Present
âIâm not part of the deal.â I stared at Gabriel sitting on the other side of his desk. âYou can send Lev or David or anyone else to work for him.â
âYesâ¦â My father laughed under his breath, puffs of his cigar smoke escaping before he blew the rest out. âBecause thatâs exactly what he wants you for, isnât it? To clean toilets in his dojo and to chauffeur his ass around.â
I tipped my chin up at his sarcasm. âHe doesnât want me forâ¦â I breathed out, hesitating. âFor that. And if he does, heâs not getting it.â
Kai might very well want me to wait on him hand and foot, but my father had other ideas. In his head, if Kai was demanding me in particular then he wanted me for nothing less than a little fun.
And he wasnât fucking getting it.
Gabriel didnât know that Iâd met Kai before. Gabriel didnât know that Iâd already played Kaiâs version of fun. I refused to be his tool. Or his toy.
âYouâll do what you have to do,â he told me.
âI wonâtââ
âYouâll do exactly as youâre told!â
Every muscle tensed, and I locked my jaw together, shutting up. A sudden light sweat covered my forehead where my hat sat.
Damon.
This was all for Damon. He was the only reason I stayed in this house. Remember the end game. Find him, get him home, and keep Kai and the rest of those pricks away from him.
My fatherâs dead eyes stared off, barely paying me any mind now. Kai was right about one thing. I was only as valuable as what I was good for to Gabriel Torrance. I knew it the moment Iâd left Kaiâs office tonight at the dojo. I knew it when I stepped into this office an hour later. I always knew my value here.
A woman wasnât good for much in this house, so I did everything I could to make my father and brother forget that I was one.
Gabriel rose from his seat and slowly walked around his desk, the night wind howling outside his office windows. Coming to stand in front of me, he leaned back on his desk, slightly more relaxed as he offered me a patronizing look. âYouâve been useful,â he said, blowing out smoke and turning to set the cigar down in the ashtray. âYouâre smart, and it took a long time for you to earn my trust, but you did. I know I can count on you. Your entire world is Damon.â
Even though it was true, it wasnât flattering to hear. My brother was my world. But while I loved him more than I loved anything else in my entire life, I hated the way my father said it.
Like I was Damonâs pet dog.
âBut now,â Gabriel continued, âyou have an opportunity to prove yourself invaluable. Irreplaceable.â
Important.
Despite my hatred of my father, my loathing of Kai Mori, Michael Crist, Will Grayson, and Erika Fane, I couldnât help the shred of pride that seeped in.
I was irreplaceable. If my father didnât see that yet, he would. Even if itâs the last thing he ever sees.
Gabriel inhaled a deep breath and stood up, his expression turning somewhat pleasant.
âThis is actually perfect,â he said as he walked back around his desk, sounding almost chipper. âYouâll be able to keep an eye on him. Youâll get his house ready for Vanessa when she arrives. Youâll spend time at the dojo, working for him, training, whatever⦠Youâll be where he is and let me know if thereâs anything I should worry about. With him or the rest of those little cunts.â He picked up his cigar and took a few puffs. âAnd if youâre brother comes out of hiding and provokes them again, youâll protect him. Right?â
I averted my gaze. Of course, I would. I always did. But I didnât want to do this. I couldnât be around Kai every day.
Anger boiled under my skin.
I could argue. I could even leave. I didnât love my father, and I was probably better off for it.
But I could best protect Damon with a seat at the table, and if I left I had nothing, goddammit. He needed me. Whether or not my father ever admitted it, he knew that.
When Damon got arrested in college and was sent to prison, I was on top of the situation before Gabriel. I bought all the muscle I could on the inside to make sure no one touched my brother, and when he got out last year, I cleaned up all of his messes. And whenever our father tried to rein him in and he couldnât be controlled, I did what I always did. I exhausted my older brother and broke him until he collapsed and all the anger was gone. For a while anyway. It always came back.
Damon, Gabrielâs only son and sole heir, was only at his best when he had me taking care of him. Only when my brother had his keeper.
