Chapter 91: Can’t Give You Up, Won’t Give You Up

~“Love me, don’t let goodbyes come too easy.” —Jessie Reyez.~

Chapter Theme Song: “Apple Juice” by Jessie Reyez.

HARMONY

I’m staring at my mom, my eyes wide with shock, trying to make sense of what she just said.

“I know it’s too soon, but he’s the medicine that I need right now, Harmony. Mr. Blake is a great man, and I don’t know, he makes me feel so alive...”

~This can’t be happening.~

“Mom...” I swallow hard, trying to find the right words to dissuade her from dating the man whose son I’m in love with. “Mom, you can’t really date Mr. Blake.”

~That might have been a bit too blunt.~

“What?” She wipes her eyes.

I let out a heavy sigh. “You can’t be with him, Mom...”

“Sweetheart, I know it seems like I’m betraying your father, but I can’t control my feelings. He’s a great man, and he would be a great father figure to you and Eli, and—”

“Mom,” I cut her off. “You can’t date him...because...” I sigh again while she watches me closely. “Because I’m in love—”

“I know it’s hard for you to imagine me with anyone else but your father. I know that, but Mr. Blake? He’s a good man. He’s trustworthy and funny, and he makes me laugh so much.

“I haven’t been genuinely happy in a while. He erases all the frustration and heartache from my past. I wish you’d understand.”

I should have seen this coming. I should have expected this, seeing how she trusted him to let me spend the night at his house.

It hasn’t been that long since they met; how could she have fallen for him this fast?

But who am I to judge? It took me about one minute to fall for Blaze’s eyes on orientation night.

I slump my shoulders. This is hard; so hard. I wasn’t expecting this.

But Blaze warned me. He told me that something was sparking between them. Why didn’t I listen? But even if I had, that wouldn’t have stopped her from falling for him.

“I just wish you’d approve, baby. I’m so sorry that I have feelings for someone other than your father. I’m really sorry, Harmony.”

I look away, closing my eyes and trying to gather my scattered thoughts. This is just too much, even for the notorious Harmony Skye, who had her body photographed on a cellphone.

This? This is the real deal. This is the real dilemma that I never saw coming.

“Harmony, say something.”

I frown. “I’m thinking, Mom.” I meet her teary eyes, and I feel my heart shatter at the sorrowful look on her face. I haven’t seen my mom this vulnerable since that night we were at the hospital.

I puff out my cheeks. “Have you told him?”

“Not yet...I want to. He invited us over for dinner this weekend, so I was planning on telling him then. I can tell he feels the same, but we’re both so scared. We’ve been through so much...”

I hold my forehead, trying to keep it together.

“He lost his wife, and I lost your father. It’s been so rough for us. Sweetheart, just please be happy for me. I haven’t been this content in a while. Mr. Blake makes me happy.”

I don’t know what to say. I want to tell her that I’m already in love with Blaze, but that would only break her fragile heart. I see the joy in her eyes when she talks about the man. I see how happy he makes her.

But I love Blaze, and I can’t lose him. I need to find a way to tell her, but I can’t do it now, not when she’s crying like this in front of me.

Maybe that’s just me making excuses because I can’t muster up the courage to do it.

I’m not supposed to be dating, according to her irrational rules, and the fact that I’ve been with Blaze for so long and haven’t told her about it is another issue right there.

“I need some time,” I tell her softly.

She nods. “Okay, honey, I’ll give you time and space to think about it. I hope you know that I’m not betraying your father. Come here.”

She wraps her arms around me in a hug, patting my back while sobbing softly. “I love you, baby.”

I force a smile but inside, I’m breaking into a million unidentifiable pieces. “I love you too, Mom.”

I close my eyes, laying my head against her shoulder and praying that this is all a nightmare.

A nightmare that I will soon wake up from.

***

I walk back to my dorm room and still haven’t woken up. No sounds of alarms and no morning sun kissing my face. This is real. My mom has feelings for Mr. Blake while I’m in love with the man’s son.

My life certainly couldn’t get any more complicated than this.

I take a deep breath and open the door to my room. Blaze is lying on his side now. His head is resting on his palm while he chuckles, seemingly watching something on my laptop.

His teeth are so white and perfect as he laughs at the screen, and they remind me that his father’s teeth are just as beautiful. But then I recall that my mother is in love with him, and my mood crashes even more.

I close the door behind me, and Blaze switches his focus from the movie and to me, a huge smirk on his face.

“And she’s back.” He glances at the clock on the wall above him. “I was right. I knew it’d take you forty-five minutes tops.”

I force a smile, but I could have done a better job. He picks up on the sloppy attempt and narrows his eyes. “Are you okay?”

I sit beside him. “What are you watching?”

