Chapter 90: You Just Need Love, I’ll Give You That

~“Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you.” —Coldplay.~

Chapter Theme Song: “Fix You” by Coldplay.

HARMONY

The music concert is just around the corner, and with all the recent drama, I've completely forgotten to practice a song.

Justine has asked me to pick one from the list and let her know by tomorrow. That way, the team can start practicing their parts.

I'm sitting on my dorm bed, legs tucked under me, scanning the music sheet when a knock at the door breaks my concentration.

I put the sheet aside, get up, and open the door. To my delight, I'm greeted by the handsome face and intoxicating scent of Blaze Xander.

I can't help but smile. “Hey.”

He steps into the room, closing the door behind him and pulling me into his arms. Before I can say anything, his lips are on mine in a passionate kiss.

I should be practicing a song right now, so I try to protest, but my words come out as muffled moans and groans.

He’s moving forward, kissing me with a hunger that makes me step back, careful not to trip over my own feet.

His fiery passion feels like a sweet onslaught of desire, as if he hasn’t kissed me in forever.

I lay back on my bed, and he lowers himself onto me, fumbling with my jeans while his lips leave mine to look into my eyes.

I take a deep breath. I hadn’t been breathing since his lips met mine. “Blaze...I need to practice a song. I have to tell Justine my choice by tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I won’t take long, baby.”

I frown. “Don’t call me ‘baby’.”

He chuckles as he starts to pull down my jeans. “What should I call you then?”

“~Harmony~... ‘Baby’ makes me feel like I'm just another girl...”

He smiles, a soft emotion lighting up his eyes. “But you’re not just another girl. You’re special to me, Harmony...” He kisses me lightly. “I mean it...”

I blush at his words as he lifts my T-shirt over my head.

Then he flips us over so that I am on top of him. He unclasps my bra, freeing my breasts.

His pupils dilate with desire as he takes in the sight of me, and he covers one breast with his hand, pinching the nipple between his fingers.

I let out a soft moan and feel him harden beneath me.

“I want you this way...,” he says, pulling off his T-shirt and unzipping his jeans.

He takes a condom from his pocket, tears it open, and slips it on. He releases his erection from his boxers, and I almost back out at the sight of it.

I watch him as I breathe heavily, then he guides my head down to kiss him.

I feel his erection against my bare thigh, and I gasp into the kiss as he moves my panties aside.

His hand leaves my neck to lift me up.

Our lips part as he looks into my eyes. His gaze is intense, piercing my soul. And then he slowly lowers me onto him.

I gasp at the sensation and size of him. It feels as though he’s bigger from this angle, and I clutch his chest.

He hisses, throwing his head back. “Damn...”

He tries to push me further down onto him, and I whimper at the stretch.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his face flushed and his lips red.

It doesn’t hurt like the first time. It stings a bit, but the pleasure is stronger. I nod, feeling dizzy. “Y-yes...”

“Ride me,” he rasps, guiding my hips.

I hold onto his shoulders as I move back and forth. It’s like that time at the party, only this time there’s nothing between us.

It’s just skin on skin.

And it feels amazing.

Blaze lies back, and the new position makes him feel even bigger. I moan at the sensation and instinctively grind against him.

He closes his eyes and bites his lip. “Just like that, Harmony.”

I don’t even know what I’m doing. But I’m trying, and he seems to like it.

He reaches around to my butt and pulls me down against him. A sharp slap on my cheek makes me jump, and he chuckles, sweat shining on his forehead.

He pushes me down on him as he kisses me passionately, our tongues twisting together. And then he flips us over, so he’s on top, but we’re still connected.

I look up at him, and he quickly pulls off his shirt, throwing it aside.

He leaves his pants on and bends over to kiss me again, his necklace brushing against my breasts.

And then he thrusts into me again. Roughly. I gasp as he pulls out and thrusts again, making me cry out as I bury my face in the pillow.

He kisses the top of my head and continues his relentless pace, showing me a different kind of lovemaking than our first time.

I can feel my climax building, and he gently holds my face, making me look at him.

“Keep looking at me,” he breathes, cupping my jaw and stroking my cheek.

“Oh, God. Blaze...”

“I know, babe. I know.” He kisses me again as he thrusts into me over and over. Until I can’t hold back any longer and shatter beneath him.

His name is a mantra on my lips as he silences my cries of pleasure with a deep, passionate kiss. He’s moving faster now, his eyes locked on mine, his muscles tensing. But this time, he doesn’t whisper those three words I long to hear: ~I love you~.

I try to ignore the absence of his declaration until the waves of our shared climax recede. He rolls off me, lying on his back, his breath coming in heavy pants.

