Carter
I sighed and flipped off my alarm. It was 8am on the weekend but I needed to be up. It was Jess' birthday today and she was at home with Phoebe right now. However, Pheebs is bringing her over here at around 10am. I had two hours to get everything ready for her. We've decided to throw a small party for her and her little friends and then tomorrow we are doing a big girl get together with family and friends.
She has quite a few little friends as she attended a group with Phoebe once a week. She absolutely adores going! Both of them really do. Phoebe has offered to take me but I've been a little scared. You see, this wasn't the first time being a daddy but it was the first time doing it properly. My last little one was sexual and I tried to do it with her when she was small but it made me sick to the stomach. I told her I didn't want to do it sexually and she broke it off with me. I then found Phoebe and she just happened to have a little. I was nervous going into it- not really knowing what to expect but Phoebe and Jess both made me feel so welcome and loved it was lovely. I'm hoping the party today where I can meet the other Caregivers with Phoebe and Jess there in the comfort of my own home helps ease my anxiety with taking her to her group. I want to do it and strengthen that bond but it was nerve racking nonetheless.
I made myself a protein shake, let Ray and Forest out in the garden and began cleaning up. My house was quite clean already- having Jess around regularly meant it had to be. I washed the dishes from the night before and then put all the plates and things outside ready for later.
I then got to work setting up the banners, balloons and other decorations. We had ordered big helium balloons. One set were the letters of her name, the other was a big dinosaur balloon and then a big one saying happy birthday. We didn't get her any numbers because it would be inaccurate. Her big girl self was turning 22 but her little age fluctuated so much it was almost impossible to identify how old she would feel today. Plus, this morning she could feel older in headspace but by night, feel a lot smaller. We had '22' balloons for tomorrow when we do the other big girl party but for now, it was the dinosaur and her name.
I had filled some of the balloons with confetti and set up the party games, music, the present table (which was already pretty much full from me and Phoebe) and then made some comfy cushion areas for them to sit as well as set up the BBQ and tables for them to eat at. The weather was lovely therefore the party was in the garden and I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that the dogs behave.
Just as I picked up my phone to check the time, I heard the dogs barking and the excited squeal of my little one. I watched as she came crashing through the house and straight into the garden- shoes on and all. She jumped up into my arms just in time for me to catch her safely and gave me a big hug.
"Hello my little birthday girl," I giggled, rubbed her back and gave her cheek a big kiss. She giggled, whispered a thank you and got down. She was wearing a dinosaur t-shirt with a denim playsuit over the top. I could see the outline of her nappy under it too. Phoebe had braided her hair and she just looked oh so cute. She ran into the middle of the garden and did a big twirl to look around and smiled happily. She jumped and squeaked seeing the balloons and all the presents and the wide smile on her face didn't falter once.
"Wow, it looks lovely," I heard Phoebe say as her hand connected with my back. I smiled, wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug.
"Thanks my lovely. How are you?" I asked, kissing her gently.
"I'm good. Tired but I'll live," she giggled and nuzzled her nose into my neck. I held her tight and kissed her head.
"Didn't you sleep well?"
"I would have if the little monkey over there wasn't up all night crying for me."
"Why? Is she okay?"
"She's fine now. I think teh anxiety got a bit much for her. You know what she can be like," she sighed and looked over to Jess who was sitting in the comfy corner I'd made holding one of her teddies I'd brought down. She had laid down and was talking to them but she looked quite tired.
"I see. Are you both in need of a nap?" I giggled.
"Muchly but we've got a party to entertain so," Phoebe shrugged. I could tell she was tired just by looking at her and I desperately wanted to take them both to bed and cuddle them until they fell asleep but Phoebe was right- guests were going to be arriving any minute and I didn't want to do it on my own. Plus, if the person the party is for isn't there but sleeping- what's the point of the party? I kissed Phoebe's cheek just as the doorbell went off. Jess' little puppy ears pricked up and she was up as fast as a lightning bolt. I cringed at the shoes through my house but I guess there wasn't much I could do. Phoebe sighed tiredly and looked over at where Jess had gone. I pouted.
