Chapter 9: Noah H

Love diaryWords: 3961

Friday, January 20th.

Dear Noah,

Get ready everyone because this storys kind of a weird start.

There I was, lonely and desperate for a boy to reach out to me, scrolling through my high schools followers list until I found someone attractive, and there you were....

Never have I called a guy hot before but that's what you are, you're so hot....a Brazilian Mexican mixed boy, with amazing style and

fluffy-Afro-like hair.

You were the one I was looking for, and so I gave you a follow, it took a few hours before you followed me back, but when you did, I had a small amount of excitement fill my stomach.

You have become my new hallway crush, that id never seen in the hallways before... I would always contemplate if I should message you or not, but then I had an idea.

Was it stupid? Yes, most definitely.

But it worked...

I remembered that I had a fake account, that looked fairly real with 100 followers, and all of them from our school.

So I logged into that account and made my move pretending to be a friend of mine...that didn't even exist.

"Do you have a GF?" I DM'd you from the account.

"Nah I don't got a girl" you say...

"This girl I know likes you..."

Gradually I made u believe my friend was doing me a favor by being a wingman situation, and so now you knew I actually existed and who I am and a little about me without ME doing the work..

Even tho I was.

You told "her" that you'd message me...but you didn't at first because you didn't have a reason, you wanted to message me with reason, which is understandable.

One day I saw you at school at the car pickup and fortunately there my friend Emily was standing right behind you.

So I purposely walked towards you  so you'd see me.

But I don't think you did cause you walked away as soon as I got there...or maybe it was purposely.

So I gave up on it.

After that I didn't see you for a couple days UNTIL one day...

You walked passed me, but I hid behind my phone, and as you passed I overheard you say

"No I only know her through Instagram." And your voice faded~

That's when I knew, you knew exactly who I was...and this idea might work.

(Now I know this might sound stalkish and creepy. But again, it worked)

But that night I went home and I went back on my phone and messaged you on my fake account.

And that's the night you finally messaged ME.

I got what I wanted, you messaging me first. And so now It was time to make my moves.

We'd talk everyday and then a month later I'd ask you out, and we'd go on a shopping date.

Which is smth I love

I was hoping you weren't going to end up on the list...but my gut was telling me otherwise.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but when u post on your storys instead of texting me...it just reminds me of every single boy I've ever talked too.

And I can't help but wonder Once again

What's wrong with me......what can I do to stop this from happening?

It's February 12th....2 days before Valentine's Day....

And you won't respond to my messages, and you've probably moved on to another girl, and I know exactly who she is...

Fabian's little sister, of all fucking people why...why...I know I can't compete with her...she's beautiful..

But I just wanted you so badly....

I'm not even upset that you left me, I'm more upset about the fact I CANT FUCKING LEAVE THE TALKING STAGE.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm hurt, I'm hurt that the fact I will never experience a high school romance.....and it's taken away from me FOREVER....

Here I am again, crying over a boy that never cared about me from the start....

Played with my feelings every day for 3 fucking months....

It hurts it hurts a lot because I gave a lot of faith into you...but I've come to my senses and I realized I don't need you, I don't need to put my energy into someone that doesn't give me the same energy back...I want someone that gives equally as much as I do them.

It's February 21st....and I finally just left you on seen and moved on.

So without a doubt I say~

goodbye Noah Hernandez

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