I wanted to hear him say it again. I really did.

We lie there, side by side, catching our breath. Blaze takes a deep breath and sits up. He takes care of the used condom before rolling back to me, wrapping his arms around me and planting a kiss on my cheek.

“You okay, babe?”

His breath is still ragged, and I smile, nodding. I snuggle my head against his chest, trying to ignore the nagging thought in my mind.

It doesn’t matter if he didn’t say it this time. He said it once, and his actions speak louder than words.

He runs his fingers through my damp hair, planting a kiss on my forehead. I look up at him, and he grins down at me. “What?”

I shake my head. “Nothing...it’s just that...I love you, Blaze.”

~Will he say it back? Please, let him say it back.~

He gives me a small smile and pulls me closer. “Is April coming back tonight?”

And he didn’t say it. ~That stings.~

I shrug. “No...she’s not at Homewood. Why?”

“I want to stay here with you,” he says, kissing my head. “Being with you makes me happy. We could just lie here and talk, and maybe...do that again. Five more times.” He chuckles, and I blush against his chest.

“I want you to stay too...”

I can feel him smiling against my hair. Then a thought crosses my mind, and I look up at him again. “Blaze.”

“Mm?”

I swallow hard. “Did you really do something to Maddie? Mal said you caused her phase to relapse.”

He sighs. “I just told her what she already knew...that’s all.”

I turn so I’m facing him. “What happened between you two in the past?”

His face tightens a bit, and I can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it. I consider dropping it, but he speaks first.

“It’s pretty much what you heard. I slept with her, but I wasn’t serious. She couldn’t handle the rejection, so she got a little...obsessed.”

“What exactly did she do?”

“A lot of things. Crazy things. If she saw me with another girl, she’d call her later and threaten her to stay away from me.

“One day, I was talking to this girl from one of my classes—I was actually flirting with her—and Maddie saw us.

“Later that day, the same girl ended up in the hospital with a head injury from a metal pipe.”

My eyes widen. “Wh-what?”

“Nobody suspected Maddie, but I knew how crazy she was, and still is. I was sure she was the one who did it. I know what she’s capable of, Harmony. She could hurt you.”

I swallow hard, a chill running down my spine. “Mal said you told her to commit suicide. Is that true?”

“No, it’s not. I mean, technically, she said it first, so I just told her to go ahead...”

^Flashback^

BLAZE

~“Blaze, wait!” Maddie burst into my dorm room, grabbing my arm, begging me to look at her.~

~I pulled my arm away and turned to face her, anger flashing in my eyes.~

~“You hit someone in the head with a metal pipe—are you fucking insane? That’s exactly why I’ll never want you. I mean, I don’t care about anyone, but that’s just psychotic, Maddie.”~

~“Blaze.” She sniffed, her eyes wild. “I did that because I love you so much, and I can’t be without you. We can start over, we can—”~

~“Hold on, start over? We didn’t have anything to begin with. Yeah, we had sex, but that’s it. You need to get over it and move on.”~

~“I can’t do that! You’re the one I want. You’re the one I need, Blaze!”~

~“If you don’t stop, I’m going to report you for stalking.”~

~“Then do it!” she cried. “Do it! I don’t care because when I get out of jail, I’ll find you. I’ll find you, Blaze, and I’ll make you mine. I’ll still love you. I’ll always love you!”~

~I ran my hand through my hair. “What the fuck did I get myself into? This girl is crazy...”~

~She grabbed my arm. “Blaze, please? Let’s work this out... We can work this out.”~

~I pulled away. “You’re creeping me out. Get out.”~

~I turned away, but she pulled me back to face her. Tears streamed down her face, and I sighed, rolling my eyes.~

~“How do you unfuck someone...”~

~“Don’t do this to me...please.”~

~“Why the hell are you harassing me? Huh? Tell me. I told you from the start that I don’t do love. I told you it’s all about sex or nothing, but you just had to get attached.~

~“You just had to dive right in when I told you not to. I’m an asshole. Everyone at Homewood knows that. All the other girls stick to the rules with me.~

~“After they get their share of pleasure, they leave, but you? You’re the only one who keeps coming back and annoying the hell out of me. I don’t know what you want from me.”~

~“I just want love,” she said, pushing her hair back.~

~“Well, I can’t give you that, so don’t waste your breath,” I replied, turning away, tired of the conversation.~

~“I’ll kill myself!”~

~Her words stopped me in my tracks. I slowly turned back to her. “What did you just say?”~

~“I’ll kill myself!” she screamed again. “Maybe then you’ll wish you’d wanted me! I can’t live without you, Blaze!”~

