Chapter 7: A Throne of Ruin: Chapter 7

He paused as he turned, almost looking back, and I wondered if he’d felt it too. Or maybe he was feeling my turbulent emotions with what I knew was coming, given that I’d liked what we’d done. I’d liked giving in to the rush, as crazy as it had been. I liked his body filling mine.

Then again, I wasn’t exactly sure I liked the strings attached. I might’ve disregarded being a side piece a moment ago, but sometimes the mind could ignore crazy things when she needed to get a little ass. And his moods weren’t amazing…

“Get your stuff,” Nyfain barked. “We need to move. We’ve wasted too much time.”

I could hear the seething anger writhing beneath his words.

“What was I supposed to do, lose control of her and let her shift?” I demanded, grabbing my ruined slip of panties. Those wouldn’t do anyone any good. Looked like I’d be going commando.

He didn’t comment, waiting for me to grab my pants. I paused when I had them in my hand, though, looking down at my legs. His release mixed with a tiny bit of blood trailed down my inner thigh.

I hated the cleanup. Women got the short end of the stick when it came to this stuff.

I tramped into the brush and found the largest leaves available. They’d have to do. It would’ve been nice if he had some clothes I could steal, but given he’d clearly gotten here in his dragon form, he was rocking the skin suit.

“Are you drinking the tea to ward off pregnancy?” he asked gruffly, having noticed what I was doing.

“I haven’t slept with anyone in a while. So no. It doesn’t matter, though, does it? When I was first at the castle, Hadriel said you can only knock up your true mate, and true mates have to be the same animal. Not to mention they’re rare. We’re good.”

“The curse has many hidden features, and no one understands them all. My father didn’t even understand them all. He slipped into a brain fever shortly after my mom died. The demon king preyed upon him when he was weak, twisting their dealings. Or so I was told. I was not here at that time. To hear tell, it was a time of great confusion after my mother died.” His voice dripped with pain and regret. “It’s hard to know what is fact and what is fiction. Regardless, after the curse was laid, the exact details of whatever my father worked out went with him to his grave. I was not strong enough by myself to save him from the magical gag.” The demon’s curse prevented those who knew the details from sharing them with those who did not. It literally stopped them from breathing if they attempted to speak of it. “There could be hidden facets to the curse that might mean you’re susceptible to getting with my child—”

A shock of emotion blasted through the bond, cut off so quickly that I didn’t get a chance to figure out what it meant. What he was feeling. I just knew his dragon was suddenly roiling and tearing within the bond, possibly trying to take the skin back.

Strange tingles worked through my body, and a worrying soft heat unfurled within my middle. My animal felt like she was rolling over, purring softly and aching down deep. She was responding to his admission. To his possibly being able to get me with child.

Holy fuck, why the fuck was I feeling longing, too? Was I insane? Before him, I’d mostly resigned myself to a life as a spinster. I was going to fly solo. This new change of pace was not welcome. Not with him, at any rate. Not with our setup and the obvious fact that we could never be together! I had enough problems without liking the idea of him knocking me up.

I shoved away the thought and let logic reign. He was clearly just playing it safe, or possibly freaking out a little because he’d just banged after a long streak of celibacy. Unlike the rest of the (very promiscuous) castle, he clearly hadn’t adjusted to the idea of his coming no longer directly relating to babies.

It just didn’t stand to reason that he could knock up any old person. He was part of the magic that affected the castle, and I knew from before that none of them could get pregnant. The women didn’t have their periods and the men’s swimmers didn’t work. It would stand to reason that he would need a fated paring to beat the curse. Some things were stronger than magic.

“When we get back to the castle,” he said, “I’ll have Hadriel give you the tea. Take it all month, just in case. I don’t intend to take any chances with you.”

His hard stare said he wasn’t just talking about pregnancy anymore. Regardless, if it would get him off my back, fine. It wasn’t the best-tasting tea, but it had to be better than this rotten mood.

His words before all that struck me, though. His pain. His regret.

The breath went out of me for what he must have suffered. He’d lost his mother, someone he’d been close to, and then watched his father die, unable to help him. I knew exactly the kind of stain that left on the soul. We shared that bitter agony within our pasts.

