Chapter 23: A Throne of Ruin: Chapter 23

“Finley, how about this?” I looked up from the roses I was tending and wiped my forearm across my forehead. Nearly a week had passed since my dinner with Nyfain. Nearly a week of helping the villages with everlass, tending the queen’s garden, and spending as much time as possible with him. It was never enough. I just kept craving more of his touch, more of his smell, more of . Didn’t matter if he was teasing or brooding or sensuous. I loved it all.

We’d developed a sort of schedule around each other. In the mornings I’d tend to the queen’s garden—planting herbs, weeding, and pruning the rosebushes. When he woke up, he’d meet me there, and we’d share a meal before traveling to the everlass field. Sometimes we’d talk while we worked, but usually he sang to the everlass. Then we’d create the nulling elixir starter, dry or pick leaves if they were badly needed, and work together in peaceful camaraderie. It was my favorite time of the day.

We’d have lessons in the evening, dancing or sparring, then we’d put our clothes back on from our almost always furious lovemaking and share another meal, maybe hit the library or just read together, and off he’d go into the Forbidden Wood.

I’d changed up what I was reading, doing more research into shifters. Annoyingly, while there was plenty of history, few of the books focused on the day-to-day realities of being a shifter. At least I was learning about the first shift, the need for the animal to get out and run, and ways to work with demanding animals. So far none of the approaches had tamed my beast, but I kept up hope.

Hadriel crouched near two even rows of herbs, looking at the base of some thyme. “This should take root, huh?”

Gyril and Jawson, still helping with the garden and happy to do so, looked over.

“All you’re doing is putting a plant in the ground,” Jawson drawled. “Do you need approval on every little thing?”

“He probably asks how his farts work out,” Gyril muttered, and Jawson shook with laughter.

“It’s good, Hadriel, just—” I paused as a gush of wetness filled my panties. Nyfain and I had been having an obscene amount of sex, to the point where I was sore most days, but he’d been too tired last night. This morning, he’d been asleep. This wasn’t some aftereffect of sex.

Which meant…

My chest constricted, and I hurried out of the garden and through the sliding glass door to the queen’s room. Usually I didn’t like to cross the threshold, leaving this space to him and his memories, but right now…

“Finley?” Hadriel called out as I pushed into the cool space and hurried to the washroom. I pulled down my trousers and then my underwear.

My heart sank at the sight of the red stain.

My period. It was over a week late, but it had come anyway.

I couldn’t say it wasn’t a total surprise. My breasts had been a bit more tender these last couple of days and the bloat had settled in. You could only blame the excellent chocolate mousse for so long.

Even so, I wilted where I sat, a deep, profound sadness dragging me down. It was stupid, wanting a baby with all that was going on. Beyond stupid. I knew that.

Even if we weren’t living in such a fucked-up world, our kingdom on the verge of extinction, there was the rank difference between Nyfain and me. He’d worn a golden collar to our dinner, depicting his rank and status. I’d worn clothes that he’d had made for me. He was a dragon, and my animal purred. True mates shifted into the same animal. All the books I’d read had made that same point.

But the daydream had been a pleasant fiction, I couldn’t deny it. Lying with him, his hand gently resting on my belly, had brought a strange sort of peace over all of us. Nyfain, me, and our animals. And, for that short time, I’d allowed myself to wonder if I actually his true mate. Common or no, purring animal or no, I’d wondered if maybe the fates had aligned in my favor and I could finally have my prince. And if we were destined to be together, surely that must mean we could break the curse together somehow. I mean, I’d found a cure for the demon poison—why not take the next step?

But here we were. Eventually everyone woke up from their dreams, however pleasant.

“Finley, love, what’s going on?” Hadriel ventured in with raised eyebrows and a plain gray shirt. He was tired of having his butler outfits laundered after gardening because Cecil, the seamster with the attitude problem, had to do it, and it was nothing but abuse when he went to pick everything up.

“Nothing, I’m fine. I’ll just—”

“Oh.” Hadriel braced his fists on his hips and wandered closer, looking at my underwear.

“Ew, get out!” I tried to pull down my shirt. “I do not need you in here when I’m sitting on the toilet!”

