Chapter 12

It’s hard to sleep in when the lovely couple are laughing and having a tickle war two doors away from mine, and I know it’s a tickle war because Lisa is screaming “Stop Tickling Me” and “I have to get ready!” The bedroom order is mine, Angelia’s, Lisa and Blake’s, and Holly’s. I’m sure everyone else is awake. The older you are, the earlier you go to bed, and the earlier you wake up. Not calling Caleb old, but he wakes up at six in the morning every morning. Whether it’s for work or for waking me up for school with hot coffee ready to be served. Caleb and Mom would occasionally have tickle wars too, but I think they knew better than to be loud enough to wake me up.

I check my phone.

Realizing it’s seven forty five in the morning and that Blake and Lisa are due at the altar until eleven, I groan, crawl out of bed, and stomp to Blake and Lisa’s room. Caleb records the tickle war and smiles at their childlike manner and then glances at me. That grabs the happy couple’s attention. I cross my arms and glare at the both of them.

“You do realize that you have a two week honeymoon, starting tonight, right?” I ask, sarcasm heavy in my voice.

“When you’re older and you fall in love, you’ll understand, I promise,” Blake says.

“Understand what exactly? Tickle wars? Because I’ve objected to plenty of Caleb and Mom’s.”

Caleb sighs. “How much I miss you objecting to the tickle wars your mother and I had.”

“They were easy to object to, Caleb,”

Blake scoffs. “Not just tickle wars, Danny, but how they symbolize what you feel for the person you’re tickling. It’s… It’s art, kid. And you-”

“You know what? I think you guys can be forgiven for the early tickle war and forcing me to wake up early if you can manage to keep that last thought to yourself,” I gag and turn around, trudging down the stairs to get my coffee so I can mentally prepare for this crazy day of happiness, tears, and the color white. Oh, and the dancing at the reception party. I have to be ready to socialize.

I don’t even reach the staircase when Angelia shouts something about me and Kayiah. Caleb drops his phone and then rushes to pick it up, aware that me being in loveisn’t worth breaking his phone over. Lisa claps in amusement. Blake doesn’t even respond. Not physically anyways. I clear my throat, yell that she’s crazy and that I don’t know what she’s talking about, and actually get down the stairs to get my coffee.

I walk to my coffee pot and Holly is sitting on the counter, eating an apple. I mumble a “good morning” and turn my coffee machine on. She smiles and tosses an apple at me. I thank her and fill the coffee machine filter with some warm water and put it back in it’s place. Biting into my apple, I get all of the ingredients out of the cabinets and fridge for coffee and place my bowl of fruit on the counter. Lisa got me this last night. Says unless I’m not coming to the reception, I need to eat enough of this to hold me over until the “I Do’s”. Afterwards, we’re coming straight home and then we’ll have a bunch of food at the wedding reception tonight.

“Are they still having a tickle war?” Holly asks.

I nod. “Did they wake up you up too?”

She shakes her head. “No, I woke up because I couldn’t sleep. I had a nightmare about my real mom and Daddy.”

The coffee machine goes off. I nod my head for her to continue as I place the crushed coffee beans in the filter and press “START” on the top of the machine. It starts brewing. I rub my eyes and make eye contact with Holly again. There’s fear in her eyes.

“Sorry… You were saying? About your nightmare?”

“Oh. Yes. About my real mom and Daddy. They already hate each other enough as it is. In my dream, my mom broke in and killed Daddy, Angelia, Lisa… and you. And then she blamed her reasonings on me because I didn’t stay with her when Daddy took me. I was a baby. Is it really my fault?”

“Of course not. Holly, I’m going to tell you something…. “Growing up, my dad said some very hurtful things to me. Sometimes what he said plays through my mind. I have a lot of nightmares about him. I think dreams are just the mind’s way of trying to cope. It sounds odd, but that’s what I’ve been hearing a lot. I always thought he was abusive because of me. I blamed myself for years. I still do at times, but I’m learning a lesson I don’t want you to learn the hard way, Holly.”