I gulped. I’d never heard those details about the mad king. About the brain fever or how he’d died. I was too young to know the confusion Nyfain was speaking of. One thing I did believe, though, was that the demon king would prey on the weak. His minions certainly loved to, at any rate.

I smoothed my hair, thinking about where I’d need to go. “Is there any other choice for me other than going back to the castle?”

He turned his back. “You had a demon chasing you. I assume you were on your way to the birch?”

“No, actually. I was luring her into the wood so that I could kill her.” I pulled on the binding, much looser now than before. It would work, though. Kinda. At least it would keep my breasts covered. I tied my ruined, gaping shirt into a knot at my waist.

“Then what were you doing?”

“Killing her softly.”

I quickly told him about my interactions with the demons tonight, including what the woman had said regarding the demon king.

He shook his head as I affixed the belt and then grabbed the sword. The blade was still bloody, so I went to use my ruined panties to wipe it off.

“Stop.”

I froze at the bark of command.

Nyfain walked over and grabbed the panties out of my hand.

“Despite what our beasts just did, and what they want, I will not fuck you, Finley. I will not claim you. I can’t help what just happened, and I know that you can’t either, but this is where it ends.” A nerve in his jaw jumped. “That being said, I won’t take you for a fool and pretend that I won’t be dreaming of that precious little cunt wrapped around my cock. Or that I won’t read the notes in that book you gave me and think of you playing the role of the heroine to my hero. I will dream of that horse ride. So save those panties for me. Don’t spoil them with the demon’s blood. I’ll use them instead of you.”

Staring at me, he roughly tucked them into my pants pocket. Clearly if he’d had pants, he would’ve shoved them into his.

Heat stole through me as I held that troubled, fiery gaze. He’d just laid himself bare, not hiding his desperation for me. Not his animal’s…

. Giving him my panties…it awakened a strange kind of arousal I couldn’t explain. I nodded mutely.

He turned and started walking. “Let’s go. When you get too sore to walk, let me know. I’ll carry you.”

I looked down at my sword as I jogged to catch up. “I think I’m numb right now, actually. Except what do I do with the blood on the tip?”

“We’ll use the demon. I want to look at her before we fake your death.”

“Fake my death?”

“It’ll be a show for your village so the demons there—and that dead man—will think I ended you and them. Of course, it’ll only work if Hannon dealt with the other demons.”

“We can count on him. He’ll probably cut them up and bury them. I had no idea that guy was so hardcore. I feel bad about saying he’s bad in crisis situations.”

“You’ll return to being my captive. The story will be that I found you in the wood and retrieved you. That is, of course, unless the demons at the castle knew their kind were bringing you in. In which case, I’ll thank them for flushing you out.” He paused for a moment. “I wondered if you would stand out enough that the demons would notice and consult about what to do with you. That’s one of the reasons I took you in the first place, to ensure you were under my control and not theirs. I shouldn’t have let you go back to your village.”

“Why did you?”

He tensed, and a storm of emotions colored our bond. Like a moment ago, they were so jumbled that I couldn’t tell what the overall vibe was other than “turbulent.”

“I didn’t, as you’ll recall. You snuck away on your own. I merely tracked you down and saved your life.”

“We’re going to be pissy now, are we? You’re going to turn on the charm like when we first met?”

“I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Aren’t you used to disappointing people by now?”

I hadn’t meant to be so cutting, but I was still dealing with the sharp sting of his rejection. I couldn’t help lashing out to cover the confused, hurt emotions.

And then I didn’t feel bad at all.

He turned, grabbed me by the collar, and yanked me toward him. I remembered when he’d grabbed me by the throat and reacted in kind, just in case he got any ideas.

I stabbed forward with the sword, aiming for his side. He’d heal.

He swiveled his hips, and the sword slid past. He slapped my hand, and the weapon fell to the ground, utterly useless.

“You were better with that pocketknife.” He pulled me in closer, getting right in my face. Imposing. Dominating. “I am used to disappointing people, yes. Which is why I have no problem locking you in the tower when we get home and keeping you there until the demon king eventually comes for you.”