“Honey dove, I have seen it all. I’m already scarred for life. I’m not worried about a little blood here and there. Now…how are we feeling?”

He pulled over a chair that a lady’s maid had likely used to wash the queen and sat in front of me.

“Relieved? Sad?” he asked, peering deeply into my eyes.

Intense sadness welled up, not just from me, but from my animal. I shoved it away. I wouldn’t have felt anything right now if not for the dragon’s raw, primal need to jump me whenever anything reminded him that I was late. Or the soft look in Nyfain’s eyes when he gazed at me with his hand on my belly. Or the kisses he feathered across my navel. I’d allowed myself to delve too deeply into the fantasy, and now it was time to get my head out of the clouds.

“I’m good,” I said, looking around. “But I need…”

“Say no more.” Hadriel stood and raised his hand. “I’ll run and get Leala. She’ll handle the details.” He peered at me intensely for another long beat.

I lifted my eyebrows.

“Right. Just…” His salute turned into a raised finger. “Just getting the lay of the land. So you…aren’t relieved, as such…”

“Hadriel, get out. Seriously. It’s just a period. I have many.”

“Right. It’s just that, you know, you hated the guy when you first came, but now you seem pretty fond of him, and he’s almost palatable now—” He lifted both hands, clearly reading the murder in my expression. “I’ll just go get Leala. Sit tight. There are rags coming, my love.”

An hour later, I hacked at the roses like a woman possessed. Slashes of red covered my arms, and a few gashes lined my face, but I refused to yield. The work was a distraction from thinking about Nyfain. Because I’d have to tell him the news.

Not that it should matter. He’d been living a pleasant fantasy, too. If I’d actually been pregnant, he would’ve lost it. He would’ve been pissed about the timing, about my fragility in the face of what he wanted for me, about having a child when locked in a curse…

Still, fantasy or no, I would have to be the bearer of bad news.

Part of me feared he’d only allowed me so close so he could watch over things. If maybe his desire for a child, an heir, had overshadowed the person actually carrying the child. I wondered if, when he found out I wasn’t pregnant, he’d want things to go back to the way they were, where we fought our attraction and mostly kept to ourselves.

The fear of it hurt the worst, because it wasn’t a baby daddy or a prince I craved. It was Nyfain the man. The brooding asshole whose mood could turn in a moment. Who could silence a room just by walking in and scare the house staff with a look. Who went out of his way to make things easier for me. Who backed my decisions, allowed me to be who I was, and would give his life to save mine. The fighter, the protector, the reader, the lover.

Shit.

I was so fucked. This whole situation had gotten so fucked.

“Finley.”

His rough voice washed over me. Terror of what came next fought with the pleasure of his presence.

The insane thought of not telling him rolled through my head for the umpteenth time since I’d found out.

Pulling the pruning shears out of the bush, I wiped my cheek with the back of my arm. I’d probably just wiped blood on my face, too.

Time to face the music.

my animal said.

I rolled my eyes and turned, finding Nyfain on the patio in his worn jeans and white T-shirt. His hands dangled at his sides. Usually he’d venture into the garden and ask about the day’s labors. We’d then leave out the side where the guys had painstakingly beat a hole in the brick wall. It was correctly thought that they (we) shouldn’t be traipsing through the queen’s chambers every day. Today, though, he remained on the patio.

The other men had all noticed the change. Gyril gave me a sideways look but stayed bent over his shovel. Jawson curled his lips, making a show of being focused on planting bright and cheerful flowers that did not fit the current mood. Hadriel stared at me with a flat expression, his back to Nyfain.

“What’s up?” I asked, staying put.

“I’d like to speak with you.”

I scowled at Hadriel.

He extended his hands in front of him, putting up his palms. He mouthed, “I only told Leala.”

Leala had needed to get the supplies, though, and women in the castle didn’t have periods. Not since the curse. They were all frozen in time. The need for such items would be noticed, and everyone would understand they were for me. Rumors would spread, and Nyfain’s valet would naturally hear them. He’d know what they meant.

I didn’t have to be the bearer of bad news after all. I’d just have to deal with the fallout.

“Yeah, sure.” I took a moment to tuck my tools into their canvas pockets in the gardening bucket before crossing the dirt with a straight back. He waited for me to pass him, and I couldn’t help inhaling his intoxicating scent. Why did it have to be the best damn smell that had ever come across my nose? It wasn’t fair.