Gabriel stood there, looking at me with a rare interest all of a sudden. âHow many men have you been with?â he asked.
I remained silent and steady, but my patience was getting harder to muster. How many men have I been with⦠Jesus.
My father came back around the desk to me, crowding my space and forcing me to look at him. I raised my stare, not bothering to hide the distaste in it.
âDo you know how to fuck?â he demanded plainly, getting to the point. âDo you know how to please him?â
Him.
Kai.
My insides shrunk, and I jerked out of his grasp, looking away again.
But he didnât relent. He slowly pulled my hat off, letting it fall to the ground, and began unbuttoning my jacket. A jolt of fear hit me, but I didnât fight, and I didnât resist. I watched him through the long, dark strands now hanging over my face.
My father had never touched me, but I knew the reason most likely had nothing to do with the fact that I was his daughter and more to do with the fact that Damon didnât want anyone touching me.
He pulled the jacket down my arms, and I sucked in a quick breath as he pushed my hair out of my eyes, the smell of diesel in the strands from working on one of the trucks earlier today drifting into my nose.
His fingers ran down my skin, and he sat back, studying me, tipping up my chin to take in my face like he hadnât seen me nearly every day for the last eleven years.
He circled me, his hand drifting around my waist, and I ground my teeth as he lifted Damonâs old T-shirt to look at my stomach. He let it fall back down and his eyes came to rest on my chest, nodding in approval.
âYouâre not still a virgin, are you?â he asked, probably suspicious when I didnât answer. âI mean, Damon took care of that a long time ago, right?â
Bile rose up, swelling my throat, and I pushed his hands away. âYouâre disgusting,â I gritted out, my eyes burning with tears.
How could he be so vile?
But he just laughed me off and walked back around his desk. âThat boy would fuck a brick if it was wet enough. Donât think we all didnât know what was going on up in that tower.â
I could feel the tears springing up, but I just snarled and snatched my jacket off the ground and charged from the room.
My stomach churned with the prospect of what he expected from me. I could shoot, I could fight, I could convince every man in town to spend a thousand dollars on a twenty-dollar whore if I wanted toâ¦. But I would not be turned over from one man to another like Iâm chattel to be gifted at will. I was more. I was invaluable. This was my home.
I didnât want to be around Kai Mori or his friends.
Swinging around the corner, I bolted up the stairs, hearing Davidâs voice coming from below. âBanks, I need to talk to you.â
âLater.â
I ran up to the second level, skipping stairs, and dug in my heels as I turned a corner and headed for the dark wooden door to my right. Taking my key out of my pocket, I unlocked the dead bolt and opened it.
I walked in, the soft glow of the wall sconces lighting another set of stairs as I closed the door and turned the lock again. Jogging up the second flight, I came right into a circular-shaped bedroom, the only room on the third floor.
Walking across the shiny hardwood floors, I unlocked the window and softly pushed open both panes of glass. The unusually warm October evening was made just a little crisper by the sudden winds, and I closed my eyes, inhaling the smell of earth and burning leaves carried on the breeze.
My skin started to buzz, and I already felt better. This room was another world. Our world. Damonâs and mine.
Leaving the window open, I walked across the room and opened the laptop, clicking on a playlist. Like a Nightmare began playing, and then I leaned over the bed, picking up a pillow.
Raising it to my nose, I inhaled, the faintest hint of fabric softener making my nostrils tingle. I knew I wouldnât smell my brotherâs scent on it, but I was disappointed anyway. Iâd gone without him long enough. I was tired of being alone.
The bedding was newâIâd replaced it several months ago, and I cleaned the room regularly, just to make sure it was spotless if he ever showed up. But even though he hadnât slept here in over a year, I still hoped every time I stepped foot in here that I would find some evidence heâd been home.
I placed the pillow back in its spot, the blacks, whites, and grays of the bedding crisp and perfect as I pulled the corners of the pillow, taking out the wrinkles.
Everything had to be perfect.