Anger boiled through me. I moved my lips, as though I were trying to talk and couldn’t. A crease formed between his eyebrows, and he leaned in a little closer so he could hear me, pulling his focus from everything else.

I swung my foot and connected with his already bruised balls.

His left eye squinted, and his face turned red as he wheezed and dropped, letting me go. He landed on his knees and bent over, the muscles rippling across his broad back.

“Do not”—I picked up the sword, thought better of it because it would be embarrassing if he just slapped it away again, and jammed a fist to my hip—“manhandle or threaten me. Look, we fucked. It happened. I enjoyed…most of it. But if you don’t want to do that anymore, fine. I’d rather not deal with all the strings attached with you, either. If I’m going back to the castle, though, we’re going to have to work together. You need to drop this temper-tantrum bullshit, got it? Try acting like a team player. You’re going to need more everlass elixir to help your villages, and I’m here to help. So let’s just be acquaintances without all the drama, yes?”

He lay on his knees and forearms with his head down. “What the fuck were those beasts thinking shoving my dick between your teeth and twisting my ballsack? My cock and balls are on fucking fire. Your kick crippled me, I think. How’s your pussy?”

This guy’s mood could sure pivot.

“Still mostly numb, I think. It’s a little sore but not throbbing yet. It’s also leaking our combined orgasms. So that’s unpleasant for me.”

He groaned and dropped his head a little more. “I enjoyed it, too. I’ve wanted to thrust into you since you left your family to save them and stared me down in the wood. Your fearlessness, your bravery, the feel of your animal, your smell… I wanted to lay you down right there and have my fill.”

He pushed painfully to his feet, holding his junk.

“But it’s not meant to be,” he said.

“I said okay. I hear you.”

He nodded. “I’m also a broody bastard. I don’t make excuses for it. I wasn’t born with charm.”

“That didn’t need to be said.”

“So don’t sass me.” He grinned a little and looked up at the starry sky. “What sort of mess have we gotten ourselves into?”

“A big one?”

He sighed and nodded, finally looking at me again. His eyes and the bond held remorse. “A big one.” He glanced at the sword in my hand. “Why’d you bring that with a demon on your heels if you don’t know how to use it?”

“I stupidly thought a sword wouldn’t be that much different than a dagger. Or that all you really have to do was stick the pointy end in the creature you’re trying to kill.”

“That all you have to do. It’s just the way in which you do it that matters.”

“Yes, thank you. I hadn’t figured that out when she easily evaded me and then raked her claws down my arm.”

He glanced at the arm in question. “Flesh wound.”

“Yeah. It stings. She could’ve really gored me, but she kept it light.”

“She probably thought she had a prize for the demon king. I wonder what that dead man offered as a trade.”

I wondered the same thing, and it delighted me that he kept referring to Jedrek as a dead man. Any remorse I might have had about unleashing Nyfain on him had dried up after this stunt. The only problem was that I was wary about siccing the beast on someone so popular in the village. The demons would surely hear about it, and they’d probably tattle to those in the castle. It wouldn’t take long before the whole kingdom full of demons knew that Nyfain could now easily slip past the magical barrier and get into the villages. I didn’t want to spoil things for him because of a grudge. I’d have to, annoyingly, tell him to let Jedrek be. It wasn’t like Jedrek could do anything at this point, anyway. As far as the demons were concerned, Nyfain had ownership of me now.

Nyfain hobbled a little until we reached the demon’s lifeless form. He turned her over with his foot and glanced at her face. “I don’t recognize her. She’s low on the hierarchy. She won’t be missed.” He picked her up and threw her deep into the brambles as though she were nothing but a stone. “Come on. Time to fake your death. Your family will know it isn’t real, correct?”

“Hannon will know, yeah. He told me I couldn’t go back. He’ll know why we’re doing this.”

He nodded and backed away from me. Confused, I followed.

“No.” He held out his hand. “You stay there. I need room, or I’ll crush you. The dragon is very big, remember?”

“You just said ‘come on.’ How was I supposed to know you’re about to change into the thing that just took my second virginity?”

Heat kindled through our bond. He muttered something, but I didn’t catch it.