I reached for the sliding glass door, but Nyfain got there first and slid it open for me. He waited for me to go inside before following me and letting the door shut behind us. He didn’t stop when I did, though, instead walking on to the center of the room.

Stopping in front of the enchanted rosebush coming up out of the floor, he said, “Look at this,” his voice rough.

My stomach flipped, and unease rolled through me. It felt like fear drove holes through my center.

I stopped opposite him and stared down without seeing.

“What do you see?” he prodded.

I shook my head, willing myself to focus, but it felt like waiting for a guilty verdict. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

“Finley, ,” he barked, power riding his command.

I stepped back and wiped my forehead with my forearm, pushing back on his command. If he kept it up, I’d give him one of my own, and we both know mine landed a helluva lot harder.

“Please,” he said softly. “Look at the rosebush.”

Gritting my teeth, hating all the unsaid words hovering between us, I did as he said.

“What do you see?” he repeated.

“The enchanted rosebush, Nyfain, I don’t know. What am I supposed to see?”

He pointed at the trunk, sparkling with color. Then a branch that supported five full blooms with little specks of pixie light floating around them.

“This is your village, I now realize.” He kept pointing. “For a long time, it was the only branch with any blooms. The rest had wilting flowers or outright dead. But this…” He pointed to a different branch. The wilting roses were magically lifting back into full blooms. The branch was turning from a cracked, weather-beaten brown into a vibrant, new-growth green. “This is the village we recently helped. This…” He pointed at the base, where the stem was changing color. “This is the castle, I think. I’m not sure what it means, since we don’t get sick, but it looks like life is resurging here, too. Your everlass elixir is changing the fate of the kingdom. It’s showing in the rosebush.”

I stared at it in wonder.

“This is great news, obviously,” Nyfain said, his voice subdued, “but now we enter the race.”

“What race? What do you mean?”

“The demon king monitors the progress of his efforts. We’re going to need to heal as many as we can, as fast as we can, before he shows up and attempts to find a way to stop us.”

“But…” I stared at him, not comprehending. “Do you really think he cares? We were worried about Jedrek, and nothing seems to have come of that. And now this… He hasn’t been here in how long?”

“When the curse was fresh, he used to show up for progress updates every few months. While he was here, he’d do whatever he could to make it harder for us. He’d kill anyone who angered him. He’d battle wills with me when I tried to stop it. Then, as we began to deteriorate, it was twice a year. Then once a year. We haven’t seen him in over three years, I think. The kingdom is fading, and he’s happy to let it. But now, suddenly…”

He looked at the rosebush.

Anger rose, an easier emotion than the fear and uncertainty and now dread firing within me. “You’re using the threat of the demon king to hurry me up? Because you assume you’ll lose your healer when he comes, right? I better get it all done before you sacrifice me to your cause.”

A line formed between his eyebrows.

I heaved a sigh. “I’m sick of hearing that he might show up.

being the operative word. I’m sick of you hinting or outright saying that I’ll need to make a deal with him—meaning I’ll obviously need to leave. I’m sick of letting demons rule my life. Just sick to hell of it. Let him come. Fuck him. In the meantime, yeah, I’ll heal everyone I can. That was always the end game. I don’t need a rose and a curse and the threat of the demon king to do it as quickly as possible. I’ll do it to save lives.”

I turned to go.

“Finley, wait.”

“Nah.” I pushed out through the sliding glass door.

“What’s happening?” Hadriel asked. The others looked up too, then quickly looked away. From the way Hadriel’s mouth snapped shut, I presumed Nyfain had followed me out.

“Finley, stop,” he commanded.

I pushed through the urge to do just that, shaking off his power. I’d come a long way since I was first dragged to this castle.

Past the garden wall, I felt his hand wrap around my upper arm. He swung me around, his expression terrifying to behold. If you weren’t past caring about his scariness, obviously.

“Finley, would you wait?” he said in a low voice, his eyes roaming my face. “I didn’t mean… You wouldn’t be sacrificed to the demon king. It’ll be your choice. You’ll see what he’s like when he comes. I want—”

“What’s best for me, I know.” I yanked my arm to break free of his grasp.

