Chapter 11 - Gremlins in the Girl's Bathroom

July 23

Malissa Goldthistle didn’t want to think she was lost. She knew where she was broadly speaking - the extra-judicial plane that was reserved for Bearlisp Academy of Magecraft. She knew that she was in Bearlisp’s main building. The guide had said as much when they had entered. Unfortunately, she admitted to herself with an uncharacteristic sigh, beyond that she was totally lost.

It was so much worse than just being lost though. She had to pee. Desperately. She fought her body’s attempt to force the issue, and after a moment the urgency waned. She needed to find a bathroom before anything else.

She found herself once again at a crossroads, both literally and metaphorically. The building hadn’t looked nearly this big when they had been walking up to it. Not that it had looked small by any means, but she should have long ago hit an outside wall. She hadn’t.

She looked right.

More empty hallways.

She looked left.

Yet another empty hallway.

She grumbled as her body reminded her unpleasantly that she needed a restroom. She did an embarrassing little dance, then she closed her eyes and turned right. She needed to go, the more she moved, the better her chances of stumbling on a bathroom.

She moved down yet another stone corridor filled with locked classroom doors. She walked quickly but not so quickly that it would disturb her pissed off bladder.

This sucks!

She peeked into a few open doorways, but all she saw was more empty classrooms or a janitorial closet. She briefly considered the unimaginable. She could just go in that bright yellow bucket and no one would have to know it was her. She shook her head and moved on.

She was stopped at another crossroads, when she practically touched the ceiling at the gentle tapping on her shoulder.

“Sorry. I am not meaning to startle you. You just look lostly,” a woman with a strange accent, overalls, and a mop said kindly from the hallway she had just come down.

“I’m just a little… turned around,” Malissa lied. Why did she do that? Why couldn’t she just admit that she was completely lost, “I’m looking for a bathroom?”

“Oooh. Is simple. Go this way,” she pointed down the hall that turned off the one they were standing in, “then two left, one right, up one stairs, and you find on left wall.”

“Two left, one right, up, and on the left,” she repeated as much for her own memory as for confirmation from the strange but kind woman.

“Yes. You have it.”

“Thank you so much,” Malissa called back as she made a beeline down the hall that the woman had indicated.

Did she care about how she was going to find her way back to her parents and the tour group? Not really. Would that have been a good thing to know? Absolutely. When she finally reached where the woman said the bathroom would be, it actually turned out to be on the right. Maybe she'd taken a wrong turn? Truthfully, it didn’t matter one bit to Malissa, who dashed in, and did her business. She had never been so grateful for a public restroom in her life as she sighed softly with relief.

“There’s supposed to be a colony of gremlins in this room, I’m gonna leave you to take care of them. Professor Dogface (my name for him, don’t call him that) needs me to help reinforce the cages in the advanced biology lab or else we’ll be neck deep in far worse than gremlins.”

“Yeah, but didn’t the request say they were in the girl’s restroom? Should I really be-”

“Huh? It’s fine. You're a girl aren’t you?”

“Well, yes, but some people-”

“Listen kid, you can’t go living your life based on what some people think. Or well, you can, but it’s f- really miserable. Trust me. You’re a girl, there is a problem in the girl’s restroom. If anyone gives you guff, you send ‘em to me, and I’ll sort them out, ‘kay?”

“Okay.”

“Oh, right, before I forget, here’s the circles you’ll need. This one acts like bait. Little f- uh, fellas like the smell it puts off, makes them think of- er, never mind what. Just set it, somewhere in the middle of the bathroom, and wait. This one banishes them back to the Hollow Lands where they will be someone else’s problem.”

Wait, is this bathroom infested? Gross!

Malissa sat eyeing the stall she was in and listened to the two talking about gremlins. What even were those! She’d certainly never seen one. This tour was so much more exciting than her last three. Also, did they make students do chores here? That’s crazy.

“So, how will I know when they’re all gone?”

“Stop talking for a sec, and listen.”

There was silence, and Malissa could hear her heart thumping in her ears.

Shoot! Am I not supposed to be here?

There was a strange scrabbling noise in the walls, and ceiling. She involuntarily shivered at the noise.

“Hear that?” there was no response from the other person, “When that sound isn’t being made anymore, they’re gone. You can use this third circle to check each of the walls. It’ll highlight life signs within two feet of you, cast it over one of your eyes. Make sure no one is in here before you use it. The last thing you need is the board thinking you're snooping in bathrooms. You got all that?”

“Yeah. How do I find you, once I’m done?”

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“I’ll probably be finished before you are, but in case I’m not, just wait here. The hallways change around in the main building, so you’ll just get lost if you go wandering.”

Oh! So that’s what happened. Wait, then how did the one woman know where the bathroom was?

