ââ¦I asked you. What are you doing.â
ââ¦Itâs just⦠part of the fu, neral ritesâ¦.â
Placing money in the hands of the dead was a common funeral tradition.
People believed that after death, souls crossed the river of forgetfulness, and they would place a coin in the hands of the deceased to cover their passage. Administering such funeral rites, including this, was the work of a priest. Yet Raymond found it revolting that Dullan was the one performing this act.
It wasnât just the discomfort of another man touching his loverâs body. It was something deeperâan overwhelming sense of hatred and disgust built up over many long years crawling beneath Raymondâs skin.
âWhat exactly did you just do?â
ââ¦N-Nothing⦠Itâs just⦠part of the f-funeral ritesâ¦.â
âFuneral rites? And who are you toââ
Carynne had only just passed away.
And this wasnât the first time. She had died over a hundred times. If she had died once and would rise again, it might have felt like a blessing. Perhaps he could even celebrate the chance to meet her once more.
But Carynne had died too often, far too many times. A hundred resurrections without ever finding closureâthis was no blessing, but a curse.
In this life, once again, Carynne had shown with her very being that this was a curse. Her death and resurrection were not miracles. It wasnât that she came back to life after death.
She simply died over and over again. Her death was inevitable, unavoidable. No matter how careful she was with people, no matter how cautious she was with her meals, the day would always come. It could not be escaped.
Dullan knew about Carynneâs curse, too. Why had he placed that coin in her hand? His excuse of it being for the funeral was laughable. It was more than laughableâit was infuriating.
âThe reason weâre still dying like thisâ¦â
âKugh! Ahâ AAACK!â
ââ¦is because of you.â
Raymond kicked Dullan hard in the stomach. Dullan retched, spewing blood. His empty stomach could only produce pale stomach acid, but it was revolting all the same.
Tears and blood welled up in the corners of Dullanâs eyes, and filth clung to the sides of his mouth. He looked neither dignified nor defiant. Dullanâs broken appearance showed just how much he had been broken by the constant torture.
That only made Raymond more disgusted. If Dullan had at least remained silent out of conviction, Raymond might have respected him, perhaps even applauded his resilience. But all Dullan did was offer evasive answers, never giving Raymond the complete truth he sought.
Raymond had hoped that by bringing Dullan beside Carynne, he might see his sins, perhaps feel some remorse. He had wanted Dullan to witness his crimes firsthand. Maybe even feel sympathy for Carynne.
But instead of grieving for the dead Carynne, Dullan had tried to pull some other stunt, hiding behind his excuse of funeral rites. He wasnât saddened by Carynneâs deathâhe was only suffering from Raymondâs kicks. Raymond felt a profound sense of disappointment. Did Dullan not even consider the atrocities he had committed as his own sins?
âWhat exactly did you do with that coin just now?â
âI-Itâs really nâ¦nothingâ¦â
âIâll be the judge of that.â
Dullan dragged himself forward on his arms, his legs broken beyond use. It seemed like he was trying to escape, but with his shattered legs, Raymond doubted he could get far, so he didnât stop him at first. However, Dullan didnât crawl toward the door. It looked like he was moving toward the window, perhaps trying to end it all by throwing himself out.
But death wouldnât solve everything. Prolonging someoneâs suffering to prevent them from dying was its own form of torture. Raymond blocked Dullanâs path and spoke.
âIâll start cutting off the few intact joints you have left, one by one. If you tell me now, you might save yourself. Otherwise⦠youâll lose them all.â
âI-Itâs really n-nothâ Aaargh!â
Thud.
Dullanâs eyes rolled back.
âYou canât pass out now. You need to keep talking.â
The torture continued. Whenever Dullan showed signs of fainting, Raymond paused, stopping the bleeding when necessary. Then, once Dullan stabilized, the torment resumed. Raymond persisted like a demon, relentlessly pursuing the elusive truth.
âHuu, uuugh⦠t-the⦠the coin itself isnât anything special⦠itâs just⦠something I⦠heard from Catherine, Carynneâs mother⦠meant to⦠bring her some comfortâ¦.â
After inflicting several rounds of torture on Dullan, Raymond finally uncovered the meaning behind the coin.
The coin itself wasnât of great importance, but to Carynne, it was significant. It was proof that she would live again. And for Dullan, it was the first tangible evidence confirming Carynneâs cycle of reincarnation.
âFor something so trivial, itâs a rather underwhelming truth for the cost of three fingers. I was hoping for something more grand, given the sacrifice.â
ââ¦â¦â
Raymond ran his hand through his hair. Seeing all that blood was beginning to make him feel dizzy.
âBut did you know, Reverend?â
ââ¦â¦â
âAs my memories returned, I thought more about you. One thing became clearâyouâre not giving Carynne the coin purely out of concern for her emotional turmoil.â
ââ¦N-No, thatâs not it.â
âThen consider this a gift for your next life, for a version of you that wonât remember.â
Raymond looked down at Dullan. Dullan wouldnât remember.
It was frustrating to think that Dullan wouldnât recall this torture. If possible, Raymond wished he could torture him for eternity, breaking him until, in the next life, Dullan would not even be able to hold back the truth.
But if the torture continued, Dullanâs mind would break. And once his weakened body gave out, the next version of Dullan would be reborn with a clean slate, free of memoriesâunlike Raymond and Carynne.
That was something Raymond couldnât bear.
âYou always find an escape, donât you? Whether in death or in memoryâ¦â
âPlease, stopâ¦â
âPlease, Reverend.â
A profound sense of despair washed over Raymond. He picked up an awl instead of the saw, and as he brought it close to Dullanâs left eye, he spoke politely, desperately.
âPlease⦠I beg you.â
Show us mercy.
The awl inched toward Dullanâs eye.
* * *
âSir Raymond, are you awake?â
Raymond opened his eyes.
He blinked several times to clear his blurred vision. Dizzy. The smell of blood, pus, gunpowder. No, none of that. He wasnât at the Tez estate anymore. The one beside him wasnât Reverend Dullan, but Zion Electra.
He was alive again.
âSo⦠what was I supposed to do now?â
What am I supposed to be doing right now? Is it wartime again? Or did I retire? After repeating life so many times, Raymond often found himself confused about what point in time he was in.
Raymond sat up.
âAre you alright?â
ââ¦Itâd be a lie to say Iâm alright.â
âYou still need sleep, though, even in these circumstances. Otherwise, you wonât be able to function properly.ân/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
âBut the problem is you sleep too well, Zion. Thatâs why you keep getting shot in your sleep. Know where you are, Sir Zion.â
âPardon?â
ââ¦Sorry. Iâm still half-asleep.â
The current Zion was healthy and fine. Raymond shook his head, remembering the Zion Electra of the past. Zion had always chased after wealth and fame, but as a commoner, those things were like distant fantasies for him.
So, he chased after noblewomen. But his hot temper often earned him enemies, and his impulsive actions led him into danger more than once. He never lived to see thirty.
âLive long, Sir Zion. Watch out for bombs, guns, and women.â
âSir Raymond, I know weâve got a big situation going on right now, but⦠donât you think youâve been acting a bit off lately? Like, all year?â
Zion looked down at him with concern.
Raymond felt a bit embarrassed, realizing how he must look to others. No matter how hard he tried to live normally, issues kept arising. He longed to see Carynne. Only they could truly understand each other.
/subliminalwayfarer
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