Ashlynn
It's been one of the longest days of my life.
It seems a lifetime ago that Viggo was led away in handcuffs, out of my life forever. I'm feeling virtually nothing about that. I'm not sure if that's closure, or if I just can't process it yet.
Or maybe it's just because so much has happened since this morning. The long process of getting to Costa Rica. The immediate somber ride to the parish where Megan is buried. The lengthy conversations required with the new priest, the tedious checking of the records, the locating of the grave marked simply with a plain white cross. The long moments I stood before the resting place of a girl who was not like me.
She didn't ask for Slade. She was abducted against her will. Her fate was an acute horror.
I chose Slade's abuse. My nightmare was a slow willing slide into his depravity.
It doesn't seem fair that I escaped him and she didn't. If one of us should have been spared, it should have been her. And yet, I know I would never change places with her willingly. I wouldn't sacrifice myself to rest in her place. I'm not sure if that makes me a bad person or just an honest one.
I do my best not to sob for the cruelty of fate. It doesn't seem right, when Laurie and Varrick are so quietly grieving. I simply stand a little distance away as Laurie sinks to her knees and Varrick hovers close behind.
I talk to this girl who is a stranger, but feels like someone I know.
I'm so sorry, I tell her silently. I've done all I can for you. I brought the people who loved you, to say good-bye. I made sure the man who hurt you can't hurt anyone else. I will be a friend to your mother. And to Varrick, if I can. I'm sorry I can't do more for you.
After what seems like a long time, Leed leads me into the small church sanctuary. He shocks me by crossing himself as we pass the altar.
When I stop, unsure what to do, he smiles at me. "You don't have to do anything."
"You...you're Catholic?" I whisper. "I thought you were...hippie."
"Hippie is a lifestyle, not a religion affiliation," he chuckles at me. "Second stepmother was Catholic. She wanted us to convert." He looks up at the altar. "I liked the ritual, the ceremony, the mystery of it all, so I went to the classes to see what was up. Got baptized. I was thirteen, maybeâthe last time I was in church."
I look from Leed to the cross. "You still...believe?"
He looks up at the cross and shrugs. "Not so much in all the stuff I learned in Catechism classes, no. Not like the Heartleys, either...I don't feel guilty about sin and I don't feel like my spirituality is tied to one creed. I'm sort of eclectic, I guess. I like the Eastern practices, a lot. But I still hold a belief beyond the acceptance of suffering, which is kind of the point of eastern philosophy, right? ...I mean, do I think there is a higher power? That when I meditate, I find something bigger than myself? That there is insight in the stillness of the Universe, and help to be given if I follow my instincts?" He bows his head. "How could I not believeâthe way I've found you? The way you found Megan?"
This man.
His soul.
My heart.
I embrace him slowly, right there in the middle of the empty sanctuary. I never want to let go. We stay that way a long time. He leeds me to the candle altar. We light a candle for Megan.
"The smoke signifies our prayers rising to heaven," he tells me.I've hardly ever been to church since I was a little girl, but I find myself praying. For Megan's peace.
But also, for God to always protect Leed's tender soul.
Even from me.
We sit in the pews silently for a long time, waiting on Laurie and Varrick. After they've spent all the time they need, it's a short ride out to the small hamlet where Laurie's orphanage is.
Her quiet grief breaks when the kids all run to her at once. She's laughing and hugging and firing rapid questions at them. Varrick looks incredibly uncomfortable as a little girl tugs at his hand and looks up at him.
"Are you here to adopt a kid?" she asks.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Uhhhhm...because I don't know anything about kids. I'm not sure I even like them," he says a little sternly. The little girl frowns at him...more like she's insulted than wounded. I elbow him. He rolls his eyes at me and adds. "But uhhhm...you seem okay. I'm sure you're a nice kid."
"Luka is very nice," Laurie agrees, winking at the girl.
Luka holds up a small finger with a look like she disagrees. "Unless there is only one banana popsicle left." She drops into a fighting stance and puts her hands up in front of her like she's watched too many Jackie Chan movies. "Then, I'm a killer."
Varrick snickers, and then gets a surprised look on his face, like he doesn't understand why he did that. But I do. Luka is the cutest, funniest little girl I think I've ever seen.
"Come play," she says imperiously.
He backs away. "Nuh-huh. I told you...I don't know anything about kids. Or playing."
"What do you know about?" she asks.