Gazing around the room, I took in the pristine floors, the dark walls and gold sconces, the black and white photos heâd hung up in high schoolâ¦. Women and legs and glowing skin, not distasteful really but sex, nonetheless.
I didnât like looking at them.
And then, raising my eyes, I looked toward another small set of stairs in the corner of the room. Shrouded in shadow, the flight led to the âtowerâ as we called it, a small alcove with an even smaller landing at the top. It was surrounded by windows, almost like a lighthouse up there, where you could see over the trees outside for miles. That was my space. When I lived here.
It still housed my mattress, a lamp, and a few clothes, just in case I ever needed it again. Not that I ever used it much anyway, even when I lived here. Damon kept me close.
I walked toward the window again, and planted myself against the wall next to the window, sliding down it until I rested on the floor. Taking my hair, I wound it around and around like a rope and twisted it up on top of my head before pulling out my hat and covering my hair again.
I let my shoulders finally fall, and I closed my eyes, safe in the knowledge that no one could see me right now.
Not that I was seen much, anyway.
But I did like to watch other people. Kind of like Kai did.
A long time ago, I watched him from a distance, part of me wanting him so much. I thought he was good.
Loyal. Beautiful.
But he could be scarier than Damon.
And my brother, Damon Torrance, had been a nightmare since the first time I met him. An exquisite nightmare.
âPull up your sock,â my mom orders as she slams the passenger side door.
I bend over and pull up my dingy knee-high, both of us standing next to our car parked outside a big, black gate. Itâs open, and cars have been streaming in steadily. Mom said there was a party going on today. It was a good time to see him.
âRemember what I told you.â She pulls me up, buttoning the top button of my cardigan and straightening my blouse underneath. I look away, impatient. Iâm twelve, and she has me dressed like a five-year-old.
âIf he starts being mean,â she continues, her voice shaking as much as her hands, âyou need to help me, okay? Tell him we need money. If we donât get help, Nik, youâre going to have to leave the apartment, your bedroom, and all your stuff. Youâll be sleeping in strangersâ houses. And they could take you away from me.â She grasps my shoulders, breathing hard. âYou want to go home tonight, right?â
I nod.
âThen smile pretty,â Jake, her boyfriend, yells out at me from the driverâs seat through the open window.
Yeah, smile pretty. Be nice to someone whoâs never been nice to me. Whoâs never wanted to meet me. My stomach keeps churning, and I canât fist my fingers. I feel weak.
âHurry up, Luce,â he says to my mom.
I know why he wants us to hurry up and what he wanted money for. Both of them. Of course, if we were lucky enough to get anything, Iâd get fed and maybe some used clothes and shoes. My socks were so old they didnât fit right, and Iâd been washing my hair with bar soap for a month now.
But theyâll just party with the rest. Every time we have any money, itâs gone before weâve had a chance to exhale.
My mother takes my hand, and I follow her through the gates and down the long driveway. Looking around, my heart instantly aches. Itâs so beautiful here. Acres of green on both sides of the black drive, trees and bushes and the smell of flowersâ¦God, what would it be like to just go out there and run? To do cartwheels and climb the red oaks and have picnics in the rain?
Looking ahead, I spot the house, the white stone stunning against the blue sky. Cars circle the driveway, and splashes of red lie around the house, which I guess must be rose bushes, though Iâm not yet close enough to see.
But the closer we get, the more unnerved I become. I want to dig in my heels and stop. I want to turn around and say, âIâll rip off food from the Shop-and-Go down the street from our apartment if I have to.â Iâve done it before. We needed milk and cereal, and my mom asked me to get it. If I got caught shoplifting, as a minor I wouldnât get in as much trouble as she would.
We head up to the house, and she stops me just before we get to the door. She squats down, her long coat the only nice thing she has to cover up her cheap clothes.
She holds my shoulders and looks up at me, her eyes sad. âIâm sorry,â she says. âThese are things kids shouldnât have to go through. I know that.â She looks around, tearing up and looking desperate. âI wish you knew how much I want you to have everything. You deserve everything, you know that, right?â
I just stare at her, my eyes starting to water. My mom is a mess, she doesnât always put me first, and I hate the positions Iâm put in sometimes, butâ¦I know she loves me. Not that it always feels like enough, but I know she tries.
