Chapter 102 Will of the Heavens

Translated by Twelve_Months_of_May

Make sure to take advantage of your three years of school to give birth.

After Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi went for the last round of infusions, she sent him home, and they had a meal with Dou Dou and his mother. Then Pang Qian got ready to head to the airport.

Gu Mingxi had already gotten a lot better from his cold. He walked Pang Qian out to catch a taxi, and the two of them took a walk down the street.

The February weather in Hainan was just delightful. As the sky darkened and the scorching sun was hidden away, the moonlight started to poke through and shyly look down at a pair of lovers.

Standing at the intersection waiting for a taxi, Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi shared a few sappy words. Then Pang Qian told him to make sure to take his medicine, drink lots of water, and get rest. Gu Mingxi smiled. As she was about to leave, Pang QIan suddenly said, “Oh yeah, what we talked about earlier, what did you end up deciding?”

Gu Mingxi naturally knew what she was talking about. She was asking about his intentions on going back to school. They hadn’t spoken about it in awhile because Pang Qian wanted to give Gu Mingxi a bit of time to think about it on his own. Gu Mingxi lowered his head and looked at Pang Qian. He said, “Pang Pang, have you really thought it over? Right now, your work is going well and you make good money. If you resign to go study, you’ll have to spend three or four years on that. Do you think it’s worth it?”

“Do you think it’s not worth it?” Pang Qian opened her eyes wide at him. Then she asked again, “Gu Mingxi, do you think it’s not worth it?”

“No, I don’t think that.” Compelled by her gaze, he slowly shook his head.

“I know that you have a dream,” Pang Qian said. “Whatever your reason is… Whether it’s to give yourself more opportunity for employment, whether it’s a promise you made to yourself, whether it’s to be an example to little kids, or even if it’s to make more money in the future, you and I both should go back to school.”

He was silent for a long time. Then he said, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull up my liberal arts subjects.”

Pang Qian smiled. “It’s okay. It’s been a long time since I’ve studied too. I have to get high scores for graduate school too. We’ll study together then. We can go to a prep academy it we have to.”

He smiled at how calm and unconcerned she was. “What if you get into the school but I don’t?”

Pang Qian didn’t think much about it and just said, “You can keep drawing and then review for the entrance exam the next year.”

Gu Mingxi frowned. “Are you saying that my educational background is poor?”

Pang Qian laughed and then swat at him. “If you really don’t want to go back to school, I won’t force you. But I know that you miss it too.”

Seeing Gu Mingxi’s pensive expression, she put her travel bag onto the ground and spread her arms to hug him. She said, “If I don’t get it, but you do, then I’ll just keep working to support your studied. If you don’t get it, but I do, then we’ll go by your opinion. You can keep trying at the exam or you can become a freelance illustrator to support my studies. In any case, we’ll just let things happen how they happen. Don’t force anything. Okay?”

Gu Mingxi, “…”

“The Mayans predict the world will end in 2012, Gu Mingxi. That’s next year. Let’s just do our best for now.”

“…”

She looked up at him. “Okay? We’ll go with your decision.”

He was never the type to make random promises, and he didn’t know how to speak with flowery or insincere words. He was a man of his words. Looking at Pang Qian’s expectant eyes, he knew that if he agreed now, he would have to work really hard for it during the next year.

But he was still a bit hesitant, and then Pang Qian said something that added the pressure. “Gu Mingxi, I’ve thought about it. Next year, when you get your acceptance letter, let’s go register our marriage as a celebration, okay?”

Gu Mingxi started to think about that. Did that mean if he didn’t get admitted next year, did that mean this wife would leave and go far away?

She was really something!

He clenched his teeth. “Okay, let’s do it. We’ll try the entrance exams again next year.”

In March, Pang Qian received the three documents for the house ownership as well as the house keys. She was extremely happy and went to take a look at the house. Then she called Gu Mingxi and asked him about the renovations. Gu Mingxi was a bit apologetic as he said, “Pang Pang, my royalties probably won’t be in until August. I don’t really have the money for renovations right now.”