~A memory of my mother, the woman who had tormented me, sitting on the bed with a gun to her head, flashed in my mind.~

~I felt a surge of anger as I looked at Maddie. My eyes hardened on her tear-streaked face, and I grabbed her arm.~

~She swallowed hard, her eyes filled with fear and a glimmer of hope.~

~I pulled her towards me, and she almost fell against my chest. I glared down at her, my hand tightening around her wrist.~

~A smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth, and she looked confused.~

~“You want to kill yourself?”~

~She swallowed again.~

~“Go ahead,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t care. You’re pathetic...you disgust me.”~

~Her eyes widened in shock. Tears streamed down her face. “Blaze...”~

~“After all the hell you put me through, you want to kill yourself? You want to commit suicide after you messed with my head and turned me into a monster?~

~“Go ahead. Kill yourself! I don’t give a damn.”~

~I let go of her, and she stumbled back. Her tears started again, and I walked away, slamming the bathroom door behind me.~

~A few moments later, I heard her scream and then the sound of footsteps running out of the room.~

^Present^

HARMONY

I think Blaze said those things to Maddie because her threat of suicide reminded him of his mother. Those were the words he wished he could have said to her.

His mother had hurt him, then killed herself, leaving him alone with the monster she had created inside him. I can’t help but feel sorry for the boy lying next to me.

He sighs. “I’m a jerk, aren’t I?”

I shake my head. “No, you’re not. None of this is your fault, Blaze.”

“Don’t lie. I know I’m an asshole. Harmony...I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me...but I care what you think. I don’t want to be a bad person in your eyes.”

I smile a little. His words are like a refreshing drink on a hot day.

“You’re not a bad person, Blaze. You just need love, and I’m willing to give you that.”

He smiles, and I lean in to kiss him. He sighs contentedly, holding my cheek and deepening the kiss.

He pulls me closer, but my phone rings, interrupting us.

I smile. “Just a minute...”

Blaze nods, licking his lips as I pick up my phone. My smile fades when I see it’s my mom calling.

Even though she can’t see me, I feel nervous lying in bed with Blaze. I clear my throat and answer the call. “Hello?”

“Harmony, I’m at Homewood right now. Which dorm is yours?”

My eyes widen, and I sit up quickly, startling Blaze. “You okay?”

I put a finger to my lips to shush him, and he looks confused as I grab my jeans, not caring that he can see my bare legs.

“You’re at Homewood?”

His finger hooks into the waistband of my underwear, and I slap his hand away as my mom continues talking.

“I need to talk to you about something. I thought you should know first.”

“Okay, Mom.” I get out of bed, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Blaze frowning. “Just wait at the front of the school...I’ll meet you there.”

“Why can’t we talk in your dorm, Harmony?”

“No, Mom, we can’t talk in my dorm.”

“Why not, young lady?”

“It’s messy. I haven’t cleaned yet.”

Blaze chuckles softly, mouthing “~you liar~” at me, but I just grin and wave him away.

“Okay, I’m on my way.” I hang up and turn around. Blaze is propped up on his elbows, watching me with a lustful look in his eyes.

“My mom’s here. I have to go see what she wants.”

He starts to say something, but I’m already rushing to the bathroom to freshen up. When I come back out, he sighs.

“Don’t be long...I want to cuddle with you.”

I smile a little. “I won’t be long...I hope.”

I leave the room quickly, running my fingers through my hair to tidy it. My mom texts me to say she’s by the school’s chapel.

I head there, my hands sweaty with anxiety.

She’s perched on one of the patio chairs, her head bowed low. It’s odd to see her here on a school night, given how busy she usually is. What could be so pressing?

As I draw closer, I notice she’s crying. She’s dabbing at her eyes and sniffling, and my heart gives a little jolt.

Has something terrible happened? She looked just like this when she broke the news about Dad’s death.

I slide into the chair next to her, my face etched with concern. “Mom, are you okay?”

She nods, but the tears pooling in her eyes tell a different story.

I let out a sigh. “No, you’re not. What’s wrong? Did...did you lose your job?”

“No, honey. I just feel like I’ve let your father down.” She wipes her eyes.

“What do you mean, Mom?”

She brushes her hair back and sniffs, running her slender finger under her nose. “It’s just that...I’ve fallen for someone else.”

I blink. “W-what?”

“I know. I feel like I’ve betrayed him, but I can’t help it. He’s just so kind and gentle...and he’s helping me heal from the pain of losing your dad, and I’m just so grateful to him.”

I swallow hard. “Him? Who’s him?”

She presses her lips together and drops her gaze, then looks back up at me, letting out a sigh. “Mr. Blake. I think I’ve fallen for him.”