Chapter 70: This Could Be Love

~“And I will find my strength to untape my mouth when I used to be afraid of the words but with you I’ve learned just to let it out now my heart is ready to burst. ‘Cause I feel like I’m ready for love and I wanna be your everything and more. And I know every day I say it but I just want you to be sure, that I am yours.” —Ella Henderson.~

Chapter Theme Song: “Yours” by Ella Henderson.

HARMONY

He guides me onto his lap, and I can feel his arousal growing beneath me. It’s a little intimidating, but I don’t pull away.

I’m not ready to break our kiss just yet.

His hand, which had been resting on my waist, starts to wander. It finds the strings on my shorts and gives them a tug.

I pull away from the kiss, and he looks surprised. His lips are slightly parted, and his eyes are full of curiosity. I’m breathing hard, and I can’t seem to look away from him.

He grins at me. “What? We aren’t having sex, don’t freak out.”

I shake my head, trying to catch my breath. “It’s not that...at all. I just think it’s not fair that you’re always the one touching me.”

He tilts his head, looking both impressed and confused. He takes his hands off me and holds them up, chuckling.

“Okay, you’re right, sorry. See? Not touching you, all right?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” I explain, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and shifting uncomfortably on his lap. “I meant...I meant, this time...I wanted to...”

I can’t finish the sentence, and my cheeks turn bright red. Blaze doesn’t need me to finish. He can tell what I mean—probably because my face is on fire.

He smiles. “You want to touch me.”

Hearing him say it out loud is even more embarrassing than I thought it would be. I wish I could go back in time and decide against this whole idea.

I feel awkward all of a sudden, but it’s too late to back out now. He already knows.

“Um...” I look down. “If...if you want me to, that is.”

I want to do something for him. I want to return the favor, that’s all.

He leans back on his hands, studying me with a smile on his face. “I’d love that,” he says, and I look up at him. “But...but I don’t think that’s a good idea, Harmony.”

~Ouch.~

“Okay...” I feel so embarrassed that I could jump off a cliff right now and not regret it. “I-I am sorry, we should watch a movie instead—”

I quickly climb off him, and he bites his lower lip, looking unsure. I reach for the laptop, which is hanging off the edge of the bed. A casualty of our make-out session.

Just as I’m about to grab it, Blaze grabs my wrist. I look at him.

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just don’t want to get too excited, that’s all.” He lets go of me, his voice calm. “I don’t want to lose control because...I don’t want to have sex with you.”

I understand what he means. He respects me, and that’s sweet and comforting. The more time I spend with him, the more I fall in love with him.

I nod and give him a small smile. “Okay, I know. We can watch something you like instead...um, maybe a horror movie?”

I reach for the laptop again, but his hand is on mine. I look at him.

“I want you to,” he says softly, and my face feels like it’s on fire.

“I mean, you can touch me...if you still want to.”

I swallow hard and nod, and suddenly the room feels charged. Why did I suggest this? This isn’t like me.

I don’t know how Blaze Xander manages to break down my walls and build himself up in their place. He pushes me out of my comfort zone.

If my mom knew what I was about to do, she’d change her mind about letting me ride back to Homewood with Mr. Blake’s son.

He sits up against the headboard and gently pulls me with him.

“I’ll tell you if I want you to stop...if it gets too much.”

I smile. “Okay.”

He bites his lip again, and I can see the blush on his cheeks.

I don’t know where to start as I sit in front of him.

I’ve never done anything like this before, not even close. I’ve never even watched it in movies. Whenever a sex scene comes on, I usually skip it or find an excuse to leave the room.

It always makes me nervous, but now I’m about to be intimate in real life. It’s more than nerve-wracking.

He can tell that I’m inexperienced, and he tries to hide a smile as he pats the spot next to him.

“Come sit beside me.”

I do as he says, leaning against the headboard next to him.

“Give me your hand.”

I give him my hand, feeling a knot of tension in my stomach. He guides my hand under the waistband of his shorts and into his boxers.

My fingers brush against something warm and hard, and when I realize what I’m touching, my face feels like it’s on fire.