He didn’t let go. Instead, he shook his head, and frustration filled the bond. His lips tightened and his arm jerked a little, as though he were about to fling me away like he was so good at doing. I readied for the emotional blow, hardening myself.

“Damn it, Finley. We can’t both be this stubborn.” He grabbed my other arm, bending to peer down into my eyes. “Why are you afraid?”

I’d forgotten that emotion was squeezed into everything. It was embarrassing to admit I was worried he’d disown me now, so I figured playing dumb was my best bet. “What?”

“Your sadness woke me up this morning. I wondered what happened. The rest of your emotions helped me piece it together. The only one I don’t understand is the fear. Did you think I’d hurt you when I found out you weren’t with child?”

“What?”

He breathed deeply through his nose, fire erupting in his eyes. “Fuck this dragon,” he muttered, bending his head a little and squeezing his eyes shut.

Another trickle of fear wormed through me as I watched him wrestle with his dragon’s obvious desire to try again. A pang of longing followed by unease rushed in. Suddenly, I just needed space from him, from .

“I’m not afraid of you, Nyfain. Give me a break.” I pulled back, but his grip made it clear that I wasn’t going anywhere. It was anyone’s guess why I didn’t push the issue with my will.

“Back off for a fucking minute. Can’t you see she’s hurting?” he snarled, snapping his eyes open and refocusing on me.

I stilled in his grasp.

“Finley, I can feel your emotions through the bond. I just don’t understand what they mean. Why fear?”

Heat prickled my traitorous eyes.

my animal implored me.

“Is there any way to separate from our animals?” I grumbled.

His lips tweaked up at the corners, but his eyes were so full of concern.

“It’s nothing,” I said, trying to get away. “Look, we had a good time, but I understand it’s over now. So that’s fine. Let’s go back to normal.”

“And what is normal?” he growled.

“We’ll heal the land, the demon king will come, and you’ll be rid of me. The whole kidnapping issue will be behind you, and the desperate need to fuck will be a long-lost memory. You’ll find your soul mate and live happily ever after. Done and dusted.”

my animal said in disgust He gritted his teeth, his eyes sparking. “What do you know about my soul mate?”

“I know that she’ll be able to eat at the table with you and not be embarrassed.” I raised my chin. “She’ll have that dowry your kind are into. A title. Probably huge tracts of land…”

“My mother didn’t know how to eat at a fine table. She was taught, and she only did it when she had to. We rarely ate that way together. I’d much rather sit in front of a fire with you, eating off a tray. Those are some of my favorite meals. As for the dowry, these aren’t normal times. And, if you ask me, your dowry is more robust than anyone who has come before you.”

A response like that deserved more than one word, but it was all I had in my arsenal. “What?”

“You are literally healing the kingdom, and you are doing it for free. If you’d put a price tag on that, you would be rolling in coin. I, on behalf of the villages, would owe you a fortune.”

I shifted my weight, popping out a hip, not really sure where to go from here. Not really sure what any of this meant.

“Look, neither of us knows what the future holds,” he continued. “Let’s just leave it a question mark. For now, let’s carry on the way we have been, okay? We’ll keep lighting up that enchanted rosebush with new blooms. You know, someone I’m quite smitten with, who is currently out of commission for vigorous fucking, told me to have hope.”

Tears pooled in my stupid eyes, and I offered him a watery smile. “Sounds good,” I managed.

“So that was it, then,” he said softly, tracing my chin with his thumb. “You worried I wouldn’t want you anymore.”

I wiped my suddenly tear-stained cheeks, not commenting. I wasn’t fond of sounding like a sad sack.

He clucked his tongue, his eyes so incredibly deep and soft. He pulled me into a tight hug.

“You’re the stupidest smart girl I’ve ever met. I’m incapable of pretending, Finley. I might be able to hold back, but I don’t play false. There was something incredibly primal and erotic about trying for a baby— Fuck it.” He tightened up around me, burying his face into the crook of my neck, then breathed in my scent, shaking. “I’m not going to be able to mention that anymore, actually. My fucking dragon has been trying to rip control away from me since I woke up this morning and realized what happened.”

