Chapter 18

Liam

October 31st, 2016 | 4:00 pm

Halloween wasn't a particularly big deal at the Summers' household. According to Liam's parents, Halloween was a busy day at the hospital and they typically spent the night there. In fact, Liam couldn't even remember a time they had given out candy or gone trick-or-treating with him. He knew his parents loved him, but they hadn't been there for him the way he needed. Liam couldn't complain though. Especially considering how rough other kids had it, at least his parents bought him whatever he needed without a worry. Besides they only knew the Liam that Liam wanted them to know. That was Liam's fault.

They only knew the basketball loving guy who was pretty popular and dating Rachel. Liam didn't talk to them about what was actually bugging him. How could he? They were busy with enough problems as is. He wondered what they would think of him when he told them that he didn't want to play basketball professionally, or that he was fighting with the girl he loved, or that he wanted them around more. He didn't think they would get it. So, when his mom found the invitation to Ryan's annual Halloween party she was shocked to hear that Liam wasn't going to go.

"Why not, Liam?" she asked. "You always go."

Liam shrugged from his laptop. He was working on college applications but he quickly shut it when his mom came over.

"You're really going to spend the night at home all alone?" she asked.

Liam sighed. "No, I guess I'll go," he said half-heartedly.

Liam's mom looked worried. "Are you okay, honey?"

Liam put on a fake smile, he knew his mom didn't have much time before her first surgery.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I got to go get a costume, I'll see you in the morning then," Liam said quickly getting up.

"Okay, don't stay out too late," she called after him.

Liam got in his car and sighed. His mom didn't even realize kids his age didn't wear costumes anymore. He drove in the direction of Ryan's house in defeat. It's not like he didn't love his best friends and didn't want to go to the party, he was just hoping he could finish his college applications. Eventually, Liam found himself in front of the library instead. He didn't come here that often anymore. With Google, he didn't see the point. Today though, he was certainly glad that it was open. He made his way in and found a seat in the back. Liam wanted to write his essay on his connections with people. He hoped Lexi didn't mind. He was secretly hoping she wasn't writing it on the same thing. He decided to call and ask.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lexi," Liam said when she answered.

He was getting a nasty look from the librarian, he assumed you weren't supposed to call people in the library.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Are you busy?" he asked. "I'm at the library working on my college applications, do you want to work on them together?"

Lexi took awhile to respond. "I haven't really started," she finally admitted.

"I could help you get started if you want?" he offered.

"Okay, I can be at the library in like ten minutes, I just finished in therapy."

When Lexi got there, she and Liam moved to a private study room at the suggestion of the librarian. Liam figured she didn't want them interrupting the quietness of the main floor.

"So do you know where you're going to apply?" Liam asked.

Lexi shrugged. "I was just going to apply to the local college," she said resting her head on her hand.

Liam felt embarrassed. "Oh," he said softly.

"I could apply while I'm here," she explained.

Liam nodded. "You know some colleges give out full scholarships though, right?"

Lexi looked embarrassed now. "Not colleges nearby, I got to stay close to home, for my dad."

Liam felt like an idiot. "Right, of course."

"Seriously Liam, it's cool," Lexi said reassuring him. "What are you working on?"

"My essay," he answered. "I was really inspired by what you wrote about soulmates. I was going to talk about that."

Lexi blushed.

"You don't mind if I talk about it right?" he asked.

Lexi shook her head.

Liam smiled. "Thanks, Lexi."

Liam began to write the essay on his laptop while Lexi used the laptop he had given her. He glanced over and it looked like she was paying bills. When Liam had finished, he passed his laptop to Lexi so she could read it. He was so nervous as she read it. He had written about the one thing he had never really talked about before: his relationships with people. His weak relationship with his parents, his superficial relationships at school, his complicated relationship with Rachel, and even his new relationship with Lexi. He explained why they were that way and how it made him who he was.

"I think it's good," Lexi said, handing the laptop back.

"Really? You like it?" he asked.

She nodded. "Nice to see I made a cameo," she said, smiling softly.

Liam scratched the back of his head nervously. "Do you think I should just submit it now? I mean some of the college deadlines are tomorrow."

Lexi shrugged. "I don't really know, but I guess it couldn't hurt."

Liam nodded and began to finish the application.

"What are you planning on majoring in?" Lexi asked curiously.

"I think I want to do pre-med," he said shyly.

