Phoebe
For the last couple of months, Jess had been going to dance lessons every monday and wednesday with Ellie! She's been having an absolute blast and she comes home every time so so happy and non stop moving and grooving for Carter and I. The last few weeks, they've been practicing for a show and I was so overjoyed and excited to go and see it. Carter, Alex and I all got front row tickets ready to watch them and I genuinely was buzzing. The girls had been with each other every night practicing their duet and Jess even had a solo which Ellie had been helping her with.
Ellie had more dance experience than Jess but they still loved it all the same. Whilst Ellie had been dancing her whole life, even studying it at college, Jess has been doing it on and off for years and actually dropped out at college- simply because the theory was too much- she was a beautiful dancer.
"Girls!" I shouted into the garden, putting their dinners on the table. They were in the garden rehearsing as the show was tomorrow night!
"It's dinner time!" I announced, walking out of the door. They carried on, oblivious to me so I watched, curious. They hadn't let me see the dance yet, purely because they wanted it to be a surprise but I couldn't help myself watching now. When the music ended and they finished in their positions, I began clapping. Both heads snapped round to me and whislt Ellie smiled, Jess frowned and huffed.
"You saw it mama!" She groaned, getting up off her knees and coming over to me.
"Just the last 10 seconds princess," I defended myself.
"No!! I told you not watch it at alllll," she whimpered, throwing her head back and walking past me in a strop.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I was coming to tell you its dinner time," I said, wrapping my arms around her as Ellie joined us.
"Dinosaurs!" Jess and Ellie instantly cheered, charging into the kitchen. They loved their turkey dinos! I followed, smiling widely at their cuteness and was very grateful that Jess had moved on. To be honest, ever since she started the dance classes, her moods had improved ten fold. her depressive episodes were a lot less frequent and she wasn't as low. As well, in herregressed state, she'd been a lot more chirpier and more toddler-age and even when she's big, she feels comfortable.
Once dinner was over, we said goodbye to Ellie as Alex came to pick her up and headed upstairs for a bath! We had to travel for the show a little so in the morning, we were taking Ellie over to the hotel where the show is hosted and letting them do all of their rehearsals whilst Carter and I hung around town for the day and then that night, Alex is meeting us before the show and afterwards, we were all going out for dinner before heading home the next day! Carter had specifically booked the time off work and I was so grateful, he proved his love for Jess everyday.
"Mammmmma," Jess whined as she put her hands all over me. I giggled and grabbed her hands, wrapping her small ones in mine and kissing the ends of her fingers.
"What my love?" I smirked, leaning down and pulling a funny face. She giggled and tried to move away, knowing what was coming but I quickly attacked her face in kisses and showered in my love. She squealed and wiggled under me but I kept hold of her, showing her I loved her in every way I could.
I ended my love fest with a quick lick of the bridge of her nose before getting up and checking the temperature of the water.
"MAMA!" she squealed before jumping on my back.
Eventually, she was all ready for bed with her hair in tight braids for tomorrow's show and her snuggly pjs. She'd gotten all cozy under her covers whilst drinking her bottle and I read her a story- a story of a beautiful ballerina.
"Goodnight my princess," I whispered, kissing her lips gently before leaving her room. She was already asleep. I left her door open slightly and left the landing light on so she wasn't scared before heading downstairs to get mine and Carter's dinner ready!
the next morning!
"Elllllie!" Jess cheered as Ellie clambered into our car. She had her bag with her and I could instantly tell she wasn't regressed. Jess was. Not too far, but far enough to not be independant and it was a little bit concerning. I think it was the nerves of the day, she'd never performed for people before. However, she had so so much support around her. The dance company as worked with disabled adults before so on the occasions Jess has slipped, they've been very accomodating to her needs so I had everything crossed that they'll be the same today.
"Morning sweetheart," Ellie replied, leaning over the seat and kissing Jess on the nose. Jess giggled and coiled into herself before staring out of the window. Carter and I greeted Ellie, made sure she was belted up before heading off the hotel- it was about an hours and a half drive.
"What time is Alex meeting us?" Carter asked her, after a while.
"It should be about 430. He's aiming to finish work for 3 and he's going to head straight there," she replied. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"The show starts at 445."
"I know," she whispered, rolling her eyes.
"He likes to cut it close, doesn't he?" Carter asked. I sent him a side glance before checking on Ellie in the back through my mirror. She just shrugged sadly and sighed.
"It is what it is. I told him to be there and I suppose, if he doesn't end up coming then it's £25 he's wasted on a seat." She whispered. I sighed. I felt so bad for her. Alex had been really distant lately and Ellie seemed to be at ours even more than usual.
"Well, we're there to support you either way," I said, sending her a smile. She smiled back slightly and went on her phone. Jess whined, wanting her attention so she turned it to her. Smiling genuinely at Jess's little face.
"Right, you call us if you need anything at all, okay?" I said to Jess, kissing her nose.
"Yes mama, I gotted it!" she confirmed, nodding her head a lot.
"Alright, bobble head." Carter laughed, patting her head. "Mama and I love you, we'll be back to watch the show later." Jess giggled and threw her arms around him as I stood up. I smiled and she moved on to hug me. Ellie stood beside us, nervously. Once Jess got off me, I pulled her into a hug too.
