Owen
I'm never trying sports again.
A few weeks has passed since I got better, and all I'm trying to do is find something that could scare the shit out of me to turn into a goddamn person, better than I had already been in the past.
Believe me when I tell you I had almost tried everything to keep my mind away from, things I'd rather keep quiet.
I tried taking art classes, but I can't draw anything close to a discernible person, or color match something close to the actual reference. I tried cooking, but I can't get the instructions right. I even tried doing some volunteer work in a daycare, and as much as I tried not to dislike children, I found myself on the verge between keeping quiet about my dislike of children and my fondness of running over their tiny, little feet just to shut them up.
Just a few moments ago, I had just gotten out of my last class and found myself back at one of the libraries around school.
A book on writing was in front of me, and I read it and took notes from the book, hoping that I could at least get something out of it.
It was something about improving one's writing skills, since I barely listened to any of the lectures way back in middle and high school.
As I was bent over the plainly thin guide book on writing, a flyer advertising the school paper had been crumpled under it. They're looking for writers. And if this goes well, I could be one of them.
For someone who reads a lot, I found it uncanny that I have never thought to write anything before, with the exception of grocery lists and my poor attempts of poetry during senior year.
I devoured each page of the book, and forced myself to write samples of each, but today, I had been working on essays since they're a lot.
I wasn't the best at writing those during middle and high school. I just dumped words without being so involved in them. I didn't get lost in whatever I wrote previously. I simply threw them out of my head and never thought about them again.
But I think I'm going to change that.
My head was lowered in concentration, as my eyes painfully scanned and tried to comprehend the crucial tips and proper writing style when it comes to those. My hair had been all over my sight, and it was a pain in the ass to keep pulling it back up. Didn't Athena leave one of her headbands back in my dorm room?
"Why are you following me?" I heard someone say as she walked in, her heels clacking down quite loudly.
"Why are you such a bitch?" another person said, this one, a guy.
I shot my head up a little and immediately caught my breath.
It was Maya and Elliot.
I stilled.
"You know, this is why Sharon doesn't care about you. You're such a creep." Maya told him through her attempted whispers, but I can hear them perfectly from my distance.
Elliot looked annoyed for a moment, as he scratched his light head with a hand and glared at her.
"Sharon is my mother. Yeah, she doesn't give a single fuck about me but at least I try my best to be better. She's your mom too." he said in defense.
Maya's jaw was clenched and her ponytail was messy. I never see it that messy.
"Stepmother. I never liked her, and I don't think I'll ever like you if you keep following me like a fucking creep." she said as she stepped forward and shot a finger at him.
I was aghast.
I didn't know Maya had a stepmother. Or a stepbrother who is, unfortunately, Elliot.
Even seeing him again makes my blood boil but I tried not to be so watchful of them. With my head lowered down onto the book I had, I continued listening to their conversation, only stealing quick glimpses of them as they argued.
"Oh, so I'm a fucking weirdo. What does that make you then? A saint?" he asked mockingly, his arms open wide as he laughed.
Maya looked annoyed, but she shot up her chin and looked at him straight in the eye.
"A better person than whoever you're trying to be." she muttered disdainfully.
Elliot snorted out a quick laugh and shrugged, shoving both his hands into the front pockets of his black jeans.
"Funny. I kinda remember you being the reason people broke up. They're not the first, as far as I can tell." he said, looking away for a moment, and I quickly ducked down before he would recognize me.
Both were quiet for a moment, and I slowly raised my head a little to see what was happening.
Maya was staring up at Elliot, and Elliot looked at her, his expression nonchalant.
"You know, Aalia and Marcus. Nik and Ezra. Owen and Athena." he said, his words slowing down as he got to the end.
To Athena.
And me.
I kept my head low as I listened closely to their conversation.
"I get why you know about Owen and Athena since you threw the other off a balcony. But the others? God, you really are a creep." Maya said with a scoff and a quick roll of her eye.
Elliot just shrugged and smiled a bit.
"Thank your cousins for that. You do this every, fucking, year. You start to like someone in a relationship, befriend the other, then break them up so you can have the other to yourself. It's funny how you throw them so easily once you're done so you can move on to the next." he said knowingly.
Maya was silenced this time, and she looked a bit uncomfortable with the dirt Elliot has on her. I was guessing she was thinking of something to combat him with but she doesn't. He knows, and now, I do too.
Well, maybe I know a small bit, but at least that's something.
Maya fidgeted with the edge of her peach blouse, rolling her thin fingers over and over around the edges, sighing at the mere presence of Elliot who stared back at her, waiting for her to say something.