I swallow. ~Okay.~

It’s moving, pulsing. My small hand can’t fully cover him, and he notices this too. He nods towards my other hand. “Use two hands.”

I shift so I can put my other hand inside, and even with both hands, it’s a struggle to fully cover him.

He guides my hands over his length, showing me the ropes. He's soft yet firm, and I can't help but think that I might climax before he does.

I inhale deeply, my heart pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears.

“Just like that, okay? I’ll let you know when to stop,” he murmurs, his hand leaving mine.

I nod, suddenly nervous about doing this on my own. I don’t feel confident enough to pleasure him, but I keep my hands moving, hoping it’ll be enough to elicit a reaction.

And it does. He tilts his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, his breath coming out in short, uneven gasps. I can’t tell if that’s a good sign or a bad one.

“Is...is this okay?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nods. “Just keep doing that...”

There's a certain power that comes with this. Knowing that you’re in complete control of someone else’s pleasure. It's a confidence booster, a rush of dominance.

Is this why people do this? Is this why he always does this to me?

His face contorts slightly, and I worry that I’m doing something wrong, so I slow down.

“Am I doing it right?”

“Y-yes. Keep going...please...”

His lips part and I watch as sweat beads on his forehead. His ragged breathing tells me he’s close, the same place he always takes me.

I gradually pick up the pace, and he bites his bottom lip as his hips lift slightly off the bed.

“Fuck...”

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, Harmony...shit...don’t stop...”

I comply, and soon a barely audible groan escapes his lips.

“I’m gonna cum, okay?”

I nod. “Okay.”

I keep stroking him, my hands moving up and down, until he tenses.

His cock twitches in my grip, and then I feel something warm and thick coating my hands. Once, twice, three times.

I realize he’s just climaxed. He’s much quieter and more composed than I am during an orgasm, just a small groan and tightly shut eyes.

His boxers are soaked, and I’m hesitant to remove my hands.

He’s panting, his head still resting against the headboard. He looks exhausted.

“Are you okay?” I ask, unsure. “Did...did you like it?”

He looks at me with tired eyes, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. “Of course, I did... It was the most amazing experience of my life.”

I blush, but it doesn’t stop me from frowning. “I don’t believe you. I bet Amber does it better.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Who’s Amber?”

My mouth falls open in disbelief, and he just laughs and pulls me closer to him.

“The only girl I care about is Harmony Skye,” he murmurs, his nose brushing against mine. I close my eyes, unable to suppress my smile.

He rests his forehead against mine as he whispers against my lips, “My feelings for you are growing every day, Harmony.

“I’ve never loved a girl before, so I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like...but whatever this is...this might be it.”

His confession leaves me speechless, and I feel my heart stop for a moment. I want to respond, but I can’t find the words, so I just smile against his lips and savor the silence.

***

“I can’t find my turtleneck top anywhere.” April pushes her hair back in frustration as she rummages through the crowded closet in our room.

I’m always amazed at how many clothes April has here at Homewood; is she planning to live here forever? I barely brought anything, but then again, I don’t have many clothes to begin with.

I have to admit, her fashion sense is impressive. When I first arrived, I was taken aback by how ‘bold’ her outfits were. All her clothes reveal a lot of leg and cleavage.

But now? They suit her, and when I really look at them, they’re not that scandalous.

But I’d never wear them. I don’t have the confidence.

“I’m so pissed off right now.” She crosses her arms and starts to pout like a child.

I giggle. “Why don’t I lend you my top? I think I have a gray turtleneck in my suitcase,” I suggest, curling my legs underneath me on the bed.

April sighs and turns to me. “Thanks, Harmony, but I don’t think our styles are quite the same.” She chuckles, and I can’t help but laugh too.

She’s right. I dress like a nun.

She rests her hand on her hip. “I really wanted to wear it tonight.”

“Um, what’s happening tonight?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

“The second-years are having a concert. You should come! There’ll be music, bands, and other fun stuff.”

And a crowd and possibly smoke. The thought doesn’t appeal to me at all.

I scrunch up my face in distaste and lay back on the bed. “I think I’ll pass...I have to study and—”

“Blaze will be there.”