Pang Qian was taken aback. Then she called out, “Who asked you to pay for it?!”

They discussed for a bit and decided that they’d choose the furniture and lighting when Gu Mingxi came back. They’d start the interior, water, and electricity now. As for styling– Gu Mingxi didn’t really have much opinion on it, so he told Pang Qian, “Just pick what you like.”

Pang Qian found some time to talk to Zou Liwen. They decided to have a meal after work one day.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

Zou Liwen graduated from Fudan University with a Masters in finance. Pang Qian spoke to him a bit about work and then she breached the topic of SHUFE and Fudan as choices for graduate school. She asked Zou Liwen which was easier to get into.

Zou Liwen was a very smart person, so he glanced at Pang Qian and asked, “What? Planning on going back to school?”

Pang Qian picked up her napkin and wiped her mouth. “Team Leader, I asked you out to dinner today because I wanted to talk to you about something. I decided to work until the end of June, or July at the latest, and then I’m going to spend half a year reviewing before challenging (the entrance exam) again.”

She didn’t try to hide her intention at all, and she didn’t give Zou Liwen any space to try to hold her back. Truth be told, Zou Liwen understood Pang Qian very well. He wouldn’t try to hold her back.

As he cut his steak, he gave her his opinions. “With regards to the exam difficulty, both schools are pretty much even. With regards to prestige, Fudan has more of it, though those in the industry hold SHUFE at a higher standard. You graduated from SHUFE, so it’s a safer bet to go with it.”

Pang Qian said, “Team Leader, you don’t know, but I have a very special feeling towards Fudan.”

Zou Liwen asked, “You didn’t get in when you took the college entrance exams?”

“It would have been impossible to get into!” Pang Qian laughed. “But now, I actually feel that I’m a lot closer to Fudan.”

“You did your undergraduate at SHUFE, and if you go to Fudan for grad school, you wouldn’t ever have to worry about a job in the future. Moreover, you have more than four years of experience in the field.” Zou Liwen couldn’t help laughing. “Pang Qian, when I invite you back later, you might think I’m not good enough.”

“How could that be, Team Leader!” Pang Qian flattered. “I made it this far because you were able to spot (this) pearl! Team Leader, don’t worry! After I graduate, I’ll come back to find you. If you’re eating meat, I’ll eat meat. If you’re eating porridge, I’ll eat porridge…”

“Alright, that’s enough…” Zou Liwen’s ego had already been blown up. “How are you and your boyfriend now?”

Pang Qian smiled shyly. “Pretty good.”

“Are you planning on getting married?”

“Mm, next year. We’ve already bought a house. Since he decided to go back to school, we agreed on getting married after the entrance exams next year.” Pang Qian took a sip from her water bottle.

Zou Liwen spoke with complete seriousness, “Make sure to take advantage of your three years of school to give birth.”

“Pu–” Pang Qian spit out all her water.

Over the short Qingming break, Gu Mingxi left Dou Dou in the care of Teachers Ji and Chen for two days. Then he went to visit Z City with Pang Qian.

They met up at S City’s airport. Pang Qian arrived first, and after waiting two hours at the terminal, Gu Mingxi walked out with his backpack.

It had been more than a month since they’d last seen each other, so they missed each other very much. After they saw each other, they quickly turned into a pair of conjoined twins, sticking to each other constantly.

On the bus ride to Z City, Pang Qian pulled out her iPad and showed Gu Mingxi the renovations to their house. Usually when they would chat online, she would show him a bit, but this time, she’d taken photos of every little corner and detail of their new house. She swiped past each for him to see.

“I had the stove, sink, and counters in the kitchen lowered a bit so that it would be easier for you.” Pang Qian said with pride. Gu Mingxi curled his lips, “What you’re saying is that in the future, you’re not going to touch anything in the kitchen?”

Pang Qian’s face reddened. “No, that’s not it. I’m short, so I can use it all too.”

Gu Mingxi smiled and bumped her forehead with his. “I’m just kidding. I’ll take care of the cooking in the future. I like watching you eat the food I make.”

