Chapter 4

I’m not denying that Blake might be an all around nice guy because he might be. I don’t know. The problem isn’t as much him as it is me. I just want to protect myself from getting hurt again. And Caleb knows that too. That’s why he’s taken it upon himself to slightly threaten or as he puts it, “interview” Blake to make sure he knows that trust isn’t easy with me and that he better not abuse that or me, like that will make things any better. I probably won’t leave my bedroom enough for him to have a chance to hurt me.

Lisa just sits around and watches and I, from the corner of the staircase, facepalm myself, hoping he would stop. It makes me look weak and like I can’t handle myself. Okay, let’s be honest, I probably can’t, but he doesn’t need to know that. Not yet anyways.

“Now I want you to know, Danny is my pride and joy. And if you happen to hurt him in way, I will kill you.”

I lightly peep from around the corner and watch Blake nod in agreement. “Is there something else I need to know about?”

Caleb takes a deep breath. His face turns red in anger. He’s about to talk about my father and he hates him. I’m talking if they were fist fight between the two, Dad would be dead and we would be see Caleb in prison. He is sweet and awesome, but if he hates you or you hurt someone he cares about, well, run. That’s all I can say.

“Danny is… afraid of you, and it’s not that you did anything. It’s what he went through as a little boy, and I just want to protect him from that,” Caleb says.

“Remember how Angelia was raped and abused? Lisa asks. Blake nods slowly. “Well, Danny was too. Except it was my brother, his own father that… allowed a friend of his to do that to him. Ever since, he’s always been afraid of certain people. Then he’s bullied at school. That along with the memories of the incident have caused him to isolate himself and he’s depressed. Has been for years. We’ve tried to help him, but we couldn’t access any support with mental health professionals.”

“To him, he’s battling this alone,” Caleb says in agreement with Lisa’s words. “You have to be prepared to assure him that he isn’t. He constantly thinks everything is his fault. Do you know how to deal with that?”

Blake nods. “I have a daughter that’s like that, and I’ve been doing this for a while. Making children see how special they are, it’s what I do. To my daughters, kids I met in the Newark RS building, and now Danny. Now that I think about it, I’ve been doing this since high school.”

That’s a long time to tell people that they deserve better than starving and cutting. How does anyone have the patience for that. I’m questioning that about my mom and Caleb.

“And you’re in the Newark building, right?”

“Yep. I do construction on certain days, and sometimes my manager will give me days off to assist some kids who are dealing with anxiety, depression or are afraid of The Elimination.”

Caleb nods. “That’s awesome. I really respect you for that. My older brother never understood why I do this, but knowing I can change someone’s life brings me satisfaction true happiness.”

“Same. It’s really a rewarding experience,” Blake says. “Now you wanted to know about our home and neighborhood.” Caleb nods. “Well, we have a fairly…. Large home. What Lisa had in mind is Danny will have his own room and Lisa and I will decide if he needs his own bathroom later. I don’t think it’s urgent right now.”

Caleb sighs. “He has a self harm problem. You can decide what measures you want to take, but since he’ll be under your roof, you should know.”

Lisa nods her head, but doesn’t say anything. I lean my head against the wall and sigh deeply, but quiet enough so they don’t hear me. Caleb calls me down to the kitchen and asks Lisa and Blake to follow her. I wait a few minutes before I move from my spot, my phone clutched in my hands. Caleb calls me once more as I’m heading down the stairs.

Before he calls me a third time, I walk in the kitchen and am hugged by Lisa. I smile and notice Blake standing behind her with bright blue eyes and Rapunzel level blonde hair. Not long, but just really blonde. No wonder Lisa fell for him. She’s always had a think for blued eyed guys. Says it shows beauty and kindness.

I don’t know.