"I'm scared of commitment, okay? Now would you please shut the fuck up and stop following me?" she said as she started to turn her back and walk away. It was not soon before Elliot grabbed her wrist and Maya shot her head back at him, her expression livid.
"No. Not until you tell me why you broke them up." Elliot said, seething.
At this point, I don't even think I'm breathing.
They're talking about us.
Athena and I.
Not soon, Maya broke free of Elliot's grip on her wrist, and she ran circles around the line where her silver chain bracelet was, smirking.
"I'm already doing you a favor. I know you still like her. Go for it. She's available again, isn't she? You should thank me." she said, looking at Elliot with an air of smugness circling around her.
I watched Elliot's eyes lose contact with Maya's, and he seemed to be thinking hard on this matter.
Huh.
I didn't think he could take things seriously. Maybe I had been underestimating him, but that doesn't mean I automatically like him.
"I don't want to." he muttered under his breath, as he turned his head away from Maya, and I ducked my head again.
I wasn't sure he would look back toward Maya this time, and instead of raising my head slightly to see what was happening, I kept my head down. Hopefully, they would take me as someone who fell asleep in the library. It isn't that uncommon.
Silence followed the two again, halting their conversation.
Then I heard slow footsteps, and maybe even slow clapping.
"Impressive. You're really putting yourself down for a cripple?" Maya said, and I'm sensing a smile is slowly forming on her face.
I hardened and almost immediately, rolled my hands into fists.
I didn't think Maya would call me that. Especially when we had been friends before.
While some people like me are fine with being called that, I personally don't think it suits me. By definition, it means something that deprives someone the ability to function normally. In my defense, we all have our degrees of normality. This, was my normal.
Am I not normal?
My head was then filled with memories of the first time I went back to a regular school, and how many weird looks I got and how kids would go up to our teachers and ask me why I was like that. IÂ never liked people, but being the talk of the town didn't make me feel so good about myself.
Risking getting caught, I slowly raised my head to catch a glimpse of Elliot and Maya, and I was surprised to see that only one of them was smiling. And it was Maya.
"I would've laughed but, Athena taught me better. Apparently, he doesn't like that word." he said, cocking his head to the side a bit.
I looked at him disbelievingly.
Did this ass, defend me?
Maya jutted her chin a bit as she crossed her arms over her chest. Elliot then looked at Maya, seriousness etched on his face. They both became silent again, as their stares intensified.
He's not joking earlier, wasn't he?
Not soon after, Elliot sighed and walked closer toward Maya, his eyes looking down on her, as she, in return, tried her hardest to act like the superior one between the two.
Whatever game they're playing, Maya was losing.
"Yeah, I like her. But she's moved on from me and is stuck on that,--that guy. She seemed happier with him anyway, and when he broke up with her, she was crushed, and in some way, I felt that. She deserves to be happy, and unlike me, he makes her feel that way." he admitted.
I felt myself stop moving once more and I raised my head a little more.
He still likes her, but
she likes me.
My chest pounded hard on my chest and I had to stop myself from getting so giddy. I need to remember the reason why we broke things off and realized, some space would both benefit us. But now, I started to have ideas.
What if I never met Maya? Would I still would have been with Athena, or will we face the same end?
I started to feel uncomfortable in the midst of my thoughts, and instead, diverted my attention back to Maya and Elliot, still staring at each other with blazing eyes.
"I never knew you had a heart." Maya started, glaring at Elliot from the tip of his head, down to his toes. Elliot only smiled.
"I always knew you didn't have one." he retorted.
The air between them seemed so intense, even I had to catch my breath just slyly watching them.
Eventually, Maya pulled up her school bag up her shoulders and started to walk away from Elliot. He, on the other hand, was locked in place. He just looked at her.
"Anyway, I have some things I have to do." Maya told him, her voice almost as kind as when we first talked. I now realized how stupid I was to trust someone who can change their whole attitude in a split second.
I watched them both again as Elliot stared at her and nodded, a slight crooked smile forming on his face.
"Hope it's not breaking people up." he answered, his grin widening.
And with that, Maya fumed and before she could think of something to say, she simply turned her back and walked away from Elliot, leaving him smiling there like an idiot.
He didn't move or walk away even after she left. He just stood there, and looked around the library, the motion of his eyes seemingly in search of something. Or someone.
I ducked my head low and from whatever remainder of my vision I can use to catch a glimpse of him, my chest loosened as I watched him stand there for a few more moments, before he too walked away.
Thank god, he didn't see me.
I slowly raised my head up again, and straightened my posture against the low back of my chair and thought,
What the hell did I bore witness to?