He grew into his massive creature, half as tall as a tree. Dull black scales covered his body like armor. His back sloped down, with longer front legs than back, and a tail ending in wicked spikes. A dragon without wings, ground-bound.

His head bent toward me, mouth open, large teeth staring down at me. Instead of grabbing me in his maw, like before, he inhaled deeply.

“Gross,” I muttered with a scowl. “Save that for my animal. We two-legs don’t do shit like that.”

His teeth clamped over me a little harder than was purely necessary, so I swung and clanged the sword off his armored face. A rumble that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle issued from deep within his chest as he ran toward my village, the branches thwapping me and the wind tossing my hair. In a moment, we were at the edge of the wood. He stopped quickly, and I screamed.

He dropped me to the ground gently and roared—a deep, rumbling, fearsome sound that turned my blood cold and sent a peal of desire working through me. I really needed to sort out my issues involving fear and arousal. He grunted a couple times, snatched me up again, and waited.

I looked out at the quiet village, no candles at all burning near the edges. Given the disturbance earlier, everyone was lying low.

Nyfain shook me, clamping down a little harder. I squeaked and tried to clang him with the sword again.

my animal thought.

“Then loosen up. I can’t breathe,” I wheezed, clanging the sword off him again.

The pinch of his teeth lessened, and I tried to ignore the large tongue pushing up against me. Before, it had been touching me in a functional way, shielding me from the sharpest parts of his lower teeth, but now it moved a little, the tip running against my leg.

“Gross. Stop it! It’s only okay if you’re in the other form.”

“I don’t care who he is doing it for—it’s gross, and no thank you.”

I screamed again, was put down, and listened to his mighty roar echo. A moment later, I was back between his teeth, and we were running in the direction of the birch. Once there, Nyfain changed and caught me as I fell, hugging me close for one solid moment. I thought I heard him inhale, his face in my hair, his thumb stroking my shoulder. My eyes fluttered shut as I soaked the moment in.

my animal asked.

The birch shook to a start and then sashayed in place. “Ugh!” I said, nearing my wits’ end.

Nyfain looked at me funny.

I gestured to the birch. “Don’t you find that annoying? And my animal is annoying. What’s the difference between smelling my head and my…” I pointed at my crotch. “Really? Big difference.”

“I’ll take smelling your pussy over having my balls twisted any day. Or trying to sheer off my cock skin with your teeth. What the fuck was he trying to prove? He told me to shut up when I asked, then called me a terrible lover.”

I let out unexpected laughter. “My animal said that your dragon knew you were going to hurt me because of your size, and he was showing that he would take as much pain as he would give.”

He glanced upward as he walked around the birch.

“Ah,” he said, bending and reaching into the bush. “That makes sense. Though working into you nice and easy would’ve been better for everyone instead of scraping my cock and battering the hell out of your almost-virgin pussy.”

“I mean…” I cocked a hip in mild embarrassment. “It’s just that I wasn’t used to your size. I’m definitely not a virgin. I know things.”

He laughed as he pulled out a yellow package from the bush. “Reading those books, I am sure you know plenty. More than me.” He handed the package off to me, not meeting my eyes. “There’s a letter in there, and another book, though I guess you can pick books at your leisure now.”

“I thought we had a deal?”

His eyes cut my way. He didn’t speak.

“You pick a book for me, and I pick a book for you, right?”

He studied me for a second. “With notes?”

I blew out a breath. “I might need more than notes on yours. I tried to snap that demon’s neck, and she just yelped. I should have enough strength, but…”

“How’s this?” He took my sword before finding a leafy plant and wiping off the blade. He’d been too pissy to do it earlier. “You write me notes in the books—”

“Or how about on paper so we don’t ruin the books?”

“On parchment, then. You write me notes”—he slid my sword into my sheath—“and I’ll teach you how to fight.”

My belly fluttered. “Deal. What about pleasuring me?” His eyes darkened. I put up my hands. “Your dragon said that I wasn’t allowed to pleasure myself, and that I should go to him for all my pleasuring needs.”

“Fat fucking chance,” he murmured, stepping around me. “You have fingers. You can take care of that.”

