Chapter 72 Lost and Found

Translated by Twelve_Months_of_May

That’s okay, I just want to see you.

Pang Qian had wanted to tell Yu Jiale a heat-rending and soul-stirring love story, but after she started, she realized that her head was just full of bits and pieces of trivial things.

None of it really had anything to do with love.

Pang Qian didn’t know how to explain her long history with Gu Mingxi to Yu Jiale. They were two very ordinary kids from this city. They didn’t go through any major events. Though Gu Mingxi was disabled, in Pang Qian’s memory, he was just like all the other boys.

She couldn’t tell Yu Jiale that she and Gu Mingxi walked to school together every day carrying their backpacks. And then on the crowded bus, she was always pressed up against his chest, her arms wrapped around his waist in an ambiguous manner. Although there were many smells mixed in the bus, she could always smell his particular scent. She could even hear his heart beating in his chest. And he would usually have his head turned, looking out the window quietly.

She also couldn’t tell Yu Jiale about her and Gu Mingxi going to the small park to eat snacks. 50 cent fried sticky rice cakes, 80 cent radish pancakes, 1 dollar sausages and stinky tofu, 2 dollar strawberry cones… Right now, Pang Qian’s casual lunches all cost some tens of dollars. Yu Jiale was the same, so how could she explain this to him?

Even more than that, she couldn’t tell Yu Jiale about all the years that she and Gu Mingxi were deskmates, doing hours of homework together. Those countless days and nights, she sat by him. Sometimes she was good, sometimes she was naughty. He would bend over, with a pen in his right foot, patiently and meticulously going over and explaining the calculations to her.

Gu Mingxi probably didn’t know this either. Sometimes, when Pang Qian was daydreaming, she would see his beautiful face and start counting his eyelashes. When he was younger, his voice was crisp and sweet. When he grew older, his voice was steady and clear. Pang Qian remembered his voice very well. In her dreams, she would hear him laugh and then say to her, “Oh, Pang Pang, it’s you.”

She remembered that year, how she cried tears of happiness as her phone call to him connected.

That summer, after Gu Mingxi and Li Han went back to Z City, Pang Qian pleaded with her father to ask Gu Guoxiang for Li Han’s phone number. Pang Shuisheng didn’t agree at first, comforting her that Gu Mingxi would contact her. But after two weeks, Gu Mingxi hadn’t called. Pang Qian couldn’t stop herself, and she caused a scene, crying in front of Pang Shuisheng. That’s when he bit the bullet and went to find Gu Guoxiang.

Because the Pang’s hadn’t attended Gu Guoxiang’s wedding, Gu Guoxiang had become a lot more cold towards Pang Shuisheng. He said he didn’t know how to contact Li Han at her family’s home. In the past few months, he hadn’t received a call from Gu Mingxi.

Pang Shuisheng felt that Gu Guoxiang was just brushing him off, but he didn’t feel like he should keep asking. He could only relay those words to Pang Qian.

And then, Pang Qian started going to the internet bar. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. She just opened up QQ and stared at that grey rat icon. She continually left messages for him, long paragraphs of words. But “Mister Ostrich” was silent the whole time and didn’t respond to a single message.

Pang Qian called Teacher Dai, but she didn’t know about Gu Mingxi’s whereabouts. Then she called Zhou Nanzhong and Wang Song. They were Gu Mingxi’s good friends in high school, but Gu Mingxi hadn’t contacted them either. Pang Qian even called Jian Zhe and Liu Hanlin, but the outcome was the same.

She ran over to Shark’s barbecue shop on her own, and then found out that he’d sold the shop. Then she ran over to Shark’s house and was informed by Shark’s mother that he’d gone to Shanghai with is friends to start a business.

Pang Qian asked for Shark’s phone number, and then quickly returned home.

The turning point was on Pang Qian’s 18th birthday. She went downstairs to get the newspaper and found a parcel slip from the post office.

Pang Qian grabbed the small, white slip of paper, her heart booming in her chest, and she quickly biked over to the post office to get her parcel.

She opened the package right then and there, and was surprised to find a Motorola phone box. She opened the box and there was a brand new phone inside.

Pang Qian picked up the small card next to the phone and looked at the one line written on it: Pang Pang, happy birthday.

And there was also a phone number with the area code 139.

Pang Qian simply couldn’t describe her feelings at that moment. She grabbed the box, ran outside, and then found a public phone and dialed the number. The dial tone rang for what felt like a century, and then a click sounded and that young man’s beautiful sounding voice asked, “Hello, who is this?”

When she heard his voice, Pang Qian’s tears started streaming down. She gripped tightly onto the phone receiver, her voice thick with tears, and said, “Gu Mingxi.”

After a few seconds of silence, he started to laugh. Hearing his laugh, Pang Qian could imagine what he looked like in that moment. He said into her ear, “Ah, Pang Pang, it’s you.”

School would be starting in just a couple weeks. Pang Qian’s mind was in an uproar, and there were a ton of things she wanted to ask Gu Mingxi. She didn’t know where to start, so just started questioning him. “Why didn’t you call me?! It’s been more than a month! How can you be like this?! You went to Z City! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Gu Mingxi didn’t make a sound. Pang Qian’s voice was very nasally. She slowed down, and with a sob, “Gu Mingxi, are you okay?”