"You're gonna do great okay? I love you," I whispered to her. She nodded and wrapped her arms tighter around me.
"I love you too," she mumbled. I let her go and she stood back.
"Come on Ellls," Jess cheered, getting her bag, grabbing Ellie's hand and dragging her into the crowd of the other dancers. I'd already spoken to their teacher and she said she'd keep an eye on little Jess for me and honestly, I had no concerns about Jess really- it was Ellie I was more woried about.
Carter and I hung about town for a few hours, going in a few shops and taking cute pictures by the water. We began heading back to the hotel for four, to get our seats and meet Alex. However, we had a gut feeling, there was going to be an empty seat. Carter slid his hand into mine on the walk.
"Would you ever move out here?" He asked, curiously. This town was stunning. It had old, victorian buildings and the classic architecture was still there. The roads were cobbles and the shops were very authentic and sweet. There seemed to be a real sense of community too!
"I would yeah," I sighed.
"There's a but coming," he teased, nudging me slightly.
I giggled and looked at him, "It's expensive."
"You wouldn't have to worry about that when I marry you," he smirked, turning away. My heart sped up a little and I smiled, genuinely. I'd love to make him my husband one day!
The seats were already filling up when we got there and I was getting so excited. There was a pre-show buzz in the air and I loved it.
"No sign of Alex," Carter mumbled in my ear as we sat in our seats, front row. I looked around, searching the crowds and it was true. I ucikly texted him, asking if he was close.
"Pheebs," Carter said, after a few minutes of comfortable silence between us. He nudged me so I looked at him, curious and he nodded towards the curtain. From our seat we could see backstage slightly and there my princess was waving excitedly. I giggled and waved back, she squealed, stood on her tiptoes and clapped before turning around. She scurried away. I smiled and shook my head.
The show began at 445 on the dot and the seat next to me stayed empty. It was the whole dance school performing and Jess and Ellie's duo wasn't on until nearer the end and Jess' solo was second to last! I was so excited to see her! Excited to see them both.
The girls were announced and they began stepping onto stage in a very dancy way, I smiled wide, unable to hold it back. Jess was smiling too, Ellie was trying to but as her eyes washed over us and the empty seat, I saw sadness just envelope her. The least Alex could have done was texted us! The girls danced beautifully and it brought tears to my eyes. Jess was a lot better than I remembered and she was just so emotive. Ellie though, was fantastic. Her moves were so light and she left a lingering emotion in the air. As they finished, both of them beamed and looked at us as Carter and I stood up to clap. They giggled, bowed and scurried off stage holding hands.
Just as Jess' solo was announced, Ellie jumped into the spare seat, scaring me.
"You were amazing," I giggled, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek.
"Thank you," she giggled back and snuggled into me. I kept her in my arms as my baby moved on the stage. Her solo was more jazz whilst their duo was lyrical. She really moved and her facial expressions said a lot! I suppose the sass in her was necessary for things like this! She kept on going, all the way to the end and she stood there, in her final pose, getting back her breath and smiling wide. Carter, Ellie and I all gave her a standing ovation as she bowed and ran off stage. I was so proud of her. And of Ellie.
The show finished and Ellie went back stage to get her things. We agreed to meet the girls at the front entrance. Alex had finally replied.
'I'm so sorry, I got couaght up at work. Is it over?'
"Of course he got caught up, douche bag," Carter mumbled, after reading over my shoulder. "I'm really starting to not like him. Ellie went out there and frickin smashed it and he has the audactity to blame his absense on work. He's no caregiver, I tell you that now Phoebe. Next time I see him, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind because a brilliant little girl like Ellie deserves so much more than a moron who couldn't give two shits," he ranted. Just as he finished, Ellie and Jess emerged from behind him, Ellie with tears in her eyes and Jess high on life.
"I did it mama!" Jess cheered happily, jumping into my arms. I couldn't help but smile, catching her and praising her in everyway I could think of.
"You both did so amazing and you both deserve the best meal out ever!" I cheered back, glancing at Ellie. She was scuffing her feet on the ground, bag and coat falling off her shoulders. They still had their costumes on. Ellie's was her first costume, a pretty blue dress whilst Jess' was her solo costume, pants with a sparkly shirt and jewellery. Carter wrapped an arm around Ellie's shoulders and pulled her close into his side, just as she began to properly cry and my heart broke. Jess looked over at her from my arms and sighed. She turned to me with a pout.
"Her daddy is stupid," she mumbled.
"I know darling," I replied back.
"He texted her saying he'd definitely be there and he wasn't. He texted her saying he set off at 3 but he still wasn't here. She got her hopes up and he crushed them and it's not fair an I don't like him," she explained. I sighed and held Jess tighter before turning to the car.
"Let's go get in the car, where its warmer and we can discuss next steps," I said, more to Carter. He nodded and before I even had change to acknowledge, scooped Ellie into his arms, carrying her as I was carrying Jess. He even, as if trying not to let us see, kissed her on the side of the head and Ellie put her head on his shoulder.
Jess looked over and then at me, smirking. "Carter should be her daddy, and you her mummy," she whispered, so quitely. I looked at her, questioning with my eyes. Really? Should we?
Part 2?