âI wish I could take you away and buy us a house like this,â she says wistfully, âand all you would ever do is smile.â She stands up, brushing the wrinkles out of her coat. âIt kills me that his little shit of a son gets everything he wants and you get nothing.â
Damon. My fatherâs son. The only child he claimed.
Sheâd only mentioned him a few times, not that sheâd ever met him. He had just been born when my mom got pregnant with me, but weâd heard enough over time. Heâs supposed to be kind of trouble.
She takes my hand again and leads me to the front door where a servant is holding it open, greeting guests as they enter.
A woman in a sparkly dress looks down at me, narrowing her eyes and taking in my clothes. I quickly look away.
People enter the house, and we follow, but the man at the door puts his hand on my motherâs shoulder. âExcuse me. Who are you?â
âI need to see Gabriel.â
The man, whoâs wearing a white waistcoat, moves in front of her, blocking her way.
I peek around him, seeing all the fancy people in suits and dresses walking through a door to the back of the house.
âMr. Torrance is entertaining guests right now,â he tells her.
My mother puts her arm around me, replying flatly, âThis is his kid, and if I donât see him now, Iâm going to run through your quaint little village here in Thunder Bay and shout it to the world.â
The man purses his lips, and I notice a few people around us turn to look. I cringe on the inside. Would Gabriel even care if she did that?
The servant nods to the man standing next to the wall, and he walks over. My heart races, watching him pat my mother down.
But then the burly guard finishes with her and steps over to me, running his hands down my arms. I jerk, and my mother pulls me away.
âKeep your hands off her,â she demands.
I shake and move into her, hiding as much as possible.
âFollow me,â the servant whoâd opened the door says. He leads my mother and me through the house, and I look around, noticing a library, a den, and some kind of sitting room. Everything is dark, and nearly everything is made of wood: the stairs, the furniture, some of the wallsâ¦. We pass by the staircase, and my eye catches a figure standing at the top. I look up.
A boy stands there, leaning on the wall, with his arms crossed over his chest. He stares at us, his eyes following me as I pass by. He has dark hair like mine, but his eyes are darker, narrow and calm. But something in his look makes me shrink. Is that him?
âWait here,â the man says.
My mother and I stop outside a door, while the older man rounds a corner.
My mom takes my hand and holds it with both hands. She did the same thing a couple years ago when CPS came to our house and also on the rare occasion I had a pushy teacher who went the extra mile to convince her to come to parent-teacher conferences. Sheâs nervous.
I hear hard footsteps hit the floor. My heart starts beating in my throat, and I stop breathing for a moment.
A shadow falls on the ground, and I look up, seeing a tall, well-dressed man charge around the corner.
Graying black hair, beautiful black suit and shirt, shiny shoesâ¦I stare up at him wide-eyed, my breath caught in my throat at his strong scent, a mixture of cologne and tobacco.
He gets in my momâs face, his voice sounding so mean that my hands start to shake.
âYou know whatâs more tragic than a poor junkie whore?â he bites out at her. âA dead, poor junkie whore.â
And then he looks down at me. âSit,â he orders. âNow.â
I take a shallow breathâitâs all I can force inâand drop to the bench, fidgeting with my hands. He pushes my mother through the door, and I see a desk and some books before he closes it.
Oh, God. What the hell? Heâs so mean. Why? I know my mom can be trouble, and sheâs embarrassing, even to me sometimes, but I havenât done anything.
I blink away the tears that spring up all of a sudden. I donât want to be here. These people are awful. My mom said my dad owns a media company and sits on the boards of othersâwhatever that meansâbut thereâs also other things he does. She had worked for him, but she wouldnât tell me what she did.
I just want to leave. I donât want anything to do with him, and I donât want to know anything more.
Movement catches my eye, and I look up to see the dark-eyed boy coming down the hallway. He looks relaxed, holding a green bottle by the neck and stopping at the entryway, leaning on the wall as he stares at me.