"Soldiering. Spying. Protecting people. I'm a trained killer," he adds mimicking her fighting stance.
"Varrick!" I hiss at him. Laurie just stares at him and mutters in Spanish. Varrick straightens up and regret across his face as he watches Laurie and realizes what he just said. I sigh. I'm not sure Laurie and Varrick will be able to maintain any kind of acquaintance, there's just too much opportunity for pain there.
Luka is completely unimpressed by his scary credentials. She rolls her eyes at him. "Okay Killer, do you know how to this?" she holding her arm out straight and turning it in a big, swift circle.
"Sure?" he says, mimicking her gesture.
"Then come to turn the rope with Elleni so I can jump," she says imperiously, and tugs him away by the hand. He shoots me a wild look.
I laugh at him. I've never seen Varrick look even mildly nervous. "Help," he mouths at me.
"Ashlynn? Help you? That's pretty fluking funny, Varrick." Leed slings an arm around me, keeping me firmly in place so that I don't join Varrick and coach his interaction with the kids. "You don't deserve her help. This is your karma, dude. You're in kiddie hell." Leed's head whips around, like he senses something.
Luis is loping towards us. His got a rock star expression but his eyes are lit up.
"There he is! My man!" Leed booms and schools him on a homie handshake.
Luis peers at him critically. "You still drunk?"
"Nah." Leed jerks his head toward me. "The Sun came back out and I dried up."
Luis grins at me opening his arms wide. "Hey, Sunshine. Miss me?"
Okay, I take it back. Luis might be the funniest, cutest kid I've ever seen. I cock my head at him and put my hands on my hips. "I see you've been taking flirting lessons from Leed. Why didn't you tell me you were calling him, too?"
He shrugs. "He said you were on a break. I know how to be cool."
"So you've been talking to Ashlynn on the phone, too?" Leed demands, pretending to frown at Luis. He throws his hands wide. "I can't believe you would try to push up on my girl like that. I said we were on a break, yeah, but I also said I was gonna get her back. And you were running your own game with her? I thought we were bro's, Luis."
Luis shrugs. "You were drunk and sad every time I called you. It got old."
Leed ruffles his hair. "Yeah, it did. I'm sorry about that. I'm off the sad sauce, okay?"
"Okay," Luis says mildly. He grins at me. "Come check out this cool 3D puzzle I'm working on. It's the Eiffel Tower. Ever been there?"
I have, onceâwhen I was about his age. Yet, I don't want to focus on the experience with him. There's a wistful, hungry look in his eyes, and I don't want to make him feel sad about adventures that are out of reach for him right now.
"Mmmmm-hmmmm," I say casually. "You know what I was talking about with Laurie? Coming back in a couple of months and taking all of you bigger kids on a special trip. Somewhere in Costa Rica, but somewhere really awesome. Maybe we can do that four times a year from now...like once every season?"
He grins, then remembers his chill. He gives the chin tip. "That's cool." Leed grunts agreement and adds his own chin tip. He licks his lips, and presses them thin, like he's trying not to say anything.
"So you plan on traveling down here a lot, as part of the new job?"
"Yes," I say simply.
"Hmmm. I didn't realize. I guess I'll let West know to get your team travel ready when I can't come."
I ignore Leed and roll my hand invitation to Luis, so that he walks with me, leaving Leed a little disgruntled behind us. What did he think? That I would stay in LA and just sign checks, handing out his money without any kind of oversight? I want to help Laurie, not just be a paper pusher.
I put a hand on Luis' thin shoulder. "So, about that trip. Laurie said that you guys could even make a suggestion box about where you might like to go. Is there a really cool place here in Costa Rica you've heard about? Or a really cool thing you would like to do? Maybe we could make the suggestion box after you show me your puzzle."
He smiles. "How about surfing?"
"That's one good idea. Let's go ask your friends what ideas they have."
â-
We spend a couple of hours at Hogarcito. I am trying to learn everything I can about the budgets and the day to day operations of the facility. I have a lot of work to do, to put together a proposal for the funding that the Sweet Child of Mine Foundation will offer to Laurie, and sorting through the various ways we can help. I also have a lot to learn about the business end of philanthropy but Marianne assured me she will help me find good mentors for the Board that will help get me up to speed.
