Too Hard: Chapter 31

SITTING IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE, I watch Cody disappear toward a café. A tight ball of nerves forms in the pit of my stomach the moment he’s out of sight but it’s not nearly as overwhelming as I’d anticipated.

Maybe because I faced Nico and Mia. Or maybe because Cody keeps me grounded in the present, calming me with a kiss or a look whenever my hands start shaking.

They’re doing it now, and while Cody’s getting me a mochaccino, I let my mind flicker back to our past few days together, to the sense of freedom and happiness he evokes. It’s in every shared glance, every lingering touch, every sweetly intimate kiss, and mind-bending orgasm.

And it’s certainly there every time he murmurs, I hate you in that low, tender voice. Each time he says it, another hidden bruise inside me heals a little more.

It’s new, this bliss. New, exciting, and addictive. He is addictive. The more time I spend with him, the happier I feel.

I pull my phone out of my purse at its quiet ringtone. Anxiety ripples through me as my father’s name blinks on the screen. I’ve been trying to reach him since last week, but now he’s calling, I’m tempted to let voicemail keep him from ruining my day.

Keeping it a secret from Cody, I started paving my way out over the past few days. I’ve not told Dad, but there’s nothing he can say to change my mind, so I’ve been quietly selling my valuables—designer purses, shoes, jewelry—piece by piece, hoping to scrape together enough money for somewhere to live when my father evicts me from my condo.

And he will because this is it. I’m done playing his games. Done sabotaging my life. It’s about time he found out.

“Hey,” I say, pressing the phone against my ear, eyes scanning the crowd for Cody. “I’ve been trying to reach you all week. We need to talk.”

“We’ll talk tonight. I need you at the Country Club at eight o’clock sharp. I’ll be heading there straight from the airport so make your own way.”

Biting the inside of my cheek, I lift my chin higher, pumping as much conviction into my words as I can. “I’m not coming.”

“What? What do you mean you’re not coming? And why is it so loud there? Where are you?”

“I’m at the airport.”

“Airport? Where the fuck are you going?” he snaps, his tone spiked with casual arrogance that makes my skin prickle.

“San Francisco,” I breathe out, my fingers tight around the phone. “Logan Hayes’ wedding.”

Silence rings between us, stretching so long it prompts me to check he’s still on the line. “Are—”

“You’re fucking Cody, aren’t you?”

I expected anger. Screaming. Insults… I didn’t expect him to sound amused.

Taken aback, my palms turn clammy. “We’re seeing each other,” I confirm quietly, falling silent when his low, dark laughter pierces my ear. “What’s so funny?”

“I always knew you were stupid, but you never struck me as naïve, Blair.” He laughs again, the sound grating. “Do you really think he’ll stick around? That you’re more than a temporary hole to indulge in?”

“Cody’s not like that. He cares about me, and I’m not—”

“He’s not like what? Like any other man keen to fuck easy pussy? You’re not Cinderella, Blair, and this isn’t a fairy tale. Don’t be childish.”

“He cares about me,” I utter, pinching the strap of my purse between my fingers. “He’s taking me to the wedding so I can meet his brothers. How do you explain that?”

“The reason doesn’t matter,” he says with conviction. “It’s the outcome that will crush you. Cody won’t stick around. Family is sacred to the Hayes, and you tormented Nico’s fiancée for years. You’re a vile human being, and Cody will drop you once the novelty wears off. Probably sooner than you think.”

I swallow hard, swatting my tears away. Dad’s wrong. Cody wouldn’t take me to the wedding if he wasn’t serious about us.

“You don’t know me,” I say, my voice quivering at the edges.

“No one knows you like I do. I fucking made you. Face it, Blair. The moment Nico snaps is the moment you and Cody are done. You’ll be flying back home in tears before midnight.” A bang at his end startles me so much I jump. I think he slapped his mahogany desk. “Do you really think he’ll choose you over his family? No one would choose you.”

First tears roll down my cheek, and more follow, Dad’s words hitting my insecurities with laser precision. “I’m different now,” I whisper. “I’m not a bad person. I’ve changed, Dad. I—”

“Changed?” he snorts, his voice dripping with disdain. “A leopard doesn’t change its spots. You’re still the same little girl, desperate for attention. Desperate to be seen, and you’ll do everything to be seen. You’re doing it right now, fucking around with a Hayes of all the men available in this town. I specifically asked you not to get involved with anyone. You had one job, and you couldn’t even do that. You’re problematic, Blair. You’re a liability, and you’re delusional if you think Cody won’t see it.”

Every word he speaks, laced with cruel certainty, claws my fragile defenses, shattering the cocoon of happiness that Cody’s woven around me.

“He loves me,” I stutter, covering my eyes with my hand. “He said so.”

“Did he now? And since no one’s allowed to lie about that, it must be true,” Dad laughs, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “I love you, Blair.”

A cold shiver slithers down my spine. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” he agrees, cold and ruthless. “And yet I said it. Cody says he loves you and he can do whatever the fuck he pleases. You live across the hall! It’s convenient. Wake up and smell the roses. Will you really throw away the future you spent your whole life working for? Be real, Blair. Look in the mirror. Admit that you’re not worth the trouble you’ll cause when you show up at Logan’s wedding.”

I hate him with everything in me. I hate his tone, the toxic, brutal symphony of accusations he spews, and I hate that he’s right.

I don’t deserve Cody. I never did, and I never will.

I scoff at my own stupidity. How did I let myself believe I could make him happy? How is forcing him to risk his family supposed to achieve that?

He’d be crushed if he had to give them up. It’s so obvious in the way his eyes light up when he talks about them, how great he is with his nephews, how much he loves Mia…

He won’t give them up. Not for someone like me.

Cody deserves more. Someone who’s not haunted by the past. He deserves everything, and I can barely offer anything. All I have is a truckload of baggage and a trail of bad decisions. The future I can promise isn’t easy or colorful.

It’s a heartache waiting to happen.

More tears ruin my makeup. It probably resembles a Halloween-worthy costume by now.

I’ve cried countless times in my life. What’s once more?

I love Cody. And, because I love him, I can’t let him risk losing his family over me. My mistakes can’t mess up his life. Even if he wants me now, it won’t last.

My father sighs long and heavy. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. You’re less and less useful as the days go by, so here’s what we’ll do. You lock in Archibald Duke, and you’re free to live your pathetic little life. The condo, car, money—all yours once Archibald signs the papers. One last deal, Blair. You won’t have to see me ever again.”

“Okay,” I manage, barely keeping my voice steady.

At this point, I don’t care about the condo or the money. I want to crawl into a ditch and stay there, but there’s a tiny voice whispering at the back of my mind I can’t ignore.

Falling apart is easy. Hold it together, even if only out of spite.

“Good choice,” Dad spits out. “One day, you’ll be sipping drinks on your yacht, looking back on this conversation, and you’ll thank me. Meet me at the Country Club at eight.”