"Go sit down baby, i'll sort it," I whispered, kissed her one last time and followed Jess through the house.
Phoebe
Don't get me wrong, I loved Jess to bits- I always will. I'll always make myself available for her mental health but I was exhausted. My period had come last night so on top of no sleep, I felt drained anyway. It filled me warmth seeing her so excited for today- she's been wanting a little party for ever and I've just never been able to afford it as well as a big girl party and we've never really had anywhere to do it as Jess hates people in our house. So now Carter was here and the opportunity arose I couldn't help myself. However, I just wanted to sleep. I know Jess did too because she was falling asleep in the car but I couldn't call the party off. I'm beyond grateful to have Carter with me today- if I didn't then I didn't know how patient I could be. I knew though that he felt nervous about meeting all the other littles and caregivers and I wanted to be there for him. Yet my legs were aching, my eyes were heavy and my head was banging. I'd taken so many tablets to get rid of it but it hadn't worked. I just need to get today over with.
A few minutes after Carter had left me, he returned with Jess, her little friend Matty and his caregiver Joshua. Josh smiled widely at me and I smiled and waved to him. Matty waved at me too but Jess had already dragged him off to play. Carter and Josh came to sit by me and Carter wrapped his hand around my waist, holding me close. He could see my exhaustion, I recon everyone could.
Half an hour later, the party was in full swing. We had the music on, not too loud but loud enough and about eleven giggling littles all playing on the grass. I loved Jess' little friends. They were all so different and individual but all came together and bonded over this. They were, however, mainly younger. The youngest little we had was 17 and the oldest was 30 but I didn't mind. Their little ages ranged a lot more than that though and there were some really awesome but bigger personalities. Whereas my Jess was friendly but gentle when she was little, one of her bestest friends, Grace, was louder, bossier and a lot brattier. She was also bigger than Jess size wise but they got along like a house on fire. If anyone ever messed with Jess- they'd have to go through Grace first. Ellie made up their little trio. Ellie had been friends with Jess since high school and they were very similar. Ellie was ballsier and able to speak up more but I think that came down to the fact she's always been loved whereas the trauma Jess surfaced with Paige damaged her self esteem and therefore her ability to speak up for herself and defend herself. Not that it mattered greatly, Grace and Ellie had been nothing but there for my Jess for years now and I couldn't be more grateful.
Then there were the boys. The little boys. They were so wholesome and loving it was incredible to see. In this group, we only had four (compared to the seven girls) but they still loved it. Matty, Alec and Fredie were super close but they were also the trouble makers when they wanted to be. They also loved to warp my Jess into their games and pull her in with bribes. Jess' more masculine side got along with the boys so easily and she loved them to bits. Everyone did. Fredie was like the male version of Grace, the pack leader and always so loud but you loved him for it- you had to. Hannah, Cecily, Nia and Mia were the other littles. Nia and Mia, sharing the same caregiver were stuck to the hip constantly, they tended to keep to themselves but they were still so friendly and talkative when you got chatting to them. Hannah was more isolated, being the newest one to the group but the others took her in with open arms- as expected. However, she was yet to warm up properly and come out of her shell. I spoke to her caregiver, Beau, quite a bit and she told me that Hannah was new to the whole little thing anyway which explained the reluctance. Jess tried her hardest to get her involved and begged me to make sure I tell Hannah she was welcome to come over whenever she wanted and she was always encouraging her to play. I think it was because, when Jess and I first joined the group, Jess was very reserved and quiet and tended to stay by my side. If it wasn't for her knowing Ellie already, she probably wouldn't have stuck it out. Hannah had begun warming up though and I could see her personality shining through, she was like Ellie I think- a little fire starter and loved to have the last say. Her laugh was the cutest too. Then we had Cecily, gorgeous little Cecily. She was the youngest in big age and also the youngest in little age too. Like Jess, she had two caregivers and from what I've gathered, talking to them, she's been severely abused in childhood and early teenage years. She was quiet, small and always at the back of the group but still so accepted. Ellie really took to Cecily when she joined us and I think it's because she really had a little crush. She was a beauty so I don't blame her. Cecily loved talking to other people though. She often came over to me at the group if I was alone and sat by my side. We'd talk for ages and her little voice was just the most adorable thing- after Jess's of course.