At some point Varrick joins us and asks about security concerns. Laurie tells him her biggest risk is for the teenage girls, either getting lured away by "boyfriends" who turn them to dark purposes, or once, being outright abducted. He doesn't like that at all, but for right now he seems to be mulling over the information quietly. Something tells me it won't be the last conversation Varrick and I have about thatâhow to keep those vulnerable girls safe. I need to talk to Marianne, but maybe I'll offer him a seat on the Board of Directors. His input would certainly be specialized and valuable.
Despite the fact that Leed is covered in kids the whole time, and Luis pretty much attached to him at the hip, at some point Leed makes some calls and gets us a place to stay. After sharing a meal with the staff and children at Hogarcito, we drop Varrick off at a local hotel and make our way to the last minute accommodations Leed made for us.
No tree house this time, but a private bungalow in a luxury resort. The dwelling is tucked back into the green, wet jungle and yet a short walk from a private beach. He's even had the staff drop off all the necessary toiletries and changes of clothes, since we hopped on a plane with nothing more than our passports and credit cards.
Leed wanders out onto the patio as I wipe a cool cloth over my sweaty face and neck strip out of my pantsuit. I pull on a pair of shorts and a tank top. When I join him, he's on the phone.
It's Kat. She's upset and she's been trying to call me, but my phone has been turned off in my bag. We listen to the whole train wreck of her night, but before we can give more than the barest commiserations, she says, "Oh my god, that's Adam texting, he says Trace was stupid drunk in the VIP and they are taking him to their house. Trace is asking where I am...he wants me there...I've got to go!" and the line goes dead.
Leed sighs and tosses the phone onto the table, putting a casual hand on my thigh. "They'll be alright. They've weathered you and Street. They can get through Ross and Gina."
I consider. I think he's probably right. Trace might be irritated at Kat for not telling him about seeing Ross visiting his mom, but his real deal is really fear and unresolved pain from his relationships with Ross and Gina. There's never been anybody he trusted with that pain except Kat. Well, and Marley, but that's on a professional level. When he sobers up, he will want Kat, maybe more than ever, to help him process all his feelings.
"They love each other very much," I agree. "Love like that is worth fighting for. Trace knows that." I move closer to Leed, relishing the weight of his hand on my bare thigh, but pulling it loose so that I tuck underneath it. I nestle my face against his neck, kissing. He sighs but he does little to encourage me. When my hand trails to the button on his jeans, he squeezes it and moves it away.
"Ashlynn, we need to talk."
His words are reluctant and weary, but they sting. I've never initiated sex with Leed beforeânever had toâand now when I need him so muchâneed to feel what I've been fighting so hard forâis he telling me I didn't win like I thought I did?
No, that's not right. He's told me over and over in the last few days that he loves me. He would hardly let me leave his house, because he wanted me safe, healthy, and protected. I know he loves me.
He just doesn't want to have sex with me right now. And I can think of a few good reasons, but instead of spiraling into hurt and over-thinking, I should probably just let him tell me.
I gently push away from his chest and draw up my legs to set cross-legged, facing him.
"Okay."
His body language stays relaxed. His head is still resting against the sofa back. He turns it toward me and takes my hand.
"I love you, but there are a couple of things you need to hear, and I don't want our amazing sex just to sweep them away. I don't want to make the mistake that Trace and Kat keep making."
"You mean...not telling each other really important things?"
His teeth shine in the darkness. "Exactly. We're not them, okay? You're not nineteen and new to adulting. I'm not...afraid of my emotions. I don't want to take you to bed and pretend like the shit on my mind doesn't matter. It matters."
I reach for his hand and he twines his fingers easily in mine. "Okay. I'm listening."
He sits up now and matches my crosslegged position, taking my other hand in his as well. "Well, the simplest of the things I need to tell you is not easy at all to say, but I can't omit what I did."
I look at our entwined hands in the moonlight and nod, knowing what he's going to say.
"While we were apart...I had sex with Sophie. Once. I was drunk, it was meaningless...and I regretted it immediately. I'm sorry. Even though we were on a break or both trying to figure out how to protect the other, or whatever the fuck we were doing, I still belonged to you, and I'm sorry I shared my body with her." He puts my hand over his heart.
I nod. "I know how sorry you are, Leed. Believe me."
He gives me a rueful smile. "You and Cam, huh?"
I nod, swallowing hard. "After I saw you in the papers with Sophie. You were holding my keychain and I thought...I thought you were sending me a message. Like you were giving it to her."
He shakes his head. "I was keeping it with me, to keep you close. But then I lost it, and I sort of...lost myself for a little bit."