“A movie...a horror one, you won’t like it.”

I shake my head, a genuine smile surfacing my face. “No wonder you were smiling like that.”

He chuckles. “Mm. Yeah...”

He shuts his laptop and moves closer to me. Biting his lower lip, his eyes drift down to my legs.

I recognize that look. Man, his libido is off the charts. I can’t keep pace.

He pulls me into his arms, and I frown. “Blaze.”

“What?” He laughs, then pecks my cheek. “Tell me you don’t want me too, babe...”

His voice is low and enticing as he trails kisses down to my cleavage. It feels amazing, and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I want you too, but I need to tell you something first...”

Reluctantly, he pulls back to look at me. “You have something to tell me? About what?”

I turn to face him, and he tilts his head, trying to read my expression as he raises an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“It’s about my mom...”

“Okay?”

“She, um, has feelings for your dad,” I confess.

Blaze just stares at me for a moment, then I watch as his face slowly hardens, his lips forming a grim line.

He looks away and lets out a deep sigh. “Why am I not surprised?” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “I knew something was going on with them.”

I sigh. “What do we do now?”

He looks at me in disbelief, scrunching up his face as if I just spoke a foreign language. “What do you mean ‘what do we do now?’”

I half-shrug, nervously looking down at my fingers. “She’s my mom, and she looks so happy when she—”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Blaze hisses, running his hand through his hair. “Are you considering breaking up with me so your mom can be with my dad?”

~That’s not what I was thinking.~

I shake my head, meeting his gaze. “That’s not it.”

“Sure sounds like it to me,” he growls, getting off the bed angrily. I get up behind him, reaching out to grab his arm, but he spins around to face me.

“I don’t want a weak lover, okay? So stop looking so guilty like we’re doing something wrong.

“We were together before they even met, and I’m not giving you up just so they can be together. I’m a selfish bastard, and I couldn’t care less about their feelings.”

“She’s still my mom, Blaze, don’t talk like that.” I frown, looking away.

He puts his hands on his hips, lowering his head and muttering curses under his breath. “What did you say to her when she told you she has feelings for him?”

“I told her I needed time,” I answer honestly. “Because I do, and—”

“Time to do what?”

“Time to think about it, Blaze.”

“Harmony.” He meets my gaze, his eyes stern. “You need time to think about it? To think about what?

“You should have told her right away that she can’t be with him because WE, you and I, are already together!”

“Blaze, it’s not that simple. I-I tried to tell her, but she was crying, and it hurts so much to see my mom cry. It’s like a constant stab in the heart...you wouldn’t understand.” I look down.

Blaze nods, my words unintentionally striking a chord within him. “You’re right. What does a sociopath like me know about empathy, right?”

My gaze softens. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure, but that’s what it sounded like. Harmony, listen, I don’t care if they’re in love. We found each other first, and if they think I’m going to give you up then they’re mistaken.

“I won’t give you up. Why? Because you mean the world to me...and I don’t want to go back to who I was before we met.”

I smile a little. Even amid all this chaos, I still blush like a fool.

I wasn’t thinking of leaving him. How could I when I can’t even remember who I was before we met? He’s my everything now.

“I wasn’t suggesting that we break up, Blaze,” I reassure him. “I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t want you to leave me either.”

He takes a sharp breath as if my words have calmed his soul, then steps closer to me. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer.

“I won’t leave you...and you can’t leave me either, Harmony. You can’t do that to me.”

I look up at him; his eyes are so soft and vulnerable. “I won’t, Blaze. I can’t leave you, and I won’t...”

He smiles a little, then leans down to kiss my forehead. I close my eyes, feeling his lips against my skin.

He steps back and reaches behind me, grabbing his shirt. I watch as he pulls it over his head in one swift motion.

“Where are you going?” I ask, studying his face.

“I’m going to see my dad. Don’t stay up too late.” He turns to leave, and I grab his arm to stop him.

“Are you going to fight with him?”

He looks at me. “No, Harmony, we’re just going to talk. Don’t worry.”

My face softens. “I want to come with you.”

“No, it’s better if you—”

“Please?”

He sighs and thinks for a moment. “All right, come.” He takes my arm and leads me out with him.

***

The car ride is silent, and I can tell Blaze has a lot on his mind.

Night has fallen, and the moon is high in the sky, cushioned by a few night clouds that make the horizon look like a scene from an expensive painting.

I glance over at him, watching as his brows furrow and his hands tighten and loosen around the steering wheel.

What’s going on in his head? Is he thinking about decking Mr. Blake? He wouldn’t, would he? But then again, this is Blaze we’re talking about.

“You going to his place?” I ask, glancing around to see if we’ve taken this route before.

