Chapter 51: Chapter Ten

ADA

“Ada!” The voice sounded closer. It was Sable. She was holding an empty bucket, and I was soaked with water. I must have passed out.

“Oh, thank goodness, you’re awake,” she said, helping me sit back up.

“You must keep going, the baby is almost here,” the midwife shouted. She directed Myrna and Sable to help me stand up and get into a squatting position. “Keep pushing!”

I closed my eyes and remembered Cayden’s words. I needed to stay strong for him. I needed to survive. Taking a deep breath, I pushed with all my might three more times.

On the last push, I felt myself beginning to cry. Before the midwife even said anything, I knew my baby had been delivered. The first sounds I heard from my child were euphoric.

“It is a boy! A very large, healthy boy.” She handed the baby to her apprentice, who began to clean him off. I felt more pressure as she pulled out the remains of the delivery.

“We are almost done,” the midwife said, guiding something out. “Okay, now you may clean her up.”

“I want to hold my child,” I said, weak but determined.

“The wet-nurse is on her way to feed the child,” Myrna assured me.

“I will nurse my own child,” I said, but the apprentice looked at the other woman, as if she did not know what to do. I shouted again, “Give the child to me!”

The apprentice walked over and handed me the baby. She helped me sit back on the bed and offered guidance with the feeding.

I looked at my son for the first time, wiping my falling tears off his sweet little face. I was overwhelmed with feeling in that moment—he looked so much like Cayden.

It was the most powerful love I had ever felt as all my pain melted away.

“Will you name him after the king?” Myrna asked, as this was a custom of the king’s daughter.

“No. After his father, Cayden. Cayden, son of Cayden. He must always know where he comes from.”

“Well, Cayden, son of Cayden. May you live a long and healthy life,” she said, patting my face with a cloth. I looked at her, happy that she had been here in my mother’s absence.

***

After about two weeks of recovery, I finally began to feel like myself again. It was customary in the kingdom that the mother would remain in her room until she regained her strength.

Visitors were not allowed to see the baby.

It was different than I was used to—I remembered how we often traveled to the houses of my mother’s friends to wish them well a few days after the birth, sometimes even hours.

The only people who came to my room were Myrna, Sable, and the usual servants. The two women were wonderful in helping me with the baby, whom I began to call Cay.

They respected the fact that I wished to do most of the caring on my own. During times when I was exhausted, I did not protest against their insistence that I sleep.

They were the only people in the castle I trusted to care for my son.

“If you are feeling up to it, the king wishes to visit you and the baby today,” Myrna said one morning. It was only the two of us in the room, and she looked for my reaction.

“I do not know…”

“At some point, you will have to return to the court. Otherwise, he will become suspicious, and the baby will be in greater danger then.”

“How do I know he will not kill us both?”

“He will not. You heard his words. He wishes to use you in making a truce with England. You are far too valuable to him right now.”

A knot formed in my stomach. “And my son?”

“He will not harm Cay. That is, as long as he believes you will go ungrudgingly.” She took Cay from me and began to gently pat his back.

“If you are to leave here, you will need to regain your strength. Your ~real~ strength. You will not accomplish that by staying in this room.”

“I know. I am just fearful.”

“Of course, but the steward and I will do whatever we can to help you. I will have the midwife recommend you begin taking long walks outside as part of your recovery. It will be good for you.”

“All right,” I agreed. Everything she said was true. “How about this afternoon? But I am afraid the only dress that will fit me now is the one that I came in.”

“Oh dear, that’s right. Well, do not worry, we’ll have that fixed in no time. For now, I think your nightdress and robe will be acceptable since the visit is here in your chambers.”

That afternoon, King Toren visited as expected. Unaware that I had heard any of his conversation with Silas, he played the part of the affectionate father.

He arrived with flowers and gifts for me and the baby. I watched him carefully as he entered the room smiling, dressed in a long-sleeved tunic and pants.

“Let me see my grandson… He is a big boy, is he not? Much like his father, I’m sure.”

“Yes, the midwife was amazed by his weight,” I added. We were seated in the sitting area of my room. Sable poured us both a cup of tea and took her place outside the door.

“May I hold him?”

“Of course. Just remember to support his head.”

“Oh, Cay. Your mother is already a great protector of you. You should feel very lucky,” he said to the baby in a very caring tone.

We sat there for some time, catching up on the news in the kingdom. Cay remained sleeping in his arms as Toren told me colorful tales about a feud between two of the courtiers.

After about an hour of pleasantries, Toren’s demeanor shifted to a more serious one.

“Ada, my dear girl. I am afraid I bring some other news along with me. I wanted to wait until you were recovered from the delivery to tell you.”

My body tensed up. It was suspicious that he would bring up this ~other~ news while still holding my child. It was as if it was a test, and I would play the part, acting as ignorant as I could.

“I hope nothing too terrible.”

“I am afraid so. Upon hearing the child’s name, I remembered that his father was Cayden. When we spoke weeks back, I had not put together that your husband was the son of the great Viking Barra.”

“What has happened?” I asked in my most worried voice, which was not difficult to do. If he repeated what I heard in the hall, then I would know this was all a lie.

He had known then that my husband was Cayden of Dundalk, Chief Barra’s town. I had heard it from his own mouth.

“Ada, I have received word that there are clan wars between the Northmen taking place. Cayden and his brother Sayer were both killed.”

I started to panic at his words. How did he know Sayer’s name, or that they were brothers? Where would he have gotten this information, ~unless~ it was the truth?

I was still not emotionally well since giving birth, and I felt myself start crying. Even though a good part of me believed the king was lying, there was still an ounce of doubt that existed.

“I am sorry to bring this news to you at a time when we should be rejoicing.” He held the baby up toward me. “I am sure holding your son will bring you some comfort.”

Those were the first words to leave his lips that seemed sincere. I took Cay into my arms and continued to weep.

He opened the door for Sable to come inside, and she sat down next to me, placing her arm around my shoulder.

“I will leave you in peace. I hope you will begin to join us for dinner once again. It will be good to be around family in these times,” King Toren said, kissing me upon my head.

He left the three of us together in the room. I was falling apart and handed the baby to Sable. I could not accept, nor would I, that mo shíorghrá was dead.

“Please send word to Lady Myrna to meet me outside,” I said to Sable. “I’m sure you are tired, Sable. While I get some fresh air with Cay, I insist you rest here.”