Chapter 32: Chapter Thirty-Two

Elliot thrashed and bucked wildly as we heaved him up between us. Despite being weakened by his time in the forest, he was still able to wrench his stick-insect limbs from our grasps.

“Something’s not right with this kid,” Cora commented, her hands gripped around his right ankle.

Aaron was holding onto the left. “You’re telling me. It’s like he’s lost his mind or something.”

I was on shoulder duty—holding Elliot beneath his pits while Retta and Birch stopped him from clawing at me by gripping onto a hand each—and looked down into his face. They were right. Elliot was foaming at the mouth. Something about him seemed less than human. Or Vanpari, whatever. You know what I mean.

“You don’t think he caught brainrot, do you?” Birch said.

Brainrot was a nickname given to the collection of symptoms you’d get from ingesting the wrong kind of plants. Elkie kids get taught in school what foliage is edible. It was highly likely Elliot, being a clueless city dweller, had accidentally chowed down on something he shouldn’t have.

Juniper grimaced. “You might be right.”

Foaming at the lips. Wild, pinprick pupils. Anxiety. Violent outbursts. Yeah, Elliot was showing all the classic symptoms. Crap. This was exactly not what we needed right now.

“What the hell is brainrot?” Aaron asked, grunting and almost losing hold of Elliot’s flailing leg.

“It sounds fatal,” Cora replied.

“It’s not,” I said, quickly. “But it’s definitely the last thing we need right now.”

Without the proper treatment, Elliot wouldn’t improve. And while his mind was temporarily lost, what chance did we have of convincing him to help us? It didn’t bear thinking about.

It took us hours that we definitely didn’t have, but somehow we managed to wrestle Elliot all the way back to the cottage. Once inside, we deposited him in the dining room and barricaded the door. He banged against it, cursing us the whole time.

Juniper slunk down, her back against it, completely exhausted. “So, that could’ve gone better,” she said over the noise, jerking with each kick Elliot gave on the other side of the door.

Everyone else looked just as drained as she did, and equally as depressed. A sense of hopelessness began to creep in. I pushed it quickly away.

“I’ll go and see if Grandma has any brainrot treatment,” I told them.

I was about to head upstairs when a lull in Elliot’s screeching and kicking made everything go silent. In the quietness, I heard a voice calling from the living room.

“Theia? Is that you?”

I looked at Juniper and Birch, frowning. “Is that…?”

“Grandma!” they both cried.

We ran down the corridor—leaving Cora, Retta, and Aaron to watch over Elliot’s door—and into the living room. The sight that awaited me made my eyes ping wide with surprise.

There, drinking tea out of china cups and eating buttery toast, were Gus, Nik, Lucas, and Grandma. Nik was sporting a large bandage across his midriff. Though he kept his eyes averted, I was relieved to see he looked way less pale than when I’d last seen him. We may have been yelling at each other before I left, but I was still glad the color had returned to his cheeks. I wasn’t that much of a hardass…

Lucas looked exceptionally well rested, with freshly washed and styled hair, like he was getting ready for a modeling shoot, rather than in the middle of a crisis. And Gus and Grandma, well, they were both grinning devilishly at their male companions—especially the half-naked Siren with muscles fit to rival Michelangelo’s David.

“What the heck is going on?” I asked.

Here I was looking like a bum on a bender, and Nik, Gus, and Lucas had just been kicking it back with Grandma?

“August has been filling me in on all the gossip,” Grandma said. “And I’ve been getting to know your new friends.” She winked.

“I can see that,” I replied, wryly.

“I’m guessing by the ruckus you found Elliot?” Gus said.

I nodded, and looked at Nik. “We had to drag him back here. He’s not doing well. We think he ate something bad in the forest.”

“Brainrot?” Grandma asked.

Nik’s eyes widened with panic. “Brain what?”

“It sounds worse than it is,” I told him quickly. To Grandma, I added, “Do you have the remedy?”

She nodded. “Of course. Birch, go and fetch it from my medicine cabinet.”

My younger cousin dutifully followed her orders.

I paced farther into the living room and planted a kiss on Grandma’s cheek. It was nice to see her, despite everything that was going on.

Exhausted, I flopped down on the couch beside her, while Juniper took the armchair. Then Birch returned, holding a jar filled with a gross-looking, gooey substance.

“It takes a few days to work through the system,” Grandma explained. “You won’t be able to get anything intelligible out of him for a while.”

My stomach sank. Just as I’d suspected.

“We don’t have a few days,” I said. “We need Elliot now. The voting will be starting in a matter of hours.”

“Try him on a double dose then,” Grandma said. “Washed down with my infamous colonic cleansing juice, it should speed everything through his system. But take him to the bathroom. I don’t want a mess on the carpet.”