I sit up abruptly, and April chuckles. “I knew that would make you reconsider.”

“He will?”

“Yeah, it was his and some other guys in our year’s idea, so he’ll definitely be there. Him and that annoying James.” She turns back to her closet and continues her search.

I chuckle a little. I can’t understand why she dislikes him. James is a cool guy, and he’s never done anything to make me dislike him or even consider it. He’s just too goofy in a cute way.

“Why do you hate James so much? He seems nice...”

“Oh, I don’t hate him,” she begins. “He’s just annoying, and after that drunk incident with us last year, the only way I can cope is to pretend I hate him...”

Now I’m curious. Drunk incident?

“What are you talking about? What incident?”

She pauses, probably shocked that she’s let so much slip. She takes a deep breath, her body rising and falling, then turns to me.

“Um...okay...” She moves to sit next to me on the bed, and I scoot over to make room.

She holds out her pinky to me. “Promise you won’t tell anyone, not even the girls?”

I link my pinky with hers and nod. “Sure, I promise.”

“And not Blaze. He can’t know.”

“Got it. Your secret’s safe with me.”

She pushes her hair back and bites her lip, looking unsure. After a deep breath, she starts to talk.

“Okay, so...James and I...we sort of had sex once.”

My eyes pop open, and I choke on my own spit.

~Wait...what?~

I didn’t see that coming. She always seems so annoyed by him, so picturing them together is...weird.

She sighs. “Yeah, I know it’s a shock. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It was my first year, and we were at this party; James’s party back in his hometown. We were all drinking.

“I got really drunk, so I went upstairs to lie down. It was James’s room, and he didn’t know I was there.

“Yuna, who’d been dancing like a maniac all night, had thrown up on my shirt, so I went to clean it in his bathroom. I took it off to wash out the stain, and then he walked in.

“He was surprised to see me there in just my bra. I was too, but then...I don’t know...we were both drunk, so we started kissing, and then...well, it happened... God, I was so stupid, wasn’t I?”

It’s strange being the one to give advice to April. Usually, it’s the other way around. But even the best of us need help sometimes, and I’m glad I can finally be there for her.

I shake my head. “No, you weren’t. You were both drunk, it’s understandable.”

“But I knew what I was doing, at least a little. I don’t know why I didn’t stop.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Maybe he’s forgotten about it. I mean, he hasn’t mentioned it to anyone, right?”

April shakes her head. “Harmony, sex isn’t something you just forget. It’s a big deal. And I’m sure he remembers. I mean, the other night he texted me this.”

She pulls her phone from the nightstand and finds the message. She hands it to me, and I read the text.

James

I still can’t forget that night :-( Why are you acting like you hate me so much?

I blink. “Okay. You’re right. He definitely hasn’t forgotten.” I hand her phone back and sigh. “But look on the bright side. He respects you. He hasn’t told anyone.”

She crosses her arms. “I hope he doesn’t. That would be so embarrassing—the girls would all laugh at me.”

“Nah, James is cute and fun,” I say. “There’s no reason to feel bad. Did you guys ever talk about it?”

“No, not really. When I woke up naked next to him in the middle of the night while the party was still going on downstairs, I literally kicked him out of the bed.

“We were both sober by then. He was surprised too, but he wasn’t mad. I was, though.”

“Don’t worry, this will just be a college phase and you both will move past it in the future.”

She nods. “I hope so.”

I smile. “I know so.”

She smiles back, and there’s a grateful look in her eyes. “Thanks, Harmony. It’s nice having a girl talk with you.”

I shrug. “No problem. I’m glad to help. You’re always helping me.”

Her smile gets wider. “You’re welcome. By the way, can I still borrow that gray top?”

I laugh. “Sure, you can even borrow my whole closet.”

She laughs and shakes her head, scrunching up her nose. “No, just the gray top is fine.”

“I know. My fashion sense sucks.” And we both start laughing again.

April is like the big sister I never had. She’s the second-best thing that’s happened to me here at Homewood—Blaze Xander being the first.

My time at this school is starting to look up. Maybe my best college experiences are just beginning.

Well, at least, I hope so.