

“Thank you.” I manage a polite smile.

He casually drapes an arm around my shoulders, catching me off guard and causing me to stiffen.

“Blaze would love to see you now,” he whispers, earning a surprised look from me. He winks subtly. I blush and look away.

~Blaze and I aren’t even on speaking terms, so I doubt he wants to see me here.~

“Where is Blaze?” April scans the crowded room of tipsy teenagers, most of them dancing and grinding against each other with abandon.

I shift uncomfortably, not liking the atmosphere and lacking the courage to face the boy who told me to stay away from him.

James grabs a red cup from a passing tray, shrugging at April’s question. “He’s around here somewhere. Probably hooking up with a girl upstairs.”

His words make me look at him, and he widens his eyes. “Sorry, Harmony. I shouldn’t have said that in front of you.”

~Yeah, I could have done without that information.~

“Just text him, James!” April commands.

“Okay. Geez, you’re so touchy.” He pulls out his phone and starts typing, holding the cup between his teeth.

The inside of the house is as cold as the outside, thanks to the air conditioning. I rub my arms, trying to generate some warmth.

“He’s on his way,” James announces.

My heart skips a beat as I see Blaze making his way towards us from what appears to be the living room.

There are no words to describe how good he looks right now.

I’ve never seen a guy look so perfect in just a black T-shirt, ripped black jeans, and gray sneakers.

His silky hair, which I’ve come to admire, hangs loosely over his forehead, and his gold necklace complements the small hoop earrings in his ears.

He’s undeniably attractive, and I’m sure everyone in this room can see that.

I look away before he catches me staring. He told me to keep my distance, and even though I’m in his territory, I won’t talk to him unless he wants me to. I respect his wishes.

“Finally, I thought you guys were going to take all night,” he says, wrapping his arms around his cousin and planting a kiss on her forehead.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” April smiles as she returns his hug.

“God, Blaze, where do you get your cologne?” Tia chuckles. “You smell amazing.” Yuna laughs.

“Ahem, I smell good too.” James grins. “Why aren’t you complimenting me? Come here, smell me.” He tries to grab Tia’s arm, and she giggles and pulls away, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

I chuckle at their antics, and when I notice Blaze looking my way, I quickly focus on my boots to avoid eye contact.

Lately, it seems like the universe isn’t on my side.

First, I ended up eating lunch in the cafeteria with the girls, something I don’t usually do, because I’d made a promise.

And now, I’m at a party with them, another thing I don’t usually do, because I’d made another promise.

I’m worried Blaze might think I’m using these situations as an excuse to see him, which is absolutely not the case.

“Remind Me to Forget” by Miguel ft. Kygo starts playing, and James’s eyes widen dramatically, making me snicker at his owl-like expression.

“Oh shit, that’s my song!”

James sets his cup on a nearby table and takes April’s hand, her eyes widening in surprise. “What are you—”

“Dance with me,” he interrupts, pulling her into the crowd. She tries to protest, but James holds her firmly, leading her into the sea of people.

“Harmony, do you want to dance?” Yuna asks. I shake my head quickly.

“No, I-I can’t dance.”

“Okay. We’ll be right back, okay?” Tia assures me, and I just nod.

They disappear into the crowd, and I watch them go. I let out a soft sigh and look up, meeting Blaze’s piercing blue eyes.

I swallow hard. ~I should have just said yes to the dance.~

I rub my arm nervously, trying not to squirm under his intense gaze. His eyes roam over me, and I cross my legs, feeling a wave of insecurity wash over me.

“W-what?” I stammer.

He shrugs, finally tearing his gaze away from my legs. “You look nice.”

I feel my cheeks heat up at his words. “Um, so do you...”

~Great. ‘So do you.’ Really, Harmony? That’s so awkward.~

Blaze doesn’t respond to my compliment. Instead, he holds my gaze, making my heart race. He’s studying me, as if he’s trying to figure me out.

I decide to thank him for helping me in the cafeteria and apologize for not trusting him. It’ll make me feel less awkward.

I’m about to speak when a girl with purple hair appears out of nowhere, throwing her arms around Blaze’s neck and giggling into his shoulder.

My heart flips in my chest, and I try to hide my reaction.

“Blaze! I was looking for you!”

She’s slurring her words, clearly drunk, and the strong smell of alcohol confirms it.