I don’t pay attention to legends, theories, or traits about personalities or eyes. I don’t even know what my zodiac sign is, but if his eyes mean something, so do mine because mine, according to Lisa and Mom, are ice blue. They might look cold and “beautiful”, but I have a quirky personality. Oh, that’s one thing I know. My personality type. INFP. Introvert. Intuitive. Feeling. Perceiving. I think we all have our different types that we’re attracted to.

Caleb unplugs my coffee machine and wraps the cord around it as he warns Blake and Lisa about my eating issues and not to lose the coffee machine under any given circumstances. As they laugh and agree it is important, he smiles and places the coffee machine in a bag.

As Lisa pulls away, Blake smiles., “You must Danny. I’ve heard… a lot about you.”

You know, I have a daughter that’s a about a year older than you.” I glance at Caleb who has his back turned and then back at Blake.

“What’s her name?” I ask softly.

“Angelia Paige. Here, I’ll call her inside for you.”

When Blake comes back, he holds a little girl in his arms and another girl hugs me. I nearly freeze. The girl hugging me has quite the grip, long, bright blonde hair, light blue eyes, and nerd glasses. Shows her geeky side. She has on a bit of makeup, but she’s not drenched in it, and has on a sweater and leggings for crying out loud. That tells me she isn’t always so focused on the latest trends. Although she is geeky, in a good way. I’ll give her that.

The little girl Blake is holding in his arms has long hair too. Not as long as her sister’s since she’s, like, five, but her hair is not short either.

“These are my daughters, Danny. My youngest, Holly, and the oldest, Angelia.”

Angelia finally lets go and smiles, her dimples exposed. “It’s awesome to meet you, Daniel.”

“Danny,” I say.

“My bad,” she says and then sighs. “Um, I’m sorry about your mom.”

I nod awkwardly and look to the floor as if what I’m supposed to say next is written in front of my feet. I look up and Holly is hugging me.

“Nice to meet you, Danny.” I pick up Holly and hold her. She’s surprisingly light. Of course, she isn’t that big, but if she’s five, she’s small for her age. She has the body of a three year old. Because she’s sweet and a little small, I’m not afraid of her. Angelia? She just startled me. I wasn’t expecting her to squeeze the life out of me. Blake? Slightly. I think it’s my trust issues and memories of my Dad and Maura.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Holly. She’s so tiny,” I whisper the last part to Lisa.

“Yeah, that’s what her doctor says. We think it’s a family history thing, but the doctor demands to run tests on her to figure out the problem. It shouldn’t be a nutrition thing because all she eats is fruit, and a lot of it,” she sighs. “Oh, my. She eats fruits and you’re a vegetarian. Looks like I’ll be buying double the amount now.”

“You’re a vegetarian?” Blake asks. I nod slowly. “You’re brave. I would cry as I eat. I couldn’t do it. If you were seventeen, I’d buy you a drink for that. You’re the only teenager I know that’s a vegetarian.”

“Thank you…?” I’m not exactly sure of how to take that last part so I just nod.

Later Lisa, Blake, Holly, and Caleb decide to run somewhere. Kamron and I use that opportunity to start packing. I try to assure her that I can do my own packing, but she’s stubborn and insists she doesn’t mind. Angelia starts to pack up my technology, but gets confused by all the cords. I tell her I’ll handle that and ask her to box up the pictures and books on the nightstand and bookshelf by the window. Ian and Lilly giggle and whisper by the doorway and it makes me feel uncomfortable almost instantly.

It’s not them. I know they’re not trash talking me and definitely not in my own bedroom, but because of all the bullying I face at school each day, I’ll always be paranoid and believe people are talking about me. And Ian is no exception. I’ve known him for a couple of years and I still become paranoid about him sometimes. No wonder I told Kamron off at that party. I can’t even trust a close friend I’ve known for years. How will I ever trust Kamron and Lilly, two girls I met not even a week ago? Or better yet, Angelia or Holly, the girls I just met roughly forty minutes ago? It took me years to trust Caleb and Ian and I still have doubts about Ian sometimes, but it took me longer to trust Caleb then it did Ian, so I guess in some messed up way, it’s only fair. Rarely do I ever have doubts about Caleb now.