Using the word “Dad” to describe tastes like poison. Poison might actually taste better.

“And that is?”

“Things happen that… hurt you a lot. Some people might tell you it’s your fault and that you’re worthless, ugly, fat, or an idiot. In fact, people tell you that. They might tell you that your entire life, but if you let them convince you that it is your fault, you could spend years believing that and wanting to cry over it. I spent my entire life afraid of people because of something my dad did. Not everyone is like that, but at the same time, not everyone is a nice person either. For instance, Jared isn’t a nice person, is he?” Holly shakes her head. “But is Blake a nice person?’ She nods her head and smiles. “See? I consider myself a good person although there’s someone else out there that’s kinder than I am. I know that for a fact.”

“So you don’t want me to take responsibility?” That’s a big word for a five year old. What are they teaching kids in preschool these days?

“No,” I exclaim. “No, of course not! That’s not what I’m saying at all. I want you to take responsibility. You should. It’s a part of being mature and eventually an adult, but if you know something isn’t your fault, then don’t let people tell you it is. Would you blame me if Lisa killed Blake?”

“That’s a good to start off the wedding day,” she sighs. “But no because it was her, not you. It wouldn’t be fair to you. Why?”

“Lisa said something similar to me when I was blaming myself for something I’m still trying to say isn’t my fault. It shows that we see it isn’t someone else’s fault, but when it comes to ourselves, we have a difficult time. Now that I look at it, for the most part, I know it wasn’t my fault and as you grow, you’ll see that your parents’ arguments have nothing to do with you. You’re a kid. You need to be one and not worry about what the adults are fighting about.”

She nods. “I’m not sure I can convince myself of that just yet... I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay and it’s understandable. I wasn’t either and I still have days. And you’re younger than me by nine, almost ten years, but I can help you... If you ever need to talk or just want me to tell you it’s not your fault, I will. Just like your dad does to me. Everyday, all day.” She jumps into my arms. I hold her and kiss the side of her head with a smile. “You mean a lot to me, Holly.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

I throw on my black jacket and groan at my reflection in the mirror. Angelia stands in the doorway, twirling in her knee length, straplessblue bridesmaid’s dress. The top of the dress is a darker shade of blue, and goes lighter the farther it goes all the way down to her knees. Her high heels match her hair, makeup, and even the dress perfectly. I can tell Angelia feels beautiful.

Her lips form a smile, but her mouth releases a squeal. “You look so handsome! Kamron and Kayiah just might fight over you!”

I glance back to the mirror. I reflect back as an emo fourteen year old who’s wearing a tux for the first time in his life. An all black tux to be exact. Gel in my hair. No bracelets and I’m jittery because of all the coffee I’ve had out and the fear of tripping while I’m walking Lisa down the aisle, but according to Lia, that’s attractive.

My brain and heart are at war right now. My brain claims she’s just being nice whereas my heart is telling me to accept myself as a beautiful human being and realize she may be telling the truth and that Kayiah and Kamron just might fight over me, and that if they do, I’m considered lucky and it will feel good until someone gets hurt.

I love how blunt my heart and brain and can both be when they’re at war with each other.

“I guess we’ll find out.”

Within the next hour, Lisa and Blake playfully argue over Blake seeing the dress on the way to Kamron’s. I mentally punch myself in the face, hoping something will hit me and knock me out. I’ve never seen this side of them before and I guess I hoped I never would because although romance is cute, it can also be annoying at times, and this happens to be one of the annoying times.

Kamron greets us in the front and pulls me to the back with her, excited for the wedding. Selena and Jayline yank Lisa away from Blake and drag her inside the house with Sam and Blake following behind her. The backyard is nicely decorated for a beautiful wedding, that’s assuming Blake and Lisa can act normal long enough.