I curl my fingers in his t-shirt. "Me too. Sleeping with Cam...I was trying to convince myself I could get over you."
He snorts. "Like Dr.Sucks-At-Sex could ever fill my jock-strap."
I smile and say nothing about the mean name he called Cam. His eyes narrows at me.
"What?"
"I didn't say a word."
"Damn. He made you come, didn't he?"
"Remember when you told me at the Vision Video Party that we shouldn't talk about our past lovers?"
He snorts. "That's a yes. Dr. Try-Hard finally scored the big win." He shakes his head. "I'm not gonna take in personal, baby." He rakes a hand through his hair and gives me a crooked grin. "Fuck that. I'm definitely gonna take it personal. I'm gonna think of it like...I liberated your orgasms. He only has me to thank for that little ego boost."
"I'm glad you are taking this so well."
He shrugs. "I'm a lot of things, but I'm no hypocrite. How can I pitch a bitch about Cam, considering Sophie? Unless you are trying to tell me you still have feelings for him?"
I squeeze my eyes shut and bow my head to our hands. "No, it was revenge sex for me. Me sleeping with Cam was only because I saw you with Sophie on the internet. But for him it was more. He thought we were getting back together. When I told him the story about my scars and being a sub, he freaked out. And actually, I'm not sure what he's thinking now, because we left it kind of...vague. He thinks I have some kind of multiple personality syndrome caused from my brain trauma. He wanted me to have a psychiatric evaluation. He was talking about meds to keep that side of me suppressed. I promised him I would think about the things he said."
"Jesus. That guy is such an asshole." Leed takes my head in his hands, forcing my gaze to his. "Look at me. You're not mentally ill. You know that, right? You have some health problems, and some shame problems, and an addiction, but you know what is reality and what is not. You are balanced, at least as much as any other sane person is balanced. You're just...human. Flawed in unique ways, like every other person. You know that, right?"
"I know," I sigh. "He's not an asshole, really. Actually I feel sorry for him. He can't accept that I'm not the innocent fifteen year old that belonged to him. The whole thing was a huge mistake and I'm very sorry. Because being with him just made me realize I've never known real love with anyone except you. But also because I've hurt him again all over. I think I left a big mess that I'm going to have to deal with, when we get back."
"A mess we will deal with together...if you can forgive me for Sophie?"
"There's nothing to forgive."
"Bullshit." Leed places a hand on his heart. "I don't think you want to be with Cam, but the fact that you slept with him, it hurts, Ash. It fucking hurts. So I know it has to hurt that I was with her. And that's not the only thing that hurts. Every time that I think of what you did with Slade...risking yourself, your sister, my sister...Ashlynn, it makes me furious. I'm angry, and I'm in love with you at the same time, and it's very fucking confusing, okay? And I can't do what Trace does...just bury it all, pretend it doesn't matter. I can't do what Adam does...I'm not so evolved that I forgive quite so easily. I don't know what to do here. I feel...I feel...like a hostage to my own emotions." He rakes restlessly at his own hair and looks up at the stars, like he's seeking some kind of perspective, or peace.
Again, I feel my soul pouring like water from my depths, moved like a tide toward this man and his heart that is so tender at the same time it's so bold. He hurts, but he's not afraid to say it. And it makes this all so hard. I thought we had finally reached the easy partâthe victory.
I tentatively straddle him and he lets me, but he makes no move to embrace me. He looks down, and his hands come slowly to my thighs, patting me in what feels like reluctant reassurance. I scoot back slightly, leaning my head upon his chest, planting kisses all over his sweet, wonderful heart.
"I'm so sorry. I never thought of it like that, Leed. I guess...I guess I was really selfish. I thought I was protecting you, solving my own problem. And now that it's all over, I thought things between us would be...okay. Everything I did, I did because I want to be with you and I want you to have everything you wantâyour career, your lifestyle, your place in the spotlight to shine. I looked at it like...I was fighting for us. For you." I lift my gaze to his.
My own heart is poundingâa boom of determination in my chest. Like it knows it has to go on, even though my entire being feels heavy and slowing.I would have risked anything to protect Leed. The idea that I've broken us in the process...it's turning my blood black and cold and thick with dread, as I ask the question.
"Are you telling me...you have doubts about us now? That we aren't...okay?"
His face is stoic but his eyes reflect the soft light of the moon. He squeezes my thighs.