We manage to wrap up the packing under an hour. By that point, Caleb is back with tacos and some salads. I’m surprised to see two salads and baffles me because I know Caleb knows I won’t eat more than half of one salad, let alone two whole salads.

After Angelia takes a salad, I feel a wave of relief wash over me. I take my sweet time eating not even half of my salad. The sooner I eat, the sooner the goodbyes come, and the harder my chest pounds in my chest.

And about twenty minutes later, I realize how right I am as Caleb hugs me. “I’m going to miss you, Danny.”

“I’m going to miss you too, Caleb.” I softly sigh.

When Caleb pulls away, a tear trickles down his cheek, but his lips form a gentle smile. He slowly turns to face Blake.

I notice Ian standing by the van and can’t help but run towards him and give him a big hug. He lightly moves a hand up and down on my back. “I’m going to miss you too, buddy. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“I will.”

As soon as the difficult goodbyes are over, Angelia, Holly, Lisa and I pile into the van and wait for Blake for start the car. The farther we move away from the house,larger knots in my stomach begin to form, making me feel nauseous. I deeply sigh place in an earbud in one ear, and tapping a song.

Twenty minutes of a heart attack had passed and my heart still isn’t any closer to relaxing in any way. A train guard asks for a name. Blake gives him what I’m assuming is Blake’s last name.

Ryan.

The guards types it on a laptop hooked up to a phone and nods with a small slip and smile to Blake before he thanks the man and drives off.

We have to drop off the car at the Train District area, so it can be transported to the train station in Central Newark.

Trains were renamed Wrains. If you look at the name closely, you’ll realize that trains can now go underwater. The newer advancements make it possible for the Wrains to travel at four hundred miles an hour, depending on how many people are riding it and the distance between your departure area and your destination.

They were originally built as a refuge for anyone who was out and about during a bomb attack and we’ve had plenty of those, especially in Washington, and really close to Seattle. Later, other nations, because of our alliances with their governments and leaders, followed our example with building Wrains in case of emergencies, but now they’ve become such a huge part of our everyday lives, you’d think it was life sized cell phone with unlimited internet and text or a car. I don’t think there’s a single nation in North America or Europe that doesn’t have a Wrain. If they’re don’t, they’re in the process of building it.

Blake stops the car and looks at me through the rear view mirror. “Danny, it’s a two hour and forty minute ride. Do you want anything from the trunk?” My voice barely above a whisper, I ask for my Macbook. He pops the trunk. “Alright, I’ll meet you guys on the train.

Angelia beats me out of the car, and hands me my Macbook along with the Macbook charger. I spot my phone charger and manage to grab it before Angelia closes the trunk. Lisa lightly tugs on my arm, pulling me from behind the car, so Blake can pull off and drive to the other District area. This really reminds me of an airport. An advanced airport. I’ve seen one of those in Italy. They have a plane the size of Europe and put vehicles in the back, but the prices for that would convince you that you’re buying six universities and a mansion. Totally worth the money, but it takes pricey to a whole new level.

We wait for Blake on the train and sit in the back once he arrives and gives a man some cash. I immediately open my Macbook and turn on a movie. Holly peeks at my Macbook and beams.

“Can I watch?!”

I shrug. “Why not?”

Towards the middle of the movie, Kamron asks if I’m thirsty. Nodding my head, I lean towards the side, and reach for a dollar from my black wallet, but am cut off by Kamron clearing her throat. I lift my head to find she has her wallet out and pause the movie, sensing another debate. Holly doesn’t need to see this part anyways.

“Um, what do you think you’re doing, Daniel?”

Lisa shoots her head towards us and that grabs Blake’s attention.. “How else am I going to get a Diet Pepsi, Kamia…?”

She rolls her eyes. I am so enjoying this small advantage I do have. Her name, of course. “By letting me pay for it. Duh!” she says with a peppy tone of voice.