He shakes his head. “Nah, he won’t be home now. We’re headed to his work. St. Vincent Police Station. He’ll be there.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, his work? What if he loses his job...”

“He won’t lose his job; he’s the big boss there.”

I nod, understanding.

He falls silent again as we drive. Soon, we pull into a parking lot, a large sign in bright, bold letters looming over the two-story building.

ST. VINCENT POLICE STATION.

“Blaze, don’t do anything crazy, like punching him,” I murmur. “From what I can tell, my mom hasn’t even told him that she—”

I stop mid-sentence when I realize he’s not listening. He’s already unbuckled his seatbelt and is out of the car.

I quickly unbuckle and get out, closing the door behind me. I try to catch up with him, but he’s already stepping through the glass doors of the station.

He strides past the front desk cop, who shakes his head and mutters, “Still a rude little brat.” Seems like even he knows Blaze Xander’s reputation.

I give the man a polite smile and gesture that I’m with Blaze. He just nods and waves me off.

I thank him and hurry to catch up with Blaze, whose strides are as fast as the wind.

Blaze pushes open the door to an office, and a blast of cool air hits us. Mr. Blake looks up from a pile of files on his desk.

He’s in a brown uniform with blue stripes on the sleeves, and a nameplate reading “Mr. Blake Xander: Chief of Police” sits on his marble-topped desk.

The smell of paper and coffee fills the room as we walk in.

“Blaze?” He looks surprised by our sudden visit. “Harmony? What brings you kids here?”

“Some promise keeper you are, huh?” Blaze starts, and I bite my lip nervously. His eyes darken as he looks at his father, who tilts his head in confusion.

The tension in the room is so thick, it’s suffocating.

I swallow hard. “I’ll wait outside...” I leave the room quickly, giving Blaze and his father some privacy.

I stand by the door, just in case Blaze decides to do something reckless. I know how unpredictable he can be. I just hope this doesn’t push them further apart.

BLAZE

Blake lets out a sharp breath. “What are you talking about, Blaze?”

I scoff. “Don’t play dumb. I know what you did, okay?”

He spreads his arms wide, a look of confusion on his face. “What?”

He looks so genuinely clueless that he almost convinces me.

“You said you didn’t have feelings for Harmony’s mom, and now I hear she’s in love with you? Why does your womanizing always mess up my life?”

“Blaze.” He sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Be clear—what do you mean she’s in love with me?”

“She told Harmony today that she loves you!” I raise my voice.

He looks shocked as his eyebrows knit together. “I...I have no idea what you’re talking about, Blaze. She never said that to me. Not once.”

“Well, you must’ve given her some kind of signal to make her fall for you, Blake. I’m not an idiot. Don’t forget, I’ve seen your ‘charms’ in action for years.

“You used your usual tricks on her, didn’t you?”

“Listen.” He stands up and walks around his desk to face me. “Blaze, I know it looks like I’m involved with Haylee, but we’re just friends.

“As for what she told her daughter, I have no idea. She never said anything like that to me.”

I narrow my eyes. “Then tell me, what do you feel for her? Do you like her?”

He clears his throat and looks away. I note the delay in his response and the guilty look on his face. I have my answer.

“Ha.” I snort in disbelief. “I knew it. You like her.”

“Blaze, I’m working. We’ll talk about this later.”

“You love her!” I yell. “You actually love her. I thought you were over your womanizing ways, but you’re still the same. You’re still letting your hormones screw up my life.”

“Fine!” He sighs. “I like her. I have strong feelings for her. Is that a problem, Blaze? I like her a lot, and she makes me happy. Being around her makes me really happy.

“What? Am I not allowed to be happy too? God, for the past few years, I’ve only focused on you, and you don’t even care about how I’m doing, Blaze!”

“Why are you messing with my life, Blake! Why couldn’t you have fallen for someone else?! What do you think is going to happen? Huh?

“What, you’re planning to be with her, marry her, have kids? Then what? Harmony and I become stepsiblings?

“If you don’t want a messed-up family, then you better back off, Blake. Because you and Haylee being together won’t stop me from being with Harmony.

“The sin will be on your shoulders, and we both know that a little ‘sin’ is nothing for someone like me to commit!”

“I didn’t say I was going to be with her!” He raises his voice. “So put that arrogance aside! Furthermore…” He crosses his arms.

“Even if Harmony ends up as your stepsister, what’s the big deal? She’ll still be around you every day. I think it’s better to have her close as a sibling than a girl you could walk away from at any moment.”

“What are you saying?” I ask, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“I’m saying, I don’t trust you. I think you’re going to hurt her. You always screw up a good thing.”

“And you don’t? You destroyed Liz, remember? You cheated on her and made her condition worse. You’re the one who screwed up a good thing! Not me.”

I can see my words hit him hard, and his jaw clenches.