Suddenly, Jess banged into me and hastily climbed onto my knee, buried her head firmly into my neck. She began crying too. I gasped, in shock, and wrapped my arms tightly around her and rocked us.
"What's the matter baby?" I asked, worried. Just then Ellie came running over too. That's when Grace got up and hit Alec square in the face. We all gasped, Cecily began sobbing and crawled over to her caregivers. Despite Alec's sudden bleeding nose, he got up and went to hit Grace back. However, Carter's strong arms secured around him and pulled him back.
"I don't think so, big man," I heard him say. Alec's caregiver had gotten up, along with Grace's and they were rushing over to the end of the garden where it had happened. Jess carried on crying into my neck and Cecily's caregivers came over with Cecily in their arms. Ellie looked around worriedly for Alex but he'd gone to the bathroom so I called her over to me. Hannah had come over too, along with Fredie and Matty who were holding hands. The sisters came over next and slumped into their caregivers looking awfully sad.
"What happened?" Beau asked noone in particular.
"A-alec was being mean to Jess an-an and Grace told him to stop but he didn't s so so when Jess weft upset Grace hitted him," Fredie explained sadly. His caregiver, Taylor pulled him onto her lap and held him.
"What was Alec saying?" Joshua, Matty's caregiver asked.
"Dat Jess spoiwt bwat," Ellie huffed and crossed her arms. I pouted and wrapped one arm around Ellie and then kept a tight grip on my baby too. She didn't need this at her birthday party! It had only just started. "See not a split bwat ad awll!" Ellie exclaimed, huffing again. Just then, Alex came back out looking more confused than ever.
"Daddy! Awec was mean again! To Jwess. Daddy cwan woo beeve he cwalled hwer a split bwat!An on hwer birfdway?!" Ellie glared. She got up and walked over to Alex then raised her arms. Alex giggled a little, as we all did and then held her close.
"I can't believe that no baby," Alex whispered to Ellie.
"Wewll woo sould cus it's twue. Isn't is twue evweybwody?" Ellie asked, looking around. All the littles nodded but Jess just moved closer to me, whimpering. I wrapped both arms around her tightly and kept on rocking her. I looked over to Grace, Alec, their caregivers and Carter. Carter had some tissues, holding Alec's nose and they were both being given a stern word. I sighed, tiredly and out of annoyance, and stood up with Jess. I walked us into the house and went up to her little bedroom. She didn't need to be around it all right now, especially since her tears wouldn't calm down.
I sat us on her rocking chair and got her into a gentle cradle position. She clung to me but I began rocking us and trying to stop her from crying.
"You're okay my princess," I whispered and held her close to my chest. I ran my thumb over her cheek, wiping her falling tears and let my lips linger on her forehead.
"It isn't true. It really isn't, baby. What Alec said was mean and horrible but Mummy's told you not to listen to mean and horrible people hasn't she?" I muttered, still rocking us. I got a slight nod from that. She hiccuped a little and snuggled closer to me.
"I know baby, I've got you," I reassured, pulling her closer to me.
"Dwaddy?" she whimpered softly and brought her fingers to her mouth. I looked around quickly for a paci and saw one in arms reach. It was her favourite one. I put it on her lips and she began sucking it softly.
"Daddy's downstairs sorting out Alec my love, you don't worry about that now." She huffed at that but shut her eyes and snuggled closer into me anyway.
"My precious angel, you are," I whispered, more to myself as I admired her. Her cheeks were red and wet with tears but I tell you something, she definitely made crying look gracious. Her paci moved in a gentle rhythm and her chest rose up and down. Her braids had come loose slightly over time so her baby hairs were escaping, making tiny black wisps along her forehead. Her eyelashes fluttered like fairy wings and she sighed. "Hm, my most beautiful baby." She smiled slightly behind her paci and snuggled in closer to me, turning her head into my chest. I moved the baby hairs from her face and held her close, tapping on her bottom gently. I was glad I'd put her in a nappy today as her pull up would have leaked by now.
