Chapter 16 - A Courtroom Surprise

August 28

There was something deeply uninspiring about the average American courthouse. It wasn’t for lack of trying. The large columns, and doors announced to the world that the building is important. And they are, I couldn’t lie that I loved the Greek revival style that many of the country’s legal proceedings were housed in, but the facts of what happened inside couldn’t help but taint the majesty and splendor.

“You coming, kid?” Groundskeeper turned halfway up the steps to look back at me.

Groundskeeper’s short-cropped hair was slicked back and she was wearing a suit that was so far out of fashion, it worked its way back to being slightly cool again. Only slightly, but the unabashed air of confidence and being comfortable in her own skin that she always exhibited, was inspiring.

I nodded, and continued up the steps, with a fidgeting Filomena by my side. Ms. Proctor had taken her to get an appropriate outfit for our day in court, and while it looked uncomfortable, it definitely toned down her usual appearance.

An hour after we were supposed to be meeting with the judge, sitting on chairs that were somehow plush and extremely uncomfortable, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was about bureaucracy that made people unable to keep a schedule. I tried to focus on the textbook that Ms. Proctor had borrowed for me, so that I could study in my spare time before classes begin next month, but between the numbness growing in my legs and Filomena’s fidgeting, I re-read the paragraph I was on at least a dozen times before sighing and giving up.

I was allowed into a conference room that was all but bare, save the long table and chairs. Waiting for me were three adults I didn’t know. The man at the far end of the table gestured to the seat to his left, as he mopped his brow with a damp handkerchief. He introduced himself as Judge Redbrook, and said that the other two sitting to his right were the lawyers who were representing my uncle, and Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper

I sat down nervously and Filomena stood behind me, projecting an air of readiness. For what, I didn’t know, but she was ready all the same. The judge explained the situation in general terms, in order to ensure we were all on the same page about what was happening.

“Now, Mr. Oldstone-” the judge said, sweat already beading on his brow even though he had just wiped it off a moment prior.

“I’m afraid I must correct you, your honor,” Filomena said seriously, maybe this is what she had been ready for, “My mistress is a girl, and we would appreciate it if you addressed her as such.”

“I’m sorry?” he looked taken aback that she would interrupt him, and possibly a little ill.

“Your oversight is forgiven, your honor. Please, continue.”

One of the lawyer’s (mine?) fought back a snicker, barely disguising it as a sneeze.

“Well, I suppose that is one of the issues we ought to bring up. Miss,” he eyed Filomena pointedly, while wiping his face with a handkerchief, “Oldstone, when did you begin being a transsexual.”

My heart skipped a beat.

“Objection, your honor,” the lawyer who had snickered a moment ago stood up, confirming she was mine, “My client being transGENDER, is completely irrelevant to the matter at hand.”

“I disagree,” said the other lawyer, “I think it is very relevant. As we have brought to your attention, my client believes that this child is being brainwashed by the hollow for some scheme or other.”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” I answered, “I also don’t think that it’s important.”

“Do we really need to have her,” my uncle’s lawyer pointed to Filomena, “present? It’s blatantly obvious that she’s puppeting the poor child.”

“I’m what?” Filomena said in a voice that was as chill as a midwinter storm.

“I agree that she need not be present. Hollow, you will await your mistress outside. We will call you in if we have questions.”

“I would prefer that my mistress not be left alone in such an obviously hostile environment.”

“You see, your honor. She is clearly trying to manipulate things.”

“Filomena,” my lawyer said gently, “I will keep an eye on Max. I think it would be better for us all, if you waited outside.”

There was a pregnant pause, as Filomena considered.

“Very well.”

When she was gone, all the safety in the room seemed to vanish in an instant.

“We will be casting a spell, Miss Oldstone,” Judge Redbrook said, “In order to ensure that no magic is being used in this room. I want to be certain that your answers are truly your own. May we?”

I looked at my lawyer, who seemed conflicted by this sudden turn of events. After a moment, she nodded, and I agreed. The questions stopped while a spell was cast.

“Now, answer the question. When did you begin being… transgender, was the term?”

I sighed, “I still don’t feel comfortable talking about that. It is irrelevant, because it predated the death of my parents and meeting Filomena. Please, your honor, I am not being hurt by Ms. Proctor or Groundskeeper in any way.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes, and I wish I could say the same for my time with my aunt and uncle, but I just can’t. They treated me horribly, and most recently, my uncle attacked me in the grand hall at Bearlisp Academy.”

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“Your honor, that was a misunderstanding. My client was merely worried that his- that the child was being mistreated. He admitted to you that he was overzealous in his attempt to retrieve him.”

“Her,” my lawyer said, “Miss Oldstone has made that clear. Please respect her identity.”

“Very well.”

The conversation wound around like this, until I couldn’t tell what points were trying to be made anymore. Finally, the judge seemed as though he had made up his mind, and he called everyone into the meeting room.

“I must say,” Judge Redbrook began once everyone had settled, “the facts of this case are disturbing and unfortunate. I find myself at a loss. Generally, I want to take far more heed of the child’s wishes in a case like this, but with the very real potential for tampering with her will…”

“My will isn’t tampered with!” I wanted to jump up and shout, but Filomena, who had sat down next to me, touched my hand and shook her head.

The judge continued, uninterrupted, “I am inclined to remove custody from Derek Riddlemark and his wife, but I can’t in good conscience give a child to servitor spirits. Even such advanced ones as Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper. Their lives are not truly their own, and as such I don’t believe that they can provide a suitably stable living situation for a child. Especially one who has been through so much so recently.