A white curtain drapes over the altar spot where Blake and Lisa will say the I Do’s with flowers over the top of the curtain The carpet for the bride is white and goes from the altar to the staircase that leads to the backdoor, which is also covered in white. Grey, steel chairs are placed on both sides of the altar, six in each row, eleven rows. The right side for Lisa’s family and friends. The right side for Blake’s family and friends. I think the whole idea of an aisle that goes straight down and separates two families is stupid. The idea of a wedding should be to unite the family and help them get to know one another. That won’t be tolerated at my wedding. No matter what the bride says.

Words echo my mind. I can feel myself falling into a pit of depression with black tar. No way out.

Those words are all too familiar. They should be. They were my father’s words after the first three times he let that woman rape me. They never really left my mind. Sometimes they just scream at me louder than they would other times. I guess today’s one of the bad days. Of all days to cause misery, today, a happy occasion, a wedding day is the what my mind chooses to cause pain.

Kamron plays with the flowers in a basket and sighs. “Are you okay Danny?”

“I’m fine,” I say.

She doesn’t look very convinced. “Do I need to know about something? You’re not yourself today.”

I sigh, look down and clear my throat harshly. “Um, I never really told anyone this, but my dad was really arrested for hitting my mom and letting some woman rape me, as in having full knowledge. In fact, he watched in amusement the whole time,” I say bluntly.

She covers her mouth and leans into my chest. I wrap an arm around her. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“No,” she says as she breaks away from me. “That’s an awful thing to have to live with your entire life… That’s why you felt so afraid,” she gasps. She’s talking as if she’s had personal experience. God, I hope not. “And flashbacks. It’s terrible. And then the voices that tell it was your fault. I was here when Blake told me Angelia was raped. I wanted to kill the guy the people that did-” She stops and continues after a brief moment of silence. “It was Elimination, wasn’t it?”

When I don’t answer, she repeats the question. I sigh and nod my head. “My dad is in the Elimination,” I whisper.

“That’s how Jared knew... “

As I nod, I remember the status Jared wrote about me being raped. It just makes perfect sense.

If he’s telling the truth, which I believe he is, then my dad would have told him things about me and how it’s likely I moved. Kristian could have known I was his sadistic leader’s son and targeted me because he was told to. It’s not written in their creepy book of rules, but it’s not uncommon for younger members of The Elimination to push kids toward suicide just to kill them without actually harming them.Physically anyway. It’s possible that’s what Kristian was aiming for.

Jayden and Jayla run to Kamron and I, out of breath. They clearly ran a long way to be out of breath, and not from their house since they literally live a block down. Twelve houses are on one block.

“Dear lord, I need to exercise,” Jayla gasps and sits on the staircase. “Danny, um, Jared is standing out front and wants to talk to you. Said our parents wouldn’t appreciate him being here with a wedding going on.”

“You ran from the front yard?”

Jayden raises his green, plastic water bottle and chugs it. “No, we just came back from a run. We ran two miles. Jayla’s… whiny. That’s why we’re out of breath, but he says he really needs to talk to you.”

“Like right now? As in it can’t wait.”

“It probably could wait, but Jared’s a bit of a drama queen,” Jayden shrugs.

I start to walk away.Kristian’s sitting by the curb with some papers and what looks to be an ancient scroll or his contract with my dad and The Elimination. I clear my throat. He turns around and admires the suit for a moment, and then hands me the papers and scroll. I open it and realize it has all of Andrew’s information on it. Even the fact that he’s no longer in Finland.

“He moved?”

“His adopted family probably forced it, but he moved to Ireland. Supposedly, they caught onto what was happening and wanted to move to a country that was safer for him.”

“And Ireland is safer?”

“There are certain countries that believe in executing members of The Elimination, and Ireland happens to be one of them. My reason for coming here is to tell you that my ‘parents’ are trying to force me back into the awards.” He stands up straight. “I know it’s uncommon, but even though they’re not my real family, they do care about my future. At least a little bit. They hate this as much as I do, but they have families to protect too. If they can’t give the best to their family, they think they can at least give it to me. Safely, of course.”