Carter
I was beyond shocked at the behaviour of Grace and Alec but I suppose I wasn't one to judge. Phoebe had taken Jess upstairs, as I'd been told, and now I had the job of entertaining them all. Geff, Alec's caregiver had taken him home on suspicion his nose was broken but he told Alec multiple times that he had no sympathy as he had provoked it. Grace had been given a very stern word about keeping her hands to herself and she slumped against her mummy now. I heard a mutter of more severe punishment at home and her mummy had asked if I wanted Grace to go but I said no, I didn't want to ruin Jess' day more by making her best friend leave. Ellie was worried about Jess and refusing to play the games I'd set up but I didn't blame her. If I could, I would be up there now with her but I had to make sure the party went okay. The rest of the littles, seeming somewhat settled now, were more than happy to play and be distracted. Cecily was playing with one of her caregivers but I didn't mind. I'd asked Alex to man the BBQ as that was what I was doing beforehand and he was more than happy to help. I'm hoping once food gets handed out and everyone is sat down I can head upstairs to check on Jess.
"Right, you all know how musical statues works. Are we ready?" I asked excitedly, hand on the play button. I got a series of nods from the little ones and excited smiles which made my heart swoon. Littles were the cutest thing in existence. I began playing the game with them but was lenient on who went out and when. It was fun seeing them all.
Ten minutes later, I saw Alex finishing up on the BBQ and told them all to get a seat at the table. They all sat with their caregivers, apart from Ellie who was slumped against the patio doors refusing to move. Alex encouraged her to come get some food but she wouldn't. She was a stubborn minx but then again, she loved Jess and was worried.
"I'll take her up to check on the girls with me. That's what she wants. Is that okay?" I said to Alex as he put some burgers on the buns. He nodded.
"Yeah that's all good! I'll save some food for you all. Thanks mate," he said, smiling.
"Alright." I walked up to the house and held my hand out for Ellie.
"Come on then, let's go make sure everything is okay."
She took my hand quickly and rushed us through the house. I giggled at her eagerness.
"You don't even know where they'll be," I giggled as she carried on dragging me. She stopped, looked at me seriously and said, "Jess gave me a house tour on facetime. I presume she's in her little woom. Come onnnnn," she huffed then and dragged me more. I smiled widely and let her drag me up to the little room.
She pushed open the door and stopped, smiling. I looked in and saw Jess and Phoebe asleep in the rocking chair. I giggled a little and whispered in Ellie's ear to go back downstairs and she nodded.
"Be nice to her," she mumbled teasingly and hurried away. I smiled and walked in further. I wasn't surprised they had fallen asleep. I looked at Phoebe first, the way her hair fell over her eyes and her freckles contrasted her pale skin. And her flushed, sleeping cheeks made her look innocent and tired. I kissed her head and looked at Jess. Her eyes were still shimmering slightly with tears and her cheeks were sticky but she looked so cute and peaceful. Her favourite paci was falling from her mouth as she had opened it and her hand was a fist on Phoebe's t-shirt. I giggled and lifted her away from Phoebe and into my arms.
She whimpered and wiggled but when realising it was me, settled back down. She put her paci back in her mouth.
"Princess, you need to wake up. Your party is downstairs," I mumbled to her.
"Pwarty?" she whimpered.
"Mhmm, your birthday party!" I giggled and tickled her sides gently.
"We go nwow?"
"Yeah! It's downstairs and everyone is eating food and then it's cake time!"
"Oh daddy! We got go nwow!" She wiggled from my arms and ran to her bedroom door. I heard a sleepy Phoebe laugh from the rocking chair as Jess shot out of the room. I looked at her and she walked to me.
"Let's hope the rest of the party can go without any more surprises," she mumbled and snuggled into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her head, once, twice and three times.