Blaze grimaces, gently removing her arms from around his neck.

“Please, I need to show you something upstairs!” she insists, tugging on his hand. ~What could she possibly want to show him, a treasure chest?~ “Come with me.”

He looks back at me. “Harmony—”

“Go ahead. I’m going to get a drink.” I turn and walk away before I can see him leave with her.

I don’t want to see him go with her. It’s better if I leave first. It’ll hurt less...~why would it hurt?~

I don’t know. My feelings for Blaze have been all over the place lately.

I find the kitchen, but it’s crowded, and a couple is making out by the fridge. I don’t want to interrupt, so I leave without getting a drink.

I weave through the crowd in the living room, mumbling ~excuse me’s~ and ~sorry’s~ to people who don’t even notice, until I reach a door that leads to the backyard.

I slide open the glass door and step out onto the pool deck. The smell of wet grass and chlorine fills the air, and I smile at the sight of the pool.

It’s peaceful out here.

There’s a couple sitting on a bench nearby and a guy throwing up in the bushes, but it’s still better than being inside with the loud music and the crowd.

I sit on a bench by the pool, setting my purse next to me as I look up at the night sky. The moon is full and bright, outshining the stars around it.

I think about my dad, and memories of him flood my mind.

Life hasn’t been the same without him.

Things that used to bring me joy now only remind me of his absence. That’s why I stopped singing and playing the piano.

But singing at the music club didn’t make me as anxious as I thought it would. I actually enjoyed it. ~Maybe I could do it again, if Blaze is there.~

Someone sits down next to me, and I turn to see a guy with a shaved head. He raises his eyebrows at me and grins.

I blink, looking behind me to see if he’s talking to someone else. I don’t know him, and I’m sure he doesn’t know me.

“Hi.” He wiggles his eyebrows again, and I shift away from him.

“Hey?”

He laughs. “You look confused. No, you don’t know me. I just saw you sitting here alone and thought it was unusual. Most girls are inside dancing.”

“Oh. Um...I don’t really like parties.” I grip the edge of the bench, feeling nervous.

“That’s...~unusual.~” He chuckles.

I smile a little, hoping he’ll leave soon.

“Want a drink?” He offers me a brown bottle, and I decline quickly.

“No, thanks.”

“Come on, promise you’ll like it. Some guys I know added something to it. It’ll make you feel like you’re walking on stars.”

I make a face. ~No thanks, I prefer to keep my feet on the ground.~

I shake my head. “No, I’m okay.”

He shrugs. “Suit yourself, princess.”

I frown at the nickname as he takes a swig from the bottle. He sets it down on the deck and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, letting out a loud burp.

“So, you’re a local?” he inquires, his fingers laced together in his lap.

“Uh, no, I’m just here for the party...”

He nods. “Got it. How do you know Xander?”

His question makes me hesitate. Right now, Blaze and I aren’t even friends.

“Um. We share an English class,” I admit, realizing that’s probably our only connection.

He grins. “Ah. I thought maybe you were one of the girls he’s slept with.”

I knit my brows. ~Did he really just say that?~ It’s a rude comment, but I decide to let it slide and look up at the sky instead.

The peace I found outside is fading. I’m starting to think I should’ve stayed inside.

He begins to dig around in his pocket and I keep my eyes averted, not eager for more unwanted conversation.

He pulls out a cigarette, finds a lighter, and places the cigarette between his lips. He lights it up, and the smoke invades my nostrils, making me tense and look his way.

“N-no, please don’t smoke. It’s bad for me.”

“What?” he says, and a smoke ring hits my face. I cough and wave it away, and he chuckles. “Never smoked before?”

I can feel my chest starting to tighten and I grip the edges of my chair, taking slow, deep breaths through my nose. ~I need to get out of here.~

“You should try it sometime, princess. It makes all your problems disappear.”

I try to stand, but I’m suddenly frozen in place as I start to wheeze uncontrollably, my chest painfully constricting.

Asthma attack. It’s been a while since I’ve had one and I’d forgotten how terrifying they are.

It feels like a massive elephant is sitting on my lungs, squeezing all the air out of me. It’s frightening, which is why I always try to avoid anything that might trigger it.

It’s like holding my breath underwater, or trying to breathe through a pinhole, struggling to pull in enough air.