I’m in a similar situation with Kristian. Although I’m not with The Elimination in any way and wouldn’t want to be, I can relate to how Jared feels. I’m not Blake’s real kid nor Lisa’s, but they’re fighting to give me a future brighter than my past ever was.

“I guess I see how.”

“Anyways, in case it doesn’t work, would you make sure Andrew is okay?”

I take a deep breath. “I’ll do my best.”

He beams with joyful tears. “Thank you so much! And I’m really sorry.”

“The past is the past.”

I walk away, but not before Kristian can grab my arm. I turn around and politely smile, biting my tongue to not demand to be let go. He lets go. “You may not believe it now, but you are the crystal of the country. Never forget that.”

Two and a half months ago in Seattle, I was an outcast. A nobody. Now I’m finding out from Kristian and even strangers on the internet and shoppers at Walmart that I’m some kind of hope to stop The Elimination. I still think it’s backwards that people honestly believe a fourteen year old with depression and anxiety issues could stop anything aside from my heart which can stop in an instant. It’s all overwhelming for me. The only thing I’ll be stopping is my ability to breath because the pressure is pushing against my chest, making breathing an Olympic sport.

Kamron peeps her head out the window and waves me over. I run to the house and ask Kamron what she wanted. She says Lisa’s ready to be married and admired by Blake and I, and leads me up the steel staircase, around a corner, straight to a master bedroom. Lilly fixes Lisa’s veil and steps down, admiring her final touches. Lisa spins in her dress and gasps, touching her ruffles.

“It’s amazing, ladies. Oh, Danny, what do you think? Do you like it?”

After looking at the dress for a moment, I answer. “It’s a shame the groom isn’t allowed to see until you two meet at the altar,” I whisper. I can tell Selena’s holding back a sarcastic remark. Lisa places a hand over her heart and hugs me tightly.

“Thank you for walking me down the aisle.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“Alright, ladies. Go to your positions now,” the planner Hailey says as he claps her hands and heads outside to tell everyone else the same thing. Lisa’s friend, Victoria, Angelia, Sia, Selena, Jayline, Kamron and Lilly rush out of the room, leaving Lisa and I alone. She steps off the silver platform.

When we get downstairs and peep out the backdoor, everyone is in their assigned positions. Thebridesmaids, groomsmen, and the minister. Before we stand on the stairs and wait for our signal, I hand Lisa her wedding bouquets of different shades of pink. The Wedding March song and Holly skips down the aisle, throwing her light and dark pink rose petals on both sides of the altar.

That’s my cue to walk Lisa down the aisle. I wrap my arm under and through hers like a pretzel and start to walk her down the aisle. Blake stares at Lisa with great admiration. Pure love in his eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul and that window is crystal clear. I’m so happy for these two. I know they make each other happy. Sure, they’ll have their petty arguments and up and downs, but overall, they are a great match. Blake treats her like a princess and that’s exactly what she deserves.

Holly stops and stands behind Jayline, her maid of honor, and in front of Angelia, Victoria, and Kamron’s sister, Sia. All of the ladies on Lisa’s side, aside from Lisa, are all wearing blue gowns that reach her feet, except Angelia. Her grown stops right above her knees. On the other side stands Blake, Sam is the best man, Kyle, Aiken, and Rory, a close friend of Blake’s. They’re all wearing a black tux with a silk blue tie. They all look amazing.

Lisa kisses me on my cheek when I release her Blake and smiles brightly at him and the minister, Francis. He clears his throat. “Thank you all, friends, family, and even neighbors, for going to such great lengths to be here to celebrate the joining of Blake Neil Ryan and Lisa Rosanna Carter. This is a big day for all of us. Being able to marry each other means the world to them, and to me. I want both of them to be happy. The purpose of marriage is to unite two people who have matured in their love for each other and who are ready to be happy together. That’s what God had intended. Love is kind, gentle, and patient. Not jealous. Love looks for the interests of others and endures and believes all things. True love never fails.”