Pang Qian was elated as she continued showing him the photos. “This room faces south, and I was planning to leave it for your studio. We can get a custom desk and bookcases, okay?”

Gu Mingxi looked down at it for awhile. Then he said, “I was planning on leaving this room for the baby.”

“There’s another room for the baby. It’s about the same size too.”

He bit his lip and then said, “Okay. If the baby grows up and wants a room with more light, we can switch then.”

Pang Qian knew better than anyone else what Gu Mingxi liked. That’s why he was so at ease letting her take care of the designing. Pang Qian said she was intending on painting the walls in the master bedroom light beige, with dark floorboards, to give a warm feeling. The living room would be light blue with light pine floors, to give a cool tone. “If it’s not warm enough, we can add some lighting.” Pang Qian showed Gu Mingxi the living room ceiling. “It’s wavy, like the ocean. We can add some LEDs. What do you think?”

Gu Mingxi nodded and said quietly, “Pang Pang, is this really our house?”

“Of course!” Pang Qian laughed happily. “But I don’t know if we’ll have a son or a daughter, so I don’t want to paint the walls pink yet.”

Gu Mingxi asked, “You want a daughter?”

“Yeah, daughters are more considerate.” Pang Qian rested her head on his shoulder and asked, “What about you? Do you want a son or a daughter?”

“I want a son,” Gu Mingxi said.

“…” Pang Qian felt a bit conflicted. She thought he would say either a son or daughter would both be good. She couldn’t help asking, “Why?”

Gu Mingxi responded very sincerely. “Two reasons. First, I’m afraid that I’ll spoil her too much if she’s a girl. Second… I don’t know if you’ve ever heard this saying, that when a parent raises their kids, it’s like they get to experience their youth again. In particular, the things the parents never got to do, they’ll let their kids experience it in their stead. I think that there’s some reason to this saying. For example, I want to have a son, to love him, to be there for him, to teach him well, and… To praise him. I want to raise him to be a good boy. Kind, impressive, responsible, motivated. The things that I was unable to do well, I want him to be able to do them.”

Pang Qian was extremely touched. She hugged him tightly and said, “You’re already good enough, Gu Mingxi. Really.”

When the coach bus arrived in Z City, Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian got a taxi to the cemetery.

There were a lot of people at the cemetery during Qingming. Gu Mingxi found Li Han’s gravestone. There were some candles left in front of the tombstone, likely left by Li Chun or Li Mu. Pang Qian put down her flowers and, according to custom, she lit incense and burned paper money for Li Han.

Gu Mingxi stood beside her, quietly watching.

Pang Qian lit six incense sticks and kneeled down in front of Li Han’s headstone. She looked at the picture of Li Han on the stone. It was from when Li Han was about 40 years old. She was very pretty, her hair braided and sitting on her chest. Her eyes were clear and bright, and she had a warm and tranquil smile on her face.

Pang Qian kowtowed three times for Li Han and placed the incense sticks into the ground. Then she said, “Auntie, it’s me, Qian Qian. I’ve come to visit you. Gu Mingxi and I are together now. Don’t worry, I won’t let him be alone ever again.”

She stood up and Gu Mingxi walked to the tombstone. He slowly kneeled down. Just as he started to say, “Mom…” he started choking up.

Pang Qian stood beside him and quickly wrapped her arms around him. She knew that Gu Mingxi must have suffered all these years, even if he didn’t tell her about it. But now, facing Li Han like this, he must have thought about their days and nights together. No matter how strong he was, he was just a person. And he was disabled, more vulnerable than those who were all healthy. Every minute and second of his life, he was faced with difficulties. Pang Qian would sometimes think about it carefully, but then she wouldn’t dare to keep thinking about it. Li Han had passed away nearly five years ago. Five years! Gu Mingxi had been alone for all that time.

Because everything was alright now, Pang Qian understood Gu Mingxi’s changing mood even more. She quickly kneeled down beside him and held his shaking shoulders. She whispered into his ear, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Auntie will worry if she sees you crying. Everything’s okay now. Don’t cry…”

The cemetery was filled with ash and smoke. There were incense and candles lit all around. The spring wind blew and the pine trees rustled.

