Chapter 20 - Ursine Politics and Basic Runes

September 5

I couldn’t help but notice that everyone had been acting strangely toward me after I’d come back from the infirmary. I couldn’t shake the feeling that people were talking about me. I tried to ignore the feeling by saying that people were just excited about the new school year, but that didn’t explain the horrified looks or gasps and quick turns when I met people’s eyes.

I’m pretty sure that Amy knew what was going on, and didn’t want me to know for some reason. Any time I tried to listen to what people were saying Amy would bring up some topic for conversation, even going so far as to talk about the weather.

We were joined at the round table by Malissa and her familiar Judo, who looked like a green bird with human hands where her legs ought to be and a human face with large black eyes.

We were herded out of the cafeteria by the Dorm Supervisors, and shuffled off through the halls to a large auditorium style lecture room. At the front of the room, in handwritten letters on a green chalkboard, was a sign reading: Welcome to Basic Runes.

“Everyone grab a book from the front desk, and sign your name in the front. This will be your textbook. Books that are not signed will not be able to leave this room.”

I was about to grab a book from the top of the stack when I was shoved aside by a boy with unnaturally orange hair, and a familiar like a ball of tongues drooling on a rag on his shoulder.

“Out of the way, creep.”

“There’s no need to shove, Gary,” Wilma said with a tired sigh, “there are enough books for everyone.”

Malissa gave me a hand up, and we grabbed our textbooks. Finding a seat towards the back of the room, but still close enough that we could see everything up front.

I lazily flipped through the textbook doing my best to ignore the conversations around me. The excitement I had been feeling at starting a new school year was wearing off surprisingly quickly. Though I was grateful that I seemed to be making friends, I wasn’t exactly sure why they wanted to be my friends.

I looked at Malissa to my right, and Amy to my left. Filomena was seated behind me, having ousted some unfortunate kid from their seat. I was shocked from my introspection by the door at the front of the room slamming open and a familiar grumpy tweed jacket walking into the room. I couldn’t think where I had seen this particular teacher before. Perhaps at the sorting ceremony?

“You will cease your idle banalities now,” the man said, placing his satchel on the desk at the front.

He inspected the chalkboard at the front with a face that you might give a banana split in which you’ve discovered the banana is in fact a slug. He scoffed, and with a tap of his staff against the tiled floor, the message vanished. The staff! I realized with dawning horror that this was the professor that had confronted me in the endless garden during my summer internship.

I unintentionally slid lower in my seat, so he might not see me.

“My name is Professor Garret Cherrysprat. I am in charge of lecturing students on recent runes. That means all language classes go through me. Since I am sure that no one has informed you of how the school system works here, allow me. Lectures and classes do not have mandatory attendance-”

There was a delighted gasp from the student body in the hall.

“Silence!”

The lights dimmed slightly at the increased volume from Professor Cherrysprat, he continued at his normal monotonous pitch, “While you are not required to attend lectures or classes you are expected to meet certain academic standards. Namely, you will be required to pass examinations held by myself and the other professors at regular intervals to ensure that your education is kept on track.”

With another tap of his staff, a stapled bundle of papers materialized in front of each of us.

“I would highly recommend that you engage in your studies diligently and without the laziness that I know permeates your generation. The first opportunity to take an examination in basic runes will be held at the end of the week in this lecture hall. I suggest you all take this opportunity as even if you fail, you will be able to see where your shortcomings lie. All other examination dates, study halls, and such may be found on the papers I have summoned for you. After this lecture there will be a period for lunch, and then you will meet with your individual academic advisors in their offices.”

The professor proceeded to outline the first five hundred and twelve runes that needed to be memorized and the twenty seven ways that they can be modified. He explained that not only did the basic runes’ names need to be memorized but also their three core meanings. As if that wasn’t enough, there was an exhaustive list of which runes were able to be modified by which of the modification runes and which weren’t.

It was enough to make my head spin, and I found myself completely lost about halfway through the lecture. I couldn’t tell if the odd sensation in my stomach was from the fact that it had to be about lunch time or the sinking feeling that I was in way over my head.

Finally, and thankfully, the bell rang, and students began packing their things into bags and standing up.

“Everyone sit down,” Professor Cherrysprat ordered, “I release you, not the bell. I have one more thing to teach you before you scamper off to forget everything I labored to teach.”

He turned and drew a circle on the board, filling it with a collection of runes that looked vaguely familiar.

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“This is a circle that you can use to find your way around the school. I’m sure even the densest of you have noticed by now that the halls in this school don’t function normally. If you become lost, this summons a servitor spirit that will guide you to where you need to go. It will disappear after it has accomplished its task. Do not abuse this circle. Magic is not something that should be done frivolously, even simple things can have dire consequences.”