There’s a gleam in his eyes that symbolizes he believes what he’s saying. Same with his tone of voice. It’s rare to find ministers that believe what they preach these days.

“Marriage is a sacred bond that must be protected and valued by both parties. The couple both have heavy responsibilities. The husband is to love his wife as he loves himself for this marriage symbolizes them becoming one flesh. The wife shall have deep respect for her husband and love him as he will love her. Both parties have the responsibility of remaining loving, patient, and faithful to one another.”They aren’t saying their vows yet and I’m already tearing up. “Now our couple have vows they want to share with each other.”

Blake and Lisa turn slightly and hold each other’s hand, love in all four eyes. My heart puffs up with joy. Lisa has tears in her eyes. “Blake, you are my best friend. And I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you. I promise to respect you and the differences we have, to cherish you, love you in sickness and in health, to support your dreams for the rest of our lives together.”

Tear trickles down my cheeks like rain in a gutter. Kamron hands me a tissue and lightly wipes her tears away, careful not to ruin her mascara.

I can tell Blake has to hold back from tearing up as well. “Lisa, today, I promise you that I will laugh with you in times of joy, comfort you in times of sorrow, and care for you in times of illness. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive towards your goals. Together… we will build a home filled with love and laughter. Let us be friends, partners, and lovers, today, tomorrow, and all of the days all that follow until death separates us.”

“May we have the rings, please?” Minister Francis asks.

Anthony steps forward to bring the rings to Lisa and Blake then steps back into his position once they have them and Lisa thanks him. Blake takes Lisa’s single diamond wedding ring first and holds it. “I, Blake Ryan, give you, Lisa Carter this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.” He slides it on her finger and it fits her perfectly.

Lisa holds Blake’s ring and slides it on his finger while saying her part: “I, Lisa Carter, give you, Blake Ryan, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.”

Minister Francis smiles and clears his throat. “Now, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Lisa’s veil is lifted up and pushed to the back of her head, and Blake leans over and kisses her, softly but passionately. Everyone applauds before they even think about pulling their lips away, but when they do, Minister Francis stands straighter.

“I present to you the newly married couple, Blake and Lisa Ryan,” he says as we continue to clap. Holly throws more petals in the air over the now married couple.

An hour after the wedding reception starts, Sam taps on the microphone on the stage to get everyone’s attention with a glass of red wine in his left hand. Everyone else went home after the I Do’s to change into something more comfortable. Except Kayiah. She’s perfectly fine getting cake on and tripping over her long purple dress she wore to the wedding ceremony.

“I’m Sam Anderson, the best man, for those of you who don’t know me. I’ve known Blake for a long time. Since high school. I would like to thank all of you guys for your support of this special day. Especially, the host, Kyle Johnson, and both families for making this possible. And of course, the lovely wedding planner, Hailey West. This wedding and reception wouldn’t have happened without you guys, and I also want to thank all of you amazing guests for traveling long and far to come and celebrate. I know that gas is not cheap so we really appreciate it!”

I can hear half the audience shouting “Amen!” and clapping. He smiles and continues when she audience calms down. “Growing up in New Jersey with Blake gave birth to some crazy adventures. I remember the first time Blake saw Lisa outside the coffee shop. Kyle, Blake, and I were all sitting inside a coffee shop, plotting a plan to get out of doing our part for spring cleaning for Newark Central High. Didn’t work out too well by the way. We just made a bigger mess.” We all erupt into laughter. “Blake was falling head over heels for her. It was clear to us, but they didn’t date until years later. After the mother of his youngest child. It was an eternity to Blake.”

Lisa kisses Blake’s cheek and coos. “Aw, poor baby.”