"We will be. I mean, I hope we will. I want us to be. I really really fucking do. But you got my on my knees, Sunshine. The way you risked yourself showed me, I can't live without you. And that fucking terrifies me, because I don't think you see itâthat you don't love yourself as much as I do. I don't know how to do what Adam has doneâhelp Mac heal and grow. I'm more like Kat...floudering around with Trace, afraid to poke at his wounds, fucking shit up worse in the process. I am madly in love with you, but I still don't know shit about actually loving you, giving you what you need."
My fingers fist in the fabric of his t-shirt, holding on, still fighting for what I refuse to give up. "No. That is not true. You are everything I need."
He shakes his head. "I'm not. You know I'm not. You need...purpose, more than just sharing my bed and my life, more than just being a part-time wellness instructor and being on my arm on the red carpets. Now you've found that...but you've found it at Hogarcitoâthree thousand miles from home. You're already talking about coming back here in a few weeks. I can't come, I'll be on tour. We're setting shit up from the get-go to be living a lot of long-distance love. Don't get me wrong, I don't see this new job as bad for you, but just... hard on us. Hard on you, to stay on routine. Hard on me, because I go fucking crazy without you.
"That's not our only issue, either. One day, you will decide, you need a family to feel fulfilled. Even I can see, you were made to be a mother. And I'm not sure if or when I'll ever be ready for that. I've fucked shit up so bad with Ollie and Tam and Ben. I don't know how I'm going to make that right. I don't know if I could risk messing up like that with you.
"And the biggest problem I see...you need a place in the sun. I don't know if I can give you that, because the shadows of my world are always gonna be creepin' on you. "
I keep hold of his shirt, breathing, letting everything he said penetrate into my soul. He's not wrong in any of it. We have obstacles. Big ones.
Finally, I raise my eyes to his. There's only a look of patient, pained love on his face. "You know how you solve problems like these, Leed?"
His hands come to my hips. "Please, Ashlynn, if you have a fucking clue, tell me..."
"One day at at time," I whisper gently. I lean forward and press my lips to his third eye.
He smiles beneath my kiss. "Every single fucking time. I see worlds, when you kiss me there."
"We can see them all," I promise him. "When LA gets too shady, we'll chase the sun. Your heart will be my level ground, the place where I go to find my balance. And when you are inside me, the times we spend apart will only make it sweeter. And it's okay if you aren't sure about kids. I do want them, but for now, I'll have Ollie and Lennon and the children at Hogarcito to give my affection to. And if being a father to more kids never feels right to you, maybe I'll be a single mom and you'll have to accept the child in my life like I have accepted the child in yours. Life is messy and nothing will ever be perfect, but I don't want to be without your love. Ever. That's the darkest place I can imagine."
Suddenly, Leed is pushing me backwards, climbing on top of me, kissing me passionately for the first time since the Grammy's. "I want you, Ashlynn. I'm tired of being angry with you. Tired of feeling confused. I want to fuck you until I feel nothing but...you. Me. Us. Ecstasy."
The heaviness in my limbs is rapidly being consumed by Leed's desire. Underneath him, I feel myself returning to life.
"Are you sure?" I pant, barely able to force the words, because he's pushing the air out of me with his weight and with his assault on lips. "Earlier, you didn't want to have angry sex before..."
"It's not just angry sex, if I've told you exactly how you feel. It's make-up sex," he assures me. "Shit isn't going to be easy, but you tell me one step at a time. Okay. First step...I need to feel what we are fighting for. I need your light to break all over me like a new day, Sunshine."
Then he's rising off me, tugging me off the patio as he's swooping up a large beach blanket, leading me down the path to the private beach, shedding clothesâhis and mineâas we go. By the time we reach the edge of the jungle path, we are naked as as Adam and Eve. Leed's beautiful muscles ripple beneath the moonlight as he spreads the blanket.
I feel acutely aware of every sensation. My hair tickling my shoulders in the breeze. The cool sand beneath my feet. The energy of moonlight spreading across my skin, sinking deep inside, lending me mystery and strength.
Salty winds whip my flesh, but Leed catches me up just as I feel cold. His warmth steals my shiver and lights me all over. I fold into his powerful need. He drops us both rapidly to the blanket.