We all stared at him.

“Oh, just go.”

Everyone packed their things a lot less enthusiastically this time, and walked out of the classroom. A veritable storm of little blue wisps lead the students down the hallway.

“Don’t think I haven’t seen you, Maxine Oldstone,” Professor Cherrysprat said as I passed him, “I’m watching you.”

I slumped against the wall after I left the classroom.

“What was that about?” Malissa asked, clearly having beat Amy to it by a fraction of a second.

“Ugh,” I replied, “There was a whole thing in the endless garden this summer. Groundskeeper got into it with him after he trapped me in a spell. I was really hoping he’d forgotten, or that I could slide by unnoticed.”

“Okay, now I have to know who Groundskeeper is,” Amy said, “and, wait, why were you here during the summer?”

“She was working as an assistant here during the summer,” Malissa answered for me, “Some kind of work study program, right?”

“Yeah, and Groundskeeper was who I was working with,” I said, “and now…”

“There’s a work study program?”

“Not anymore. They discontinued it because it opened them up to liability,” I explained, grateful to once again not have to try and explain Groundskeeper and Ms. Proctor.

It’s not that I was ashamed or anything, it was just a complicated thing, and I didn’t really know how I felt about it yet. In all honesty, I hadn’t really had enough time to process everything that had happened this summer. Ms. Proctor said she was going to have me talk to one of the school counselors, but there was a bit of a waiting list, and she wanted me to get settled at school first.

“We should go get some lunch, while we still can,” Amy said, hooking her arms through mine and Malissa’s elbows.

For a brief moment, I got to enjoy the feeling of being a normal high school student and having a fun lunch with my new friends.

That joy was short lived when I met my academic counselor- Ms. Shortbranch.

“I’m going to have to ask your familiar to wait outside for this conversation.”

“Oh. Um, okay.”

Filomena eyed the counselor warily but left the small office.

“I have heard some disturbing rumors, and I need to get to the bottom of things.”

“What rumors?”

The stern expression on her face made my heart pound heavily. My brain raced to figure out what this was about. Had I accidentally broken some sort of rule already? I thought back to the events of the day, but I couldn’t think of anything that this could be about.

Were rumors really spreading about me? Is that why everyone was whispering? Had someone had a problem with me being in the locker room? The shower doors were solid from floor to ceiling, so surely no one had thought I was peeking at them or something. Right?

“This is honestly not something I thought I would have to be dealing with on the first day of school. This may be a little awkward but please tell me honestly, are you engaging in sexual relations with your familiar?”

Everything stopped for a moment. The only thought my brain could muster was a giant question mark.

“What?”

“Please don’t make me ask you again. This is a serious matter, and something that has to be addressed.”

“That’s absurd.”

“I assure you it would be a major violation of the familiar contract and could result in your expulsion. It could even land you in legal trouble.”

“I’m sorry. This is absurd. I am not… doing that with my familiar. That’s insane. Why would you even think that? How is this even a thing that people think? Is that a thing that happens?”

“Well, no. I can’t recall that ever being a thing that has happened. I’m sure you can imagine why people might think that. With the way that your familiar dresses, and…”

“And Filomena is a femtagh. A very powerful one at that. She dresses how she dresses and I have no say in that. The notion that anyone could force her to do anything against her will is beyond incredible. ”

“So, this is a consensual relationship. Is that what you’re saying?”

“WHAT?” I exploded out of my chair.

Filomena burst into the room, frost floating up from her palms.

“The only relationship that Filomena and I are engaged in is the one that any familiar and their mage have. There is nothing remotely sexual between us. The fact that I am having to explain such a thing is… it’s…”

“You think what?! That I would do something like that with a human? And a young human at that? You are meant to be discussing Max’s future in academia, not whatever perverse fantasies you are entertaining.”

“Exactly what she said,” I sputtered.

“Well… I just wanted-”

“Sure, you wanted to ask me weird questions, instead of focusing on what you are supposed to be. Shouldn’t you be asking me about career goals, or education goals or something like that?”

“I mean I will once this matter of you and your familiar is cleared-”

“How much clearer can I be?!”

“Surely you understand the position that I am in. How can I be certain that the two of you aren’t… you know.”

“I will not hear one more word of this human’s perverse filth.”

“If you want to do your actual job, you know how to get a hold of me, until then stay out of my way.”

My face was burning. I was shaking. I was not thinking straight, and I needed to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. I needed air. I couldn’t even imagine how I looked as I stormed out of the small office, with Filomena close behind.