Pang Qian held tightly onto Gu Mingxi, and then she lifted her head to the sky. “Alright, it’s just the two of us anyway. If you want to cry, go ahead. To be honest, I think Auntie would laugh at you. You brought your girlfriend to see her and then you cry like this.”

After they left the cemetery, Gu Mingxi gave Li Chun a call.

The year that Li Han died, Gu Mingxi had fought a lot with her family. That’s because he’d insisted on selling their house to pay back everyone who had given them money, but Li Mu didn’t understand. Li Mu felt that the money given to them for Li Han’s illness didn’t need to be repaid. That was the convention. He hoped that Gu Mingxi wouldn’t sell the house and would just rent out a room. In the future, when Li Shiyu got older, they could borrow the house for his marriage.(Note: I’m not sure if this means using the house for the ceremony/festivities or if somehow the house would be ‘lent’ to Shiyu to live in.)

Gu Mingxi completely ignored his opinion on the matter, and with Xu Shuanghua and Shark’s help, he sold the house. Li Mu had said back then that he and Gu Mingxi would no longer have any relation in the future. If ever Gu Mingxi came to Z City, he wouldn’t be welcome to stay with him.

When Gu Mingxi left Z City, it was Li Chun who sent him off. Li Chun gave him 10 thousand dollars and told him not to return it. After that, he’d kept in touch with Li Chun. He would give her a call each time a holiday came around, and he would also send her 3 thousand dollars every year. He said it was for living expenses now that she’d gotten older. He also sent Li Chun a lot of things from Hainan.

Li Chun was very happy to receive Gu Mingxi’s call, and they spoke for a very long time. Gu Mingxi knew that his grandparents’ physical conditions were getting worse. Li Shiyu was getting married but their family didn’t have a house for him. So Li Mu sent their parents to a retirement home and rented a small place with Huang Lingli, leaving that three room house to Li Shiyu.

“Xiao Yu was spoiled too much by his parents,” Li Chun said. “His studies were bad, he won’t find work, and instead, he just spends all day playing games at the internet cafe. Then he met a girl through his games and they decided to get married. The girl’s a year older than him, but I heard she didn’t even graduate from high school. Usually she just works part time and then spends the day playing games. When they’re out of money, they just ask your uncle. It’s a shame. He’s already 50 years old, but he still needs to work as a night security guard. Ah…”

After they hung up the phone, Pang Qian asked Gu Mingxi, “Do you want to go see your uncle and grandparents?”

Gu Mingxi shook his head and said, “Pang Pang, I didn’t grow up here. Do you understand?”

She thought for a moment and then nodded, “I understand.”

They took the bus back to S City and decided to stay for the night and then fly out the next day.

That evening, Gu Mingxi brought Pang Qian to meet Xu Shuanghua.

Xu Shuanghua spent most of the year away from home. Even over the Spring Festival holidays, he would probably go to England to visit his son. But over Qingming, he would definitely be in S City.

Gu Mingxi contacted Xu Shuanghua ahead of time. When he arrived at his house, Gu Mingxi told Pang Qian, “This is where I spent half a year after my mom passed away.”

The door opened and Xu Shuanghua seemed the same as always. Thin facial features and a blank, even expression. But when he saw Gu Mingxi, a trace of warmth was revealed on his face and he gave Gu Mingxi a hug.

It seemed that everyone knew this, that the most surefire way to warm Gu Mingxi’s heart was to hug him when they met.

Gu Mingxi brought some Mingqian tea from E City for Xu Shuanghua. When he saw Pang Qian, he grew curious.

Gu Mingxi shyly introduced her, “Teacher, this is my girlfriend, Pang Qian.”

Xu Shuanghua let them in for dinner. And after dinner, Pang Qian went to the living room to watch TV as Gu Mingxi and Xu Shuanghua went to his study to talk. Gu Mingxi wanted to consult his teacher about the college entrance exam situation.

As Xu Shuanghua listened to his plans, he wasn’t surprised at all. He just nodded along and said, “Advancing your studies is not a bad plan. There’s no end to learning. I support you.”