“See, this is why I told you off at the party.”

Lilly takes a sip of her coke. “Keep that separate, kid. We have another hour and twenty minutes. It’ll give you guys something else to fight about later. It’s rather entertaining.”

She’s probably right. Even I’m entertained by our pettiness. Can’t imagine how amused everyone else is. Now that I think about it, we’re being stared at by everyone on this wrain. Some are looking at us with rapid attention. They’re thinking one of two things. We’re crazy or we’re hilarious. Or three. Both. One guy is cheering me on, saying a woman shouldn’t ever pay a man’s drink. I give a thumbs up and turn back to Kamron who rolls her eyes.

“Swallow your pride and let me pay for it. It’s only a dollar twenty-five.”

“I can pay for my own drink. What are you thinking? Paying for a man’s drink...”

“Calm down. You’re fourteen.” I glare.

Holly leanstowards Blake and giggles. “This is the first time I’ve seen two people fight over paying for something.”

Blake nods. Lilly and Angelia both laugh, convincing Kamron and I to face them and Lisa who holds up two bottles of Diet Soda: Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke. We hadn’t noticed. We had been too busy fighting over paying for soda that we probably don’t need anyways.

Our jaws drop.

“Lisa!” I whine. “If you pay for me all the time, I’ll never learn to be responsible!”

Lisa laughs and slaps her thigh. “That might have worked with your mother and even Caleb, but you know I’m not falling for that, Danny. Angelia will be the first to tell you that if you believe that, the next couple of years with us will be very, very long.

She nods and sighs. “I’ve been trying for years. Just let them. It’s easier than fighting them about it. They wouldn’t let me buy my own car or pay for insurance.”

“What for? You’re paying for gas,” Blake says. “We’re not totally irresponsible.”

“Whatever you say, Daddy,” She mumbles.

Accepting my defeat and the Diet Pepsi I didn’t pay for, I go back to my movie and wrap it up thirty minutes before we’re due to stop in Newark.

When we finally reach the house, Angelia yanks me out of the car and pulls me up the stairs, towards a large door before I can object. I gently pull my arm away from her and smile so she doesn’t think I hate her or something. She clears her throat before opening the door. I’m just blown away by the contents of my room. It’s slightly larger than my other bedroom in Seattle, but in it’s own way, it’s simple too. Not as luxurious like my bedroom at home and it could always be worse. It does have a large bed below and then inches away from a clear glass chandelier, two doors leading outside to a balcony with a beautiful view of the backyard and forest. The closet door is clear and crystal with a tablet attached to the wall next to the door. What’s really impressive is that my stuff from Seattle is already in here and before we even got here.

“This is your room, Danny.”

“Thanks,” I say.

“You’re welcome.” She hugs me, causing me to freeze up again. “I’m really excited to get to know you.”

Not trying to be rude, but being raped and remembering it can make you a little rude sometimes.

Angelia pulls away and slowly walks out towards her own bedroom. I slowly make my way to the bottom of the staircase where Blake holds up my closed Macbook, charger, and phone that I probably dropped when Angelia yanked my arm with a smile. Blake asks if I’m hungry and says he’s in the festive mood to make a full course meal. I politely decline and head back upstairs with my stuff.

After spending at least thirty minutes on my bed with my Macbook and the photo of Mom, Caleb, and I, Kamron knocks on the open door with her phone in hand. I smile and wait for her to come inside, but when she doesn’t, I lightly chuckle.

“Are you waiting for an invitation?”

“It’s only polite.” She laughs and then sits on my bed, a distance away from me. That makes me feel safe, but just someone else being on the same bed as me makes me kind of nervous. “Are you okay? You look kind of pale.”

“I-I’m fine,” I lie.

“Are you sure? You don’t look too good.”

“I just need some air,” I say as I start to walk towards the stairs.