Sam continues. “When Blake told me he wanted to marry her, he was scared of what she would say. The day he was going to do it, he was sweaty and shaky.”

I nudge him and snicker. “When you propose, you’ll understand, kid.”

I roll my eyes. “You’ll be waiting for a while.”

“When we met Lisa, she became a close friend. A sister to us, and like younger sister, they have to be protected. Lisa’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and a tad bit crazy, but those make the best friends, right?”

“Yes, sir!” Kamron and I yell. Lisa chuckles and pats my back.

“Thank you!” Sam chuckles heartily. “By the way, Lisa, you look beautiful tonight, and calm down, Blake. Remember what Francis said, Love is not jealous.”

Everyone laughs except Blake who blushes and crosses his arms with a grin on his face. Lisa kisses his cheek. I can hear him whisper, “I’m trying.”

“From the moment, Blake and Lisa started to date, I always hoped Blake could make the smart decision to marry you and call you his wife. And that happened. He did just that. That means I can say Blake made three smart choices in his entire lifetime. Now it is official. You are my sister. And I will always protect you and your family from anything harmful and bad. Consider me a security guard. You will never be rid of me.”

Aw. That’s so sweet. Same with me, and I’ll drive her to the point of praying that she can sell me in a few years. Perhaps Blake can teach me. I’ve heard stories from Angelia and Kayiah about how Blake drives Lisa crazy at times. True love.

“Congratulations you guys. I hope married life goes well.”

As he steps down, Lisa and Blake share a kiss. Kyle claps his hands for dinner and cake. Once again, Kayiah beats everyone else to the cake table. Angelia giggles.

“She loves cake.”

“I can see that,” I laugh. “It’s kind of cute.”

Kamron nudges me. “You’re in love with her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about it, Kamia.”

“Sure you don’t… Daniel.”

I roll my eyes. “I really don’t.”

“If you say so.”

The next three hours consist of eating, light drinking, and lots of dancing. And kissing for the bride of groom.

As the music plays, Lisa and Blake continue to dance under the fairy lights. Hailey and Kamron took the honor of decorating this ballroom. Kayiah stands next to me off to the side of the ballroom with two diet sodas and pushes one into my chest. Groaning, I thank her and accept the Diet Pepsi.

Selena’s serving as the bartender for the night. Of course Lisa insists on paying her, but Selena is stubborn and says that she’s doing for free and that if Lisa tries to give her a dime, she’ll spend her paycheck on shopping for Lisa. That shut her up.

“So you’re going to Australia tonight?”

“With my mom’s boyfriend, one of my best friends. He has two weeks off and wants to show me the RS building.”

“How coincidental.”

“I didn’t tell him about our conversation with Jared yet.”

Kayiah’s eyes widen. “What? Why not?”

“I’d rather not put Lisa and Blake in danger. Or Angelia and Holly. You heard Jared. And I know my dad. He’s selfish and unmerciful. I of all people would know.”

“Angelia has training. Ever since we was adopted from our building, she’s received training and benefits.”

“You don’t know my dad. He’s determined. He’ll never give up. He’s torturing Kristian because he couldn’t torture me long enough. Jared’s done this for three years. Since he was twelve.”

“And your dad tortured you for how long?”

“Two and a half years.”

She opens her can of Sprite and takes a sip. “What did your dad do to you that was so bad? Maybe he was confused about whatever he did and about you, and losing you hurt him, forcing him to do bad. Do you think he can be changed?”

I smile. “Yes, Kayiah. You’re right. He’s confused. Because every accessory to a rape is confused about what he’d doing,” I whisper. That shuts Kayiah up. I sigh and shake my head. I went too far with her. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“No. I needed to know because I never would have understood why you hate him so much.”

“I don’t hate him as much for that, but I do want him to pay for having my mother killed. He has to pay for that at the very least.”

“What goes around comes around.”