What should I do?
Carynne grit her teeth.
She had planned to die and start over again. Now that Isella was gone, there was no one left to hold her back. Carynne looked up at Crown Prince Gueuze, who was licking his lips, and pondered.
She was supposed to be fearless. Dying shouldnât have been scary, and Gueuzeâs lust shouldnât have mattered.
But Isellaâs last words.
As she left, Isella had hastily written something on Carynneâs back with her finger.
âI will definitely come to save you.â
Such an emotional statement.
Isella intended to save her. The same Isella who had always driven Carynne to death. Verdicâs daughter. Raymondâs original fiancée. The day had finally come when she declared she would save Carynne herself.
Carynne didnât necessarily believe she would succeed, but the word âdefinitelyâ conveyed Isellaâs determination, which moved her.
Carynneâs efforts had finally paid off. At least, they were no longer enemies. They had become allies, risking their lives for each other. This was more than enough to call them friends or comrades.
But Isellaâs next sentence plunged her into despair.
âYouâre pregnant.â
* * *
How could she be pregnant? Carynne looked down at her stomach. It wasnât showing yet, and she didnât feel anything inside. Her periods had always been irregular, so she hadnât paid attention. She had thought she was infertile, so pregnancy had never crossed her mind.
What was different this time? Was it because Dullan hadnât come from the start? That was the only difference. Should she be happy now that she finally had an answer? But Carynne couldnât feel any joy. Her mind was filled with doubt and anxiety.
âWhat happens if I die without giving birth?â
She was confused.
âWhat happens if I die while pregnant?â
This sudden news didnât bring reliefâit only increased her anxiety.
Carynne bit her lip. If she carried the pregnancy to term and gave birth, she could pass on her fate and then die. But she didnât know what would happen if she died in her current state.
She might die forever this time.
What if both she and the child died, and she never came back? It would be the ordinary death she had always longed for.
If it had been in the past, she might have been happy with this news. A few years ago, she would have danced with joy. She would have willingly embraced death, elated by the sense of accomplishment of finally reaching it.
But nowâ¦
Why now, of all times? In this place? At this moment?
Carynne lamented. Despite all her efforts, she had failed so far, only to learn she was pregnant in the worst possible place.
Until a moment ago, Carynne had been calm. She wasnât afraid of death because she was certain she could start over again.
It was regrettable that the improved relationship with her father and the progress with Isella due to Nancyâs commotion would all be for naught, but it wasnât a desperate enough situation to prevent her from dying.
With Raymond, who also repeated lives, she had nothing to fear.
Raymond.
âI donât want to think about anything else but loving you.â
âThatâs enough now.â
Carynne thought of Raymondâs face. If she died, would he cry? Until a moment ago, her regrets in this life had been Isella and her father.
But the thought of truly dying made her feel unbearably heavy-hearted. What if this endless cycle of life actually ended? What would happen to Raymond?
Raymond had borne the weight of many years and came to her. If she went to eternal death alone, what would happen to him? Could he survive?
Carynne felt breathless.
If she were to die, they should die together. She couldnât leave him alone in this world.
âWhat are you thinking about? Are you afraid of death now?â
ââ¦Iâm not sure, Your Highness.â
âIt seems you are afraid.â
âIt seems so, yes.â
A moment ago, she was ready to die, but now she had to live.
She couldnât die.
At the very least, she couldnât die here. And she couldnât let Crown Prince Gueuze be the one beside her when she died.
She had to die later, beside Raymond.
What should she do?
Unlike before, the crown prince carefully tied her arms to the headboard of the bed. The fact that the restraints were made of blue silk and wouldnât hurt her wrists was her only consolation.
But they were not loose enough to break free by shaking them. Though her legs werenât tied, moving them wouldnât allow her to escape either. He had left them free only to watch her struggle whenever he wanted to subdue her.
Crown Prince Gueuze sat beside her on the bed, looking down at her and stroking her hand. Carynne looked up at him.
âYour Highness, what do you want to do?â
âI wouldnât recommend provoking me. My patience isnât that deep.â
Carynne wanted to argue that she had only asked a question, but she kept silent, not knowing what might provoke him.
âWhat should I do with you first?â
What would happen if she told Crown Prince Gueuze that she was pregnant? Carynne wondered how he would react to the news of another manâs child inside her.
But he was a madman, making his reaction unpredictable.
âI would prefer something that doesnât hurt.â
âHonesty is good. Yes, Iâll have to think of more varied ways with you.â
Carynne watched his fingers slide from her chest to her stomach. Becoming a sexual toy wasnât what scared her. The problem was that he wanted more than just that.
âDo I look a lot like my mother when she was young?â
âYou resemble her so much that you could almost be the same person.â
âDid you do this kind of thing with my mother too?â
âWell. Are you curious?â
âA little.â
Whoâs to say she wouldnât end up as one of the corpses hanging on that wall? There was no guarantee of safety. She couldnât be sure he wouldnât suddenly want to examine her insides at some point.
âAre you scared?â
âYes.â
âGood. Then would you like to scream?â
* * *
Isella panted.
Her wrists and ankles were tied, and she was shoved into a sack. Someone was carrying her. With her mouth gagged, she could barely breathe.
âHurry, hurryâ¦â
She couldnât stop crying. Was she alive? Her head spun. Where had it all gone wrong? What had she done wrong? She shouldnât have gone to that place. No, she shouldnât have left home at all. Isella regretted everything she had done. Her head ached.
As she was carried around like a piece of luggage, a flood of thoughts invaded her mind. Would she survive? If she ever got home again, she would never go out alone again. She would never leave without security again. And.
âWhat about Carynne?â
Isella felt a lump in her throat. Had her final message reached her? Isella wasnât sure if she had done the right thing. But at that moment, she had felt she had to leave that message. Without telling her, if Carynne died, she would regret it forever.
Isella squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to be freed quickly.
âUgh!â
Sudden pain hit Isella. She felt like she had been thrown somewhere.
âWhat, what is this?â
âWell, you were unlucky. Go to heaven.â
She couldnât breathe.
She couldnât breathe at all. Dirty water kept flooding into her eyes, nose, and mouth as she thrashed. Isella realized she was drowning.
âMmfff!â