Chapter 55: CH 55

Alright, I won't go.

Translated by Dawn

Alright, I won’t go.

Ever since I could remember, I realized that my appearance was different from those around me.

Why? Because all eyes were on me.

There were various types of gazes, some that seem indifferent and some that make you uncomfortable.

I was the type that couldn’t help but be bothered by the uncomfortable stares, so I disliked drawing attention to my appearance which easily attracted it.

If only I had normal black eyes and black hair, then I could live quietly.

If only Dad wasn’t French… Well, I guess I was a terrible daughter. I’d accepted it now, though.

But if I was a terrible daughter, then Dad was a terrible father.

He was kind to me, though.

He used to fight a lot with Mom. It was because he was always cheating.

But the cause of the fights wasn’t solely on Dad.

Mom had her fair share of problems too. Like her extravagant spending.

From my perspective, I honestly didn’t care about the reasons.

—I don’t know who’s at fault, so I just be quiet.

I always thought that.

Eventually, I found a way to make Dad and Mom quiet.

Whenever I played the piano, they both listened to my performance.

Mom had aspirations of becoming a professional pianist, and Dad had a deep appreciation for classical music. I think they both respected music.

Gradually, I became engrossed in the piano.

But it wasn’t just me who became engrossed.

Mom started expecting results from me.

At that time, I was forced to quit the music school I was attending because my playing sounded “muddled”.

Since then, my mother took over as my instructor… and playing the piano became less enjoyable. I thought it was better to see them fighting, so I continued doing it.

However, the relationship between Dad and Mom had deteriorated to the point where my piano couldn’t bridge the gap anymore. In the end, Dad returned to France, and we stayed in Japan. Despite all the fights she had with Dad, now Mom wanted to go to France.

I found her troublesome.

But knowing that we share the same blood…

Anyway, for Dad, it was just going back to his hometown.

From Mom’s perspective, it was a temporary move. As for me… it was like a separation.

I suspected that Mom brought up my study abroad plans because she wanted to see Dad. If she went to France alone, Dad would just reject her, but if it was under the pretext of accompanying me for my studies, it was not as easy for him to refuse.

Well, that was how I played the piano all the time.

I honestly didn’t know if I could become a professional.

Or rather, did I even want to be one…

But at this point, I didn’t have anything else I wanted to do enough to quit the piano. It had become a habit, and I felt uneasy if I didn’t play.

So, from now on, I’d mostly do what my mother said.

Or rather, it had been ingrained in me to do so.

Even in the late-night runaways, it was the same.

If I truly had the intention to resist my mother, I could have confidently left the house during the day. Even though I was being watched by her, I should have been able to do it if I wanted to.

But I couldn’t.

Whenever I approached the front door, I would remember my mother’s command not to go out. Then, like a robot programmed with instructions, my legs would naturally come to a stop.

I think I’d been conditioned to be like that.

Resisting my mother would just tire me out in vain.

Therefore, while I was aware that I was causing trouble for Aizawa, I couldn’t think of any options other than meeting him late at night. “I’m sorry, Aizawa. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Apart from silently apologizing like that in my heart, I couldn’t do anything else.

On the day my mother found out about my late-night runaways, I was prepared for the end of my relationship with Aizawa. Even so, the moment when she told me, “Write a farewell letter to Aizawa-kun,” I openly resisted my mother for the first time.

Desperately, I pleaded that I didn’t want to write it.

I would do anything else.

I would swear that I wouldn’t have any further involvement with Aizawa.

But in the end, my mother didn’t accept my plea.

I couldn’t resist any further, and reluctantly, I wrote the letter according to her instructions.

However, as a small act of resistance, I put a message in the letter.

For me, it was a kind of gamble.

I didn’t know if Aizawa would notice it, and it was likely that he wouldn’t.

But if he did notice… something might happen.

A two-week trip to France was soon arranged.

Of course, my will had no influence in the matter.

It was all my mother’s decision.

She insisted that the purpose was to visit the university I was considering for my study abroad and to see Dad after a long time. However, that was only the official explanation. It was clear that the real intention was to separate Aizawa and me as much as possible during the summer vacation.

After misleading Aizawa with the letter about my feelings, the plan was to prevent us from meeting for the next two weeks, denying any opportunity to clarify the misunderstanding and naturally letting the relationship fade away. Unfortunately, it seemed that the plan would work out.

However, even I couldn’t believe my eyes—today, the day of my departure to France, Aizawa came to the airport.

Moreover, it was precisely when I was about to board the plane from the gate.

“…Why?”

At the moment I saw Aizawa, that murmured word slipped out unintentionally.

I didn’t even know what would follow after “why.”

Perhaps it was a murmured word containing various “whys.”

Why are you here now?

Why did you know I was here?

—When I wanted you to come, would you really come?

Come to think of it, it always seemed to be the case.

When I was being followed by Yamamoto, it was Aizawa who came to my rescue. After the recital, when my mother criticized my performance, it was Aizawa who stood up for me. And now, he was here in front of me.

I wondered if my murmured words reached Aizawa or not.

In any case, he slowly took a step closer to me.

“…This.”

Aizawa took out a piece of paper from his wallet.

It was the “One-time Request Ticket” that I had given him before.

Ah, he noticed the message… As soon as I saw that ticket, a warm sensation spread through my chest.

“What’s with this?”

I tried to maintain a calm demeanor as I asked, but my voice may have trembled slightly.

I hope Aizawa didn’t notice.

Aizawa asked in a calm voice, “Can I use it now?”

“Well, that’s fine… But there’s not much I can do at the moment.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t intend to ask for something impossible.”

After saying that, Aizawa hesitated for a moment before continuing.

“Mizutani, don’t go to France.”

The moment I heard those words, it felt like the chains that had bound me for so long had been released.

That’s right, this ticket was the “One-time Request Ticket.” I had to listen to what Aizawa said now. So even if it went against my mother’s wishes, there was no other choice, right?

“Alright, I won’t go.”

Before I realized it, I had given that response.