“Okay...I had an affair while I was married to your mother. I was lonely, and I was stressed with everything going on with her health and you, and—”

“Don’t forget that you didn’t lift a finger to help me when you knew she was abusing me, so don’t play the victim. You’re not, Blake.”

His eyes well up as he covers his mouth with his hand and takes a deep breath. “Okay, I share the blame. Don’t you think I know that?

“I’ve spent years beating myself up, years hating myself, thinking about how Liz might still be alive and how you might have had a normal childhood if I had just taken everything more seriously than my job.

“I didn’t give you guys the attention you needed, and I’m sorry. But are you going to hold it over my head for the rest of your life? I’ve apologized so many times, Blaze.”

“What good is an apology when the damage is already done? I’m already messed up.”

Blake sighs. He doesn’t know how to respond to that; he knows it’s true. He rubs his hand over his face.

“I invited Haylee to have dinner with us on Saturday. She said she has something to tell me. I’ll tell her then. I’ll let her know that we can’t be together.

“I’ll put my feelings aside—for you, Blaze. Your happiness is more important to me, so I’ll put my feelings on the back burner. I owe you that much...”

I don’t know why, but hearing him say that, I start to feel something like guilt. I’ve never felt remorse towards my father or anyone else, except Harmony. Something must be wrong with me.

I run a hand through my hair. “Please. Harmony is my happiness. Don’t ruin it.”

Blake looks at me, and there’s a spark of surprise in his blue eyes. “D-did you just say please?”

That word. I wouldn’t normally say it to him unless I was trying to make a point. This time, my tone is sincere and pleading, almost as if I’m begging him not to interfere.

This is new to me. I can feel myself changing, and I’m sure my dad can feel it too.

I swallow. “I’m leaving...”

I turn away from him and walk out, leaving him standing at his desk, confused.

HARMONY

Blaze walks out of the room but stops when he sees me standing at the door. I know he knows that I heard everything, even the part about me being his happiness.

His cheeks turn red, and he scratches his neck. “Let’s go.”

He walks away, and I can’t help but smile a little. That was sweet. His tone and actions were so different from the Blaze I used to know.

I knock on Mr. Blake’s open door before stepping inside. He seems lost in thought, but as soon as he hears my footsteps, he looks up at me with a small smile. “I thought you left.”

I shake my head. “I was outside. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Sure.” I can see in his eyes that he’s still worried about his earlier argument with Blaze. He leans back against his desk as he waits for me to speak.

“I...” I sigh. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Blake.”

He tilts his head to the side. “For what, Harmony?”

“For ruining your happiness.” I look down. “If I hadn’t fallen for your son then—”

“No...no, it’s okay. You two found each other first, and I would never ruin what you have. I’ll tell Haylee right away that this can’t work. I’ll tell her that you and Blaze are already involved.”

I feel kind of bad. Like I’m messing up a good thing.

“Actually, please don’t tell my mom that Blaze and I are involved,” I tell him, and he looks confused.

“Why?”

“I want to tell her myself...when I’m ready.”

He nods. “Okay...I understand.”

I manage a small smile. “Well...see you on Saturday.”

He smiles back. “Sure, dear. And tell Blaze not to worry. I won’t interfere.”

I feel a warmth spread through me. “Okay...I’ll tell him, Mr. Blake.”

He grins. “Okay, dear. Well, I need to get back to work, so...I’ll see you this weekend, kiddo.”

I nod. “Okay. Have a great night.”

“You too.”

I leave the room with my head down and a painful feeling in my stomach. And this pain isn’t physical, it’s emotional—and it hurts like hell.

I join Blaze in his car, and he notices my downcast expression.

“You okay? What were you doing in there?”

“Just talking to him.” I sigh, closing the door.

“About what?”

“I feel so bad, Blaze.” I fasten my seatbelt, looking into his eyes. “They found happiness in each other, and it feels like we’re destroying that.”

Blaze puffs out his cheeks and turns in his seat to face me. “Harmony, we found happiness in each other too. We found each other first. It’s not fair for us to give up what we have just so they can be together.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could care, but I don’t.”

He gently lifts my chin with his hand. “Look at me.” I raise my eyes to meet his, and he softly strokes my cheek with his thumb. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I’m selfish when it comes to you.”

I can’t help but smile, my eyes rolling in a playful tease. “You’re selfish when it comes to everything...”

He lets out a chuckle. “Well, that’s... somewhat accurate.”

I giggle in response. “It’s completely accurate.”

He grins at me. “I can’t argue with that smart mouth of yours.” His gaze drops to my lips. “That sexy, pink, smart mouth...”

I feel my cheeks heat up, and he leans in, pressing his soft lips to mine.

~This feels so right, could it last forever?~