“Therefore, it is my opinion that Miss Oldstone be put into a foster home until such time as a suitable family can be found for her. Her attendance at Bearlisp Academy will be allowed to continue, because it was clearly the will of her parents that she attend, and visitation rights are granted to Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper, but are revoked for Derek and Rosemary Riddlemark. It is not within the power of this court to determine who she may keep as a familiar and so no judgment will be rendered on that matter.

“If there are no objections-”

Suddenly the door to the conference room opened. A woman who looked startlingly like a middle aged Filomena walked in as though she owned the place. She wore a stark white pantsuit, and a crown covered in pale blue gems.

“I object,” she said in a voice that brooked no argument, but also seemed strangely sleepy.

“I’m sorry?” the judge said, wiping his brow, “And what makes you think you have the right to object to anything I am saying?”

The woman sat down at the end of the conference table nearest the door, and a man who was the picture of the overworked, long-suffering royal advisor stalked up to the judge and placed an envelope with a wax seal in front of him.

The judge looked at the sizable stack of paperwork contained within and wiped his neck.

“You’re the-”

“You have the distinct honor of addressing her majesty, the Queen of the Frozen Wastes.”

Judge Redbrook stared at the woman, “You are the queen of the femtaghs.”

“I am,” she said as though she were about to yawn, “I would have come sooner, but I wanted to give the mortal planes a chance to do the right thing. I’ll admit, I did rather enjoy the timing of bursting in to yell, ‘I object!’ So thrilling.”

I was pretty sure that what she had done didn’t count as yelling. I cannot express enough how much her voice lacked any enthusiasm. Her voice was exactly like one you would use to tell your parents to turn off the light after they read you a bedtime story. She looked half asleep. I looked at Filomena, who was cradling her face in her hands as though she wanted to be anywhere else.

“I did foresee, your honor, that there might be other legal professionals present,” the man behind the Queen said to the sweaty judge, his calm smile belied a reliability that was probably the most reassuring thing I’d seen in some time, “as such there are enough copies of the paperwork for you to pass around.”

The judge was startled by this, but dutifully handed copies to the two lawyers and one to Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper to share. I tried to lean over enough to see what everyone else was reading. The Queen caught my eye and gave me a conspiratorial wink, and gestured at the man. He snapped his fingers, and the magic suppression field that was in the room glowed brilliantly before snapping. It left little falling wisps of errant magic that slowly faded. Before me was another copy of the documents everyone else was looking at.

“Order to Cease and Desist Legal Action in Violation of the Mortal Hollow Accords of 1632” the first page read. I turned to the next page which read: “Royal Decree for the Adoption of a Mortal Child”, a few pages later was “Official Notice of Destiny Alteration” and another that read “Winter Court Patronage Registration”. It was the last two pages that finally brought everything together. “Royal Decree for the Establishment of Personhood of Servitor Spirits over the Age of One Hundred” the first read, and the second, “Royal Decree for the Emancipation of Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper.”

“This is…,” my uncle’s lawyer sat slack jawed as he read through the papers, “This is unbelievable. Why would you do this?”

“Her majesty’s motives are entirely her own,” the advisor said matter-of-factly, “and not for your speculation.”

“Am I understanding correctly that her majesty has freed us of our obligation to Bearlisp Academy?” Ms. Proctor’s voice was conflicted.

“You are indeed correct, Ms. Proctor. This is something that should have been corrected some time ago,” the queen said, her eyes drooping, “We have been long aware of the fascinating evolution of your species, but our official response has been bogged down in bureaucracy and debate. Other matters always seemed to be a little more urgent. For that, you have our apologies.”

“Do not misunderstand,” the advisor stepped forward immediately, “Her majesty is not accepting any culpability for your plight, only that she was saddened by it.”

“I understand,” Ms. Proctor said with a bow of her head, “and we appreciate her majesty’s kindness in this matter.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” my uncle’s lawyer sputtered, “This cannot stand, your honor. The Mortal Relocation Act of 1846 prohibits forceful adoption of mortal children by hollows.”

“I am familiar with it, but the adoption is not to a hollow and therefore does not apply in this case,” the judge said.

“We can oppose this royal decree for the welfare of the child. The servitor spirits cannot possibly afford to take care of- I mean, how much could they possibly have between the two of them?”

“Oh, that won’t be an issue,” my lawyer said, “The estate and holdings of Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper together far exceed the minimum required by any mortal law.”

“Impossible.”

“Oh, it is quite possible,” Ms. Proctor said, smiling wryly, “In, I believe it was 1786, Anton Bearlisp required the School Board to pay each servitor spirit thirty-two ounces of gold per year. With inflation, a few careful investments and the fact that our housing needs are met by the academy and we’ve not needed to spend much of it, we have somewhere close to half a billion in assets.”

“Half a-” the lawyer sat down, defeated.

“In that case, the only judgment left for me to render is that the adoption is out of my jurisdiction. I am however restricting visitation rights of Derek and Rosemary Riddlemark. I would advise that Ms. Proctor and Groundskeeper apply for a restraining order for when they are not on academy grounds but that is not my jurisdiction either.”

And like that, I was officially adopted because of the interference of Filomena’s mother- the Queen of the Southern Wastes. There was no way I could have known in that moment just how much my life was going to be changed forever.