“I just…didn’t know if I’d be as interesting without that primal need pulling at you. This last week has been great, but I didn’t know how much of that was real and how much was…your dragon, basically.”

“All of it was real, and half of it was my bloody dragon riding me. The fucking bastard is getting out of control.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

He tensed. “Because he senses what the future…might hold, and he has clearly forgotten what we’re up against. There is not a magnanimous bone in his big, scaly body. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We’re not worried about the future. We’re focusing on the present.” He leaned down to kiss me, and then his voice reduced to a whisper. “Why didn’t you come to me this morning?”

“I woke up with you. What do you mean?”

“When you found out. When you felt the loss and sadness. Why didn’t you come to me for comfort?”

I stared up into his golden, sunburst eyes, so beautiful. So expressive. I didn’t know what to say. That had been the furthest thing from my mind, and not just because I feared how he’d take it. I’d never had anyone to go to for comfort. That wasn’t something my life had ever afforded. I dealt with things blow by blow, and I trucked on. That was all I’d ever known.

He clearly read the confusion and stroked his fingertips down my cheeks. “We may not officially be mates, but let me fill that role for you. When you need help or comfort, or a punching bag, come to me. I’ll never turn you away. Okay? We’re in this together.”

My emotions betrayed me again and tears leaked from my eyes. I ran my hand down his chest. “I’m not out of commission for vigorous fucking if you don’t mind a midmorning bath…”

He scooped me up into his arms. “The villages can wait an hour.”

While they did wait an hour that day, they wait. Their time of sickness had come to an end. We worked long days, training people to care for the everlass and make the nulling elixir, teaching them who to treat with the crowded elixir.

More time passed.

In the beginning, I was the only one making the crowded elixir. A few other experienced healers and plant workers tried it and killed their patients. But a few unlikely villagers proved surprisingly adept at it, one of them Dash. He tried it on three people behind Hannon’s back and cured them. All of his learning from me, plus a natural propensity for gardening, had allowed him to shine despite his age. I hated putting the burden on his shoulders, but there were so few who could make the crowded elixir that we had no choice. He was happy for that fact.

Two months went by. When Nyfain tried to do too much, working day and night, I forced him to go to bed and sleep. I certainly didn’t need him as protection. After a couple of weeks, I was receiving big smiles whenever I entered a village, followed by stories of how the elixir had cured a sister, father, aunt, or grandfather. Children ran through the Forbidden Wood in the daytime to the nearest everlass fields, pruning and tending, as I’d taught them. Singing songs and .

The demon-be-gone elixir was also in high demand. In some villages, everyone who went out after a certain time was mandated to take it. If they wanted to get it on with a demon, so be it, but they’d do it with a clear head.

Alcohol sales went through the roof.

Nyfain and I basically shared the tower room. I’d fall into the covers in a heap, only to wake up when he slid in beside me in the wee hours of the morning. His big arm would pull me into his warm, strong body, smelling fresh and clean from a hasty washup. I’d snuggle in close, curling into him, and inevitably feel his hard length pulsing against my bare flesh. The slightest wiggle of acceptance, and he’d thread his large cock deep into my suddenly wet depths.

Most nights, I gave that wiggle.

Occasionally, when he’d had a tougher night than usual and his dragon was closer to the surface, his teeth would scrape my neck or shoulder. Sometimes they’d even dig in, nearly drawing blood, and a new sort of feeling would tingle across my heated flesh. Like little prickles digging down, sending a strange sort of electric pulse through my body. It was always over too soon, and shortly thereafter we’d come together in a tangle of limbs.

When I woke up for the day, only a scant few hours later, more often than not we’d have another session.

Even after a couple months, I still could not get enough of him. Each lovemaking session was better than the last. Each conversation felt like it could go on forever. Our animals were still major assholes, though, always pushing for more. They wanted to seal the deal.

Nyfain’s dragon was worse than ever. Worse than my animal. He seemed to feel a threat coming. He wanted us protected, and claiming, mating, imprinting, and knocking me up were all on his list. We’d had a few good battles leading to explosive sex. Nyfain was always able to regain control right before the pivotal moment, though, much to the dragon’s increased dismay.

He was right to worry.

All good things would come to an end, and the demon king had noticed our efforts.