I run downstairs, taking deep breaths. Lisa happens to be at the bottom. She takes one look at me and gently pulls me towards the living room and tells me to take deep breaths, asking me what’s wrong.

“It’s everything! Dad, moving here, bullies, school... Mom dying! It’s just so much to handle and then I have memories,” I whisper, choking on my tears. “I can’t do it!”

Lisa hugs me and softly sighs. “Danny, I know this is hard. It’s harder for me to see you like this and not being able to do anything. That’s the only thing your mother and I had in common: We both love you more than you can imagine and I want you to know that no one here is ever going to hurt you.”

“I want to believe that, but that requires a lot of faith and trust. I just don’t have it.”

“And I don’t expect you to have it. Especially after that night and the following years, but just know that I won’t let anything bad happen to you and if you ever need to talk, just come to me.” Lisa holds me and whispers words of comfort, gently moving a hand up and down on my back. “Just relax, baby. It’s okay.”

The next morning, I struggle to find motivation to get out of bed and decide to stay in bed. By the time I do manage to get myself out of bed, I have a headache from not drinking coffee, so I march directly downstairs. The sound of Angelia singing and Holly playing an electric guitar slowly approaches me as I come closer to the kitchen. Blake pours some coffee into a coffee mug and then smiles at me.

“I was wondering when you’d wake up. Are you hungry or can I make you some coffee or something?”

“No thank you. I can make my own coffee.”

I make my coffee, mix some Almond milk with it and head upstairs to drink it and shower for what feels like two hours. Then I get dressed and head back downstairs with my empty mug. My headache is definitely gone now, but It’s always nice to have another cup just in case.

After my shower, I run into Lisa downstairs as I’m coming off of the staircase. She’s holding up a blue hardcover book and a her red and blue coffee mug with an emoji on the front. I smile.

“Are you hungry? Something? Anything?” Her eyes look hopeful.

“I’ll eat something small. I’m not that hungry.”

“Good enough for me.”

She walks into the kitchen. I followbehind her. She hands me a small apple from the fruit bowl and takes my mug from me, making me some more coffee from my coffee machine. I bite into my apple and lean against the fridge until she needs to open it to grab the Almond milk.

By the time she’s done making my coffee, I’m done with my apple and throw the core away, thanking her for making my coffee. Lisa slowly nods and jumps up to see above the fridge a few times. Seconds later, a large book is placed in front of me. A photo album, I guess I should say. I glance at her and open the book as I sip on my coffee. The first photo I see is a photo of Lisa holding me at two years old in my gray beanie on my back porch in the house in Montana four years before we moved to Seattle. My eyes were glowing. I was so happy. No trouble. No responsibilities. No horrific memories. It was perfect.

“You were the cutest baby, Danny. I remember when you were three, you tried to save a transformer from drowning in your drain. It was so cute,” Lisa whines. “You had all of the adults at her feet by your cuteness factor. Like a king.”

I shrug, but let a small smile appear across my face as I turn the page. Another photo of me trying to eat some cake. The chocolate and red frosting is all over my face. My forehead, eyebrows, my neck, and under my fingernails. I remember that one. My fourth birthday. I had an Elmo cake. Perfect for creating messes. That’s the thing about being a baby. Everyone in the world knows what you did, what you ate, how you were as baby, all thanks to Facebook and Twitter, but you. It’s embarrassing at times.

“Oh,” I say with a small giggle. “That was a messy shower.”

“But it was so cute. I almost couldn’t take it. Your mother always said I would spoil you and she didn’t like it, but she couldn’t take your cuteness either and spoiled you rotten. And you ended up pretty good. Not too rude or cruel. Just what we both wanted for you,” she says.

I gasp playfully. “I’m rude?”

“Well, you’re sarcastic at times and it’s kind of the same thing depending on how stupid everyone else is.”

I laugh. “Sarcasm and coffee equal life.”

“You’re silly,” she says and messes up my hair.