I lick my lips, feeling every hair on my arms stand up. I avert my eyes, embarrassed, but they keep coming back to him.
His black pants and leather shoes look like someone tried to dress him up, but his white shirt is partially untucked, and his sleeves are rolled up. His hair is combed, though, and I notice how thin his gaze is on me, as well as the striking arch of his dark eyebrows. I have the same arches, and my mom says they make the green of my eyes so piercing, but it does the same for his dark ones, too.
He takes a swig from the bottleâsome kind of beer, I think, but he doesnât look much older than me.
I hear a muffled argument from behind the door and look over at him again. My father seemed to know who I am. Does this boy?
âAre you my brother?â I ask.
His lips lift in slight amusement, and he doesnât look the least bit shocked at my question.
Walking over to me, he stops, his legs hitting mine as he tips the bottle back, downing the rest of the drink. I watch the lump go up and down in his throat before he turns it over, stabbing the neck into the soil of the potted plant on the table.
He leans down, one hand planted on the wall above my head and the other one caressing my face. I rear back, but I have nowhere to go.
The beer on his breath hits my nose as he gets closer, and I feel a cool sweat break out on my neck. Is he going to kiss me?
His mouth hovers inches from mine, and he looks into my eyes. âDo you like snakes?â
Snakes? What?
I shake my head.
A spark of something flashes in his eyes, and he suddenly stands up, taking my hand. âCome on.â
He pulls me off the bench, and I stumble after him.
âNo, wait,â I say. âI think Iâm supposed to wait for my mom. I donât want her to be mad.â
But he just keeps going, dragging me up the stairs, and I donât fight. If I do, he might be mad, too. And if I make him mad, it could make my father madder.
He pulls me after him, his hold on my wrist making the skin burn a little as he rushes us around the bannister at the top of the stairs. Heading toward the end of the hall, he opens a door and pulls me through. Iâm suddenly in darkness with only a small glow above. My heart is beating so hard I feel nauseous. Where are we?
The boy pulls me, and I follow, but my foot catches on something, and I stumble. I grab the back of his shirt to keep myself from falling, and I realize Iâm on stairs. He continues up, and I grab the wall, trying to steady myself as I scale the steep incline. Thereâs a third floor to the house?
We come up to the top, and he opens another door, shoving me through. Chills spread down my skin, and I whimper under my breath, suddenly scared. What if my mom canât find me? What if my father makes her leave, even without me? Why am I up here?
Will he let me leave?
I pull my sleeves down over my hands, fidgeting again, and glance around quickly. The messy room has a large, unmade bed, posters all over the walls, and some heavy metal song about wanting to âgo to hellâ playing on speakers I canât see.
I inhale through my nose and catch the subtle odor of cigarettes.
As he heads over to his computer and turns down the music, Iâm unable to stop the fear, but I also feel a sliver of admiration. Damonâs only supposed to be thirteen, and heâs drinking and smoking? He can do whatever he wants. Like an adult.
He turns around and crooks his finger at me, and despite how worried I am, I donât dare refuse.
He takes my hand and leads me over to a long, wooden dresser, and I notice two fish tanks on top. One has sand with a large branch and a water pool, and in the other one thereâs mulch with leaves and more branches. In the left one, I see a red, black, and yellow striped snake.
My heart skips a beat. Thatâs why he brought me up here.
âThis is Volos,â he says. âAnd this is Kore.â He points out the white snake in the other tank, hidden inside a burrowed log. I look hesitantly, seeing the red splotches on its skin.
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, worried that heâs going to remove them from their cages.
âDo theyâ¦bite?â I ask.
He looks down at me. âAll animals bite when theyâre provoked.â
I lean down, looking through the glass. Hopefully, if I show interest, he wonât want to try to scare me by taking them out.
Their tanks are large, lots of room to move, and they look clean. The snakes lie still.