“I’m good, Pang Pang. Don’t worry,” he said evenly. “I’ve been really busy recently. My mom and I just got settled down. Before, we were staying with my grandparents, and we had to sleep on the living room floor at night. During the day, my mom and I would go house hunting.”

“You bought a house there?” Pang Qian felt her hear breaking. Was Gu Mingxi really going to move to Z City? He wasn’t going to come back over winter and summer breaks?

He answered, “Mm, we bought a two bedroom house, a bit more than 70 sqm. We still have to decorate and furnish it, so we probably won’t be able to move in until the end of the year.”

Pang Qian asked, “Are you guys accustomed to it there?”

“It’s okay. The summer here is much cooler than in E City.”

“Are the winters really cold?”

“That’s without a doubt. But the house has heating, so it won’t be cold.” Gu Mingxi paused. “Did you get the phone? It’s my present for your 18th birthday. Sorry that I can’t spend your birthday with you. Pang Pang, happy birthday.”

“Thank you. I didn’t get to say happy birthday to you either,” Pang Qian said. “Gu Mingxi, I bought you a present too, but I couldn’t get in touch with you. Give me your address, and I’ll send it to you.”

“…” He thought for a long time, and then said, “We’ll talk about it later. Right now, my mom and I are renting a place by the school. It’s a very simple place, and there’s not even a mailbox. I’m worried that the mail will get lost.”

Pang Qian asked, “You’re not going to live in the dorms when school starts?”

“Mm, it will be too troublesome for the other students.”

The two of them were both quiet for awhile. Then Gu Mingxi said, “Pang Pang, Shanghai’s a really big city. You have to make sure to take care of yourself when you’re there.”

Pang Qian started to cry again. With a pout, she said, “You’re the one who didn’t keep your word! Even if SHUFE wouldn’t take you, I don’t believe that none of the other schools in Shanghai wouldn’t either! Shanghai has so many top schools, and you exam score was 130 points higher than the minimum for tier-1! You couldn’t have been unable to get into any of them!”

Gu Mingxi sighed. “What’s the point of saying that now? Pang Pang, don’t cry.”

Pang Qian asked, “Are you coming back for New Year’s next year?”

“Probably not.”n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

Pang Qian suddenly wiped away her tears. “Gu Mingxi, next summer, I’ll go visit you, okay?”

He was startled, “Ah?”

“Since you bought a house, I’ll have a place to stay when I visit,” Pang Qian said. “You said that the summers in Z City were very cool. Then I’ll just go to get away from the heat for a few days. You’ll have to be the host and take me out to play.”

Gu Mingxi said helplessly, “Z City isn’t a vacation city.”

“That’s okay, I just want to see you,” Pang Qian said. “Gu Mingxi, I’ve never gone so long without seeing you! A year! I definitely have to go see you!”

Gu Mingxi was silent again. Then he said, “Pang Pang, if you still want to visit me next spring, then I’ll gladly welcome you in the summer. But I hope that you can understand that some things are better left to the past. Some people you meet will only be with you for a certain part of your life, like Wang Tingting in primary school, Sun Mingfang in junior high, and even Zheng Qiaoqiao in high school. You guys were really good friends at one time, but later, you grew distance because you went to different schools. You’re always moving forward. After you start SHUFE, you’ll meet a lot of new people, and you’ll meet some boys.”

His voice carried a warm smile. “Pang Pang, when you’re in college, dating isn’t unusual. If there’s someone that you like, you should try to see where it takes you. Maybe in a few months, you’ll have a boyfriend and you won’t want to see me anymore.”

His words were very strange, and Pang Qian felt extremely depressed hearing them. Her mouth was faster than her brain, and she’d already started saying, “I won’t! Gu Mingxi, if you like another girl, you have to be sure to tell me!”

Gu Mingxi, “…”

Pang Qian’s face reddened. Gu Mingxi said, “Alright, we’ve already talked for a long time. I’m handing up. Pang Pang, when you get to Shanghai, set up your phone and message me your number.”

“Oh.”

“Then I’ll hang up, bye.”

“Bye.” Pang Qian still couldn’t bear to hand up the phone. Her eyes were red. She asked the shop boss, “How much?”

The boss glanced at their screen, “18 dollars.”

A very expensive long-distance phone call, but Pang Qian didn’t feel it was a waste at all as she handed the money over.

Because she’d finally found Gu Mingxi.

At the end of August in 2003, Pang Qian went to Shanghai to register. Pang Shuisheng and Jin Ai’hua went with her. The K train took two and a half hours to get to Shanghai. Then they got onto a shuttle bus arranged by the school and made their way to the campus.

Seeing the school gates for the first time, Pang Qian felt a bit disappointed. SHUFE was such a renowned school, so how come it didn’t look impressive at all?

Pang Qian dragged her luggage onto the campus. The school was located in the middle of the city, and the area wasn’t very large. There was green grass and trees providing shade. Along the way, she saw a building that looked ancient with a very Shanghai style.

Pang Qian and her parents were very busy that day. They took care of all the admission papers. Before returning to her dorm, she insisted on going to the mobile store to set up a sim card.

She stuffed the card into her Motorola phone and turned it on. When the screen appeared, she immediately wanted to call Gu Mingxi to let him know her number in Shanghai.

But he’d actually turned off his phone.