He pours himself over me gently. Mouth on mouth, skin on skin, soul on soul. He doesn't stop for foreplay, but enters me at once. He's not so much fucking me as...residing in me. His hips are still but his mouth and hands and words are...seeking. Looking for our connection. "Fuck, Ashlynn. I've felt so goddamn lost without you. Now, I feel...home."
"Good," I pant, "Let...me...welcome...you...home...properly," I kiss him deeply, wrap my legs around him and pull his left shoulder as I press his right. His impeccable instincts allow him to catch my meaning. He rolls on his back as I come atop him.
I give him all of meâmy rythym, my kisses, my hands worshipping his toned abdomen and chest. He thrusts with me, but for a long time, he keeps his hands on my thighs, letting me make love to him, letting me lavish him with every ounce of my attention and affection. His eyes travel my face and my naked body as I give him pleasure. The whole time I'm riding him, I'm reaching for him with words, too.
"I love you, Leed. I'm so happy. Always happy, when I'm with you. I'm not angry about our fight, our break. I understand why you made the ultimatums you did. I understand why you tried to force me into fighting instead of running. I understand why you publically broke up with me. I understand why you did what you to do--breaking into Varrick's. I get all of it. Please...Leed...let's put the past behind us..."
He's reached his limit of passive resistance. He curls up and grabs me by the roots of my hair, tugging harshly to show his feelings.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm just not as sweet as you are. It's harder for me to let it go."
His intensity doesn't scare me, it drives me wild with desire to grant him everything he needsâto help him release his anger and confusion and fear.
"Give it all to me," I tell him. "I'm strong enough, I promise. I'll always be strong enough for your honesty. I want all of you."
He growls, and yanks my head back, attacking my throat and breasts with hungry, messy sucks and kisses. Somehow, Leed manages to raise me up just long enough to swing up on his knees. He tucks my calves beneath my thighs so that we are kneeling together, face to face, our sex still joined. He's taking control-one hand on my hip and one hand hooking up over my shoulder-as he kneels beneath me, thrusting and flexing my hip and back to coax me into the grinding motion he desires.
His hands are squeezing, his dick punishing me with pace, his teeth nipping like he can't help himself. Every sting thrills. Every pressure is pleasure. "You are mine. You don't belong to any other man. Or to darkness. Or secrets. Or drugs. Or even to yourself, if your brain is hurting you. You're mine. To fuck, to love, to protect, to keep whole. God baby, don't make me crazy like this ever again. You won your fight. Let me be your hero now..."
"You are my hero" I tell him. "My inspiration, my motivation, my guiding strength...oh god...Leed...you're everything to me..."
"Ashlynn...fuck...I love you..." There are no more words as we move together, letting our limber bodies relearn their connection. He forces me backward, supporting my back with his hands as he rises over me, trapping my bent legs beneath me.
His pace picks up. He drives into the perfect place inside my upper walls, like he knows exactly what my body needs. He's relentless, trapping my hands, keeping me bent so that I can hardly move, injecting blinding pleasure with each thrust.
He binds me without restraints. He claims my surrender with trust. He becomes the only beast I will never flee. He commands me over and over, and my body yields up powerful climaxes to him. For him. With him.
It takes Leed a long time to work out his feelings, but when the sun comes up, he carries meâalmost lifeless with exhaustionâinto the sea.
I cling to him, as he rocks me gently in the nearly still lagoon. I'm sore and all of my muscles feel weak, but my Lion's strength is not wasted. I think he would have kept going if I hadn't totally given out.
I press kisses into his salty neck. "Still angry with me?"
He arms draw me closer. "No, I'm not angry anymore, baby."
"That's good."
"Gotta be honest, though. I didn't get the clarity I was hoping for. I was kind hoping for a vision of our future. That part didn't happen."
My heart aches for this man who thinks I deserve a perfect future and doesn't know his imperfection is all I will every really need.
"Mmmm...maybe you just need...an adjustment" I reach up and tap experimentally on his forehead. "Okay, try now."
He chuckles and kisses just in front of my ear. "Missed thatâhow funny you are. Missed this too..."
He sticks his damn tongue down my ear and I shriek and flail and splash but ultimately I let him take me down under the sea and we kiss with eyes open.
We break the surface just as the sun rises hot above the jungle canopy. My heart soars in the beautiful morning. We may not know what the future holds, but I feel like our long night has passed for good.
I feel like this should be the end, don't you?
Alas, I just can't give them up yet. I have....hmmmm....at least three more scenes I've "seen" and want you to see as well.