Lexi
October 1st, 2016 | 1:30 am
"Lex."
No one called her Lex, it used to drive her crazy as a child. Her full name was Alexandra Cross, so Lexi was already a shortened nickname for her. She did not see why anyone would need to shorten her name even more, yet Austin called her Lex anyway. She had been annoyed at first, but much like Austin himself, it grew on her fast and deeply.
He was the only person allowed to call her that, for a year, one perfect year Austin would call her Lex and it made her feel special. Sure she had hated it at first, but it meant something to her that her boyfriend was the only person who could call her that. It was a symbol of how much love they had for each other. Now that name did nothing but hurt her.
Lexi hadn't even changed out of the outfit she had at one point been so proud of. She came home, walked past her father who was still staring at the broken television and flopped on the bed. She had not moved since. Lexi stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours as she replayed the events of the party over and over again. As much as she tried, she just couldn't get the sound of Austin calling her Lex out of her head, it played in her head on repeat.
As much as she tried to move on and forget Austin, she couldn't. How could she? He was everywhere she went, she tried to go to school and he would be there, she tried to dance with someone else and he punched them, and on top of it all, he had called her Lex. If Austin had moved on and didn't care for her anymore why would he call her Lex? That was his nickname for her, that was their "couple" thing. Why would he call her that?
Lexi wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, but she knew she was dreaming when she started reminiscing about one of the dates Austin had taken her on. Life had been so different back then. At the beginning of their relationship, before all the drugs and chaos had ensued, they were happy. Austin had always made Lexi smile like no one else could. Especially back then when she felt like she had lost it all, Austin was her one source of happiness.
When Austin had taken her to the county fair that day, Lexi knew she would see people from school. Everyone wanted to know what had gone down with Lexi's parents a few weeks prior, but she refused to talk about it. Lexi never talked about what had happened to her parents, it was too hard. It was strictly off-limits and most people kept it that way. Occasionally someone would bring it up and one menacing look from Austin and they would back off. He never once made her talk about it although Lexi suspected that he had wanted to. It was one of the many things that she loved about him, he never once made her uncomfortable. He knew her limits and supported her in a way even her parents never could.
So at the fair that day, Austin kept her away from all of their classmates, he took her on rides, distracted her, and made sure no one mentioned it to her. That was the day Lexi realized she loved Austin. Even though they had been dating for only a few weeks, she knew she loved him. Lexi longed for his soft touch. The way he knew when she was anxious and would rub his thumb across the back of her hand. What had happened to the man she loved so much?
Lexi shouldn't have spent so much time thinking about Austin, she woke even more upset than she had been that night. She changed out of her outfit and into more comfortable clothes. Something she probably should have done last night. She went into the kitchen and found her father trying to plug in a hot glue gun. Lexi stared at him bewildered by her father. What was he doing?
"Do you need help?" she asked gently.
He stared at her for a while then looked back at the hot glue gun.
"Cold," he managed to say.
Lexi looked down at the glue gun and then at the plug that was not in the outlet but jammed into the wall next to the outlet. She was not sure what her father wanted to do with the glue or where he had even gotten it from, but she nodded and plugged it in the socket. He watched her plug it in and then stared at the gun waiting for it to warm.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
He looked up at her. Lexi immediately realized she had asked too much. His mouth moved as if he was trying to respond but his upper lip quivered and the frustration was clear.
"Sorry, never mind."
Lexi quickly left the room and sat back down on her bed. She shouldn't have asked that. Now she felt bad. Lexi looked around for her phone. She had heard it go off earlier but had been too entrenched in her thoughts about Austin to go check it. She found it under some clothes and looked at the text.
Are you okay?
Lexi was surprised to hear from Liam. She wasn't really sure why he was still acting so kind to her or how he got her phone number. He had said he was treating her how he would have wanted to be treated but Lexi couldn't quite understand that.
She knew he had a girlfriend so he clearly wasn't interested in her in that way which was good because Lexi couldn't handle another relationship right now. Whatever the reason, Lexi was grateful, she needed a distraction right now. Normally, when Lexi felt like this, she got high, she needed to do something to make that feeling go away.
I'm okay, are you busy? We could hang out if you're free?
Lexi heard back within a few minutes:
Rachel and I are cleaning up my place, want to come help?
Lexi quickly replied, she grabbed the first shoes she could find and left the house as soon as possible. She needed a distraction before she resorted to getting high. She only hoped Rachel didn't mind.