Everyone pulled disgusted expressions.

Birch stood there holding the jar at arm’s length. “I’m not giving it to him,” he said.

“Don’t look at me!” Gus replied, clearly appalled at the suggestion he get involved in anything even remotely icky.

Nik stood and took the jar from Birch. “I’ll do it. He’s my friend.”

“Good luck,” I said. “Don’t expect a happy reunion. Your buddy’s kinda… pissed.”

Nik frowned at me, his eyes mournful. Okay, so I could’ve been more sensitive. But I was still mad at him after our fight. And okay, sure, I was also a little bitter that he’d been able to rest this whole time while I’d been stuck out in the forest getting headbutted by a Vanpari with brainrot. Sue me.

I watched as Nik hobbled out the room. He still appeared to be in some pain, but significantly less than when I’d left him.

“What kind of voodoo did you work on him?” I asked Grandma.

She rolled her eyes. “I started by wiping off all that runny-nose medicine you’d slathered all over him. Then I used an Elkie remedy—not voodoo—to clean and seal the wound. You’d have known how to do it yourself if you ever listened to a word I said!”

Lucas began to chuckle. I flashed him a glare.

“Nice to see you’ve finally woken up, Sleeping Beauty,” I said, scathingly.

He stretched his arms over his head and yawned. “No point us all being dog-tired, T. Besides, I’m the designated driver. You don’t want me falling asleep at the wheel, do you?”

Grandma nodded like Lucas was the know-it-all kid in class that teachers adored.

“We won’t be driving anywhere soon, by the sounds of things,” I muttered. “Elliot’s in no fit state to talk to the press.”

“Or get in my van,” Lucas added. “Not if he’s crapping all over the place.”

I sank my head into my hands. This was not how I’d pictured my trip to Bear Mountain going. I’d thought we’d have more time. I’d thought tracking Elliot would be easy. The only hard part was supposed to be whether Nik could convince him to come back to New York City and testify. But now it was the morning of the election and our star witness was about to be force-fed laxatives to help flush the brainrot out of his system.

“Don’t give up just yet,” Grandma told me. “Elliot might only have a mild case. Several hours in the bathroom might be just what he needs.”

I grimaced again. “Let’s hope. But I’m not holding my breath.”

Although, depending on what exactly happened with Elliot, maybe I would be…

I let my head slip down to her shoulder. “I’m glad to see you, Grandma.”

“You too, darling.” She patted my hair. “It was quite a surprise waking up this morning, calling out for my breakfast tea, and having this lovely young man deliver it.”

She was talking about Lucas. I couldn’t help but smirk. “I bet it was.”

“August told me everything,” Grandma added. “You kids really ought to keep me in the loop.”

Juniper’s face cracked with concern. “I’m so sorry, Grandma. I wasn’t not telling you. It all just happened so fast. Theia appeared and then we had to help Gus, and I honestly didn’t think we’d be gone all night. Are you mad?”

My feisty grandma started laughing. “Absolutely not! Do you know how long it’s been since I had an adventure?”

My cousins and I all exchanged a glance. Grandma was getting pretty frail these days. All the excitement might be too much for her. But on the other hand, having her around was hugely comforting. It was only breakfast and she’d already managed to fix Nik. Having an actual adult take some of the responsibility from my shoulders was such a relief.

Just then, some shouting and yelling came from the other end of the corridor. Clearly, Elliot was being wrangled into the bathroom to begin his treatment, putting up a fight the whole way.

Just listening to the ruckus made me tense. Elliot was in a bad way and I doubted even the most explosive diarrhea would solve the problem.

The screeching noises finally died down. Then I heard approaching footsteps. Finally, Retta, Cora, and Aaron appeared at the door.

“Come in,” Grandma exclaimed. “You all look exhausted. August, fetch the red velvet cake from the pantry. Let’s get some sugar in your bloodstreams.”

My exhausted, mud-splattered, sleep-deprived friends all murmured in appreciation. They crowded into Grandma’s sitting room, settling in beside one another and on the floor when there were no spaces left on the couches.

I had Retta at my feet, resting her head against my knees.

“So Nik’s on poop duty with Elliot?” I asked her.

“He’s locked inside. Poor guy.” She pulled a gagging face. Then her expression turned darker. “Theia, I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“Me neither,” I replied.

Birch turned on the news. Protests were still raging in the city. But of course the main story was the election. Voting was about to begin.

I snuggled into Grandma, breathing in her comforting scent. She stroked my hair tenderly, the way she always did. I yawned deeply. Exhaustion was starting to take over.

Then, somehow, in spite of everything, I fell asleep.