Too Hard: Chapter 2

“WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?” I snap at Brandon, who’s chuckling at my oh-so-amusing misery on the other end of the line.

“Actually, pretty high if you think about it. His brother built that place, Blair, and you knew Cody was moving out of Nico’s, right? I did tell you. I’m sure I did.”

“No, you didn’t.” I pat a mover on the shoulder, before showing him where to leave the boxes. “Even if I knew, I would’ve expected he’d buy a mansion like Nico’s, not a condo.”

“The triplets are loaded, but not that loaded. Nico’s house is worth like, I don’t know… twenty-five million or something.”

I slump onto the sofa, using my hands to shield my eyes from the space quickly filling with furniture and boxes.

The instruction to carry everything back outside and reload the van sits unspoken on the tip of my tongue.

“He’ll be growling at me any chance he gets,” I whine. “I don’t want to live here.”

“Babe, you’re overreacting. Cody’s cool.”

“Cody hates me.”

I don’t know what’s worse. Staying here with the man who hates me more than I hate myself, or running straight back to my money-obsessed father.

Home is worse, I decide, swallowing hard. Cody can bark, growl, and glare all he wants, but I can bark, growl, and glare right back. There’s balance. Equal distribution of power. Something entirely absent in any dealings with my father.

“You have a point,” Brandon drawls in amusement. “But you know he won’t attack unprovoked. That’s more your style.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, his words striking a nerve.

He’s one hundred percent correct, but I’ve been working on myself for a long time now… alone.

Which—according to my therapist—is why I hadn’t made substantial progress until I started sessions with her. Now, with her help, I’m emerging out of the darkness, gradually finding ways to feel in control without projecting my hurt onto others.

“I recall you saying I’m not such a bitch these days.”

“Two points to you, babe. Still, attacking unprovoked is much more your style than Cody’s.” He pauses, then chuckles when I groan. “What? You’re backing down on your call it as you see it request?”

“No, not at all. It’s just… I wanted to be on good terms with my neighbors, you know? I wanted to bake cookies, introduce myself, exchange numbers and keys for emergencies like they do in the movies.”

“You can still do that. Suck it up. Take the initiative. Say hi, say sorry, say I hope we can leave the past where it belongs and just be civil. I happen to know Cody likes cookies.”

“I’m fresh out of cyanide.”

Brandon bursts out laughing in my ear. “You’ll be fine. If Cody could give me another shot, you’ll get one too.”

That won’t happen, but I don’t bother voicing my thoughts. Brandon only got a second chance from the triplets because of Mia. She forgave him for putting up a price on her virginity. Forgave him for being a relentless, clueless-in-his-pursuit asshole with an ego the size of the Grand Canyon. She forgave him because her petite frame hides more strength than it should ever be expected to hold.

Brandon made one bad call. One mistake fueled by how much he wanted her without realizing he was in love.

Still is in love.

Pure intentions, bad decisions.

With Mia’s forgiveness, the triplets followed, reluctantly giving Brandon a chance to prove his worth.

I don’t deserve the same treatment. Brandon’s one mistake pales compared to the years of bullying Mia endured at my hands. It doesn’t come close on the forgivability scale.

A second chance won’t happen, but I’ve made my peace with that. Not everyone deserves a second chance.

I most certainly don’t, even if my therapist has a different take on the matter.

“Either talk to Cody and clear the air, or if you’re afraid he’ll lash out, stay out of his way,” Brandon continues. “I guarantee he’ll return the favor.”

That he will.

Like Brandon said, Cody’s not the type to attack unprovoked. It’s been almost a year since that dreadful night when Jake cornered Mia. A year I spent on the sidelines, wondering how to rebuild my life and reputation while the majority—rightly so—blamed me for Jake’s actions that night.

I may not have played a direct part in that, but I hurt the girl time and time again over the years, using her as a means to gain something I never had.

As one of the primary sources of humiliation and pain for Mia—the girl who became the topic on everyone’s lips overnight and the girl the Hayes triplets regard as their little sister—I paid the price for years of bullying.

Again, rightly so.

The social pariah status was long overdue.

I wish it had happened years ago instead of people idolizing me and fueling the destructive cycle. Maybe I would’ve taken a long, hard look at myself sooner, but no one ever held me accountable.

They treated me like royalty. Like their queen, and the intoxicating rush of control, validation, and having my voice heard was too enticing, too important to consider the monster I’d become…

Until my senior year of high school, when a man more than three times my age opened my eyes on his luxury yacht.

For a while, through the murkiness of my past and the nightmare he put me through, I glimpsed clarity. I recognized my wrongs and chose a different way to make myself seen and heard.

I replaced bullying with promiscuity, diving headfirst into a maelstrom of meaningless sex.

Not the best way to recover.

My therapist labeled me self-destructive during our initial session last year. She wasn’t wrong.