Gu Mingxi said, “Teacher, this time I want to get into an art program.”

Xu Shuanghua asked, “Do you have an idea for which school you want to go to?”

“I want to go to Shanghai. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Shanghai?” Xu Shuanghua thought for a moment. “Have you heard of Fudan’s Shanghai Institute of Visual Art (SIVA)?”

Gu Mingxi nodded. “I looked at this school too.”

“My friend teaches there. The school’s not bad. If you want to continue teaching in the future, I suggest that you get into SIVA’s drawing program. With your foundations, if you work really hard for half a year, it shouldn’t be a problem. As for the liberal arts courses, you’ll have to count on yourself.”

Gu Mingxi nodded, “I got it.”

Xu Shuanghua asked Gu Mingxi what his current plans for the future were. Hearing that Gu Mingxi would return to E City in July, he immediately called up a friend in E City right there.

“I have a student who wants to take the exam for SIVA next year. He’ll be in E City from July… His residence is in E City. Right. I’d like to ask you to help tutor him. Don’t worry about his foundations. I hope that you can tutor him one on one. You have to guarantee that he’ll get into SIVA. …Yes, that’s right. He’s my student, my fourth one.”

After he hung up, Xu Shuanghua added a phone number to Gu Mingxi’s phone. He said, “This professor specializes in tutoring people for the fine arts exam. His skills are very good. When you get back to E City, call me. I’ll head over to meet up with him with you. Don’t worry, he’s a pretty good person.”

Gu Mingxi and Xu Shuanghua left the study, both with smiles on their faces. Pang Qian stood up. Seeing the two young people, Xu Shuanghua said, “Mingxi, when are you getting married? You must invite me to the wedding. These few years, I’ve missed you more than I missed my son. Seeing that you’re doing well now, I’m really especially happy.”

He was a rather cold person, but hearing him say such moving words in that moment made Gu Mingxi especially touched. He moved close to Xu Shuanghua for an embrace. He said, “Teacher, thank you.”

Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian’s hotel was in the middle of the city. When they got off the taxi, Gu Mingxi lifted his head to look around. Not so faraway, he saw a bridge.

Without saying anything to Pang Qian, he brought her over to the bridge for a walk.

Although it was nighttime, the bridge was still very lively. Vendors, entertainers, beggars, all lined up in a line. The tall buildings all around were lit up, and the neon signs on the tops of them shined brightly. The traffic under the bridge was like a trail of gold. The pedestrians walked past Gu Mingxi without taking so much as a glance at him. Occasionally, someone would notice his empty, swinging sleeves and the pretty girl beside him, and an inquisitive expression would appear on their face. Gu Mingxi didn’t mind them and walked along slowly. Pang Qian didn’t know what they were doing, but when she asked him, he didn’t answer.

Everyone had some secrets and the current Gu Mingxi wasn’t ready to tell Pang Qian about this bit of his past. He thought, perhaps after a few years, after they were married, on a cold winter day, as they sat inside their heated house watching TV, he would happily tell her about his story with this bridge.

When they got back to the hotel, they were both extremely tired. After a day of traveling, it was finally time to rest.

They closed the door and dropped their bags. Without even taking off her and his coats, she was already attached next to him.

She looked up at his face and he looked down, their lips tangling together.

She stumbled over to the washroom together with him. “Let’s shower together…”

He simply couldn’t bear letting go of her lips, so he just mumbled, “Mm.”

Her voice was soft and sticky, as her hands traveled across his body. “Gu Mingxi, I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“How much?”

“When I’m awake, my head’s full of thoughts about you. When I’m asleep, all I dream about is you.”

“Me too, me too!” she moaned out. She even craftily used her tongue to tease his two tiger teeth. Pointy, sexy, and really interesting.

Her provocation made his kiss more frantic, hotter, stickier, leaving him unable to control himself. He kissed her deeply as his brows furrowed and he called her name over and over, “Pang Pang, Pang Pang…”

“I’m here,” she said.

As the night grew longer, they moved from the washroom to the white, soft bed, their two figures lingering, rising and falling.