Fear spikes through me as my eyes fill with panicked tears. The dust in my lungs seems to expand and I try to speak, pounding on my chest as I gasp for air.

The guy watches me, confusion on his face, the joint still between his lips. “Hey, you okay?”

I shake my head quickly, pointing to my purse behind him on the chair. “M-my p-um...”

He frowns. “What?”

“My p-pump, pl-please...”

Suddenly, he’s gone, and through my wheezing, I manage to look up to see an angry Blaze gripping the guy’s collar, his eyes blazing.

“What the fuck did you do to her?!”

The guy shakes his head quickly, fear clear on his face. “I didn’t —I didn’t do anything, Xander! I swear, I just sat there, and she started breathing weird.”

Blaze glances at the cigarette in his hand, then at me, hunched over on the bench. Understanding dawns on his face, and he releases the guy’s collar, pushing him away.

“Get the fuck out of here.”

The guy bolts, and Blaze rushes over to me, crouching down and cupping my cheek in his hand. “What’s wrong, Harmony?”

Tears stream down my face as he brushes my hair back. “Mm?”

“M....my pump...asthma…pump.”

“Where is it?”

I point to my purse, and he quickly grabs it from the bench and unzips it.

Ignoring tampons and makeup, he searches for my inhaler, and when he finds it, he quickly hands it to me.

I put my lips around the mouthpiece and press repeatedly until I feel my lungs start to relax. He watches me closely, looking a bit scared. I’ve never seen him look like this before.

I sigh in relief when my breathing finally returns to normal, and Blaze’s forehead smooths out as his shoulders slump.

His hands rest on my legs as he studies my face, probably wondering if I’m okay now, and I give him a weak smile to show him that I am, tears staining my flushed cheeks.

“Thank you...”

“Are you okay now?” He sounds worried. His voice is comforting, making my heart flutter.

I nod.

His gaze softens, an expression I’ve never seen him give anyone. ~Anyone but me~.

“You have asthma?”

“Yeah.” I wipe away my tears, not caring about my ruined makeup.

Then I feel his hand on my back, rubbing up and down. I stiffen for a moment, surprised by his comforting gesture.

He looks into my eyes, and I slowly relax under his touch, our gazes locked. His touch is soothing. So soothing that my cheeks heat up.

I look away so he doesn’t see my blushing face.

“Do you want to go upstairs to my room and rest until April is ready?” he suggests.

I look up again, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s go.”

He takes my hand, and we stand.

I know it’s not the best time to blush, considering I almost died, but I can’t help feeling flushed at how warm his hand feels against mine; his cool rings brushing against my skin as he gently squeezes my hand.

He slides the glass door open and we step into the party, the loud music almost giving me a headache. I wince and hold my head as Blaze leads me through the crowd.

He doesn’t let go of my hand, glancing back occasionally to check on me as he heads for the kitchen.

James is at the counter, chatting up a girl with a bunch of earrings in her ears.

“Hey, James.” He waves him over, and James says something to the girl before coming our way.

“What’s up?”

“Got my room key?”

“Nah, it’s open. I was just in there. Forgot to close it.”

Blaze gives him a flat look. “You left it open? If anyone goes into my room, you’re dead, James.”

James just laughs. “Chill, it was just a minute ago.”

“Fine, whatever. Harmony’s gonna rest in there. Make sure no one goes up. You got the key, right?”

James nods. “Yeah.” He looks at me. “You good, Harmony?”

I give him a small smile. “Yeah.”

“Don’t let anyone up there,” Blaze warns as he starts to walk away. “Or I’ll break another one of your fingers!”

“Wait, Blaze.” James quickly grabs his shoulder, and Blaze turns to look at him as James leans in to whisper in his ear.

“Can I use your phone?”

Blaze narrows his eyes. “Why?”

“Quiet. I’m trying to get a girl’s number and my phone’s dead.” He jerks his head towards the girl at the counter, who’s now picking at her nails.

Blaze grins, shaking his head as he pulls out his phone and hands it over. “Don’t use up all my minutes.”

James laughs. “I won’t.”

“Yeah, you better not. Or you might lose a limb.” Blaze chuckles as he leads me up the stairs to his room.

~^”They say the more you love, the harder you fall. But I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all. Through the good, the bad, the lonely. I always rescue you, you always rescue me.” —James Bay.^~