âWouldnât they like to be together?â
âTheyâre not puppies,â he retorts. âTheyâre wild animals. They donât play well with others, and they donât like company. They donât make friends.â
He removes the top of the cage on the left, and I immediately take a step back. No.
âIf one of them gets aggravated or stressed,â he says, reaching in and picking up the red, black, and yellow one, âitâll eat the other one.â
Damon pulls out both hands, the snake coiled through his fingers, and he turns to me, the snake inches from my body.
I scurry back, and he walks toward me, laughing. âHow could you think Iâm your brother? Look how scared you are.â
He shoves the snake in my face, and I scream, my back hitting the wall.
âNo, I donât likeââ
âShut your mouth,â he growls, grabbing for my hands with his free one.
I struggle, trying to get away from him, but his body pins me to the wall as he holds the snake with one hand and gets my wrists in a lock with the other. Pushing them over my head, he pins my hands to the wall, and I start tearing up, my chest filling with dread.
âNo, no, pleaseâ¦â
âShut up.â
I twist my head back and forth, squeezing my eyes shut as he holds me there.
âDo you know who I am?â he asks.
My breathing shakes, and I donât want to open my eyes. Then, something touches my cheek, and I jerk.
âStay still or heâll bite.â
I pant, instantly stilling every muscle.
âPlease,â I whisper, begging.
But I donât move. The touch comes back, and itâs smooth, like water. Oh, God. Please.
âLook at me,â he says.
My lungs empty, and I hesitate. But slowly, I peel my eyes open.
I see a red, black, and yellow blur in front of me, and shake with a cry. Heâs holding it to my face. I feel its tongue flit over my skin, and I start breathing fast, my chest racing up and down faster than my heart.
âShhhâ¦â Damon says soothingly.
I force myself to raise my eyes to him, and all of a suddenâ¦my breathing starts to slow. Heâs piercing me with his eyesâwhich I see now are more black than brownâand Iâm locked in.
âLook at them out there,â he tells me, turning his head toward the window to my left.
I follow his gaze, slowly turning my head away from the snake to see men in black skulking on the lawn, two valets in white waistcoats, and a man and woman exiting a shiny black car.
âWhen I come on the scene, they all fucking look away,â he whispers, staring outside. âWhen I speak to them, their voices shake. They donât even let their wives, girlfriends, or daughters come around if they know Iâm home.â
I pinch my eyebrows together in confusion. Whoâs he talking about? The servants? Or the guests?
âI know everything, everyone does what I want, and everyone is afraid of me,â he continues, and then turns his eyes on me, âand money doesnât buy that. Money and power donât go hand in hand. Power comes from having the guts to do what others wonât.â
He drags the snakeâs body over my mouth, and I gasp, jerking away again.
âYouâre nothing like me,â he snarls in a low voice. âA dirty, little nothing. A mistake.â
He releases me and steps back, and I quickly wipe away the tears that spilled over my lids.
He turns around and sits down in a deep, cushioned chair, petting his snake. âDonât let your mom come back here again, you understand?â he orders, pinning me with a look. âOr Iâll lock you in a closet with Volos.â
I run for the door and grab the handle, but my hand shakes so hard I canât turn it. âItâs not my fault,â I blurt out, turning my head toward him. âThat my mom had me. Why would you want to hurt me?â
âYouâre not special.â He raises Volos and looks at him, acting like Iâm not even here. âThere are lots of people I want to hurt. And maybe I will somedayâ¦when I figure out the best way to get rid of a body.â
He gives a half-grin, acting like heâs joking, but Iâm not sure he is.
âI am special,â I say. âMy teacher says Iâm the smartest in my class.â
âDoesnât matter.â He shrugs. âIn five years, youâll be riding dicks in the backseat for twenty dollars just like your mom.â
My stomach retches, and I nearly choke on a cough. What? How could he say something like that?
âDamon?â A voice rings out.
Itâs coming from the speaker system on the wall, next to the door.
âDamon, your mother wants you,â the womanâs voice says, not waiting for him to answer. âSheâs in her room.â
I turn my head and look at him, pinching my eyebrows together when I notice blood trailing down his finger. The snake suddenly strikes him again, and I suck in a little breath. Heâs squeezing it too hard. Whyâs he doing that?