“At least I’ll have my own space. Since you’ve claimed my panties, I guess I can admit that I was wet reading your letters. And I had to find places to hide and masturbate outside when writing those notes in that book to you.”

“I know. I smelled your sex on the pages,” he growled. His power thrummed within me, and desire flooded the bond. “I smelled your arousal near the birch, too. I knew I was the one who’d caused it, and it drove me wild.”

“And we can’t just have sex without all the claiming because…why?”

He glared at me but didn’t answer.

“I mean, look,” I continued, walking with him toward the everlass field, still holding the package. “I’m not going to bang any demons or staff. Let’s get that straight. I’m good with being a one-man show, and I get that this isn’t going anywhere. So why can’t we enjoy ourselves? A little good-morning bang-bang never hurt anyone.”

He bent to the plants, running his fingers along them, giving them love, while stripping away the shriveling or wilting leaves. I set the package down at the edge of the field and chose the row beside his to help.

“Oh, hey!” I grinned at him. His scowl was in full effect. “I broke your dry spell. My body did, at least. How’d that feel after sixteen years?”

He stepped into a different row, putting more distance between us.

“I’ll tell you how I feel,” I said, working my way through the plants. “I’m starting to feel awfully sore, and that was weird as fuck, but wow, those orgasms were amazing. And the kisses. And the feel of you inside—”

“Stop talking,” he barked, power riding the command.

“Just tell me how it was after sixteen years, and I’ll stop. That’s all I ask.”

“First, those sixteen years feel like one long month of misery. Nothing changes from month to month, and the only thing that changes within the month is the size of the moon and the number of battles. I look back over that time, and it is all a blank. A blur. It’s like it never happened. It’s like that amount of time is just a wasted black hole in my life.”

“Except you stopped aging, right? So after the curse, you should resume life as a twenty-five-year-old.”

“I wasn’t nearly this tired and jaded when the curse began. And if you’d told me at the time that I could be any more tired and jaded, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“So then breaking your dry spell was nothing special.”

A pang hit my heart. I hadn’t expected to feel sentimental about sex with him. I hadn’t thought being his first since the curse would mean anything. But now, hearing that it wasn’t exceptional in any way made me feel lesser. Naïve and inexperienced. Because it had blown my mind. As weird as it had been, letting the beasts take charge, it ended up being sensational. I only wished it could’ve been Nyfain and me, maybe doing the nice and easy approach like he’d suggested. Going slow and sensual, allowing feeling to cradle us as we made love.

I ran my fingers through my hair and straightened. I needed to snap out of it. All of this buildup with him—the foreplay and the letters and the sex—had turned my head. But no good could come of this. I liked the guy, yes, I couldn’t deny it, but it wasn’t meant to be. There’d be no forever, no babies, no future. These feelings would need to die on the vine.

“Hey…”

I jumped and spun, fumbling with a sword that was way harder to get out of its sheath than a dagger. The thing got stuck halfway through. I needed a wider arm span or something.

Nyfain glanced down at my efforts, his brow furrowing. He’d snuck up on me. “You really are bad with that.”

“Oh, you noticed, did you?” I dropped my hands.

He stood close, his breath dusting my face. He ran his fingers down my jaw and gently cupped my chin.

“It was unconventional,” he said. “My dragon has never pushed me aside so completely without shifting. And some things were not at all pleasant…”

“The smelling, right?”

A little grin tweaked his lips. “It was the best sex I’ve ever had, and I wasn’t even in control. It more than broke my dry spell. It ruined me for other women.”

“Oh…” I let the word linger, suddenly embarrassed and not sure why. I tried to pull away.

He held me close. “I felt you through the bond just now. I don’t want you to think you were—are—anything other than extraordinary. You and your animal. My dragon wouldn’t be this adamant about any other.”

“But you still don’t want to knock boots even without claiming?”

“No.”

“What if it’s just a partial claim? Or a claim and a takeback—is that a thing? I’d be in for that.”

“No claiming. No fucking. We’ve satisfied our beasts, and that is enough. I’ll have the memory of your touch and the feel of your body, and that has to be enough.”

“Why?”

“Because I will have to let you go, and if I give much more of myself, I won’t be able to.”