Chapter 236: Chapter 236

Carynne lives again.

Just like Catherine.

After Dullan swore to assist the weeping Catherine, she taught him many things. From history and theology to cooking. Catherine never mentioned how many years she had lived, but it was clear she had lived much longer than she appeared.

And so had her mother. And her mother’s mother. They had enjoyed far more time than others, accumulating vast knowledge and sharing it with their descendants. The stories Catherine told were related to her history and the stories of saintly sacrifices. These were stories not found in history books, but theology as recounted by the sacrificial victims themselves.

But those memories would no longer be passed down. Carynne’s memories would be completely erased. And she would be isolated from the world.

That is what Catherine wanted. She loathed the fate imposed upon her.

“These stories are no longer necessary. Carynne is not livestock—she is to find love. Not to bear children… but to choose true love only.”

Dullan thought of the animals he had killed as he looked at Catherine. She had eyes like those of a cow. It wasn’t just the eyes. Their essence was no different from that of cows or sheep.

They were flawless sacrifices given to humanity by the gods. Their personalities were mere accessories. What mattered was their perpetuity, their repeated deaths.

She reviled it.

Catherine loathed her recurring fate. God had bound them in a cycle of repeated deaths. The only way to escape this cycle was to give life to the next generation of sacrifices.

I am not livestock.

But what could she do? Without bearing children, she couldn’t escape the cycle. Catherine didn’t know a way to completely break free from the cycle. But at the very least, she wanted to prevent Carynne from bearing children as a means to her freedom. She wanted her to love wholly.

Knock, knock.

“…Yes.”

There was a knock on the door. When Dullan answered, the person he expected appeared.

Carynne’s mother, Catherine.

“You’re working hard. Isn’t it too difficult?”

“W-What brings you here?”

It was a space too filled with the stench of blood for Catherine, the wife of the lord, to enter. Dullan put down his knife, removed his gloves, and stood up to wash his hands. But as he tried to leave, Catherine blocked him.

“It won’t take long.”

“B-But the smell…”

“It’s a story that would be troublesome if others heard.”

Dullan closed the door again. He looked into her eyes.

“I am going to die soon.”

Her tone was light, as if she were talking about going for a walk tomorrow. Dullan was taken aback, but as Catherine continued, he couldn’t even find time to express his shock.

“Most things I will put in my will, but I find it inappropriate to write about Carynne in there. So, I wanted to tell you directly.”

“…I-I suppose so.”

“There’s no need for you to cook anymore. Carynne is growing suspicious because you’re too skilled. Anyway, you’ll be leaving for the abbey soon, so just tell Nancy the medicine’s recipe.”

“…The m-meals will taste worse.”

“It can’t be helped. Even when she has forgotten everything, she still sometimes refuses meals with your medicine.”

“Even without memories…”

“Even without memories, decisions made repeatedly are hard to change.”

Catherine pushed her hair back, revealing a glimpse of what Carynne would look like in a few years. Through her dark red eyelashes, her striking eyes looked at Dullan. Those eyes were the color one might see at twilight on a summer day. He saw his reflection in those eyes. Catherine closed her mouth and then spoke again.

“When are you leaving?”

“In a f-few days.”

“…Yes. I see.”

Silence once again filled the room. But it was a silence that indicated preparation for speaking, not the absence of something to say.

Dullan waited for her to continue. Suddenly, the smell of blood felt nauseating.

He found it hard to understand. Catherine was healthy. There was nothing wrong with her body. Why was she talking about dying?

“Is s-something wrong with your body?”

He couldn’t help but wonder, seeing her rosy cheeks. She didn’t look sick at all. Catherine shook her head.

“No, but there will be.”

“It’s not related to an illness?”

“That’s right.”

Her words were almost a confirmation. Dullan knew about her unique situation. She had died and come back to life repeatedly. And he remembered that Catherine’s mother and her predecessors did not live long either. Although Catherine didn’t elaborate, none of them lived very long.

Some committed suicide, others fell ill, and some were caught up in wars. The reasons for their deaths varied, but none of them lived long. At least, none of the ancestors Catherine knew or were recorded had lived long. Was it not a coincidence? Was there something that controlled life beyond the period of its repetition? Dullan cautiously asked.

“Is it related to Carynne?”

“To some extent.”

“Will C-Carynne end up the same way?”

Catherine smiled slightly at Dullan’s question.

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not that… it’s not about blood lineage.”

Her face took on a slightly pained expression as she continued.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

“Crown Prince Gueuze sent another letter. I have to protect my family.”

“But I don’t think ending your life is a good solution.”

“You don’t know him. I do. If I die, Crown Prince Gueuze will lose interest in my family. That’s the kind of person he is,” Catherine explained.

Power-hungry individuals obsess over what they can’t have. For Crown Prince Gueuze, that was Catherine. She thought she had escaped him, but marriage was too fragile a refuge.

Dullan overheard the fief lord confiding in the butler about his worries.

The estate’s taxes were higher than ever. The sudden increase in taxes left them short on money, to the extent that they had to borrow money now. Eventually, the lord had to borrow from the notorious moneylender, Verdic Evans.

Dullan being designated as the next lord wasn’t just because he was a close relative. All other relatives had already refused to inherit the estate. The jewelry Catherine had given Dullan was enough for his parents to live on and pay for his education, but the estate itself was becoming increasingly worthless. It was a debt-ridden estate.

Catherine said that if she died, Crown Prince Gueuze would lose interest in the Hare estate.

“If I die, my story ends. Carynne will live… and that’s enough. Isn’t it like a fairy tale? The main character often grows up without a mother. The parents exit the stage. This is the end for me.”

“……”

“My absence will be more beneficial to Carynne. What if I get weak-hearted and tell Carynne the answer? That’s why I need to die now.”

Catherine smiled.

“Carynne will truly live her own life. Lord Hare will provide her protection at least. After all, he is… a parent.”

But as Dullan looked at her face, he couldn’t shake a feeling of unease. Listening to Catherine, it didn’t seem like she was talking about dying to protect her family. While listing the reasons for her death, she seemed more relieved than anything.

She didn’t look worried about Carynne—she looked pleased. Even as she spoke to Dullan, she seemed to be suppressing her expressions at times. It was the face of someone who wanted to say something but couldn’t.