But he just stares ahead, his eyes heavy like heâs lost in thought. Did he even hear the woman on the intercom?
âDamon?â I say. That snake isnât dangerous, right? He wouldnât keep a venomous animal here.
Whatâs wrong with him?
He finally raises his eyes. âGet out.â
Jesus. What a jerk. I whip open the door and take a step. But then I stop and spin around once more.
âA cemetery,â I say. âThatâs how Iâd get rid of a dead body.â
He looks up at me again, his eyes narrow, and I lift my chin, shrugging. âIâd find a freshly covered grave. That way they wouldnât be able to tell it was re-dug. Put another body in there and cover it back up. Thatâs what Iâd do.â
And I pulled the door closed, slamming it shut on his dark stare.
I exhaled, breathing hard but standing a little bit taller.
God, he was a mess. And horrible and mean, and why did he lose it like that when whoever-that-was came on the intercom? For a moment, he looked so alone.
Heâs got everything. Whyâs he so angry? Iâm the one who should be angry. Iâm the one whoâs alone. A father who doesnât care about me and a mother who hurts and makes me do things I donât want to do.
He doesnât know what itâs like to suffer. To have something to be angry about.
Minutes later, as my mother and I are shown the doorâempty-handed, of courseâI walk down the driveway, glancing behind me one last time. Damon stands at his bedroom window, watching us leave.
The orange end of a cigarette burns brightly as he takes a drag, and I hold his stare for as long as I can, unable to look away.
Not until a tree passes through my line of sight, and I lose him.
I go home with the last image of him on that lonely third floor, the dark boy in that dark room, and I grow uneasy.
Heâs not okay.
I dreamed about him that night.
And eight days later, he shows up on my motherâs doorstep. He hands her nine thousand four hundred sixty-two dollars, a Rolex, and some emerald earrings.
And he takes me home with him.
I rested my arms on my bent-up knees, running my lips over my interlocked fingers as the memory leaves me. I was twelve then, and here we were, eleven years later, and here was where Iâd stayed ever since. My father let me stay, because he rarely denied his son anything, but legal guardianship had been relinquished to Marina. Just so my father wouldnât have the tedious task of taking me to the doctor when I was sick or answering to the police if I ever got into trouble.
But I belonged to Damon Torrance.
I didnât know why he wanted me. Not at first. And I was scared bad things were going to happen to me.
And they did.
But he always took care of me. He scrounged up what he could get his hands on around the house to buy me from my mother, who, in a perfect world, wouldâve loved to not do what she had done, but the money and the small prospect that I might actually have a better life here in Thunder Bay won out.
Mostly, it was the money, though. Which was spent as easily as it was earned in no time at all. She tried to get me back several times over the years, maybe because she hated what sheâd done, or maybe she just wanted to renegotiate for more cash, but Damon had what he wanted, and he wouldnât even hear her out. Not when he was fifteen or seventeen or nineteen.
Not that I wanted him to, anyway. It could be so strange how things happen. How the people you never suspect become youâre only lifeline, and you hold onto them as hard as you can, because you have no choice. There was nothing else to keep you from falling. Falling into loneliness or despair or fear. He reached for me, and I reached back.
Within days of arriving, moving into my cubby in the tower and spending hours upon hours of being his shadow, I was captivated by him. I idolized him and wanted to be like him.
We were our family.
I looked over at the tanks, seeing Volos and Kore II basking under their heat lamps. Standing up, I walked over and removed the lid, gingerly picking up Volos and helping him curl around my hand. He should be dead already. Kore passed years ago, but Volos was hanging on. Perhaps for his master.
He rested peacefully, not moving, and I ran my fingers down his scaly skin.
After the first meeting with Damon, Iâd researched his snakes on the Internet at the library and found out Volos was a milk snake and Kore was a corn snake. Both completely harmless, neither venomous.
Although what Damon said was true.
Every animal bites when itâs provoked.