I swapped one addiction for another, but my resolve wasn’t strong enough. I relapsed. I went back to bullying, humiliating Mia with fabricated nudes… and then I went off the deep end when I set her hair on fire.

I clench my teeth, shoving the memories aside, but as always, they claw their way back.

A lot has changed since Jake cornered Mia in the restroom last year. A lot of people have changed, including me.

My worshippers turned away, leaving me with nothing but determination to escape the vicious cycle my life had become.

Knowing what Jake did to Mia was hard to stomach, but there’s a big difference between knowing about it and having to watch it with my own two eyes.

The video Jake recorded while assaulting Mia was leaked. Watching her fear-stricken, tear-stained face, hearing the malicious delight in Jake’s voice as he preyed on her…

It hit so close to home I couldn’t sleep for days.

No woman should ever go through that. No man should ever abuse the power he holds.

After seeing the video, I understood there was no hope for me if I couldn’t let go of the hurt ripping me apart.

That’s when I took that long, hard look at myself. I didn’t like what I saw. I still don’t. Maybe I never will.

People blamed Brandon on par with Jake and me. After all, it was his stupid prize Jake wanted to win. But no one blamed Brandon more than he blamed himself. It took months before he composed himself enough to look in the mirror without smashing it to pieces. Months before he crawled out of the ditch he’d dug himself that night.

I’ve never seen a man fall from grace so fast. From the very top of the college hierarchy to the very bottom. From a king-of-the-world attitude to a complete wreck. Until then, he lived his lavish life in the fast lane without a care, then crashed into a brick wall that appeared out of nowhere.

That’s what love and an ocean of blame do, I guess. Brandon hadn’t realized what he wanted from Mia was more than physical. It was emotional, deep… real. He didn’t realize he was in love with her until it was too late.

He crumbled under the weight of regret, shame, and self-loathing. Therapy and countless hours crying in my arms saved him. Once he regained his footing, earning Mia’s forgiveness became his new mission.

Not an easy task when she’s dating the most ruthless man in town. Maybe the entire county. The man Newport looks up to. The man everyone respects.

But he managed to pull it off. With persistence and sheer fucking stubbornness, Brandon earned himself a second chance. He got his friends back and shed a portion of his pompous attitude along the way.

A bittersweet victory. No matter what he does, he’ll never get to play his cards right with Mia.

That girl is taken. Claimed by none other than my new neighbor’s older brother—Nico Hayes.

And he is obsessed with his girl.

Come to think of it, all the Hayes brothers go a bit Looney Tunes when they find the love of their life.

“I should start unpacking,” I tell Brandon, perfectly aware I’ve been silent for at least a minute.

He’s used to my long pauses. I’ve been zoning out, lost in my thoughts, for months.

The initial shock that rocked me when I saw Cody bought the condo across the hall has gradually eased off.

That’s not to say I’m looking forward to enduring his hateful stares for however long we’ll be neighbors.

A long time, I bet.

“Oh, and… it might be better if I skip your graduation party. I’ll have enough of Cody’s attitude on a daily basis now.”

“No, you’re not missing the party,” Brandon says, and the bed creaks on the other side of the line as if he snapped upright. “This is my last ever college party, babe. I’ve planned a bunch of fun games. Don’t stand me up. You’re coming. I’ve already ordered your favorite wine. Besides, it’s still two weeks away. Maybe you’ll work shit out with Cody by then.”

A sweet, sarcastic chuckle falls from my lips. “And maybe hell will freeze over.”

“You never know but, if nothing changes, dress to impress and fuck the haters.”

Easy for him to say. He salvaged his reputation. Mine’s still trashed. I may be on speaking terms with most people, but not the way I was. And no matter how many friends I win back, I’m ostracized wherever the triplets are present.

Brandon nagged me into crashing their Halloween party and I got booted the moment Cody saw me talking to Justin. The most humiliating night of my college career.

There’ve been many more humiliating and degrading situations in my life, but none this public. None caused by my peers.

I won’t be kicked out from the seniors’ last college hurrah, since Brandon’s organizing it, but it doesn’t make things any easier…

My old friends, the girls on the cheerleading squad, barely acknowledge me beyond a quick hey whenever we cross paths. I’ll likely be glued to Brandon’s side, hanging out with him, Finn, and Justin—the two guys who had Brandon’s back last year.

It’s a given the triplets will be there.

I don’t need their glaring on top of everything else I’m dealing with.

But I know Brandon. If I say no he’ll be here in a heartbeat and won’t leave until I say yes. A little white lie is in order.

“Okay, we’ll talk more when I see you,” I say, driving the point home with, “You better have ordered more than one bottle.”

“Three sound good?”

“Perfect.”

“Perfect,” he echoes with a drown-out sigh. “I’ll swing by soon.” With that, he hangs up.

The movers are gone, and my new condo is filled with boxes waiting to be unpacked. Not one person ready to help. Unlike across the hall, where I’m sure half the Hayes family is helping Cody.

Must be nice.