He expected Lexi to judge him but she just nodded. "That makes sense, you're really caring, you would make a good doctor."

"Thanks," he said as his cheeks turned red.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"Duke is my first choice, although I really like Boston University, and Rachel always wanted us to go to NYU together," he said.

The thought of Rachel made his heart ache, he missed her. Liam didn't understand, when he was with her, all he did was point out her faults, but now that he hadn't been with her in so long, he longed for her. Why were relationships so complicated?

"How's your application going?" Liam asked to change the subject.

Lexi shrugged. "It literally asked like two things, they said they'll email me the rest of the stuff."

Liam wanted to encourage her to apply to more well recognized schools. However it also felt wrong to do it, it came from a place of privilege, it made Liam feel bad. Here he was, able to apply anywhere he wanted when she clearly couldn't.

"Okay, I'm going to submit it," he said finally.

He pressed submit and relief washed over him. He put the laptop away and glanced back over at Lexi.

"Got any plans tonight?" Liam asked.

Lexi gave him a funny look. "I thought you'd be going to Ryan's Halloween party."

"Are you going?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Ryan invited me, but I also heard Austin is supplying tonight's drug fun."

"Oh, so you're not going to go?"

"I don't think so, I'm kind of avoiding Austin at all costs right now."

Liam nodded, if he accidentally walked in on his ex's drug meeting, he would do anything to avoid them too.

"All right, well thanks for being here for me, I really appreciate it."

Lexi nodded. "Anytime, I better get going though, I have to make sure my dad eats," she sighed. "I think he's getting worse."

Liam nodded sadly, it couldn't have been easy but even he knew now there wasn't much to be done anymore. "Let me know if I can help."

Lexi nodded and left. Liam left soon after and drove to Ryan's house. By the time he arrived, the party had already started. Liam made his way in and was met with cheers.

"Our basketball star," one guy called.

"Let's go, Liam!" another yelled.

Liam smiled at everyone but quickly left the living room. He found Josh and Ryan in the kitchen.

"Hey," he said to both of them.

"Hey Liam," Josh said, offering him a drink. "I was beginning to wonder where you were."

Liam talked and laughed with his friends for a while, until he saw Rachel out of the corner of his eye. She looked gorgeous as always. Her blonde hair was in soft curls and she was wearing a beautiful dress she had made herself. Liam knew because he was with her when she made it.

She caught him looking at her and stared back at him. Eventually, he walked over and the two stood together away from her friends.

"Are you done avoiding me?" she asked hopefully.

Liam studied her expression for a moment. "I'm not going to keep dating someone who pretends to be someone they aren't."

She frowned, Liam had clearly upset her. "Like you're so perfect, Liam."

"What does that mean?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Really? You think slumming it with Cross makes you some kind of hero?" she questioned with a hand on her hip. "News flash Liam: you have flaws too."

"I never said I didn't," Liam argued back.

"Well it seems like you pick on me for every single one of my faults, but no one else calls you out on yours."

"I didn't say you couldn't," he said, starting to get angry at the altercation now.

"Okay, let me be the first then," she said sharply. "You don't communicate, you don't know how to talk to people about how you really feel so you keep it all in and pretend everything is fine when it's not because you're a people pleaser."

Liam took a step back from her in silence. He had no idea Rachel had realized that.

Her eyes were watering a bit now. "You think that no one gets you, but I do. You just don't want to open up to me."

"That's not true," Liam mumbled.

"You know what, Liam?" she said, looking away now. "Why don't you find me when you're ready to tell me how you really feel."

Liam didn't say anything as Rachel angrily stormed away. He didn't have the right to be as upset as he was. He had done the same thing to Rachel at the dance. Liam stormed out of the house though, he needed to get away from the stupid party. He practically slammed the sliding door behind him as he tried to calm down outside.

Liam wasn't mad that Rachel had said what she had. He was mad that she was right. Liam was just about to leave for his car when he heard quiet angry voices.

"You had one job, Maeve."

Maeve? Who was she talking to? Liam moved closer to the side of the house and found Austin and Maeve in an argument.

"How the hell was I supposed to know you would be there?" Maeve questioned.

He frowned, what was Maeve doing hanging out with Austin?

Austin ran his hands through his hair. "Just keep her away from me," he said finally. He handed her a tiny bag of pills and then angrily stormed away.

Liam quickly left as well, what had he just witnessed?