I watch as Holly runs to hug a family of Latino descent with a huge smile. The man who I’m assuming is the head of the household picks Holly up and plants a gentle kiss on her forehead before he tickles her. Blake approaches the same family while Lisa nudges me towards the kids at the table beside the family Holly’s talking about being bullied to. Kamron spots me and flashes a smile as she sets a dish with steak down on the table. Seeing her here relaxes my nerves a little bit, but it doesn’t take away that Lisa is trying to make me be social.

“This is Lisa’s nephew, Danny.” Blake says, smiling at me. “Danny, this is my friend, Sam, and his wife, Selena.”

I nervously smile, my heart speeding up.

Selena coos. “He’s so adorable! Can I keep him, Lisa?”

Unsure of how to respond, I fake a smile. Aside from my mother and Caleb, I’m really not used to be complimented about my appearance, so when I am, I feel like I’m being lied.

Sam just laughs about how I look like Selena’s freaking me out. She hits him in his chest and he shuts up.

“I’d rather keep Danny and adopt Kamron,” Lisa says.

“What if I sell you my kids? Antonio goes to college next year,” Selena says with the smile of a sales person.

“He won’t live long enough,” Blake says. “And Orange isn’t my best color.”

A Mexican boy with great hair, I’m assuming one of Selena’s sons, approaches us with a smile. “Wow… Thanks, Blake.” He turns to me. “We’ve heard a lot about you, Danny. By the way, I’m Antonio, the boy who won’t live long enough to reach college.”

Blake snickers and suggests that he introduces me to the other kids. Then he covers my ears. Probably to talk about me, but doesn’t want me to hear. Whatever. It’s not like I’m not used to it. Caleb and Mom have done it for years.

He gently pulls me to the table where other kids sit, drink soda and play cards. I turn to Lisa who smiles. Her eyes tell me she believes they won’t hurt me. I want to believe that. but right now, it’s just too difficult.One side of me says he’s not going to hurt me. The other side of me is screaming to push him and run.

Kamron beams and hugs me. At first I flinch, but only slightly, so no one else notices. The kids smile at me and introduce themselves as Jayden, Anthony, someone else with great hair, and Mason. Of course, I already know Kamron and Lilly. They invite me to play cards and offer some Diet Soda. Kamron probably told them. I wouldn’t be surprised.

“Thanks,” I whisper.

“You’re welcome, man. Do you know how to play War and Garbage Can?” Anthony asks.I nod.

“I used to play War with my mom all the time. One of my favorites games.”

“Awesome! You know, I like how social you are. Most kids would be terrified of moving across the country and you don’t seem afraid at all.”

After two games of War and a game of Garbage Can, we’re called to the big tables for dinner. Before I can even walk the three foot distance between tables, Lisa pulls me a few few away from everyone else and reminds me that fruit is low in calorie, considered negative calorie foods, and that if I eat now, I won’t have to when we get home. I give Lisa a brief nod. She smiles and kisses my forehead, handing me a plate. I fill up half of the plate with fruits and vegetables; Enough to convince Lisa I don’t need to eat again later.

When Lisa smiles, glancing at me and my plate, I realize my attempts are working.

“So Danny, do you know if you want to go to Talent Hall? It’s amazing,” Jayden strikes up a conversation.

“Haven’t really thought about it. I always thought every school was the same.”

“There are those ‘normal’ schools,” Jayden says and then smiles. “And then there’s Talent Hall. The weirdest school you will ever know about. I swear, it’s- It gives you great experiences, but it’s so different and weird. I thought I was in a parallel universe my first day. My last school wasn’t like Talent Hall.”

“Talent Hall does have that effect on newcomers,” Anthony says. “You’ll love it.”

“You really will,” Lisa says. “I can show you what classes they offer. They definitely offer dancing though.”

I sigh. “And if I don’t like it…”

“You can always go to boring public school,” she says with a smirk.

My glare shows her the answer is simple: Whether I like it or not, I’m going to Talent Hall.