“Alright. I’m off! Good luck. This will help with your casting speed, by the way. That library job took you way too long.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, I expected you to finish it up two days ago. Well, I suppose you are pretty new to magic, so maybe my expectations were too much. Who knows? Still, focus on casting quickly. Not that you’ll have much choice. And watch out, gremlins bite when they’re pissed off and they’ll be plenty pissed off, trust me.”

“Wait, bite?”

“Good luck, kid! I’m counting on you.”

“You’re joking, right?” there was a pregnant pause, “Groundskeeper?”

Malissa heard heavy footsteps walking away quickly, followed by a panicked, “Groundskeeper!”

There was a rustling of paper, “Um, is anyone in here?”

Crap! What am I supposed to do? Don’t be stupid, just say something.

“I am,” Malissa said lamely, “Just a second.”

An awkward silence followed her pronouncement, and she hurriedly finished what she was doing. She opened the stall door slowly. A girl was standing with her back to the room, wearing jeans and a beige tank top. Her brown hair was cropped at the shoulders, and a little frizzy. Malissa walked to the nearby sink and washed her hands. Still trying to figure out why the girl would think there was a problem with her being here.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” the girl said, “I’m just here to…”

“I heard you talking. What’s a gremlin look like?”

“I don’t… actually know. I’ve never seen one.”

“Oh,” Malissa said trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice, “Do most students do work around the academy?”

“I don’t think so? I mean I do because I’m part of the work study program.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m working for Groundskeeper on weekends and breaks in exchange for room and board.”

“Oh. Do you want some help with the gremlins?”

“I probably shouldn’t have you help me with my work. They’re watching me,” the girl pointed to a weird shadow with an eye lurking in the corner.

“When did that get there?”

“It’s been there. The school board is evaluating my work performance, so I should probably get started.”

“Oh, I’ll just get out of your-”

Malissa stopped cold when she turned and saw the things between her and the exit. Max gave her a weird look, but inhaled sharply when she turned around. There were about a dozen creatures with long fur with patches of different colors staring at the two of them. They couldn’t have been more than six inches tall, standing on their hind legs like weird little teddy bears with cat-like ears.

“When did those-”

“I don’t know. Do you think they’ll let me pass?” Malissa tried to move towards the door, but the one in front showed its sharp disturbingly pristine white teeth and hissed. There were a lot more of the teeth than she thought was actually possible for such a small mouth, and she didn’t relish the idea of getting bit by them. She quickly stepped back behind the other girl.

“Okay, I can do this,” the girl said, desperately looking at the hand drawn circle on the paper in her hand, “Visualize, push the energy into the circle, once it’s powered, aim, release.”

She held her hand out, and a disturbing amount of nothing happened.

“Are you sure you’re a student here?” Malissa took another step back.

“Technically? Not yet. I’m starting this next semester.”

“So you don’t know what you’re doing?!”

“I’ve done some magic, I just need a second to concentrate.”

The gremlins moved forward slowly, the girl stepped back and muttered under her breath studying the drawings. She held her hand out, and with a zap three of the gremlins disappeared.

The girl exhaled, “Oh, thank gods.”

The shadow in the corner with the eye simply stared at the scene.

“Okay, but there are a lot more of them.”

“Yes, but I can just-”

The gremlins charged them. Malissa ran back to the stall she had been in. She thought the girl would have followed her, but she didn’t.

“Ow! Stop that!” the other girl cried, followed by three more rapid-fire zaps.

Malissa jumped onto the toilet when three more gremlins came from under the stall’s wall. They tried to jump at her but thankfully they couldn’t manage to climb the tile wall or get a purchase on the edge of the toilet. They made what would have been adorable growling noises, but the teeth and ferocity with which they were trying to get at her made it anything but.

The stall door burst open and the girl did something with her hand and they disappeared with another zap.

“Did you get hurt?”

“No, did you?”

“They were scrambling up my pant legs, and their claws got me a little. I think you can manage to leave now though. We need to move quickly, I’ve definitely not gotten rid of all of them.”

Malissa stepped down from the toilet, and was almost out the door when she heard a now familiar hiss from behind her.

“Look out!” the girl shouted, and Malissa was half turned around when the girl shoved her through the doorway.

She was outside the bathroom, and landed sprawling on the ground. The doorway to the bathroom disappeared, and in its place was a locked classroom door. She heard a bunch of footsteps to her left.

“Malissa!” she heard her mother yell, “there you are! What are you doing on the ground?”

“Mom?”

Everyone was staring at her, as her parents made their way to the front of the tour group. Some of the kids were snickering at her, but that didn’t matter. Not really. This had been the best tour of them all, and she knew what she had to do.

“Mom, I’ve made up my mind.”

“You have? About what? No, that’s not important. Did something happen?”

“Yes,” Malissa said excitedly.

“Oh, I knew it. There is no way that this place is near as prestigious as they say. We’re going.”

“Stop. Mom. I want to go to this school.”

I want to meet that girl again.

“You do?”

“More than anything. I’ve decided I’m going to attend Bearlisp Academy.”